Onboard one of the dozens of landing boats a single soldier writes in a journal while the violent waves of the storm rock and shake his boat while some of his fellow soldiers vomit around him.
"Portschach's journal. July 2nd. Early morning 0600 hours. Fierce Storm. Freezing Temperatures. These are the annals of war. I'm desperate for this bitter engagement to be over so I can head home, where I got wood, hot and burning on the fire ready to heat me up, and my girl waiting for me with pleasure spread across her face." He says to himself while looking up at the approaching beach.
"Heads up." An older more experienced soldier yells. "The times come to pound this out! Some of you guys couldn't hold on. Pathetic! Those squirts have been discharged. Prematurely! But you came through. You came quick, hard! In! And out! Over and over! Strong!" He yells out while thrusting his pelvis forward and performing a stroking motion with his hand. "But we're not finished yet! Now, we must thrust forward! Stay on top of each other. Give a hand when needed. And let's bring this thing to a climax!"
"Hey. How's you're journal entry diddling going?" A soldier beside Portschach asks.
"It's wet!" He replies.
"I get it. Rub out a few thoughts before walking hard and fast into death." A soldier behind Portschach says.
"This is stimulating, ya know? Going so deep into an operation like this." Another soldier stated while stroking the barrel of his gun.
"Know what I heard? No one's ever pulled out successfully before." A soldier wearing glasses states.
"It's true. Ask that old battle bastard; he's been around the block before." The first soldier says.
"Apparently he rode out the 4th Bartholin Campaign and hasn't been the same since." The second soldier informs.
"Well, Gramps? You think we'll be able to squeeze one off?" The glasses soldier asks.
"Need lube..." The old soldier says while struggling to stroke his barrel.
"Come again?" One of them asks.
"Vas deferens, that's how you know." He says quietly.
"What? Your oral skills blow, old man!" He states.
"Give him a minute. He starts off slow that's all." The second soldier says.
"Beware the name General Scottie!" Gramps suddenly shouts. "We can't let him win! He must go down!"
Suddenly the boat scraps to a halt against the beach.
"It's time Seamen! Get off!" The experienced soldier orders.
All the soldiers tense up and nervously wait for the door to drop. When it does the first soldier to take a step is shot in the head. The glasses soldier steps back in shock before being shot through the eye. Dozens of soldiers are gunned down in the boat. Portschach and what remains of his group cower in fear at the back of the boat.
"Stay strong incoming! Get on top of that mound!" The experienced soldier shouts while pointing at two mounds spaced apart with long wild hair like trees sprouting from them. "Fire your loads at will! let's cream'em, boys!"
Portschach and the remaining soldiers release a battle cry and storm the beach towards the two mounds.
"GO!GO!GO-" He's shot in the head.
The seamen continue to run up the beach towards the mounds as bullets and explosions pepper the area. They take cover behind small hills and tank traps. Suddenly as the first soldier makes it to the top of the hill massive tissue boxes appear in the sky over the mounds.
"That's huge! This will never work!" One of the soldiers shouts in horror.
The tissue boxes begin dropping large pieces of tissue paper on the soldiers below.
"Pull out! Withdraw now!" A soldier yells.
All the seamen begin running for their lives. But many of them are touched by the paper which liquefies them on contact leaving wet marks on the tissue.
"Almost there-"
Some of the soldiers start defiantly firing their weapons at the tissue to no effect.
"Fuck this! Fuck this! Oh my god-" He's wrapped up and liquified
What remains of the soldiers are quickly liquified. The tissue crumples up into balls and rises into the sky. The beach is now devoid of life except for Portschach who managed to survive by hiding. He glares up to the sky at the tissue boxes flying overhead.
"Damn those things! They wiped us out! We we're so close! We could have gone all the way!" He states.
Now in Daten City. It's just a normal day. In a neighborhood near to the church, the milkman was riding his bicycle down the road. In front of him was chuck who sleeping in the middle of the road. Chuck wakes up and yells in fear once he realizes he's about to be hit. The milkman who is also asleep wakes up from Chucks yelling.
"Oh shit!" He shouts
He presses the break but it's too late the front wheel hits chuck directly in the head cracking his skull, destroying the front wheel, and flipping the milkman off his bike; the milk he was carrying crashes onto the street shattering everywhere. The milk pools and mixes with the milkman's blood when Chuck starts licking it up. The bloodied milkman looks up and shouts out of horror before running to the side. A street sweeper drives by and crushes Chuck like a bug under it.
Now at the church...
"WHY!?!" Garter shouts
Garter stomps into the kitchen where Panty is eating a bowl of clam chowder in a sports bra and panties while Stocking sits across from her reading a book. His face and body literally red as a tomato.
"What part of I have a hangover every fucking morning don't you get?" Panty states
Stocking gives Garter a single side glance before groaning in annoyance and returning to her book.
"Gone!Gone!" Garter shouts.
"What's gone? Your period? Cause that's weird." Panty says while flinging a little bit of her food onto Garter's face.
"Just leave me alone! I'm in physical pain here! Where are the tissues?" Garter shouts
Garter struggles to fit through the doorway but when he does it's revealed that his afro has completely inflated.
He struggles to walk around with it and has to use both his hands to hold it up.
"Dude! Do you have a fucking cold!? Stop! You're freaking me out!" Panty yells.
When Panty yells some of her clam chowder flies from her mouth and onto Garter's face causing him to recoil.
"Now you're just torturing me!" He yells
Chuck jumps up and starts licking Garter's face. Panty who was now on the ground with drops of chowder all over her from her spilled bowl grabs a napkin and starts to clean herself up.
"Look, if you can't find a tissue, just use your tongue that's what I always do." She says before licking the chowder from around her lips.
"I hate you!" Garter states before throwing chuck into the wall. "Don't pretend you know what I'm going through right now! I'm not that great with aim okay. And even if I was, I couldn't shoot myself in the mouth. Plus my Alter boys need softness and sensitivity. A tissue is the answer. It's the only way." He states desperately.
"Only way for what?" Panty says while sliding over with a mischievous smirk.
"You know!" Garter replies angrily.
"I am so over this convo. Come on Stockin' let's go I guess we should get off to school and shit-" Panty says.
"Right! Get off!" Stocking says while jumping up from her seat.
"NO ONE'S GETTING ANYWHERE!!!" Garter shouts throwing saliva everywhere including onto the Angels. "We've got a problem angels! This phenomenon is no longer limited to Daten City. It's already grown into a nationwide social dilemma! There are riots spurting up all over the place! Children are in tears because they can't master baiting techniques in art class! Police are beating off protestors with their bare hands! Politicians not coming on time, well that goes without saying, but-"
Garter opens his eyes to see that Panty was sleeping and Stocking was laying on her stomach away from Garter reading her book. Garter blinks in disbelief.
"In short!" He yells stomping on a sleeping Chuck. "To be without a tissue is to be without god! I am a man of faith and just look at me. I'm practically dying over here! The men of the world cannot take no more pressure-"
The sound of someone descending the stairs draws everyone's attention. The person who steps off the final step is none other than Izuku. In nothing but a towel. He had sweat and water droplets trailing down his chest and abs. His hair was damp and laying flat on his head as some of his hair hid the right side of his eye.
"Hey, have any of you seen Zetsubo? I thought it was hanging in my room but I can't find it." He asks before looking at everyone to see they are all staring at him.
Stocking's face explodes red, Panty eyes are glued to Izuku's body, and Garter's afro grows a bit more.
"Did I come at a bad time?"Izuku asks.
Suddenly Chuck runs by and snags the towel revealing Izuku's full body. Stocking get's an explosive nosebleed and falls over, Panty's mouth starts overflowing with drool, and Garter...
"I'm gonna blow! Maximum Climax!" He yells.
Garter's afro swells before.
The force of the explosion was enough to blow a hole through the building and a white goo ascend high into the sky above the clouds. Garter groans in relief. Suddenly clouds gather and lightning strikes Chuck.
"That was fucking amazing!" Garter states happily.
"No, that was fucking awkward as hell." Panty says before leaving.
"Awkward as fuck." Stocking says before leaving as well.
"I...shouldn't have come down here." Izuku says before going.
"You need to be a little more understanding!" Garter shouts.
Chuck spits out a not that unrolls to reveal "Paper Plant". Garter picks up the note now with his Afro blown apart and dripping white goo.
"A clue." Garter says holding the note up. "Someone must have inserted it while I was busy, you know, doing that! You hear that? Panty, Stocking, and Izuku are needed!" He states.
Garter stands in the now destroyed kitchen alone with the goo-covered walls and the destroyed roof of the building that is dropping debris around him.
Later Panty, Stocking, and Izuku are in See-through driving towards their destination under the night sky.
"Holy fuck has his head gone limp." Panty states.
"Yes! Creampie flavor." Stocking says while holding up a jelly bean from many inside her pouch.
"Bingo! I would definitely call that the nether regions of the city."
"Who the fuck designed that?" Izuku asks.
"And what a spunky little hole it is." Stocking states.
"A stank ass hole." Panty says.
"Smells fishy." Stocking says before leaning over and smelling Panty. "Fuck are you sure that's not you?" Stocking asks smirking.
"It must be that clam chowder I had earlier." Panty says as she blushes embarrassed.
"Mhmm."
Garters face appears on the screen in the middle of the dashboard but the screen was glitching out causing it to static.
"Get inside now! Ain't no time for pussyfooting around! Penetrate and conquer! Let you're cocked---girls. Leave no hole un---. Give them a holy --- injection! The whole world is counting on you!"
"We can't understand what you're fucking saying!" Panty shouts while hitting the screen until explodes.
"Nice." Izuku states.
"Damn it. A cunning linguist he is not." Panty says. Thanks for nothing bro."
They stop directly outside the factory after running over a squirrel. Their attention is pulled to the side where a man stands.
"Fuck me! Well hello lovah!" She states.
The three then realize that the man was frozen stiff from a white creamy-like substance that is all over him including in his mouth.
"Only you would fall for a literal stiff." Stocking jokes.
"What's that smell?" Panty asks before smelling the air. "Oh. I'm getting a whiff of coinage." She states while drooling a little.
They walk up to the factory doors and Izuku spreads them wide causing them to moan loudly. They walk inside to see the entire place is covered in white cream.
"Looks like Someone made a mess in here." Izuku says while looking around.
"Jesus, talk about some fucking tight ass quarters." Panty says.
"I don't know. If it's big enough to get the job done, it's big enough for me." Stocking says
"White alert!!" A voice yells out.
The three look up to see small tear-shaped balls float down and transform into small ghosts with helmets and guns.
"No blockers allowed! Go away!" One of them shouts.
Stocking smiles gleefully and drools at how cute the Cowpers are.
"They're so cute; I just wanna swallow'em up!" She says causing Izuku and Panty to look at her weirdly.
"So you're the tools behind this mess. You guys squirted junk all over this place." Panty yells angry.
"I wanna touch one so bad!" Stocking yells causing Izuku to facepalm.
"This factory shouldn't have been erected!" One of them shouts.
"It screwed up everything!" Another shouts before throwing down a box of tissue paper onto a pile of them."That murderous General Scottie can go to hell!" He says while stomping on the boxes.
"To hell!" They all shout together.
"The tissues they make have spilled out blood time and again" One of them yells.
"The tissues they make are the reason they turned into ghosts!" They all yell.
"So we're gonna destroy it!"
"We're gonna destroy it!"
"So what, are you gonna gang up on my mouth next?" Panty asks bored and digging in her nose.
"That depends. Are you an ally of General Scottie?" One of them asks.
"Newsflash, tiny dancer, I don't know who the fuck you're talking about. Here." Panty says before flicking a booger through the hole in one of their heads.
"I'll tell ya what. I don't care about Scottie. But I do care about making you guys suffer." She states.
"I'm just here to get the tissue back." Izuku says.
"You stupid jerk-off pricks! Nail'em!" The lead Cowper yells.
The Cowpers all start growling and point their squirting weapons at the three.
"Go back to your damn balls, ya fucking low counts!" Panty shouts.
"I did not think I'd be fighting ghostified sperm. This is definitely the weirdest day I've had." Izuku says as he summoned OFA.
"Panty. Izuku. Come on. I just want one. They're so afreakingadorable!" She says while walking up to a pair of them and attempting to grab them.
"Fuck that. They're cute enough when you're just lookin' at 'em, I'll give it ya." Panty says
The three stand back to back against a million Cowpers
"But get some in your eye, it's gonna burn. Them bitter motherfuckers!" Seh states.
"Oh, pitiful shadow lost in the darkness o' evil spirit drifting between heaven and earth/show your worth to your one true master, grant me your strength, your anger,your power so that I can vanquish these impure souls and send them back to their lonesome depths of the Underworld from whence they came...The Reckoning is Near...Zetsubō!" The three of them say.
Panty and Stocking form their weapons while a green glow that covers Izuku's body with his weapon at the ready.
"Guess what's next." Panty says.
"Everyone! Prepare to surge forward with the seeds of anger!"
"Yeah!" The Cowpers shout.
"Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth!."
The Cowpers begin making their way toward the three albeit slowly as they struggle to move even a little.
"Yada Yada with great vengeance and furious anger! Izuku do it!" Panty says.
Stocking and Panty put their hands on Izuku's shoulders as his eyes glowed with power while pointing his sword towards Cowpers as the pulse of power begins to get faster and faster.
"Now, brothers! Let the final ejaculation flow!"
"Time to repent Motherfuckers!" Izuku and Panty yell out.
A teal and green like shockwave shoots forth from Izuku's body and sword and turns all the Cowpers to ash on contact. The shockwave releases a massive explosion that not only destroyed all the Cowpers but also the entire Tissue plant and some of the surrounding area.
"Portschach's Journal. August 16th. Early morning, 0600 hours. Fairweather, but with higher-than-average waves. My spirit count is high. These are the annals of war. I'm desperate for this bitter engagement to be over so I can head home, where I've got wood, hot and burning on the fire ready to heat me up. And my girl waiting for me with pleasure spread across her face."
Portschach now stands at the front of the bot he closes his journal and turns to face his men. He now looks older and now wears a scar over his left eye and helmet.
Squirts! The time has come to pound this operation out! After a rough battle General Scotty finally succumbed as he felt the strength of our brother's lengthy and gut-wrenching invasion! We're now riding on new ground we have officially penetrated enemy territory! Yes, men, you have proven yourselves to be hard, and strong, with great stamina! This is my final order! Thrust ahead with no fear! Give her everything you got! This is the climax! Saturate the area!" He yells.
Portschach and his men charge forward towards the mounds as more soldiers parachute in from above. They race up the mound to the top carrying a flag that bears the male symbol.
"These are my men. Without them, I never would have made it this far. Finally. This bush is ours. I've never felt more alive! We won! We're coming in!" He says as tears leave his eyes.
Suddenly their all stopped by a pink latex-like material. Portschach groans in horror.
Chapter End.
... honestly I'm not sure about this but hope you enjoy.