DELILAH WALKED INTO JOE'S BAR, the door jingling as she swung it open. Almost immediately, Meredith's head snapped to see who it was. She still held out hope that it was Derek and he was just late.
Upon seeing who was at the door, Meredith visibly deflated. Delilah walked up beside her and frowned. "Oh, come on, Mer. Aren't you happy to see me?" she asked.
The dirty blonde sighed. "I am... It's just..." her voice trailed off.
"She was expecting you to be her McDreamy," Joe supplied.
Delilah let a sad smile cross her features. So, he didn't choose her. "I'm sorry, eonni," Delilah whispered. She put a supportive hand on Meredith's arm, rubbing it soothingly.
Meredith's head shot up from where it was nestled between her arms. "I actually said, "Pick me." Right? I did? "Pick me"?" she regretfully confessed.
"I think it's romantic," Joe said, trying to make her feel better.
Meredith frowned. "It's not romantic, Joe. It's horrifying," she corrected. "Horror movie horrifying."
"Oh, it couldn't have been that bad, couldn't it?" Delilah asked.
Meredith gave her a look. "I gave him a speech professing my love for him in the scrub room after surgery. I said, "Pick me, choose me, love me". It was horrifying, Lilah," she remarked.
"I'm sure he loved it, eonni. But you're in a bar now. It's time for you to let go of your sorrows and have fun," the brunette grinned. "Maybe you'll even find someone new," she suggested, wiggling her eyebrows.
Suddenly, all of the doctors in the bar were paged. One of them called out to Joe to turn the TV on.
Lo and behold, there was a crash. From what she could see on the TV, it was pretty bad. Delilah only hoped that they could save some people.
With a forced smile on her face (which looked more like a grimace than anything), Delilah turned to her friends. "I have coconut water in my car?"
⚕⚕⚕
As the interns rushed to prepare for the long night, a very well-dressed Dr Bailey walked by. Delilah grinned, greeting the woman cheerfully. "You look great, Dr Bailey. How was dinner with Tucker?" she asked.
The African-American smiled at her back. "As well as an interrupted anniversary could go. Lilah, could you get me my shoes, please?" she responded.
"Right away, doctor," Delilah smiled before rushing to get her Resident's Crocs.
Dr Bailey gave the remainder of the interns a look. "What are you all standing there looking foolish for? Look alive, people," she exclaimed.
When she walked by Meredith, the dirty blonde smiled. "Hello. I seem to be a little bit drunk," she cheesed. "I was off duty," she added, trying to justify her inebriated state.
Dr Bailey turned to the others. "So was I. Anybody else half in the bottle?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow.
They were all quick to shake their heads, responding with a synchronised "No."
Delilah came running back, a pair of pink rubber shoes in her hand. "Dr Bailey, I'm back with your shoes," she called out.
The woman accepted the shoes with a thankful grin. "You're with me, Delilah. Come on," she instructed.
The two doctors were led to trauma room one by an EMT, who gave them the run-down of their patients. "His BP's holding at ninety over palp. She's had two hypotensive episodes to the low seventies," she explained.
"You couldn't get a saw in there?" Dr Burke, who they met in the room, asked.
The EMT shook her head. "Not without moving them," she responded.
"Which would've been a very bad idea," Dr Bailey cut in.
Dr Burke looked to the side. "Did you bolus her with fluids?" he asked.
As the Attending and the Resident continued speaking with the EMT, Delilah and Meredith stood by the two patients. The interns carefully assessed their injuries. Well, one of them was.
Meredith was a little too drunk to function properly.
Delilah giggled as she watched Meredith examine the two patients conjoined by a pole with childlike wonder. The female patient peered at Meredith. "Is this the craziest thing you've ever seen?" she asked.
Meredith made eye contact with the woman. "Uh... Yeah," she responded.
"Yeah. Me too."
Uh oh.
Just then, Dr Burke walked into the room. "Hi, I'm Dr Burke," he introduced. Bonnie turned her head to look at him. "You shouldn't turn your head. You want to try to move as little as possible," the African-American male advised.
"Oh, ok..." Bonnie's voice trailed off. "So, are you going to pull this pole out of us anytime soon?" she asked.
"It's a touch uncomfortable," the male patient added.
Dr Burke gave them an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. We can't do that until we get a better look at what's going on internally. I assure you we will work as quickly as possible," he said.
"Well, in that case, does anyone have a breath mint?"
Uh, what?
"For me, not for you."
Delilah muffled her giggles with her left hand. This woman's hilarious, okay? Don't judge her. She's had a long day.
"O'Malley, take them to X-Ray," Dr Bailey instructs. "Be very careful with them."
With that, puppy boy took off with the gurney.
Dr Bailey walked off, Meredith, Delilah and Alex trailing behind her. The Resident sent Alex off to the pit, making a quip about his "new fear of scalpels."
Delilah gleefully laughed at his expense for that one.
Then, the African American sent Meredith away too. She gave the dirty blonde specific instructions to not come into contact with any patients until she had finished an entire Banana bag.
Dr Bailey began walking again, leaving Delilah without an assignment. The brunette smiled at Meredith before rushing off to follow her Resident.
"Ten years of marriage," she grumbled. "I didn't even get to finish my damn lobster."
Delilah perked up. "Ooh. I can help with that," she grinned. "My mother tells me my lobster recipe is to die for. I make you a batch."
Dr Bailey just stared blankly at her.
"Oh," Delilah mumbled. "I wasn't supposed to respond to that."
⚕⚕⚕
Dr Bailey and Delilah met up with George and Meredith in the viewing room. As George put up the scans, Delilah grimaced. "The pole pierced straight through her spine. Her T8 is completely crushed," she sighed.
The Resident nodded grimly. "Yeah. You're right."
Just then, Dr Shepherd walked into the room. "Hey," he greeted. He looked around the room and saw that the woman he was in love with was hooked to an IV.
"Whoa. What happened?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"You."
"Tequilla."
Came the responses from Delilah and Meredith. You can probably tell who said what. (Spoiler alert, Delilah's dialogue was the first one)
Dr Bailey smacked Delilah's arm for her comment. "If you don't shut your mouth right now," she threatened.
The brunette raised her arms in defeat. "Okay, okay! Sorry, Derek."
Derek just shrugged. He couldn't get mad at Delilah. She was too funny to be mad at. And, the comment was deserved.
Dr Bailey then turned her attention to him. "I'm keeping an eye on her," she reassured, referring to Meredith.
The neurosurgeon moved to look at the scans, standing next to Delilah as he did so. "Look at this. These people are still alive?" he asked, surprised.
"Yeah. They're making jokes. The woman's pretty funny," Delilah responded. "The pole is tamponading their wounds. It's bad, Derek," she added.
Dr Shepherd moved closer to their chest X-Rays. "It's hitting the aorta," he evaluated.
"And look at him," Dr Burke spoke up. "It's right in line with his inferior vena cava."
George looked to his superiors. "Is there any way to operate without moving them?" he asked.
Dr Bailey shook her head. "As of right now? No. They'll both bleed out if we move the pole," she responded.
Don't move the pole. What if?
"Oh!" Delilah gasped, gaining the attention of everyone in the room.
Derek rapidly spun on his heels. "What? What is it, Lilah?" he asked.
The girl bit her lip nervously. "I, uh, have an idea," she let out.
"Well? What is it? Spit it out, Love," Dr Burke said.
Delilah looked unsure. "It's not a bad idea, but it would..." her voice trailed off.
"Just say it, dude."
Delilah narrowed her eyes. "Okay. You did not just dude me right now."
Dr Bailey was just about done. "Do we have to wait until the next century for you to tell us your brilliant idea, Dr Love?" she asked, exasperated.
"Oh, yeah," Delilah responded. "Sorry. Got distracted. I've got issues."
"Don't we all?"
Delilah rolled her eyes. "Anyways. What if we just didn't move the pole? We pull one of them off and cut the pole with a saw," she said. "That way, we can control the pole and save them."
Dr Burke nodded. "We move it slowly and repair the damage as we go," he spoke up, understanding where the girl was going with this idea.
Then, Delilah spoke up again. "There's just one problem, though. Who do we move?" she asked. "With the girl's aortic issues, she's already looking at an astronomically small chance of survival. If we move her, then we have a chance at saving the guy," she explained.
Dr Burke cut in again. "If we were looking at it that way, wouldn't we move the man? Give them both a better shot at surviving?" he asked.
"Yeah, exactly," Dr Shepherd agreed. "I could argue since her injuries are more extensive we should move the man and give her the best chance of survival."
George sighed sadly. "So, basically, whoever you move doesn't stand a chance?" he asked.
"So how do you choose?" Meredith asked. "How do you decide who gets to live?"
⚕⚕⚕
The group of doctors walked down the hall as they discussed their decision. They had just gone to asses Bonnie and Tom's injuries. It seemed that they all agreed on who to move.
It would be Bonnie.
The woman's injuries were far too extensive. There was no way she would come out of this alive. If she did, she'd have to be hooked up to machines for the rest of her life.
She did have to admit, though. Bonnie truly is an amazing person. Even as she was on death's doorstep, she still made jokes. She laughed and tried her hardest to make everyone smile.
Her perseverance and positive energy are something Delilah will forever admire.
The brunette fiddled with her fingers nervously as she heard Dr Burke and Dr Shepherd speaking. Had she just inadvertently signed Bonnie's death warrant?
She was soon pulled from her thoughts when a pair of fingers snapped in her face. "Hey, Lilah. Come on, we need to prep for surgery," came Derek's soft voice.
The girl bit her lip and nodded, following after the neurosurgeon. As if he was reading her thoughts, Derek turned to her with a worried look. "What's wrong, Lilah?" he asked.
When she didn't reply, Derek crouched down in front of her. "Hey. What is it? You can tell me anything. You know that, right?" he assured her.
The brunette gazed up at him sadly. "What if I just insured Bonnie's death? Is this even the right thing to do?" she frowned.
Derek shook his head. "No. No. Don't think that way. Your idea is the only lead we have right now. Without it, we'd all be lost. They'd be lost," he soothed.
Delilah sniffled softly. "It doesn't feel that way right now. How are we supposed to tell them that to save one of them, we have to sacrifice the other?" she whimpered.
"You don't have to worry about that, okay, Lilah? Just let me take care of it for you," the neurosurgeon said. He pulled the emotional girl into a hug, smoothing his hand down her back as she sobbed.
"Let it out, Delilah. Big brother Derek is always here for you."
⚕⚕⚕
Delilah stood by Dr Shepherd as they prepared to break the news to Bonnie and Tom. She felt a pang in her chest at the smile Bonnie sent her when they entered. She didn't know if she could get through this without crying again.
It's just so damn hard.
Noticing the girl's downcast mood, Derek wrapped an arm around her shoulder and squeezed. He shifted away and addressed the conjoined patients.
"This is hard because your body is in a certain amount of shock. It's preventing you from feeling any pain. From feeling the extent of your injuries," Derek explained, trying to slowly break the news.
Bonnie gave him a reassuring smile. "Dr Shepherd? We have a metal pole cutting a path through our insides," she said. "I don't know about Tom here, but I don't expect to walk out of here anytime soon. So whatever it is you have to say, please, say it."
"Okay, Bonnie," Derek nodded. He let out a deep breath before continuing. "In order to operate on Mr Maynard, we have to separate you two. In order to do that, we have to move you off the pole," he explained.
Tom looked alarmed. "Can't you just pull the pole out of both of us?" he asked.
"No, sorry. If we were to pull the pole out, you'd both start bleeding out. Too quickly. The only thing preventing that right now is the pole, which is acting as a plug. Once removed, your organs will shift and cause too much damage," Delilah told him, her voice wavering. "I'm so sorry."
Bonnie gave the girl a soft smile. Her hand reached out to hold Delilah's as a sign of comfort. "It's okay, Lilah. I have long since accepted that I wouldn't be getting out of this alive," she soothed.
"I-It's not fair, Bonnie," the brunette cried. "There should be a way to save you both. I just have to think harder."
Bonnie gave her hand a squeeze. "I'll be fine, Delilah. I've lived a good life," she said. "I had amazing parents who gave me everything I wanted. I met the love of my life, who I'm currently engaged to. And I met you. The aspiring surgeon who I know will take the world by storm," she smiled.
Her thumb soothed over Delilah's hand, and she looked up at her groggily. "Just promise me one thing, Delilah," she requested.
The brunette perked up. "Anything, Bonnie."
"Promise me that you won't give up," she began. "No matter how hard it gets. Promise me that you'll keep going and that one day, you won't have to apologize to a patient for doing everything you can," she said tearfully.
Delilah's eyes glossed over, and she struggled to keep her tears at bay. She sniffled softly and squeezed Bonnie's hand.
"I promise."
⚕⚕⚕
Delilah stood in the far corner of the OR as they carried out Bonnie and Tom's procedure. She already felt terrible enough being the one who thought of the idea. She couldn't bear to be so close to them while they practically killed Bonnie.
It wasn't fair.
Life isn't fair.
She watched them slide Bonnie off the pole and immediately rushed to her side. Delilah stood dutifully by Dr Bailey's side, holding a retractor.
Suddenly, Tom's monitor started beeping loudly and everyone rushed to help him.
Delilah stood there holding the retractor and hoped somebody would come and help her. But they didn't. They all flocked to Tom and fought to save his life.
"What about Bonnie? We can't just abandon her! I can't abandon her!" she yelled. Her eyes met with Dr Bailey and she stared at her pleadingly.
The African-American shook her head. "Let's go, Dr Love," she said.
When Delilah didn't move, Derek called her name. "Lilah. Come on," he urged.
Delilah shook her head. "I'm not leaving Bonnie. We have to help her. We have to try," she pressed.
Dr Bailey clicked her tongue and moved to the brunette's side. "There was never anything we could do the help her, Delilah. We have to let her go," she gritted out sternly. She pushed Delilah away from Bonnie's dead body and rushed back to Tom's side.
The brunette stared blankly at the heart monitor, watching as Bonnie flatlined. She took a deep breath and glanced at the giant clock on the wall.
"T-Time of death, 3:49."
⚕⚕⚕
After the surgery, Delilah found herself standing in the same elevator as Derek and Dr Bailey. She stuck to the back of the elevator, wrapping her arms around herself as she fought to keep her tears at bay.
They had all just met Danny, Bonnie's fiancé, who came to claim her body. The man's tears brought back the emotions Delilah had felt earlier that night, making her eyes water.
It was quiet in the elevator. The three doctors were too riddled with emotion to say anything.
Delilah passed her breaking point when Dr Bailey stopped the elevator. She sunk to her knees and let all the tears out. She cried for Bonnie. She cried for how she couldn't save her.
She cried for how even though she tried her best, it wasn't enough to save her.
It wasn't enough.
She wasn't enough.
As she sobbed, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her trembling figure.
It was Derek.
He pulled the distraught brunette closer to his body and soothed his hand down her back. He hushed her, reassuring her that letting Bonnie go was the only way the surgery could happen. He assured her that Bonnie would have died regardless of her plan. And he assured her that it wasn't her fault.
That she was enough.