Wow...this is my fortieth Kurapika x Reader story! Thank you to all who take the time to read my stories! You give me the motivation to continue writing. I appreciate all of you.
Warning: Heavy angst
I shut my eyes as soon as I open them. The sunlight shining through the window exacerbates my throbbing headache. I groan as I pull the covers over my head. I sprawl out on my bed, feeling someone else sleeping next to me. I turn to my side and notice my best friend sleeping soundly.
What is he doing in my bed? The suite we booked has enough bedrooms for the four of us.
Killua stomps into my room making more noise than necessary.
"Why are you two still sleeping?" Killua says.
I slowly sit up in bed, rubbing my temples. "Uh...good morning...what happened last night?"
He gives me a puzzled look. "Wait...you don't remember?"
I shake my head. "I'm afraid I don't."
Leorio groans as he stirs awake. "Why are you two talking so loudly?"
Killua grabs a pillow and throws it at Leorio.
"Ow...what the hell was that for?" Leorio says.
Killua crosses his arms over his chest. "You two need to get out of bed. Isn't today your big day, old man?"
Leorio jolts out of bed. "Damn...you're right! What time is it?" He looks at his surroundings. "And why am I in Kurapika's room?"
Killua gives us a devilish smile. "Do you two remember anything from last night?"
Leorio and I shake our heads in unison. "Uh-uh," we say.
He holds his abdomen while laughing. "Today is going to be fun."
Leorio stumbles his way to the door. "I don't have time for your games, Killua. First things first, I gotta get rid of this hangover. I feel like shit."
I press my palm against my forehead. The room spins around me. "You and I both," I say.
"Stay put...I'll be right back with some medicine," Leorio says as he leaves.
Killua follows him out of my room. I fall back on the bed. I'm never drinking again.
My mind wanders while I wait for Leorio to return. It's been six months since I've seen you. They say time heals all wounds...but I can't help but think about the way you left me. You blamed me for what happened. Maybe you're right. Maybe I was at fault. But...did I deserve to lose you...forever? My heart starts to ache. I wipe away tears I didn't know were forming with the back of my hand.
We were supposed to attend Leorio's wedding as a couple; however, you broke up with me shortly after we received our wedding invitation. Leorio offered to rescind your invitation, but I told him that wouldn't be fair to you. Afterall, you are the bride's best friend and her maid of honor. We met through her and Leorio.
Leorio walks back into the room attached to an IV pole. A bag of fluids hangs from it.
I furrow my brow. "Where did you get that?" I say.
"I'm marrying a pharmacist, remember? Don't worry. I got one for you."
I watch as he opens a few medical supplies. My eyes widen when I see him holding a large needle.
"What do you plan on doing with that?" I say.
He grabs my arm. "I gotta start an IV on you. How else are you going to get these fluids?"
I pull my arm away. "Uh...no, thank you. I'll just take a couple of ibuprofen with a glass of water."
He waves his hand in front of me. "Don't be ridiculous. You're my best man. I need you to feel your best."
He grabs my arm again and wraps a tourniquet around my deltoid.
"Leorio!" I look away. It's not that I don't trust him...it's just... "Ow!"
He unties the tourniquet and tapes down my new IV. "Would ya stop being a baby? I got an eighteen gauge on the first try!" He attaches me to the bag of fluids.
I must admit...I'm pretty amazed. I'm starting to feel better already. "Thank you, Leorio."
"Don't mention it." He points to the door behind him with his thumb. "Now let's go order us some breakfast."
___
Later that morning, I help Leorio write his vows.
He runs his hand down his face in frustration. "Why does this have to be so damn hard?"
"Well...you did decide on waiting until the last minute," I say.
He starts to write something down. "Hmm...when the nights get colder, and the rhythms got you falling behind. Just dream about that moment when you look yourself right in the eye..."
I hold my hand up. "No. Those are lyrics from a song. Not wedding vows."
He throws his pen. "Forget it. I'll just copy something from the internet."
I shake my head. "No...don't do that. It's easy. Just allow your heart to do the writing."
He throws himself back in his chair. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Well...you love her, correct?"
He gets in my face, clenching his jaw. "I'm marrying her in less than eight hours...I really hope so, Kurapika!"
I close my eyes and allow him to take his frustration out on me. Afterall, I am his best man.
"Sit back down," I calmly say.
He plops back down on his chair, mumbling words I can't comprehend.
I take a deep breath. A vision of you appears in my head. "You can say something like, the world around us fades to the background when I am with you. Your existence makes this planet worth living in. Tough times are inevitable; however, I know having you by my side will make all my worries disappear. I promise to be your guiding hand. Your dreams are mine..."
Leorio gets up, frantically searching for the pen he threw. "Why aren't we writing this down?"
I raise my eyebrows. "Uh...uh...that was just an example. You need to use your own words."
He sits down and begins to write. "Yeah...yeah," he says, waving me off with his free hand. "Now...repeat what you just said."
I give in and allow Leorio to use the vows I just came up with.
Leorio stands up and stretches. "Glad I got that outta the way," he says. He massages his lower back. "Damn...why has my back been hurting?"
I can hear Gon and Killua laughing in the background.
"Anyway," Leorio says. "You guys wanna go to the beach? I'm thinking about getting a tan before the wedding."
Gon and Killua run off to change into their swimming trunks.
I shake my head. "No, thank you. I'm still feeling a little queasy."
Leorio shrugs his shoulders. "Suit yourself." He pulls his shirt off, flexing his muscles in front of the mirror. He turns around to look at his back. "What the hell..."
Our eyes widen.
Leorio rubs his lower back. "It's not coming off!" Sweat drops form on his forehead.
Gon and Killua walk back into the room.
"Of course it's not coming off, you idiot," Killua says. "It's a tattoo."
Leorio stares at Killua as if he's speaking a foreign language. "A what?"
"A tattoo. You and Kurapika insisted on getting them last night after the two of you left the bar," Killua says.
My heart pounds against my chest. Does this mean I also have a tattoo?
Leorio stares at Gon and Killua, snarling like a velociraptor about to eat its prey. "And you two didn't think to stop us?"
Gon waves his arms in the air. "We tried, but they wouldn't let us in the tattoo shop since we're still minors."
Leorio turns his attention back to his tattoo. He gets as close to the mirror as he can to get a good view of it.
"Dammit...she's never going to marry me now...I have a tramp stamp!" Leorio says.
I feel the sweat drops roll off my forehead as I stare at Leorio's tattoo. My name is written in an elaborate design on his lower back. I'm afraid to look at mine.
Killua crosses his arms behind his neck. "Just don't show her. By the time she sees it, it'll be too late to back out."
"Err...I guess you're right." Leorio turns to face me. "Let's see yours, Kurapika."
Heat rises to my cheeks. "I...uh..." I stand up and walk to the mirror next to Leorio. I turn around so my back is facing the mirror. I close my eyes. "You look."
Leorio grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls it up. "Bastard!"
I open my eyes. "Huh?"
He slaps my bare skin. "You chickened out, didn't you?"
I rub my lower back until it no longer stings. I turn my head over my shoulder to see what he's talking about. I sigh a breath of relief. Yes, I have a tattoo. However, it's not as bad as Leorio's. I only have an L. It appears I didn't go through with having his entire name tattooed on me.
Leorio points his finger in my face. "Don't think you got out of this...when I get back from my honeymoon, we're going back so they can finish your tattoo."
"Uh...how about we just make appointments to get them removed?"
Leorio ignores my question and proceeds to get ready to go to the beach.
___
I must have fallen asleep while they were gone because I wake up to the sound of Leorio, Gon, and Killua arguing as they walk back inside the suite.
I pull the comforter off of me and hop out of bed. I meet them in the entryway.
"Is everything all right?" I say.
Leorio stares at me, breathing deeply. "No. These little shits didn't have the decency of taking my sunglasses off when I fell asleep in the sun."
"Hey, it's not our fault! We were surfing," Killua says.
I furrow my brow. "What's the big deal?"
Leorio slowly pulls his glasses off. I have to bite my lower lip to keep myself from laughing. While the rest of his face is tanned, two small circles of paleness glow from the skin around his eyes.
Leorio glares at me. "Is something funny, Kurapika?"
I'm afraid if I open my mouth, I'll laugh. The last thing I want to do is make my best friend feel bad on his wedding day.
I turn my face away from him. "Of course not." I can't hold it in. I burst out in laughter as I make my way back to my room.
Leorio grabs me before I make it in. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and rubs his knuckles against my scalp. It only makes me laugh harder.
"You're lucky you're my best man; otherwise, I'd give you a black eye," Leorio says.
Leorio finally frees me. "Guys, seriously," he says. "I can't get married looking like this." He runs to the mirror. "A damn tattoo...now this?"
After we stop laughing, Gon, Killua, and I try to come up with ideas.
I place my chin in between my thumb and index finger. "Hmm...we just need something that will change the color around your eyes."
"A marker!" Gon shouts.
Killua slaps his friend behind his head. "You all are idiots. They sell stuff for that. Girls wear it all the time."
The corners of Leorio's lips move upward into a big smile. "Right...you have a sister. Do you think she has any of that stuff?"
"Nah...she doesn't wear makeup," Killua says. "Besides...she's helping your future ball and chain get ready."
Leorio pulls Killua close to him. "I got a mission for you."
"Forget it," Killua says, freeing himself from Leorio's grip. "I'm not about to get in the middle of a bunch of girls getting ready for a wedding. I'd rather have my brother stick needles in my eyes."
Leorio pouts like a toddler. "Please...I'm desperate." He clasps his hands together.
Killua glances at him. He lets out a sigh. "Fine. But you owe me." He turns to face Gon. "C'mon, Gon. You have to endure this torture with me."
___
Leorio and I start to get ready while we wait for Gon and Killua to come back. They return in less than an hour.
"Wow, that was fast," Leorio says, buttoning his dress shirt.
"Yeah...yeah," Killua says. He drops a tube of makeup in Leorio's hand.
Leorio closes his hand around it. "Hey...did you see my bride? I bet she looks gorgeous."
A look of puzzlement crosses Killua's face. "Huh? Why would I check her out? Anyway...she wasn't even there."
Beads of perspiration appear on Leorio's forehead. "What? She wasn't there?" He grabs a handkerchief and begins to wipe away the sweat. "She's backing out, isn't she?" He paces the room.
I run to Leorio and grab his shoulders. "Hey, calm down. She'd never back out on her wedding."
Leorio looks at me with worry in his eyes. "You heard Killua. She wasn't even there. She probably snuck out of the bathroom window."
"You're being ridiculous," I say. "I remember the look in her eyes when you asked her to marry you. Trust me, she's probably counting down the minutes until she walks down the aisle."
Leorio falls into one of the chairs. "Are you sure? Maybe you should call the maid of honor just to be sure."
My heart sinks to my stomach. "I...I can't."
"Why not?" Leorio says. "You're my best man...please...I need your help."
"(Y/N) is the maid of honor."
Leorio slaps himself. "Dammit...I'm sorry, Kurapika."
"No need to apologize. You're under a lot of stress." I raise my index finger. "I have an idea! I'll call Melody. I'm sure she'll know something."
Leorio wraps his arms around my waist. "Thank you. Hurry up and call."
"Uh...you need to let go of me first."
He pulls away so I can grab my phone from my pocket.
I offer Leorio a smile when I end my call with Melody.
"Everything is fine. She didn't sneak out of the bathroom window," I say.
He jumps out of the chair. "So...she still wants to marry me?"
I nod.
He picks me up and spins me around. "I'm the happiest man on the planet!" He sets me back down and checks the time. "Less than two hours to go."
Leorio and his fiancee decided on a sunset wedding. I remember you thought that sounded romantic.
Leorio stares at the tube of makeup in his hand. "Umm...do any of you know how to put this stuff on?"
We all give him blank stares.
He inspects the tube as he opens it. A small sponge is attached to the end.
"I guess the stuff comes out of here," Leorio says. He hands it to me. "Kurapika, mind putting it on me?"
"Uh...sure," I say.
Leorio sits back down. I press the tube next to his eye, squeezing the makeup out. I squeeze a little too hard.
"Dammit, Kurapika! You got it in my eye." Leorio gets up and runs to the bathroom with his eyes closed. He bumps into the doorframe. Blood starts pouring out of his nose. I immediately run to him.
"I'm so sorry, Leorio. I'm the worst best man ever." I grab a stack of washcloths and wipe the blood before it stains his shirt.
He takes the washcloth and holds it under his nose. "Are you kidding me? I couldn't ask for a better one."
I smile.
I watch a few Youtube videos and manage to match the color around his eyes with the rest of his skin. I must say, I'm a little impressed with how it turned out.
The limo waits for us downstairs. I notice Leorio's hands trembling on our way to our destination. I place my hand on his.
"Everything is going to be okay," I say with a smile.
He looks at me. "Are you sure she's coming?"
I can't help but let out a laugh. "Of course."
"What if I fuck up the vows?" Leorio says.
"Then...you fuck up the vows. She'll still say, 'I do,'" I say.
He smiles.
Once we arrive at the venue, Leorio and I take our places at the altar on the beach. The only thing left for us to do now is wait.
The music starts to play just as the sun begins to set. Gon and Killua walk down the aisle and take their places next to me. They are followed by Alluka and Melody. Then...I see you. As hard as I try, I can't seem to take my eyes off you. Is it wrong for me to think you look prettier than the bride? Your coral-colored strapless dress flows as the ocean wind blows through you. You smile as you take your place at the altar, only a few feet from me. You don't look my way. Not once.
Tears fall from Leorio's cheeks as he watches his bride walk down the aisle. She's wearing a big smile on her face as she approaches him.
I must admit...watching my best friend marry the love of his life pulls at my heartstrings. If I'm lucky, maybe one day I'll get to experience my own magical moment. A moment that vanished when you gave me back my ring.
The sun finally sets.
"I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Paradinight!" the officiant says.
Leorio is officially married. I look back at Gon and Killua. They clap as Leorio runs away with his new wife.
___
I watch as couples dance at the reception.
"Kurapika, would you like to dance?" says Melody.
She must have noticed the lonely look on my face.
"Uh...sure," I say.
I look around for you as Melody and I dance.
She looks up at me. "Are you looking for (Y/N)?"
I jump back. "How do you know?"
Melody smiles. I forgot...she can read emotions. I want to ask her if you still have feelings for me, but I'm afraid to hear the answer. What if you don't? Hell...what if you found someone new? Don't get me wrong...I want you to be happy...but..."
"She still loves you," Melody interrupts my thoughts.
My heart rate increases. "She...she does?"
The song ends. Melody releases me and walks away, leaving me alone on the dance floor.
"Hello, Kurapika."
I turn around. There you are...looking like a goddess.
I suddenly forget how to breathe. "(Y/N)?"
You wrap your arms around my shoulders. Your touch awakens my heart, reminding it of my love for you. Love that was forced to hide away in the depths of my soul. I can see how a broken heart makes a person appear soulless. It's not that we lack feeling. It's just that we expend all of our energy on living with the pain. Of everything you could have broken, why did you choose my heart? The one thing that can't be repaired.
I rest my hands on the small of your back as we begin to slowly dance.
We don't say a word. Instead of trying to interpret your actions, I savor these few minutes with you.
You break away from me before the song ends. I watch as you turn around and walk away.
___
We all wave to the newlyweds as they climb into the limo. Once they leave, I turn around to face Gon and Killua.
"I think I'm going to head back home now," I say.
Gon furrows his brow. "But...why? We have the suite for a few more nights."
"I know. I just..."
Gon smiles at someone behind me. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around. There you are...again. Why is the universe filling my heart with false hope?
"Going home so soon?" you say.
I nod.
You tilt your head to the side.
Gon and Killua walk away, giving us privacy.
"Do you want to go to my hotel room?" you say.
Am I hearing you correctly? I rub my ears to make sure. "What did you ask me?"
You grab my hand. "Come to my room. I owe you an apology."
___
I follow you into your hotel room. I take off my shoes at the entryway. I suppress the urge to wrap my arms around you. You seem to have grown more beautiful within these past six months.
I swallow hard when I see you hang the do not disturb sign outside the doorknob. You grab my hand and lead me to the bed in the middle of the room.
I sit down on the bed. "Why did you invite me here?"
You comb your hair to the front, exposing your neck. "Do you mind unzipping my dress? I want to slip into something a little more comfortable." You ignore my question.
"Uh...sure."
I take my time unzipping your dress. I have to force myself from touching your bare skin. I remember its softness.
I suddenly feel warm. I pull off my suit jacket while you go to the bathroom to change.
You emerge from the bathroom wearing a familiar slip dress. I open the space between us as you sit back down on the bed. I'm afraid to be too close to you.
You reach out and place your hand on top of mine.
"Kurapika, I've been thinking about this wedding...I knew I'd see you. I even considered not going. I just couldn't skip out since I was asked to be the maid of honor."
I place my free hand over yours. "Wait...you didn't want to see me?"
You look away. "It's not that...it's just that I was afraid my feelings for you would return."
"And...have they?"
You lock your eyes with mine. I don't know who made the first move, but our lips meet. You don't need to answer my question...your kiss tells me everything.
You lay back, pulling me on top of you. I reach under the hem of your slip. I stop myself once I reach your waist. I break our kiss, breathing heavily.
"(Y/N)...are you sure you want...to do this?"
You nod.
You reach up and start to unbutton my shirt. You sit up and begin to kiss my neck. I let out a moan when you find my sweet spot.
The scent of your shampoo fills my nose when you move to the other side. You loosen my belt, freeing me from my pants.
"(Y/N)...no," I say as you stroke me.
It's not that I want you to stop...Kami, no...I'm just afraid I'll finish before I have the chance to pleasure you. You're more important than me. You always have been.
I move your hand away. I pull down the straps to your slip. You lay back down on the bed, allowing me to peel the fabric off of your skin. I kiss my way down your body. I pass your navel, wincing when I see the horizontal scar on your lower abdomen.
You lift your head. "Is everything okay?" you say.
"Uh...of course," I lie to you. The truth is, that scar reminds me of what happened six months ago. I take a deep breath, pushing the memory from my conscious mind. It's a technique I've perfected.
I position myself on top of you. You kiss me with desperation, moaning against my lips as I slide into you. Damn...I forgot how good you feel. It's no wonder we were never able to keep our hands off each other when we were together. I smile to myself when I remember the time we almost got caught in the dressing room at a fancy department store.
"Oh...Kurapika!"
Your moans get louder as I continue to thrust myself in and out of you. I pause to position your legs over my shoulders. I remember this used to be your favorite position. You told me I was able to hit your erogenous zone every time from this position.
I plunge myself deeper inside. I feel your walls contract around me, massaging my most sensitive area. I thrust harder as pleasure builds.
You grip my shoulders as you shudder beneath me. You once told me you did that to keep yourself from floating away. Do I still make you feel that way? I certainly hope so.
This is the part where my mind goes blank. My body tenses before releasing a massive amount of pleasure. The sensation only lasts for a few seconds, but it's the most incredible feeling I've ever experienced.
I collapse on top of you. I kiss your neck as I recover. I stop. Are you...crying?
"(Y/N)? Is something wrong?" I kiss your eyelids.
You don't answer. A tinge of guilt forms in my stomach. Was this a mistake?
"I think...this was a mistake," you say, reading my mind.
I crawl off of you. I climb off the bed to find my clothes.
You sit up, wrapping a sheet around you. "When did you get a tattoo?"
I cover my lower back with my arm. Heat rises to my cheeks. "I...uh...it was a drunken mistake. I plan on getting it removed." I quickly get dressed.
You put your slip back on. I need to know what you're thinking. I sit down at the edge of the bed. I take your foot into my hands and begin to massage it.
"(Y/N), do you want to talk?"
You pull your foot away and hop off the bed. You walk towards the door.
I stand and walk toward you. "(Y/N)?"
You turn around.
My heart breaks as I watch the tears stream down your face.
"Kurapika, I shouldn't have invited you here."
I reach out to you, but you pull away. "(Y/N), please. I still love you. Don't make me start missing you all over again."
You stare at me with judgment in your eyes. "Did you forget what you did?"
"Of course not. Just...do we have to bring it up right now?"
"Don't you care? If it weren't for you, I'd be holding my twin babies right now."
Why did you have to say that? I cover my eyes with my hand. My knees weaken so I lean up against the wall.
"You're such a coward, Kurapika. Why don't you own up to your mistakes?"
Anger fills my veins as I stand up. "Let me get this straight...you invite me here....make love to me...then continue to blame me for what happened? They were my babies, too, (Y/N)."
You stomp your foot. "Then why didn't you protect us like you promised?"
You force the memories to resurface.
You force the memories to resurface.
You closed my laptop and sat on my lap. "You've been on this thing for too long. I miss you," you said.
I couldn't help but smile. "You're right. I should be spending as much time with you as I can. Our lives are about to change forever."
You held your abdomen. "Yep. Just ten more weeks to go."
I reached down to kiss your beautiful baby belly. "You're amazing. Do you know that? You're carrying not one, but two babies." I placed my hands over yours.
The babies reacted to my voice by kicking us. You laughed. Your laugh...it had the ability to change my mood in an instant. If I had a terrible day at work or if my mission wasn't going according to plan, I knew all I had to do was make you laugh when I returned home.
You kissed my lips. "What were you working on?"
It made me happy to know you truly cared about my work.
"I think I know where another pair of scarlet eyes are located," I said.
A look of disappointment spread across your face. "But...Kurapika...we talked about this. You promised...no more dangerous missions. You can't leave me alone."
"Exactly. That's why I'm taking you with me." I opened my laptop. "I think you'll like this place." I showed you pictures of the beautiful city I planned on taking you to. Art deco style buildings lined the streets.
Your eyes widened. "Wow! This place looks amazing. But do you think it's safe for me to get on an airship?"
I combed my fingers through your hair. "I asked the doctor during our last appointment. He said it was fine."
You gently punched my shoulder. "You're so sneaky. When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow."
You looked back at my screen. Your smile faded. "And...you're sure we'll be safe?"
I held your face in my hands. "I promise...as long as you're with me, you and our babies will be safe." I picked up your left hand, showing you the ring I gave you. "And while we're there...I figured we could go ahead and tie the knot."
Your face brightened. "Oh, Kurapika! Are you serious?"
I nodded.
You climbed off of me and wobbled to the door. "I need to go shopping for a dress!" You found your phone and asked Alluka to accompany you.
We safely landed at our destination the next day. We rode a cab to our hotel. You looked out the window the entire time, taking in the beauty of this old city.
I smiled as I finally realized my purpose in life. It was to make you happy.
I helped you climb out of the car once we arrived at our hotel. I took our bags out of the trunk and placed them on the ground next to you.
"I have our entire trip planned out. You're going to be pampered while I retrieve my brethren's eyes. This hotel has a spa I think you'll enjoy. Then first thing tomorrow, we'll go to the courthouse and get married. Are you certain you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"
You reach up and kiss me deeply. "I've never been more certain of anything. I love you."
"And I love you, Future Mrs. Kurta."
I picked up our bags and we started to walk toward the building. An eerie silence filled my ears before a flash of light appeared in front of me. After a loud boom, the building came crumbling down.
I summoned my aura as the earth shook beneath me. I turned around to grab you...except...you weren't there.
My heart rate accelerated. "(Y/N)!" I shouted as I ran to look for you.
The sound of other people screaming and sirens wailed in the background. A cloud of dust made it almost impossible to see. I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to clear my vision.
I raised my right hand. "Dowsing Chain." A metal ball fell from my ring finger. It guided me straight to you.
I pulled you out of the rubble. I carried you in my arms, frantically looking for help.
I ran until I found a paramedic. "Please...help my wife."
He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry, sir. We have to take the most injured people first."
"No...please...she's pregnant...with twins."
He must have noticed the desperation in my eyes. "Okay...set her on the stretcher."
I held your hand the entire way to the hospital. Once we arrived, they immediately took you to the operating room. They didn't allow me in. Instead, they shoved a clipboard of paperwork in my face.
I slammed down the clipboard. How the hell was I supposed to focus on filling out paperwork while you were being operated on?
I felt useless. Panic ran through me as I sat on the floor in the waiting room. I pulled my knees close to my chest, rocking back and forth. "Please...don't let anything bad happen to (Y/N) and our babies."
An hour later, a nurse placed her hand on my shoulder. I jumped up.
"Do you know how (Y/N) is doing?" I said.
She shook her head. "We don't know who (Y/N) is. We really need you to fill out the paperwork," she said.
I took the clipboard and filled it out to the best of my knowledge. I wrote your name as (Y/N) Kurta and said we were married. Once I turned them in, I called Leorio. He said he was taking the next airship to meet us.
I sat in a chair with my face buried in my hands. An hour later, two physicians approached me.
"Mr. Kurta?"
I jumped out of my seat. "Yes? How's (Y/N)?"
"Your wife is stable, but she is in critical condition. She lost a lot of blood and is receiving multiple blood transfusions."
"And our babies? How are they?"
He looked at the other physician before looking back at me. My heart pounded against my chest as I waited for an answer.
"Your wife suffered what we call a placental abruption. It's when the placenta detaches from the womb. We had to perform an emergency c-section."
"They're okay, right? I mean..she was close to her due date."
The other physician took a few steps closer to me. I noticed the word neonatologist sewed on her white coat.
"We rushed them to the NICU. We tried everything we could, but your son passed away minutes later. Your daughter lived a little longer. We thought she'd make it, but she slowly started to decline after her brother passed."
I walked backwards until I fell into one of the chairs. I tried to process everything the doctors just told me.
"I had a son and a daughter?"
They both nodded.
"And now...they're dead?"
"We're terribly sorry," the neonatologist said. "Would you like to see them?"
The universe never prepared me for my tragic experiences. Even if it had, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle them any differently. Some people are given a timeline of when a loved one might die. But...are people ever ready to deal with the death of a loved one? I've lost so many people. I feel death surrounds me.
I stare at the two tiny babies swaddled inside a bassinet. Striped hats cover their heads. They are facing each other, foreheads touching. It's as if they don't want to leave each other's side.
"Would you like to hold them?" a nurse asked me.
"Can I?"
She positioned a rocking chair next to the bassinet. I sat down, and she handed me the baby in the blue blanket. My son.
"Take all the time you need," she said. "I'll give you three some privacy." She closed the curtain and walked out.
I took a deep breath and almost choked. He looked just like me.
"My brave son, I know you fought hard. I'm sorry I couldn't help you." I held him close to my chest. I closed my eyes while I rocked him.
Afraid I'd drop him, I slowly stood from the chair. I gave him a kiss before placing him back in the bassinet. I picked up my tiny baby girl.
Tears streamed down my face as I stared at her. She looked just like you.
"I can tell you're just like your mother. Selfless. That's why you left. You didn't want your brother to be alone." I cradled her in my arms and began to sing the lullaby my mother used to sing to me.
I kissed her. "Daddy loves you." I didn't want to let her go. I stared at her doll-like features.
I finally stood up and gently placed her back next to her brother. I reached down and gave them each one last kiss.
"My tiny Kurtas, I wish I knew why you left us so soon. I guess your grandparents need you more than we do."
I found the nurse sitting behind the counter. She gave me a sympathetic smile.
"I'd like to see my wife. They told me she was sent to the ICU. Can you point me in the right direction?"
She looked at her computer screen. She wrote down your room number on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
"Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Kurta?"
I shook my head. "No. I just want to thank you for caring for my babies. You're doing a spectacular job."
I quietly opened the sliding glass door that led to your room. I walked to your bed. The color of your face matched the bedsheets. I felt so much pain; however, knowing I still had you brought me a little comfort. I knew as long as we had each other, we could handle anything.
I sat in the bed and grabbed your hand. I reached down and kissed your lips. You stirred awake.
"Kurapika?"
"Yes. I'm here."
You freed your hand from mine and pressed it against your abdomen.
"What happened," you said. "Where are our babies?"
A hollow pit formed in my stomach. I swallowed hard to keep the nausea from rising.
You attempted to sit up in bed, but the pain from your fresh incision stopped you.
I fluffed the pillow behind your head. I took your hand again and pressed it against my lips.
"(Y/N). My treasure...my happiness...my reason for living. I need you to be strong."
You furrowed your brow. "What happened? I remember an explosion."
I told you about your emergency c-section.
"Did they take our babies to the NICU?" you said.
I nodded.
"When can I see them? Oh...and what did we have? Boys...girls...or one of each?" I heard excitement in your voice.
"We had one of each. A boy and a girl."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I answered.
"Kurapika, what's wrong?"
I squeezed your hand. "They didn't make it. The twins...they're gone."
Your lower lip trembled. You looked away from me and stared at the ceiling.
"(Y/N), I'm so sorry."
"Get out," you whispered.
My forehead crinkled. "What?"
"You're a murderer. You killed our babies. I never want to see you again."
"No...it was an accident," I said.
You pulled the engagement ring off your finger and threw it at me. "Maybe you should've considered that when you brought us here. But no...you were too concerned about your clan's eyes. Not us."
"(Y/N), please. You know that's not true."
"You promised, Kurapika. You promised we'd be safe."
You were right. I should have protected you. It just happened so fast. I didn't even feel it coming.
You pressed your nurse call button. Seconds later, a nurse came into the room.
"Mrs. Kurta, you're awake! Are you in pain?" she asked you.
"That's not my name...and I need you to get this man out of here," you said.
The nurse gave you a confused look. "Isn't he your husband?"
"No...he's a liar. Get him out...he's causing me distress."
The nurse looked at me. "I'm sorry, Mr. Kurta. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"No. I'm not going anywhere."
The nurse reached into her pocket for her phone. The ringing in my ears made it impossible for me to hear who she was talking to. Seconds later, a security guard came into the room. The last thing I wanted to do was cause a scene.
I looked directly at you. "(Y/N), are you serious? I need you. Don't you need me, too?"
You didn't make eye contact with me. Tears fell down the corners of your eyes.
"Kurapika, like I said before, I never want to see you again. Don't try to call me. I'll arrange for someone to pick up my things from the house."
"(Y/N)...don't do this."
The security guard walked closer to me. I glared at him.
"I don't need you to escort me out."
As soon as I walked out of the hospital, I saw Leorio and fell into his arms. I gripped his jacket and buried my face into his chest. I never cried so hard in my life.
He didn't ask me any questions. He simply wrapped his arms around me and allowed me to let out my feelings. Something I've never done before. I felt more arms wrap around me. Gon and Killua.
Several minutes later, Leorio pulled me away. "Kurapika, what happened?"
I started talking...I thought I was making sense, but according to Leorio, my words were incomprehensible.
He turned me around and started walking me back into the hospital.
"No, Leorio. I'm not allowed back in here," I said.
"The hell you're not. You're going to the emergency department."
"No...I didn't get hurt in the explosion."
"You don't know that," Leorio said.
The emergency physician assessed me. I was given oxygen and anti-anxiety medication. When I woke up hours later, I felt calm enough to tell my friends what happened.
Tears welled up in their eyes. Gon and Killua held each other for support. Leorio grabbed me.
"I'm so sorry, Kurapika. Out of everyone in this world, you're the last person who deserves this," Leorio said.
You never contacted me. You didn't even invite me to the funeral. I don't even know what names you chose for our babies.
I later found out where they were buried. I went several times to visit, but I never made it past the gate. I felt like an intruder. I don't know why...they were my children, too.
I sold our house. I attempted to reach out to you to give you all the profit, but you blocked my number. I even asked Alluka to give the money to you. She told me you didn't want to accept it.
"(Y/N), I understand you were in shock. Not only did you receive the worst news a mother could possibly get, you were also going through postpartum depression. But...did you ever consider what I was going through?"
You don't say a word.
I pick up my jacket. "You're right...this was a mistake."
I put on my shoes, and leave the hotel room.
I hop into a cab.
"Where to?" the driver asks me.
"Yanaka Cemetery."
"At this hour? I don't know if you'll be able to get in," he says.
"I don't care. It's important."
He shrugs and drives me to the cemetery. I give him a handful of cash before getting out of the car.
The gate is locked. I walk to the other side and climb the fence. It's dark, and I can barely see where I'm going.
After searching for what feels like an hour, I finally reach a tombstone with two lamb statues sitting on top.
The moonlight shines through the cherry blossom tree that covers the gravesite. My heart sinks to my stomach when I read the tombstone.
PAIRO AND NARA KURTA
I fall to my knees. You gave our son my childhood best friend's name. And Nara...what a beautiful name. Tears fill my eyes as I search for its meaning. Flower from Heaven. I couldn't have come up with a more perfect name for her.
I hear footsteps behind me. Most likely it's the security guard.
"I promise...I'll leave soon. Just give me a few more minutes with my children," I say.
"Kurapika?"
I spin around. You're standing in front of me with tears streaming down your face.
"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?"
"I came looking for you. I want to apologize. You're right. I never took your feelings into consideration." You start to sob. "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
I never blamed you for leaving me. You were correct...if it weren't for my obsession with finding my clan's eyes, we'd be a family. We'd probably be in bed right now, watching our twin babies sleep. Instead, we are standing in the middle of a cemetery, visiting their graves.
I wrap my arms around you. I allow you to cry into my shoulder as I lean down and cry into yours.
We hold each other for several minutes. I pull away, wiping the tears from my eyes. I tuck some of your hair behind your ear.
"Of course I forgive you. You're the love of my life," I say.
You wipe away your own tears. "Oh, Kurapika. I found the rarest fish in the sea and almost threw it back into the ocean. You're the type of man who when he loves, he loves with his entire heart."
You place your hand over my heart. For the past six months, there's been nothing but emptiness there. Your touch fills my heart with warmth, giving it a reason to beat.
"(Y/N), I remember pulling you from the wreckage. Devastation surrounded me. Smoke, fire, broken concrete, and the sound of screams. As a hunter, I've been in similar situations. However, I never had something so precious to protect...three heartbeats. I failed...I couldn't save all three."
"I'm sorry for making you feel that way," you say.
I touch your cheek. "You know what? I believe we should allow beauty to come out of the smoldering remains of the disaster."
A look of confusion crosses your face. "What do you mean?"
"We don't know the reason why our babies left us so soon. They were needed up there. I find comfort in knowing my parents are watching over them."
Through the moonlight, I can see the hope in your eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. My mother is probably overjoyed with her new granddaughter. And my father, he now has another little boy to play with." I look up to the sky. "I guess there's a reason why I'm still here."
You smile. "I know the reason."
"Yeah?"
You reach up and kiss my lips. "It's to take care of me."
I squeeze you. "Yes. You're right."
We both turn to face the beautiful tombstone. I hold your hand and we kneel in front of it. The faint scent of my mother's perfume fills my nose. Two red cardinals land on top of the tombstone. We both give each other a puzzled look. What are they doing here at this hour?
I smile, remembering when a red cardinal appears unexpectedly, it means a lost one is visiting you.
___
One month later
I tap my best friend on the shoulder. "Wake up, Leorio. We need to get ready."
He rolls over and groans. "What time is it?"
"Four. Now come on. You're my best man."
"Dammit, Kurapika. Why did you and (Y/N) plan a sunrise wedding?"
I sit on the bed next to him. "I told you...the sunrise symbolizes a new beginning...a new promise."
He groans again. "You're a hopeless romantic...you know that?"
I smile.
Gon and Killua come into the room pushing a cart full of food.
"This place is awesome...they have twenty-four hour room service!" Killua says, stuffing a chocolate doughnut into his mouth.
"They even have your favorite, Kurapika," Gon says. "French toast with blueberries!"
I hold my abdomen. "Uh...thank you, Gon. But...I'm too nervous to eat."
I hear Leorio snoring. I shake him awake.
He snorts. "I'm awake...I'm awake."
We start to get ready for my wedding.
"You got your vows ready?" Leorio asks me, pulling his pajama top off.
I pull my own top off. "Sort of."
"What do you mean? You're getting married in an hour!"
"I know. I'm just going to allow my heart to do the talking."
He rolls his eyes.
Killua walks in between us. "Hey, wait a minute. You two still have your tattoos?"
I look over my shoulder at my back. "Yeah...I guess with everything that happened...I forgot all about it."
Killua turns to Leorio. "How did your wife react when she saw yours?"
Leorio closes his eyes and shakes his head. "She slapped me and asked why I chose my best friend's name over hers."
Killua lets out a laugh.
"Killua, I meant to ask," I say. "Remember that night? How did Leorio and I end up in the same bed?"
Killua looks at Gon, then back at me. "Do you really want to know?"
I nod.
"Well...Leorio was nervous about the wedding and asked if you'd pretend to be his bride. You agreed. Gotta say...watching the two of you role play was pretty nauseating," Killua says.
I furrow my brow. "Yeah...but that doesn't explain how we ended up sleeping in the same bed."
Killua shrugs his shoulders. "You two were drunk and passed out."
Leorio and I both let out a sigh of relief.
___
I stare out to the ocean as the sun begins to rise. Dolphins jump in and out of the water. The music starts to play and I turn around. Tears immediately flood my eyes when I see you walk down the aisle. You're the most gorgeous woman on this planet and in a few minutes, you'll be mine forever.
You smile as I take your hand. We face the wedding officiant and wait for instructions.
I'm the first to say my vows. I take a deep breath. I thought the words would naturally come to me, but I didn't think I'd be this nervous.
"(Y/N), we've certainly had a challenging year. We've experienced trauma and loss; however, here we stand...in front of our friends...ready to dedicate our lives to each other. There's nothing this universe can throw at us that we can't handle. Allow me to be your strength. I'll always be here to wipe away your tears. You are forever mine."
"Kurapika, I am honored to call you my husband. As the sun rises, in front of our friends, I promise to laugh and cry with you. I promise to take care of you. Like you mentioned, as long as we have each other, we can overcome any obstacle life may throw at us. My heart now belongs to you, and they shall forever beat as one."
We share our first kiss as husband and wife. Holding hands, we run as our friends clap for us.
Once we arrive at the reception venue, I ask the limo driver to leave. You give me a puzzled look.
"They're expecting us, Kurapika."
I smile. "Let them wait."
I pull you close to me, kissing you passionately. Fortunately, your wedding dress isn't one of those big ball gowns. I unzip it, pulling it off with ease.
"Kurapika, what are you doing?"
"I can't wait until tonight. I need to make you mine. Now."
"But..."
I interrupt you with another kiss.
I free myself from my pants while you pull down your white lace panties. You straddle me as I sit back on the seat. You slide down on me. I unclasp your strapless bra and watch as your breast bounce free. You slide up and down...up and down...and...
I can't take it anymore. I lift you off of me, place you on the floorboard of the large limo, and pull my pants all the way off. You spread your legs, and I take you right then and there. Damn...making love to you as your husband feels so much better than before.
You stop me.
"Kurapika, I'm close. Let's experience our first orgasm as a married couple together."
I like that idea. I hold your hands over your head and continue to thrust in and out of you. You pull your pelvis up to meet my thrusts, calling my name.
I pull back. You stare at me with half-lidded eyes. "Ready, my love?" I say.
"Please," you say, writhing beneath me.
I plunge myself deep inside of you. A feeling of euphoria takes over me. You shudder beneath me, and we experience this rapture together.
I look into your eyes, breathing heavily. "I...love...you...Mrs. Kurta."
"And I love you, Mr. Kurta."
We get dressed and hop out of the steamy limo. The driver looks over at us and smiles.
I take your hand, and we run to the reception venue to meet our friends.
Before leaving for our honeymoon, we stop by the cemetery to visit our babies.
I know the pain will always be there. However, having you by my side makes it tolerable.
Thank you, (Y/N), for giving me a second chance. I love you.