We kiss for a whole 2 minutes before Tara pulls away, out of breath. "fuck, Amber" She huffs out, looking down but smiling. Then she looks up at me - still smiling. "What happened to 'I need to process everything', hm?" she asked giggling a bit right after. "Well, i've processed it already i guess" I said sarcastically, shrugging. "So do you wanna...?" Tara asks, and I can tell what she's trying to ask. "Not tonight, let's just chill out, kay?" I tell Tara, hoping she won't feel bad for asking. "Ok! Cmon" She said as she dragged me back to the couch. I'm glad she didn't feel bad about asking.
We sit on the couch as "My First Summer" continues to play, and Tara lays her head onto my lap, like earlier. Words can never explain the amount of love I feel for her. I play with her hair, braiding it then taking the braid out, and mostly just running my fingers through it. all the sudden Tara and I's phones start blowing up with texts. We pick our phones up and everyone had texted the group about me.
TW SELF HARM
Mindy: "OMG AMBER UR AWAKE?! OMG OMG"
Chad: "Brooo that's so amazing you survived!"
Liv: "OH MY GODDD AMBERRRRR!! WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"
Wes: "Uh congrats on waking up ig"
I laugh at these texts for a second. "How did they find out I was awake?" I ask Tara, thinking she told them. "I told them you were awake when I was getting popcorn" She tells me "Ahhh, ok" I reply.
Amber: "Lmao, hey guys!"
I text before taking a selfie of me and Tara and sending it.
Mindy: "Awww, see Tara? I told you she wouldn't leave you"
Tara: "Oh, whatever Mindy"
Wes: "Still dating, i see. You know, after Tara left you for someone she had only known for two months. But i guess you guys are just that desperate"
Once Tara had read the text she got up from my lap and slid a little bit farther down the couch, but still in arms length. I look at her for a second then back to Wes' text. I lean in a little closer to Tara so I was able to slide her back over to me. I brought my hand behind her back and grabbed her waist and gently but quickly pulled her back over to me. I looked at her but she wasn't looking at me. I let go of her waist and began to type.
Amber: "Maybe I am desperate, maybe i'm not. But at least I treat Tara right and I don't hurt her like you did. Just because I was able to date Tara without having to force her into things doesn't mean you can be a jealous bitch about it. Oh, and fyi, I'm a better kisser."
Wes: "I didn't hurt her or force her into things! You just took Tara away from me because of your stupid trap. And btw, if we ask Tara who a better kisser was right now she would say me."
Tara: "Actually you did just that. And Amber didn't 'steal me' She just treats me way better than you do, she's wayyy more lovable, I literally like women AND she is a better kisser than you. So you, frosty the fucking snowman, can go suck my dick."
Mindy: "Ooo pop off girlies!! But in all seriousness Wes you don't stand a chance trying to argue with TARA and AMBER. I'd just give up"
Wes: "I'm only arguing with Amber. Oh and I bet that Tara hasn't told you about what she does to herself. She probably doesn't trust you enough, but she told me because she obviously trusts me more since she told me about it."
Tara: "Oh come on, Wes. Seriously?! She wasn't supposed to know."
Wes: "Well too fucking bad."
Mindy: "Omg Wes, really? You fucking suck."
I re read Wes' and Taras text. Oh my god, if it's what I think it is.. "Tara?" I ask looking to her, concerned. She looks away from me and again slides down the couch away from me. "What is he talking about..?" I ask in a soft voice. "it's nothing, amber." She said quickly and quietly. "Tara, you can trust me with anything, you know that right?" I tell Tara, getting no response. "Look at me" I say softly. She turns her head towards me but she looking down. I hold her face and she looks at me in my eyes. I watch as her eyes fill with tears. I get closer and hug her and I feel her arms wrap around me.
"I'm so sorry.." Tara tells me while still crying. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Tare." I softly tell her. She pulls herself off of me but i could tell she was still crying. I took the bottom of my shirt and used it to wipe off her running mascara. "Listen, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to, I would just appreciate it if you did, okay?" I said to Tara as she looks down, sniffling.
She grabs the bottom of her long sleeve shirt and slowly pulls it up, But i don't look just in case she hadn't wanted me to look yet. She does the same with her other sleeve. she looks up at me then back to her arms. I'm guessing its a gesture to say I can look now. I look at her arms, revealing white, purple and red marks. I gently hold her left arm and glide my thumb above the scars and cuts. Tara hisses a little when I go over a newer cut. "sorry" I say quietly. I pull her arm up a little closer to my face so I can see it better because the only light I have was the kitchen light and the tv light. I try not to freak out about her doing this to herself but i kind of am. I remember when I went to the arcade with eliz - right before me and Tara started dating for the first time.
"How long have you been doing this..?" I ask her. "Remember that week we didn't talk because i picked Wes over you? I started two days after you left." She told me, looking down. Jesus, almost 2 months. I remember when I pulled her out of the arcade to talk.
* flashback **************************************
"I'm trying to enjoy my fucking life— Eliz can you give us a sec?" Amber said and she grabs my wrist. "Ow, Amber. That hurts!" I tell her as she practically drags me away, her nails digging into my skin - into my cuts. "Yeah, well, it hurt when you picked Wes over me so deal with it." She tells me.
—————
"I-i'm sorry.." Tara said, trying to leave. "Tara, wait" I said, grabbing Taras arm. "Ow.." Tara winces
*************************************************
Oh my god, how was I so oblivious? I look to where i grabbed her wrist and then where I grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry I.. yk.. grabbed you, i didn't know you were doing that.." I tell her looking into her eyes
our phones go off but we don't check them.
"Its fine i didn't expect you to know." She tells me. "If you don't mind me asking.. why did you start?" I ask her. "Well... it's because.." Tara said, trying really hard to hold back her tears. "I couldn't handle the thought of loosing you so I took it out on myself.. and the same thing happened when you went into your coma sorta thing..." Tara told me as our phones blow up from the group chats texts. So it's my fault she's been doing this. I look at her arms again and realize how new most of the cuts are. I gently let go of her arms and grab her hand - careful not to hurt her. I stand up "Come on" I tell her. We get up and I bring her to the bathroom.
"What did you use?" I asked her. "An old sharpener blade." She told me looking away. "I know this won't feel the best but i'm going to wipe your cuts with cold water." I tell Tara and she glared at me. "Why?" Tara asked me. "I don't want them to get infected or anything. I love you too much for you to end up in a hospital." I tell Tara. "ok.." She replied. "How do you wanna do this? Wanna put a cloth with cold water on it or do you want to run your arm under the water?" I ask her. "Hmm cloth i guess" Tara answered. I run my softest cloth under the water then gently lay it onto her wrist. I hear her take a quick breath in then slowly out. I put my hands onto the cloth and press it down a little. "ow ow ow" Tara winced. I attack her with kisses on her cheek to hopefully make her feel a little better. She smiled at my kisses.
"Can you turn your arm over?" I asked Tara, and she flipped her arm over. I lay the cloth on her arm again. This happens about 16 times until i finished washing up both of her arms. "Your pretty tough" I tell Tara with a smile. "Amber, i'm not 8 i don't need to be told i'm tough" Tara said laughing. "Well your still tough, 8 years old or not" I said. I kiss her then grab her hand as we leave the bathroom. on the way back to the couch tara stops. "Hey, thanks for being so chill about it. And thanks for helping." Tara tells me with a smile. "No problem! Oh, let me go get you a short sleeve shirt so your sleeves don't rub on you." I said. We both head upstairs to my room and I find a shirt for her. I give it to her and I can't help but look as she takes her shirt off. Right before she puts the other shirt on i walk up to her and hold her waist.
"You're so beautiful" I told Tara, then i kissed her. I can feel her smile while we kiss. I stopped kissing her and started kissing her jawline. "Mmn amber.." She moaned. I laugh and stop kissing her jawline. "You're right, It is kinda hot when someone's moaning your name. Do it more often" I tell her and she laughs "Only on one condition" She tells me "And what would that be?" I ask. "Only if you keep kissing me" Tara said smiling "Deal." I said, and I continue to kiss her jawline. I go farther down and start kissing nd sucking on her neck. "oh, amber" Tara moaned and I smile against her neck. While i'm still kissing and sucking on her i slowly start to walk to the bed. I stop kissing her and lie her on the bed, and I get above her. I sadly had to let go of her waist, though. I continue to leave my lipstick on her neck as she grabs my shoulders nd starts breathing a little heavier. "mmm" Tara let out softly.
Hearing her moan Is music to my ears. I slide down and start kissing and sucking on her stomach. "ngh, amber" Tara moaned. I wish I could record her moaning my name and just repeat it every second of my life. After covering her stomach in my lipstick i kiss her on her neck one last time then I get off of her, laying next to Tara. "Your turn" Tara tells me. "Woah woah woah now I-" I try to say but tara cuts me of by kissing me. after like 20 seconds of her kissing me she stops, smiles, then starts kissing my jawline. I hold her waist as she prints her natural pink colored lipstick onto my jawline. I'm not as sensitive as Tara so I didn't moan while she kissed my jawline and Tara noticed. She stops, glares at me and then starts kissing and sucking on my neck. And holy shit did that feel good.
"fuck, tara" I moan, and i feel my hands getting tense around her waist. I try not to hurt her, but fuck she feels so good on my neck. Her soft lips moving along my neck, her legs beside mine, her chest on top of mine and her breath on my neck.. god shes so hot. Then Tara hits a sensitive spot on my neck. "T-Tara! Mmmn" I yelp. "Did I find a sensitive spot? hm, I think i'll use that to my advantage" Tara said laughing a little after. She goes back to the sensitive spot and continues sucking and kissing it. My hands squeeze her waist roughly as she takes complete advantage over my sensitive spot. "T-T-Tara.." I tried to say. Tara laugh then stops abusing my sensitive spot. She starts to kiss and suck on my stomach.
I run my fingers through her hair while she covers my stomach in her lipstick. After a couple of minutes tara stops. "oh my lord, my lips are so sore" Tara said an we both laugh. "I'll go grab our phones and shut the TV off. Be right back" I tell Tara. I grab our phones and shut the TV off, then I head back upstairs. "Here ya go" I tell Tara as I hand her phone to her. I lay next the her and open the group chat.
Wes: I bet you 10 dollars she hasn't told Amber yet.
Mindy: Shut the fuck up I don't want ten dollars. And what is wrong with you?? No wonder Tara broke up with you.
Wes: I was just saying! Either way they aren't good for each other. Amber has left Tara, Tara has left Amber like twice now! They have such a bad relationship.
Mindy: Wrong. but anyway. Speaking of Tara And Amber, neither of them has checked their phones.
Wes: And?
Mindy: Yo Tara, Amber, y'all alive?
Liv: Guyssss? Taraaaa Amberrrrr
Chad: TARA? AMBERRR?
Mindy: @tarathecapybara @thecolorofmyenergyisamber Y'all there?? *9:43*
Amber: We're alive dw *10:13*
Mindy: Why weren't you two responding??
I look over at Tara whose head was resting on my shoulder. I convince her to take a picture with me.
Amber: *tap to see photo 🔎*
Mindy: OH MY LORD. THE SMUDGED LIPSTICK?! EACH OTHERS LIPSTICK ON EACH OTHERS NECKS?? OH MY YOU TWO.
Tara: What can I say, we had lots of fun 🤷♀️
Amber: Lotsss of fun ;)
Mindy: Damnnn
Wes: Not even gonna lie, Amber might be a better kisser but i'm a better pleaser.
Mindy: 💀
Tara: Your dick looks like a shrimp, don't even.
Amber: Tbh though, nobody - and i mean NOBODY could beat how well Tara does it 😋
Wes: 🙄🙄
Tara: 🥇🏆🎖️
Mindy: are you guys just speaking in emojis now?
Amber: Anyways, goodnight yall i'm getting off text.
Tara: same
all except tara: goodnight you two!
Tara and I both turn our phones off and set them on the side table. "Goodnight my love" I said kissing Tara on the cheek. "Goodnight Ambs" Tara replied, tired. She turned to me and wrapped her arms around me and set her leg on top of mine then rested her head on my chest. I run my fingers through her hair until I fall asleep.