I HUNG UP my coat as I walked into Central Perk, the smell of coffee strong. I overhear my friends talking about some date, which is nothing new.
"Hey guys!" I greet as I walk over to the orange sofa that my group of friends were sitting at.
A jumble of 'hey's' and 'hi's' were said as they continued their conversation. I sat in the forest green armchair to the right of the sofa.
"There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!" Monica stated, slightly annoyed by her friend's teasing.
"What are we talking about?" I asked from my spot of the armchair.
"Just Monica's date." Joey said as he took a sip form his coffee.
"It's not a date!" Monica stated.
"C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!" Joey pleaded.
I rolled my eyes at Joey as Chandler started talking. "So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?"
I started laughing as Chandler smirked and winked at me. I was probably the only one who always laughed at his jokes. Probably because we have the same humor.
"Wait, does he eat chalk?" Phoebe asked causing all of us to look at her weirdly.
"Just 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl." Phoebe sighed. Me and Chandler gave each other a look before turning to Monica again.
"Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex." Monica finished.
"Sounds like a date to me." Chandler added as Joey and I agreed.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･ﾟ
ABOUT AN HOUR later, we're still sitting at Central Perk, except I sat next to Chandler on the sofa. Chandler was telling us about some weird dream he had the night before.
"Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realise I am totally naked." Chandler says as he puts his arm on the couch behind me.
Multiple 'been there' and 'oh, yeah's' were said. "Then I look down, am I realize there's a phone...there." Chandler continues.
"Instead of...?" Joey asks thinking what everybody else was thinking.
"That's right!" Chandler exclaims.
"Never had that dream." I say as I take a sip from my coffee.
Chandler continues, "then all of the sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother, which is very weird, because- she never calls me!" I laugh as Chandler puts his hand on my knee.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
ANOTHER HOUR GOES by, Ross has now entered Central Perk.
"Hi" Ross said sadly while holding an umbrella.
"This guy says 'hello', I wanna kill myself." Joey states.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" Monica asked Ross
"I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out my mouth and tied it around my neck..." Ross stated as he walked towards Chandler.
"Cookie?" Chandler offered as Ross declined.
"That's oddly specific, are you sure somebody didn't actually reach down your throat?" I added while smirking at Chandler.
"Yes, Ella! I'm sure!" Ross exclaimed.
"Carol moved her stuff out today." Monica told us, "let me get you some coffee." She continued as she got up to get Ross a cup.
Ross sat down next to me and Phoebe, when all of a sudden Phoebe started to do weird hand motions above his head.
"No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura!" Ross stated as Phoebe moved her hands away, "No, just leave my aura alone, okay? I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy."
"No you don't." Monica responded from her spot at the front counter.
"No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!" Ross exclaimed angrily.
"And you never knew she was a lesbian..." Joey said in a 'duh' tone.
"No!! Okay?! Why does everybody keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?" Ross responded annoyed as he was annoyed by everyone around him.
"Well, there HAD to be some signs, Ross." I butted in.
"Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian..." Chandler said randomly while looking at the newspaper. We all looked at him with a confused look.
"Chandler, you are aware you're not talking in your head, right?" I said as I turned to him.
"Did I say that out loud?" Chandler asked as Monica handed Ross his coffee.
I rolled my eyes playfully at Chandler which he returned by doing the same.
"Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?" Joey added on to the conversation.
"Oh god." I whispered to myself already knowing where this was going. Chandler must have heard because he started to giggle as he put down the newspaper.
"Ross gestured his consent for Joey to continue, "Strip joint! C'mon you're single! Have some hormones!"Joey stated.
"I don't want to be single, Okay? I just... I just- I just want to be married again!" Ross exclaimed.
Then just like that a soaking woman enters Central Perk in a wedding dress. Not something you see everyday, so we all turn to look at her.
"And I just want a million dollars!" Chandler hopefully exclaimed as he extended his arm out. I probably would've laughed if I hadn't recognized the woman.
Monica must have also recognized her and figured out who she was before because she got up and asked, "Rachel?!"
"Oh My God, Rachel?" I said as I got up and walked towards her. Me, Monica, and Rachel used to be friends in high school.
"Oh God Monica, Ella, Hi! I just went to your guy's building and you guys weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you both might be here and you are, you are!"
"Can I get you some coffee?" A waitress asked us confused as to why this woman was in a wedding dress.
"De-caff." Me and Monica say as we point to Rachel, "Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor." Monica tells the gang.
"This is everybody, you already know Ella, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?" Monica introduced everyone.
"Hi, sure!" Rachel said going to give him a hug, but Ross's umbrella opens. Causing Ross to sit back down in defeat.
Rachel sits next to Ross and we all sit in silence for a moment, "So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?" Monica joked while trying to get an explanation.
"Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden-" Rachel suddenly stops explaining when a waitress hands her a cup of de-caff.
"Sweet 'n' Lo?" Rachel asked the waiter, who left to get the sweetener, "I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head." Rachel continued as Ross poured the sweetener in her cup.
"Y'know, I mean, he always looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing it for?" Rachel questioned as she turned to me and Monica.
"So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that the three of us have drifted apart, but you guy's are the only people I knew who lived here in the city." Rachel confessed to us.
"Who weren't invited to the wedding" Monica said slightly hurt by not getting invited.
"Ohh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue..." Rachel added as Ross stirred the coffee with a spoon.
I turned to Monica with a 'Is she serious' look as Rachel finished her explanation.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
WE ALL WENT up to Monica's and I's apartment after we all finished our coffee. Everyone except Rachel, who was calling her dad, was watching TV. Ross was sitting on the back of the couch, Monica was sitting in the arm chair, Chandler and Joey were sitting on the sofa, and me and Phoebe were sitting on the floor. Me sitting between Chandlers legs.
"Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it." Monica joked.
LDaddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well it matters to me!" I heard Rachel say but chose to pay more attention to the Tv.
Chandler put his hand on my shoulder, "Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants."
"I say push her down the stairs." Joey added.
Me, Ross, Monica, Chandler, and Joey all start chanting, "Push her down the stairs!" Then the lady in the show finally pushes her down the stairs causing us all to start clapping and cheering.
"C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe!" Rachel told her dad through the phone, causing us all to turn in confusion.
"You're a shoe! You're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and said, 'What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!" Rachel exclaimed.
Ross walked away from the fridge after getting his drink and said, "You can see where he'd have trouble." Causing Rachel to glare at him.
"Look Daddy, it's my life. Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica and Ella." Rachel told her father.
I turned to Monica as the rest of the gang turned to both of us, "Well, I guess we've established she's staying here with Ella and Monica." Monica told us.
"Well, if it was that easy to move in, why'd I even ask you, Mon?" I joked.
"Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money." Rachel scoffed at her father, Monica turned to me with wide eyes, not believing what Rachel was saying, "Wait! Wait! I said maybe!" Rachel quickly added.
"She hasn't changed on bit, has she?" I asked the gang, but mostly towards Monica.
"Nope!" Monica said as Rachel put the phone down.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
I SAT WITH Chandler and Joey at the kitchen table as they were making sandwiches, I was working on a new drawing. Monica and Phoebe were trying to calm Rachel down, and Ross was looking out the balcony window.
"Hey, can one of you make me a sandwich?" I ask the two men in-front of me who were making their sandwiches.
"Sure, what do you want on it?" Chandler asks while reaching for two slices of bread.
I look up from my drawing and smile, "surprise me." I challenge.
"Okay, but if you don't like it no complaining." He smiles back as he starts to put the ingredients on the sandwich.
"Chandler, can you make me a sandwich?" Joey asked with his mouth already full with a sandwich.
"Joey, you have a sandwich in your hand. Why do you need another one?" Chandler questioned.
"Don't question my level of hunger!" Joey exclaimed defensively.
I laughed as Chandler handed me my sandwich, I could never get tired of hearing them bicker.
"Just breathe, breathe... that's it. Just try to think of nice clam things." Monica reassured Rachel as she was breathing into a paper bag.
"Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens," Phoebe started to sing causing all of us to look at her, "...bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la..." she continued.
Rachel interrupted her, "I'm all better now." She said removing the paper bag from her mouth.
Phoebe grinned and walked to to kitchen towards me, Chandler, and Joey. "I helped!" She exclaimed. God, Phoebe is the best.
"Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life." Monica encouraged her.
Joey moved to lean on the back of the couch, holding his sandwich, "And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot." Joey flirted.
"Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!" Monica snapped.
"What, like there's a rule or something?" Joey pointed out.
I rolled my eyes as I took another bite of my sandwich, Chandler knows me so well, this is like the perfect sandwich. All of a sudden, the door buzzer sounds, causing Chandler to sigh but answer it anyways.
"Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound." Chandler told whoever buzzed the door, causing me to laugh.
"Uh, it's, uh, it's Paul." A guy said through the buzzer.
"Buzz him in!" Monica said a little too quickly.
"Who's Paul?" Joey asked.
"Paul the wine guy, Paul?" Ross asked Monica.
Monica hesitated before answering, "maybe."
"Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the wine guy?" Joey questioned.
"He finally asked you out?" I exclaimed happily for my friend.
"Yes!" Monica confirmed.
"Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment." Chandler added causing me to hit his shoulder playfully.
Monica then realized what Rachel was going through, "Rach, wait, I can cancel..."
Please, no, go, that'd be fine!" Rachel encouraged.
"Are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?" Monica asked Ross knowing what he was going through.
Ross looked sad, "That'd be good..."
"Really?!" Monica asked horrified.
"No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!" Ross encouraged.
"Hi, come in! Paul, this is..." Monica starts but sees that we're all lined up, "...everybody, everybody, this is Paul." Monica introduced as everyone greeted him
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?" Chandler asked sarcastically.
Monica let Paul in, "give me two seconds." She said as headed towards her room.
"Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good." Phoebe told us.
"So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?" Ross asked Rachel awkwardly.
Rachel laughed slightly, "well, I was kinda supposed to beheaded for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!"
"Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God..." Ross was reminded of Carol, "No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year talk about your-" Ross paused to think, "-big lizards, Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey, Chandler, and Ella are coming over to help me out together my new furniture." Ross offered.
"Yes, and we're very excited about it." Chandler said sarcastically."
"Yeah, it's like giant legos except the instructions have words." I added.
"Well actually thanks, but I think I'm gonna hang out here tonight.." Rachel continued her conversation with Ross, as she walked toward the couch
"Okay, sure." Ross said understandably.
"Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?" Joey offered.
"Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to." Phoebe confessed.
"Understandable, Pheebs." I smiled at her, "So, are the three strong men ready to build furniture?"
They answered with 'Yeah' and 'I guess'. We all made our way out the front door.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
WE MADE IT to Ross's apartment and I had just finished building a nightstand, Chandler and Joey were building some bookshelf looking thing, and Ross was building... something.
"I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no worm guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs." Ross said in a weird squatting position.
"Ross, give me that." I said as I took the instructions from him, I look at all the pieces in-front of me, and what do you know? The brackety things and the worm guys are RIGHT there.
"What's this?" I overhear Joey ask Chandler.
"I have no idea." Chandler replies back.
Joey then checks to see if nobody is looking and shoved the piece into a plant pot. "Done with the bookcase!" Joey shouts.
"All done." Chandler adds, I roll my eyes knowing I'll have to fix the bookshelf later. Ross had gone to the fridge to get a beer.
I decided to take a break and saw Ross look sadly at his beer can.
"This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the van, I should have known." Ross said as he opened the can of beer.
"Ross, I drink beer out of the can too, just because you do that doesn't make you a lesbian." I explain as Ross looked up at me.
"Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get?" Joey asked.
We all looked at Ross for an answer, "You guys." Ross revealed.
We were all in shock, "Oh, God. Oh, my God." Chandler freaked.
"You got screwed." Joey told Ross.
"So, she just kept all the good stuff?" Chandler asked.
"Yeah, I guess." Ross answered.
"Jesus. I mean, if I was married and figured out I was lesbian, I wouldn't just leave my ex-husband with nothing. I'd give him some of the good stuff." I told them.
"I- she's just selfish. Or you're to nice." I told Ross.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
"YOU KNOW WHAT the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean whist if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her." Ross thought out-loud.
"What are you talking about? 'One woman'?" Joey said from the kitchen holding two beers, "That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you."
Joey handed me and Chandler a beer, "lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there.
There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla."
"You could get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!" Joey finished his speech.
"I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny." Ross told us.
"Stay out of my freezer." Chandler said as he walked away, I died of laughter as I was putting together the piece of furniture Ross was trying to earlier.
Chandler sat next to me on the ground, and watched me laugh as I finished building the piece of furniture.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
"GRAB A SPOON." Ross said bitterly, "Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon?" Ross asked.
"10 years, with your last boyfriend. That was the last time you grabbed a spoon." I joked causing Chandler to cackle and Ross to glare at me. "Sorry, I saw an opportunity and I took it." I apologized.
Anyway, Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you? Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to you know, to-to ask a woman out... who am I gonna ask?" Ross said sadly as he gazed out the window.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
THE NEXT DAY, I walk out of my bedroom and see Joey and Chandler sitting at the table, with Rachel making something behind them.
"Good morning, everyone." I say as I take a seat looking in my bag, checking to make sure I have everything need for work.
They all replied with a 'Good morning' back. "Ella, would you like a cup of coffee?" Rachel asked.
"Sure, thank you." I said as I put my bag down and watched Chandler play with a spoon.
"Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life." Rachel says excitedly as she handed us our cups.
Cue sarcastic Chandler, "that is amazing."
"Congratulations. And while you're on a roll, if you feel like you've gotta make like a western omelette..." Joey said before we all took a sip of the coffee.
The coffee tasted bitter but also like really sugary at the same time, "although actually I'm really not that hungry." Joey said as me, Chandler and him all poured the coffee into Monica's plant.
Then Monica walked out of her room, everyone said either 'morning' or 'good morning'
Following Monica was and uncomfortable looking Paul, "morning." Paul said walking towards the front door.
"Morning Paul." Joey said.
"Hello, Paul." Me and Rachel said.
"Hi, Paul, is it?" Chandler joked once more. I smiled to myself.
Monica and Paul walk to the door and they began to speak to each other in a low voice. Me, Chandler, and Joey moved the table closer to the door to hear what they were saying.
"I had a really great time last night." Monica told Paul.
Paul started to thank Monica for something, "We'll talk later, okay?" Monica continued.
"Yeah." Paul said before Monica and Paul shared a quick kiss, "thank you." He thanked again before leaving.
Monica closed the door and turned to us, "That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?!" Joey asked sarcastically.
"Shut up, and put my table back." Monica demanded.
"Okayyy" we all said as we push the table back to where it was before.
Chandler got up and headed to the counter, "all right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference..." he said in defeat.
"I also have to get to work" I start as I stand up to put my coffee cup in the sink.
"Somebody's gotta tell moody teenagers how play with art supplies." I joke.
"So, like, you guys all have jobs?" Rachel asks us.
Monica laughs, "Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff."
"Yeah, I'm an actor." Joey bragged.
"Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?" Rachel asked in amazement.
"I doubt it. Mostly regional work." Joey explained.
"Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the reruns' production of Pinocchio!" Monica teased.
"Look, Gippetto. I'm a real life boy!" I acted out playfully.
Joey sighed, "I will not take this abuse." He stated as he opened the door to leave the apartment.
"You're right, I'm sorry." I say as I turn to. Chandler knowing what he's planning.
Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..." Chandler sang as he danced out of the door, me and Joey following.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
WE WERE ALL back at Central Perk after work, as we do like everyday. Monica had found out Paul had used a line on her.
"Of course is was a line!" Joey said from his spot on the side of the sofa.
Monica sighed, "Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?"
"I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get into bed'." Ross joked.
"Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?" Monica asked out loud.
"No, Mon. It's just- just that some men, can't see the good in us women, y'know? It's like, what I tell my students when their partner breaks up with them. Your life, is- is one big painting... and this fling, or ex, or whatever it is... is just one dot on that painting." I said as Phoebe started rubbing Monica's feet.
"And that dot... seems like it would be for an important detail, but in reality it's just a small accident that you, the artist, made. But over time you painted over that dot, and when you finally finish the painting. You forgot it was even there." I finished explaining.
Everyone looked at me with awe, "what?" I asked.
"Nothing, that was just a really great explanation." Chandler complimented.
"Well, you wouldn't believe the stories I've heard from high schoolers." I stated as I took a sip form my coffee.
"I just thought he was nice, y'know?" Monica sighed.
Then Joey burst out laughing, "I can't believe you didn't know that it was a line!"
Monica pushed Joey off the sofa as Rachel entered the coffee house, "guess what?" Rachel said happily.
"You got a job?" Ross asked.
Rachel laughed, "are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today."
"And yet you're surprisingly upbeat." Chandler noticed.
"Well you would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!" Rachel showed us.
"Oh, how well you know me." Chandler stated sarcastically.
I chuckled as I took a sip of my coffee, "They're my new 'I don't need a job. I don't need my parents. I've got great boots.' Boots!" Rachel explained.
"How'd you pay for them?" Monica inquired.
"Uh, credit card." Rachel stated as she admired her boots.
"And who pays for that?" I asked.
"Um...my...father." Rachel said barely above a whisper.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
WE WENT BACK up to Monica, Rachel, and I's apartment and had put all of Rachel's credit card on the table. We were trying to convince Rachel to cut the cards.
"C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life." Monica said as she started to get frustrated.
"I know that! That's why I was getting married." Rachel complained.
Phoebe then butted in, "give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time."
"Thank you." Rachel said sympathetically.
"You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windows outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy.
So believe me, I know exactly how you feel." Phoebe explained before she went to the kitchen sink
We all stopped to look at her, "The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'." Ross broke the silence as he took the spot Phoebe sat in moments before.
"You ready?" I ask as I put my hand on Chandler's shoulder.
"I don't think so." Rachel said.
"C'mon cut, cut, cut." Ross encouraged.
"Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut." We all chanted, then she cut them all causing us to cheer.
"Alright! Welcome to the real world. It sucks, you're gonna love it!" Monica said as she hugged Rachel.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
ME, MONICA, ROSS and Rachel were watching a movie, it had just finished.
"Well, that's it." Monica said as she turned to Ross.
"You gonna crash on the couch?" Monica asked Ross.
"No. No, I gotta go home sometime." Ross said depressingly.
"Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor." Rachel asked as Monica started to smile.
"That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it." Monica said as she stood up, "Oh boy. Alright.
Goodnight, everybody." She stomped on Paul's watch as she headed toward her room.
"Well, goodnight guys." I said as I closed my door.
˖ ࣪✦ : ✧･ﾟ˖ ࣪✦ : *✧･
WE ALL SAT in Central Perk as Joey and Monica were arguing. I sat next to Chandler as I was listening to them bicker.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing here." Joey said in a annoyed tone.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing here..." Phoebe sang.
Monica scoffed, "What? I-I said you had a-"
"What I said..." Phoebe began again.
"Would you stop?" Monica snapped.
Phoebe gasped, "Oh, was I doing it again?"
"Yes!" We all sighed.
Then Rachel walked up with a pot of coffee, "would anybody like more coffee?"
Chandler answered her, "Did you make it, or are you just serving it?"
"I'm just serving it." She said.
Then we all held up our coffee cups as Chandler starts telling us about his new dream, "kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minelli."
Come on." I say in defeat as Chandler continues his telling us about his weird dream.