"How was your weekend?" I hear Randy's voice whisper over my shoulders as we head for the lockers after our first class.
I shrug.
What's there to tell?
There's really not much to tell. My life's pretty much an open book. A history textbook to be precise...very predictable and always the same.
"Same old. Just homework and movies."
The only extraordinary thing about my weekend was the fact that Randy stayed the night at my house on Friday, and I'm not going to say anything about that.
"That's very boring!" He tells me, scrunching his face.
"Well what'd you expect? A trip to the moon? A night out at Ibiza? Rock climbing?"
"Funny." He bursts into laughter and rans up ahead, bumping into one of our classmates and knocking down the books she was holding.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" He yells and I can't help but stare at him in disgust.
"Watch where you're going?" I repeat. "That's what you have to say to her?" I ask him, trying to keep the annoyance from showing in my voice.
"Why the face?"
Unfortunately, when I'm annoyed, I can actually keep my mouth from letting out that I'm annoyed, but it is my face that gives me out everytime!
If you annoy me, you're definitely going to see it on my face!
"Aren't you forgetting something?" I ask, nodding towards Chloe, who's now scrambling for her stuff before they get kicked away by the numerous feet walking along the hallway.
He gives me a confused stare and I sigh in frustration.
Is he messing with me or he's actually not aware what he just did was wrong?
"You knocked her stuff down," I point out. "Aren't you going to help her pick them up? Or at least apologize?"
"Oh that...." He scratches his neck with a smile. "She's already picked them up." He points to her retreating back.
"So, go apologize."
"Seriously?" I can feel the disbelief in his tone.
"Yes, seriously. Come on."
I hold his hand and drag him back to the classroom, to Chloe's seat.
Her face is buried in a textbook so she doesn't see us approach.
"Hi, Chloe." My voice is way too cheerful for my own liking.
She immediately looks up from the book, clearly startled.
She looks from me to Randy and back again, making no effort to conceal her confusion.
"Sorry to bother you, but Randy has something he wants to say to you."
I watch her already confused expression grow even more confused.
Randy just stares at her without saying anything, making the whole atmosphere very uncomfortably awkward and tense.
"Randy!" I say with clenched teeth, nudging him to continue.
"What do I say?" He whispers to me.
"Are you kidding me right now?" I whisper back.
"I'm serious. What do I say?"
Chloe clears her throat and we immediately stop whispering.
"Tell her you're sorry," I mouth and he nods his understanding.
"Hi." He gives a nervous chuckle.
"Hi," she responds, still staring at us in confusion.
"I just wanted to say that ermm..." He breaks off, and I can't tell if he's looking for the right words or just isn't convinced that an apology is necessary.
"Go on," I urge him undertone.
"I'm sorry for knocking your stuff down back in the hallway," He hurriedly blurts out and I fight a giggle.
Could an apology be this hard to make?
The initial look of confusion on Chloe's face turns into that of shock, which immediately gives way for a smile so big it can be spotted miles away.
"Thank you," she squeals, her face flushed with gratitude.
He flashes her his world famous sweet smile before turning to walk out.
I quickly wave her goodbye and catch up with him.
"See, that wasn't so hard," I tease, once I fall into step with him.
"Whatever," He mumbles undertone and dismisses me with a shrug before speeding his pace.
I struggle to catch up with him and his long strides.
"You're upset because I made you apologize? Really?" I throw my hands in the air.
"I'm not."
"Oh yeah? Because you sure do look very upset right now."
We stand there looking at each other for a while, before I break the silence.
"Look, a few weeks ago, I was just like Chloe. Invisible, Alone, disregarded and pretty much treated like garbage. And as if that's not bad enough, someone would knock your stuff down on occasion, without an apology or any sign of helping you getting them, because apparently you're supposed to watch where you're going. I understand how she felt, Randy. And as petty or insignificant as that may sound, it actually does go a long way to make you feel even more crappy than you already feel."
I end breathless, my eyes beginning to sting from the tears that were beginning to form.
He had no idea what it felt like to live like a ghost. How painful it was to exist in flesh, yet get treated like you weren't even there.
He didn't.
Not him, and definitely not any of all the other popular kids.
Their whole life they've lived in the spotlight....as spectacles. All they had to do was just breath, and then all of humanity would acknowledge their very existence.
But us, we wouldn't get anyone to acknowledge our existence even if we tried...like really really tried!
The bunch of spoiled brats! They had no idea what it felt like to have no sense of belonging...to just exist, like an island, with no association whatsoever to others.
"I'm not upset, Mandy."
"Then why are you acting up?"
"Because I didn't think it was such a big deal," He almost yells. "I mean, if you're walking around and someone bumps into you and knocks your stuff down all you gotta do is pick 'em up and move, right? That's what I thought! Until now...until I saw the smile on her face when I said sorry," He continues.
Is he....?
No friggin' way!...
"Damn, Randy! Are you being emotional right now?" I taunt, but he doesn't smile, which makes me realize he's actually serious.
Did realization finally hit him?
Was this finally my cue?....To talk to him about being less of a jerk?
Was this a sign?
"Feels great, doesn't it?" I ask instead.
"Yeah. Surprisingly it does," He admits, finally smiling a little.
"Great!" I squeal in delight.
"You know, a wise person once said and I quote, "The beauty in life is not how happy you are, but how happy others are because of you" ," I go on with a big grin.
O I most definitely was enjoying this, for some weird reason.
"Okay Shakespeare, spare me the lesson. Our history session isn't due for another day, save it for then. And what, are you now some kind of motivational speaker?" I can almost hear the smile in his voice.
I shake my head in amusement.
"Not just a motivational speaker, but a life coach too. Your very own personal life coach. You know, I'm not only interested in your academics. I also want to teach you to be a high quality, non sucky human being....you know, to be less of a reckless jerk and more of a likeable person. By the time I'm done with you, you won't even recognize yourself!" I blabber on, trying to keep a straight face and not burst out into laughter.
"We think the same!" He exclaims. "You won't recognize yourself when I'm done with you too," he returns my enthusiasm, but I feel he's actually just mocking me.
"Oh no, we don't," I begin to protest. " I want to make you into a better person, but you, you just want to turn me into a party animal. The difference is quite clear," I tell him, finally bursting out into hysterical laughter.
"Totally! You could be like the most popular party girl in all-"
"Whoa! whoa! Slow down, dude. It ain't gon happen." I give him a tap on the shoulder and watch as his enthusiasm, or fake enthusiasm wears off.
"Are you guys planning on cutting class without me!" Audrey's voice echos in the hallway and I look around in surprise.
Where'd everyone go?
They were all here just a few minutes ago.
"Shhhhh!" Randy and I both yell at the same time.
"Are you?" She demands, edging closer.
"Not yet," Randy tells her with a wink. "Come on, let's get to class kids," He continues in a stern voice, shooing us back to class.
+++
The closing bell finally goes off and I release a sigh of relief.
It's only Monday and I already feel so tired.
Right now I just can't wait to jump into my bed and take a well deserved long nap.
"You coming?" I ask Audrey when I notice she isn't packing her books.
"Not yet. You go on ahead. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay. Bye!"
I spot Randy at the back and wave at him before I leave.
I join the crowds of students and head towards the lockers, then I remember I have to meet with Randy for Algebra today.
So much for jumping right into bed.
I guess I can kiss my well deserved long nap goodbye now.
"Damn!" I mutter under my breath and turn to make my way back to the class to find Randy.
He knew we had a session today yet he didn't bother to remind me when I waved at him.
I bet he was just glad to realize I'd forgotten.
Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I -
"Duck!" Is all I hear before a basketball flies in from nowhere and lands straight into my hand, knocking down my bag, sending all it's contents flying in every direction.
Boy, am I glad that I didn't happen to pack an emergency period kit today?
I'd literally die of embarrassment if it were laying on the floor with all my other stuff for all to see.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against periods.
Except for the excruciatingly painful cramps and mood swings that accompanies it.
I'm not embarrassed to have my periods or admit that I have them, but society has brought us up to keep hush hush about all things relating to periods and I think that's really messed up.
I mean, why should we be embarrassed about our periods? It's not like it's our fault that nature decides to take its course every month.
It almost seems like a crime to openly hold a sanitary pad or a tampon. To stain yourself in public, even worse!
The stares you'd get are enough to make you feel like you've committed the worst offense known to man.
So yeah, it's best to keep all period related issues hush hush at this school.
"Aaarrrggghhhh!" I yell in annoyance.
Now everyone's staring.
Great!
I turn back to find Jake and his slow ass friends laughing.
"Jake?" I yell, making no effort to hide my anger.
"The one and only," He yells back with a sweet smile, drawing closer.
"I'm pretty sure you're supposed to yell "Duck" before you throw the ball, not after you throw it, dumbass!" My voice has now returned to normal.
"I'll make sure to do that next time."
"Next time?" I scoff and ignore him, bending to gather my stuff.
"Here, let me help you," He offers and bends too.
"I don't want your help!" I yell.
"You know, you girls talk in opposites. So all I'm hearing right now is that you definitely want my help."
"Whatever," I mumble inaudibly. I'm way too pissed to even indulge him in an argument about how girls communicate.
"Here," He offers me my books and I open the bag for him to put them in.
"Thanks," I tell him grudgingly.
I'm not exactly thankful for anything, but I'm forced to say so because I'm a nice person with lots of manners, unlike him.
"You're welcome," he tells me with a smile I don't return.
I turn to leave.
"You left something."
My heart stops momentarily.
Is it my emergency period kit?
Did I actually bring it today?
Or is it that one sanitary pad I left in my bag's secret compartment?
Slowly, I turn back to look at him, dreading what I might find him holding.
Fortunately, it's not a sanitary pad or my period kit, it's some piece of paper I don't even recognize.
I sigh in relief, releasing a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
My heart freezes when he flips the paper over.
Except, it's not actually just a paper!
It's a picture!....one I definitely don't remember posing for, yet I'm in it!!!
Except, I wasn't actually posing in the picture!
It was more of a straight from behind the scenes kind of picture.
"Isn't this cute?" He asks with a sly smile.
Lurch forward! Grab the picture!
Do something!
Anything! Now!
But I can't bring myself to do anything. My brain's running pretty slow right now and it's taking me longer to process everything.
"Give me that!"
"Let me see!"
"I wanna see too!" I hear the voices around yell.
Oh no!
This was not happening!
I gulp hard before looking around to see if anyone else had seen the picture.
EVERYONE is scrambling for a quick peek.
I just stand there and watch them, slowly zoning out as everything becomes a blur, and their voices, nothing but distant chatter in my ears.
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