CHAPTER TWELVE. Broken Hearted.
VICTORIA GRAHAM was never into extravagant family dinners. Her parents were barely home, making a nightly routine of family dinners a rare thing. Victoria wasn't used to it — especially when her fake boyfriend was involved. Victoria would've never imagined this, staring blankly with a mind filled of thoughts, distracting her from the improbable view in front of her.
Cook never seemed to be much of a family man. Vic barely knew a thing about him, but she knew well enough he wasn't raised with the parental love she was. Victoria could see how much Cook soaked in the love he was receiving from her parents — especially her mother. Victoria's father was a cold man. He was the typical father; never liking the idea of a boy coming into his little girls life. But he had learned to expect it. He knew Victoria was a smart girl who made smart choices.
Sometimes.
He didn't mind her taste in men at first. He adored Tony. He absolutely hated when Tony had left for college, and made him promise to come and visit as much as he could. Tony would stop by during breaks, but Victoria was never present for those appearances. Victoria was unsure on how Effy took that; the idea her parents still regularly seeing Tony just as much as she did. Then again, it wasn't like it was specifically Tony who got the special attention. Victoria and Effy's parents had a wonderful friendship. The children all regularly saw one another — Tony and Effy's family was like her family.
Laughter. All that she heard through her ears was laughter cascading out of Cook and her parents mouths. Even Rowen was cracking a few smiles, which was rare for her. Was it bad she had begun to wonder how they'd act if Freddie was in this position and not Cook? Would they like him just as much? Feed into his jokes and charming manner? She didn't know, but that was a huge question in her mind currently.
Releasing a subtly throat clear, Victoria scooted the dining chair backwards against the wooden flooring of the large posh room. She gently wrapped her hands around the dirty china that was resting empty on the table, her presence not seeming to be missed as she exited the room without much notice.
The vibration of her newly bought phone buzzed against her back pocket of the jeans she wore, irritating her more. She knew it was Freddie. He hadn't stopped trying to come into contact with her the entire night after she had, sheepishly, admitted that Cook would be making an appearance at her families home for a dinner get-together. Freddie wasn't happy. Victoria wasn't exactly sure if he had a right to be angry, though. Cook was still considered her boyfriend, unfortunately.
Victoria had grown to pity Cook, in all honesty. She was leading him on, but then again, it wasn't her fault. They're deal was to stick together until Freddie and Effy broke up. But now that Freddie and Effy were officially done for, they were oddly still together. Victoria had assumed Cook would just end it right on the spot and ignore Victoria like the plague. But he had become even more clingy since the announcement of Effy and Freddie's split, leaving Victoria in a confused state of mind with a pile of mess she'd need to clean up.
Victoria's hands rubbed the dirty dish clean with force, turning her hands raw against the straw scrubber. She was taking her mindful frustrations out on this innocent plate as if was filled with all her worries on top of it.
"Rory?" A voice sounded from behind her, startling her in a way that caused her body to jump, turning fast towards the culprit who frightened her. The plate clashed against the silver sink, but didn't dare break, easing her, as she knew her mother would scold her heavily for breaking such a well-crafted item. It was Cook who interrupted her, his face glowing in the light of the dimly lit kitchen. "You okay?"
"Yeah — just fine. Why?" She brushed her hands against a freshly cleaned towel, then began to run her hand through her hair.
"You just seem, I don't know, tense, I guess." He shrugged, gently placing his own silverware down after he had made his way towards Victoria's side. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." She trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip as she avoided eye-contact. "But we do need to talk" Victoria fought off her nerves, peering up to his blue eyes. "About us — whatever this is."
"Yeah," he nodded. "I know." It was obvious he didn't know how to start, not only by his silence, but the way his hands fidgeted together taught Victoria in the moment that he wasn't as prepared like she was.
"Cook," his name cascaded from her lips, the way she had said it caused a chill to run down his spine, something Effy was never capable to do to him. "what are we doing?" She smiled, shaking her head. "Effy and Freddie broke up, you know that, right? I thought the entire reasoning behind you and I ever starting something was so you could go and be with Effy like you wanted. And now, you're sitting in my dining room eating fucking duck with my parents."
"I know- you're right-" Cook inhaled heavily, scratching his forehead nervously. "I don't know, Vic. Something about ending whatever this is seems, wrong, I guess." He mutters, almost ashamed to say those type of words.
"The only thing wrong about this is that we ever started it at the beginning." She crossed her arms over her guarded chest, before leaning against the crystallized counter. "We aren't in a real relationship, Cook. All the shit that we've done was to make Effy jealous, that's it."
"That's a fucking lie." Cook shook his head in some sort of a denial.
"No, it isn't, Cook! Nothing that's happened between us has been real. I'm not in love with you, Cook. I don't want you and I don't need you — get that through your fucking head. I don't want you here, I never wanted this with you." Victoria's voice raised. She knew her parents most likely were hearing this conversation, but she didn't care at this point. She needed Cook to get this through his head. At the start, admittedly, she was jealous in a way of Cook's love for Effy. But now that her and Freddie were something, she didn't care much about Cook.
"How can you say that? You seriously don't feel a single thing for me, Rory? Not a fucking thing." He gawked, his head shaking.
"No, I don't." Victoria stepped back, rubbing the crease of her forehead. "Cook, you're a nice guy, but nothing is going to happen between us."
"Fuck that." Suddenly, Cook rushed forward with so much force, it caused Victoria to stumble back. Before she could fall straight on her ass, Cook's left arm hooked around her waist, pulling her close to his body, while his right palm came onto her cheek, guiding her lips onto his. Victoria was frozen on the spot, her eyes automatically closing instinctively.
With less than 30 seconds into the kiss. Victoria pushed Cook away from her, causing him to release her. The air in her lungs sealed shut, refusing to let her properly breathe. Victoria whipped herself around, embarrassed to face him. Her fingers touched her newly puffy lips, stunned by what just had happened. Victoria's mind replayed the event in a torturous way, a sudden rush of guilt forming in the pit of her stomach.
"You shouldn't have done that." She murmured, peering over her shoulder, but still refusing to move.
Cook scoffed, rolling his eyes at her pathetic attempt to hide the emotions he thought she had. "Why won't you let this happen. You know we'd work together, why are you denying it!"
"Because we wouldn't work together, Cook! You barely fucking know me!"
"I know you more than he does." Cook sneered, giving Victoria the answer she knew all along. To Cook, this was a game — a competition. Just like how Cook viewed Effy. She was the prize, and he and Freddie were the two competitors.
"You're a fucking idiot." Victoria growled, becoming more and more angry by the second. "All of this was for Freddie, wasn't it? It wasn't to get Effy, it was to get Freddie back for whatever fucked up reasoning you made up in your head. You don't want me, you want to make Freddie angry." Victoria glared, storming towards him so their chests were pressed against one another. "You're a pathetic piece of shit who only thinks about himself and his dick."
"Fuck you!" He shoved her back, fuming with annoyance. "You're coming up with all these goddamn excuses to make yourself feel better, when in reality, you know how fucked up all of this is — how fucked up you are, because you fucked your best friends boyfriend, her brother and now are dating the guy that she loves. Don't act like your such a saint." He shook his head. "You want to know why I want you?"
"You don't want me, Cook!" She sneered. She hated this. And most of all, she hated knowing he was right. Cook was bringing up Victoria's most painful past. Not the part where she had betrayed Effy by sleeping with not only her boyfriend, but as well as her brother, but the fact that he was bringing up Tony killed her. It was one thing for her parents to bring him up, but when a person who never even met him — never saw their relationship, dragged him into a conversation, it just irked her in the wrong way. "And don't bring Tony into this."
"I can do whatever the fuck I want." He spat, fuelling her anger. "Am I really the first person to give you a reality check, love?" He sarcastically chuckled, amused by this newly discovered information. "You're a shitty person, Vic. And I know that you know that, but you can't seem to get that to your thick skull, either. That's what makes us so good together; we're the same. We're two shitty people, living in a shitty world. It's better if you just admit to your faults now and show the real you, instead of hiding behind the past and acting as if you're so perfect, because, to be honest, you're not."
"I have admitted to the shit I've done wrong, Cook. Unlike you, who takes pride in screwing people over."
"I take pride in screwing people over, you take pride in them screwing you." Cook quips, smirking, seemingly proud of himself, while Victoria's cheeks burned a fire red from embarrassment and fury.
"I take pride in people screwing me, right. Of course I do." Victoria nods her head. Men always compared her to a whore. Why, though? For the shape of her body? For the unwanted attention she gained from them? Women will be called a whore for simply talking to a guy, while men will be boosted up for sleeping with 10 girls in a single week and just get called experienced from it. It wasn't fair, but then again, life was never fair. But Cook didn't have a right to always speak to her as if she was some slut he picked up from the corner. He had spoken to her once like this, and she forgave him. He's doing it again, and unlike last time, he won't be coming back from this.
"Next time Freddie and I fuck on my countertop, I'll make sure to send you a video just so you know how much pride I feel when his dick is inside of me." Victoria's lip curls upwards, glaring with a sense of disgust and disappointment. She thought more of Cook, but her opinion had changed quicker than flipping a light switch.
"What?" His mouth parted in shock, staring at her with a look of betrayal and hurt. He was hurt. How dare he be hurt when he was fucking Panda and Effy behind her back? He had no right to feel betrayed. "You and him fucked?"
Again.
"Don't act so surprised, Cook." Victoria's bare feet padded against the cold floor as she gently walked towards him. "Everyone knows who the better man is, and it's certainly not you. Effy knows it, I know it, Panda knows it, fuck, Cook! Even your own parents know it. That's why they left you, right?" Cook's eyes washed with tears, avoiding her eye contact as his eyes batted away from her contact, ignoring her painful remarks. "Nobody fucking wants you. People want me. So no, Cook, we aren't the same. Because I'm loved, all you can do is love and hope to god someone will be high enough one day to love you back."
For once in James Cook's life, he was speechless. The only sound that filled the room were their heavy breathes, the tears falling from his face and gently dropping onto the freezing floor, and the piercing slice tearing his heart apart.
authors note
WHAT THE FUCKKKKK can't tell if i like this or not but yk🤩