Pov Samira
It was raining, and I looked at the sky with boredom. I was about to land. It had been six years since I'd set foot on my native soil, Islamabab. I was back for good, I had graduated and had worked for a short time as a lawyer in New Zealand, I was planning to open my own practice in Pakistan and had already made the necessary arrangements.
"You look sad", the lady next to me asked me kindly.
"It's nothing, just tired," I reassured her.
I smiled at her, I didn't really want to go back but I couldn't let my family go through this alone.
My sister's death, I wasn't close to Sonia but I never thought she'd go so suddenly, her accident was fatal.
I still remember the sobbing call I got from my mother.
"She's dead, she's dead"
"Who Ammi?"
"Sonia, your didi is dead, a drunk driver killed her".
"Ammi, no that's impossible, didi can't be.... "
"Samira come back, please, your father and I, we lost our first daughter, we don't want to stay away from you, please come back"
"Ammi, don't cry, I'll stay with you"
It took longer than expected because of the epidemic but here I am, 5 months later, heading for my capital. I finally landed and collected my luggage.
I gave my address to the taxi man, and he finally arrived at my house. I couldn't help but feel nostalgic when I smelt that childhood scent, I was home.
I drifted upstairs and recognised my mother lying on the bed, her face exhausted, asleep, I smiled sadly and caressed her face.
"Ammi?" I called softly.
She opened her eyes and looked at me for a long moment before her eyes moistened. She took me in her arms and hugged me tightly.
"You're here at last!" she said in a broken voice.
"I'm sorry I'm late, Ammi," I said guiltily.
I don't know how many nights, my mother must have cried thinking about my sister's absence with my father, and I felt so bad knowing that I wasn't there in those moments.
"Abu, where is he?" I asked her.
"At work, he'll be back soon, come on, I'll cook your favourite dishes for you" she said with a slight smile.
I left to shower and change my clothes, my room hadn't changed a bit, everything was the same, for some reason I didn't know, my heart urged me to go to my big sister's room, her things hadn't changed either, I rummaged through her wardrobe and found the famous red t-shirt. I remembered how we'd fought over it and in the end she got it because it wasn't my size.
I laughed to myself as I suddenly felt my cheeks moisten.
"Allah, she was horrible to me, but forgive her," I said.
I missed her, the house was empty, and the atmosphere wasn't the same, suddenly I felt arms around me.
"Abu" I said as I felt her hand rest on my head.
"Don't cry, we can't get back what we've lost, but you're here" he said, reassuring me.
I stayed in his arms for a long time, crying until I calmed down. We left to join my mother when I recognised my sister's family-in-law sitting on the table.
"Assalam alaikum" I greeted them with a smile as they replied
"Are you back Samira?" asked Ms Farooqi.
"Yes, I plan to stay with my parents" I said.
She smiled at my words. "You're doing the right thing, your parents need you to get through this ordeal" she said sadly.
Everyone's gaze became hard, Sonia had left a void and a trauma for everyone, suddenly, the cries of babie cut the silence of the meal.
"Oh no, Rizwan has woken up" said Ameera, Mrs Farooqi's daughter.
She went over to the pushchair and cradled the baby in her arms. But he wouldn't stop crying, and finally Mrs Farooqi got up to cradle her grandson.
I approached him gently, and strangely, he stopped crying when he saw me. He waved his arms as if he wanted to come to me.
"Here, take him, you've never held your nephew before", Mrs Farooqi said to me gently.
Even though I was scared, I held him gently in my arms, he was so tiny, only 5 months old. My heart warmed when I saw him smile at me.
"Hehehehe, he smiled at me, not at you" I said proudly
"It's normal, a baby smiles at another baby" said my mother sarcastically.
Of course everyone here burst out laughing, I didn't blame her, at least they were laughing after a long time.
Rizwan looked a lot like my sister.
"Hey, sweetheart, do you know who I am? I'm your khala, your khala" I said, making him laugh.
The family looked at me attentively, and I questioned them with my eyes.
"Nothing, it's just that Rizwan is usually a rather difficult baby, he doesn't like strangers and it's hard for him to calm down, but with you, it's magic" Ameera told me, astonished.
I smiled, it seemed like someone liked me, just as I liked him too, I felt a very strong bond with him, which was strange, I've never been close to his mother.
"I'm sorry I'm late, there was a lot of traffic," said a deep voice.
I turned towards him, his face tired and pale, and it took him a moment to recognise me.
"Samira?" he asked, surprised to see me.
My heart was racing, I hadn't seen him for a while, I was so dreading seeing him. "He's your brother-in-law! You can't have that kind of reaction," I reminded my mind mentally.
"Assalam Alaikum" I said, smiling.
"Walaikum Assalam" he said, smiling slightly.
I turned my attention back to the family, not wanting to betray my body's reactions.
"I'm going to take Rizwan to my room, so you can eat quietly," I warn them.
Before anyone could say anything, I was back in my room, with Rizwan on my lap.
"I'm sorry to have used you as an alibi, but your Abu is dangerous for me", I apologise.
I tickled him and played with him, MashaAllah my nephew was so beautiful.
**************************************
Pov Esan
I ate my meal silently, I was pleasantly surprised by the atmosphere of the meal, which was usually silent, was moving, Mrs Ghulam told us lots of funny anecdotes about Samira, I didn't think she was so clumsy, I found myself laughing.
"Yes, what's more, after hitting that poor clown who hadn't asked for anything, she stole his hat and came back with it, finally, he took off his make-up and showed her that he was a real man" said Mrs Ghulam, laughing.
I left the table, heading off to pick up my son, whom I hadn't seen for 2 days, I missed him so much. Since Sonia's death, we'd got into the habit of eating the evening meal at my in-laws' house, a way of supporting each other.
I approached the bedroom door and stopped to look at my son. Rizwan was smiling and laughing as he watched his aunt doing silly things.
"Look, I've nicked your nose!" exclaimed Samira, laughing.
My son was fidgeting all over the place, excited by the game his aunt was playing with him.
Rizwan never had a moment like that with his mother, too busy going out, we spent our time arguing from the start of our marriage, I had tried to do my best, but I was never enough for her, I wasn't in love with her but I had become attached to her by the bond that united us, I thought that after the birth of our son, everything would be fine, but no, everything got worse, she wouldn't look at me, I could bear that, but to look after our child, she refused and that hurt me, and that day we argued about it, she told me that marriage wasn't for her after all and that I was oppressing her and that was the last thing I heard from her, a few hours later she was no longer of this world.
"If you want to be a good wife and mother to your son, all you had to do was marry Samira, I can't be manipulated like her" she shouted hatefully at me before leaving
At that moment, I realised the mistake I had made, appearance wasn't everything, it was all because of my ego, my rabb punished me, and my son found himself unable to find a mother's love.
Samira finally noticed me, and folded her purple dupatta over her chudidar of the same colour.
I liked her modesty and the colour suited her well, but I realised how strange it was to be watching her hidden away.
"I've come to fetch Rizwan," I said softly.
She nodded and handed him to me, but as soon as she handed him back to me, he started to cry heavily, until Samira took him back and he calmed down automatically, making his aunt laugh.
"I know someone who's developed a chacchi-complex" I said, looking at my son.
"You shouldn't say that, he's a sweetheart" said Samira before placing a kiss on her nephew's cheek.
I watched as my son fell asleep in her arms.
Her hair falling back to the front, she looked like a mother with her son.
"Can I keep him tonight? "she asked without looking at me in a small voice.
I nodded as I watched her make those cat eyes, did she have such power to make anyone capitulate? I finally nodded and she thanked me like an excited child, putting my son back on his bed.
"I'll look after him, you can come and get him tomorrow," she promised.
"Thank you, I trust you Samira, and congratulations" I said sincerely.
She questioned me with her eyes.
"For discovering that clowns are men in disguise" I said, masking my laughter.
Her head reddened like never before. "As soon as I got home Ammi was already humiliating me" she pouted.
She was cute with her cheeks puffed out.
"Don't sulk, it's cute of you and I'd like to congratulate you on opening your law firm" I said.
She gave me a huge smile as she thanked me, and I felt my heart swell and relax. I stepped back, unsettled by the reaction she was provoking with a simple smile of her own. "You missed your chance", my conscience told me, but I didn't understand what he meant by that, kissed my son and left Samira's room.
I got into my car with my parents, prayed and lay down on my bed thinking, my heart was light.
"What had I missed my chance for?" I asked myself, unable to find the answer.
"If you want to be a good wife and mother to your son, all you had to do was marry Samira, I can't be manipulated like her"
Sonia's words keep repeating in my head, she was wrong. Samira couldn't be manipulated, she simply had a big golden heart that I broke with my superficial side, I looked at her body not her soul.
My mind went blank and I ended up falling asleep.