Ridonculous race x male reader

By oranged1

4.6K 169 33

18 teams, 1 million dollars and a race around the world. Who will win? (y/n)'s in and him and Tyler are ready... More

None Down, Eighteen to Go part 1
None down, Eighteen to go part 2
Eiffel Language
Mediterranean Homesick Blues
Bjorken Telephone
Brazilian Pain Forest
A Tisket, a Casket, I'm Gonna Blow a Gasket
Hello and Dubai
New Beijinging
I love Ridonc & Roll

Hawaii Honeyruin

224 13 2
By oranged1

Don narrating: Last time on the Ridonculous Race, our teams paid a visit to Count Dracula's creepy crib, and it terrified everyone... almost. Oh yes, the Goths cracked their first smiles, but other teams cracked under the pressure! the Daters only accomplishing the 'barely', 'botched' and 'bicker' parts. While the Ice Dancers grabbed first place, I think Emma may have unknowingly caught Noah's heart. Sadly, Tom and Jen had creative differences, and by the time they ironed them out, it was too late. Who will fez their way off this week? Hold onto your hats! It's time for. The Ridonculous Race!

Don: We're back in Transylvania, where yesterday's first place team is about to get today's first travel tip!

Jacques and Josee walk up to the Don Box, Jacques hits the button on top and Josee collects the tip

Josee: Take a donkey cart to Bucharest and fly to, HAWAII!!!

Don: Hawaii! Home of beautiful sunshine, ukuleles and shirts that should only be worn ironically!

Don is next to an airport, a Don Box wearing a tourist shirt is next to him.

Don: Once teams land they'll need to find this Don Box! *Taps his earpiece* Hahaha, very funny. Was that you, Wardrobe?

Laughing is heard on the other end. Cut to the Ice Dancers, Reality TV Pros, and Sisters all on a wagon pulled by a donkey, Josee and Jacques are driving in the front while the others are in the wagon, Kitty and Owen have started a game of charades, Kitty is mimicking taking a picture with a camera

Owen: Oh, oh, I'm good at this game! Uh, um goalposts! No, a rectangle face? A box of candy!

Kitty facepalms as Jacques and Josee glare at the four

Josee confessional: Playing is for children, we stay focused on our goals at all times!

Jacques confessional: I'm so focused, I haven't washed my boxers since the race started!

Josee confessional: That's not focused. That's gross.

Jacques confessional: Well maybe some people think your lucky rabbit's foot is gross, eh?

Josee pulls out Bub-Bun

Josee confessional: Don't listen to him, Bun-Bun.

She kisses it, back outside, Owen is still guessing

Owen: Cheesecake?

Kitty: Click!

Owen: Oh, exploding chocolate cheesecake!

Emma: Camera. It's a camera. She said click! How did you not get that? Did you hear that?

Cut to Noah's POV, it is tinted pink and hearts surround Emma.

Emma: How do you put up with this all day long? Um, what's his problem? Hey! Earth to weirdo. Hello? Hello? Ugh.

Owen: You okay buddy?

Noah: My stomach feels funny.

Owen: Do you have to make boom boom?

the wagon starts to roll over some bumps in the road, the wagon rattles around. In the commotion, Josee doesn't notice Bun-Bun slip from her pocket, it falls onto the ground. The next car, which has Father and Son, Mom and Daughter and the Stepbrothers rolls up a few meters behind them

Chet: Ugh, this donkey reeks!

Lorenzo: He said the same thing about you!

Chet: Pfft, a talking donkey?! Yeah, cause that's possible!

Lorenzo: It must be possible cause you're talking right now! Booyeah! Call me when you got a comeback!

Chet: Lorenzo is a poo-head!

Lorenzo: Oh yeah?! Chet's a tool stool!

Dwayne Jr: How old are those two?

Dwayne: Never mind them! Some people just don't appreciate quality family time!

He wraps Junior into a forced hug, which Junior doesn't like

Dwayne: Right sporto?

Dwayne Jr: Uh, yeah, sure dad...

Taylor: You're so lucky you got to bring your dad.

Dwayne: Oh, I'm the lucky one! I bet doing this trip with your mom is pretty awesome too, though, right?

Taylor: Not really.

Kelly: Taylor's more of a "daddy's girl".

Taylor: Daddy and I have loads in common like we both love being successful and we both hate avocado.

Pan down to the next wagon, it has (y/n) and Tyler, Rockers and Police Cadets, MacArthur and Sanders are driving the wagon. The donkey lets out a fart and everyone except Sanders, who plugs her nose, laughs.

Tyler: From Transylvania to Hawaii? Man, this race is epic!

MacArthur: Woo, donkey! Right back at ya! 

She let's out a fart in front of Sanders' face

MacArthur confessional: I can't back down from a good fart-down. Personal pride. *Tenses* Oh-oh. Hang on. We got some gale-force winds moving into the area!

She gets ready to fart

Sanders confessional: And I'm out.

She runs away

MacArthur confessional: Oh, uh where you goin'?! You're gonna miss- uh, you're gonna miss the show!

A loud fart is heard, MacArthur immediately stands straight up, covering her butt

MacArthur confessional: Uh-oh. I've got a code six. Officer needs TP.

She runs off, the Best Friends, Goths and Adversity Twins all share a wagon, Devin snores as Ennui and Crimson steer the donkey. Crimson and Ennui sigh in disappointment

Ennui confessional: Leaving Romania is tough. But leaving Romania to go to a tropical paradise full of sunshine and happiness?

They sigh, depressed, again. The Daters have their own wagon

Stephanie: I need a whip. Do you have a whip?

Ryan: Uh, not last time I looked.

Stephanie: Open your eyes! Our donkey is going way slower than the other ones; it wants us to lose!

Stephanie confessional: I'm not too competitive.

Ryan confessional: *cough* Yes you are *cough*

Stephanie confessional: Are you okay, sugar-plum?

Ryan nods innocently

Stephanie confessional: I just wanna win. And this IS a competition, so yeah! *Angrily* When things get tense, we can't hold back! We gotta dig deep! Work hard! Give it everything!

Stephanie glares at Ryan back on the wagon.

Ryan: I don't think the donkey really cares if-

Stephanie ignores him and jumps off the wagon and walks in front of the donkey, who just looks up, bored

Stephanie: Move it, ya horse wanna-be! You know how important this is?! We are NOT coming in last place because of you!

The donkey doesn't respond, Ryan looks at the camera in tense fear

Stephanie: Mush! Mush!

Stephanie confessional: We were so stressed out. But then it didn't even matter because all the teams are on the same flight!

After a couple of hours, the plane lands in Hawaii. Jay and Mickey make it outside first and walk by a lady with a basket full of flower necklaces

Don: As is the custom in Hawaii, teams are greeted with a lovely necklace made of local flowers.

The lady holds one up for the teams to see

Jay: Oh, wow, hi.

The lady walks towards them, but they both cringe

Jay: Those aren't *fearfully* Orchids!!!

He runs off in panic, but the lady glares at Jay intensely and tosses the necklace. It sails right towards Jay, who is running

Mickey: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

He jumps for the necklace but misses, it lands right on top of Jay's head, who immediately begins to sneeze

Mickey confessional: Oh boy, oh boy, they sure like their traditions around here!

Jay confessional: I'm severely allergic to orchids.

Sneezes all over Mickey, who cringes. Owen and Noah make their way to the Don Box, but as they're about to collect the tip, Emma shoves them aside, both grunting

Emma: This is ours! You might as well give up now. 

Owen: Uh oh. Prepare to get Noah-ed

Cut to Noah's POV, it is tinted pink and hearts surround Emma.

Owen: Um. Any second now, he's just thinking and then bam. Noah.

Kitty presses the button on the Don Box and starts to read the tip.

Kitty: It's a Botch or Watch! Whoever didn't do gymnastics in Romania has to go diving for wedding rings.

cut to Don, who is walking along a boardwalk perched above deep water

Don: In this challenge, botchers must dive into Hawaii's most popular wedding bay,

pan down into the water, rings are scattered about

Don: and retrieve the rings from the bottom!

Owen: Then swim to the beach at the tip of the bay to meet your partner.

Kitty: Come on!

Emma and Kitty leave as Noah watches Emma the entire time.

Owen: Noah, let's go!

Noah didn't move.

Owen: Noah? Oh maybe it's rabies.

He picks Noah up and runs off. Jacques and Josee run out. Josee suddenly stops and taps her chin as Jacques runs on without her.

Josee: Something doesn't feel right.

Jacques scooches back towards her. She suddenly gasps

Josee: Bun-Bun! Where's Bun-Bun?!

Jacques: It's okay, we don't need a rabbit's foot! Like you said about my underpants, it's just a silly superstition!

Josee: Okay, take off your lucky gitch then.

Jacques is left speechless, he then runs off 

Josee: That's what I thought!

Jacques spins a couple of times before swan diving into the water. Kitty is preparing to jump next

Emma: You can do it, Kit.

Kitty: It looks pretty deep.

Emma: Pretend it's the pool at Nana's condo, only with less old people floating around. Ready? GO!

She pushes Kitty into the water, Kitty comes up spluttering

Kitty: You shoved me!

Emma: It was a push of encouragement! And your fine, now go get a ring!

Carrie and Devin both share a look until Carrie unexpectedly hugs Devin

Carrie: For luck! *Giggles*

she dives off the peer

Devin: You're gonna rock this!

Carrie smiles until she lands on a rock. A loud crash is heard upon impact, back on the pier MacArthur and (y/n) are about to jump

MacArthur: *grins* Cannonball?

(y/n): Like you have to ask.

The two cheer as they cannonball into the water. Underwater, teams are frantically searching for the rings. Jacques searches in some coral until he pulls out a baby octopus, it squirts ink all over him, causing him to scream and be shot off-screen. The Watchers wait patiently as bubbles float to the surface until Jacques emerges with a ring! He spits out water and holds it up, Josee cheers

Josee runs off

Josee: See you on the beach!

Taylor is warming up for a dive

Kelly: Uh, sweetie? Maybe this is the part where you should be in the water already?

Taylor: Chill, momacita! *Smugly* How many swim medals do I have on my wall? Like, a billion.

Taylor confessional: Daddy had to reinforce the walls so it could hold them all up, and my swim coach told mom I was the best student he'd ever seen!

Kelly confessional: Actually, sweetie-

Taylor confessional: EEEVAH.

Taylor awkwardly dives into the water, spinning out of control until she face plants onto the water and sinks in

Kelly: I might have exaggerated what her swim coach said. Just a tad. *Giggles nervously*.

Pan over to Ryan and Stephanie running along the pier, Stephanie looks ticked off 

Ryan: You're gonna be great! I know it! Just get in there, Steph, and do-

Stephanie: Aw, you're cute. *Sternly* But let's save the pep talks for when your doing something since your the one that struggles!

Ryan raises an eyebrow as she roars and leaps into the water

Ryan: Go team.

Next to him, a sneeze is heard which turns out to be from Jay. He sniffs

Jay: Y'know, I always suspected my orchid allergy was fairly acute.

Mickey: Do you think they're any jellyfish?

Jay: *sneezes* If there are, you already know you're immune. 

Stephanie pops out of the water, coughing and spluttering and without a ring, she looks up at Ryan angrily

Stephanie: Why aren't you helping me?!

Ryan: It's a Botch or Watch! All I can do is watch you... botch!

Stephanie: You are the worst!

Josee is gladly running along the beach

Josee: First place! Given without Bun-Bun! Maybe Jaq's right. I don't need a good-luck charm anymore!

She notices something half-buried in the sand, she skids to a stop

Josee: What?

She pulls out a black rock shaped like a trophy, 

Josee: *gasps* It's so light! And warm! The energy! It's BEAUTIFUL!

She doesn't notice a hook snag onto her jacket

Josee: C'mon, Rock-Rock!

She begins to run off

Josee: We've got a race to win!

Hawaiian native: Wait!

The fishing line pulls her back, Josee looks at him

Hawaiian native: You can't take a lava rock as a souvenir!

Josee throws the hook off

Josee: You have a volcano full of them, just chill out, Grandpa!

She runs off, as she runs she smiles at the rock, unaware of the approaching storm

Don: As the Ice Dancers extend their first-place lead.

and the camera cuts to underwater, (y/n) is searching around a coral reef

Don: The rest of the teams are still searching for rings and coming up short!

(y/n) pulls his arm out of the coral to reveal an eel biting his arm, he screams in agony. Kitty and Stephanie swim towards the same ring on rock, they begin to grapple for it

Don: Some of them might even come up dead!

A shark passes the two

Don: Find out when we return on The Ridonculous Race!

Both girls freeze in panic and hold each other, screaming, as a shark barrels towards them, it opens it's jaws and-

*Commercial Break*

The girls are still screaming as the shark barrels towards them, snarling. Stephanie grins maliciously and charges towards it, forgetting about Kitty and the ring, she punches it in the nose and sends it flying, she grins in victory as it retreats. She looks back at Kitty, with the ring, who waves evilly, and swims to the surface, Stephanie screams in rage.

Back at the dock, Emma and Devin watch as Kitty pops up with a ring

Kitty: Ka-bling!

Carrie swims up next to her with her own ring

Carrie: Got one!

Emma: Yes!

Devin: Carrie, you're amazing!

She blushes and gives a tiny squeal

Kitty: Did you squeal?

Carrie: No! I think it was a, uh, dolphin?

She swims off as Kitty gasps

Kitty: You're in love with him!

Kitty confessional: When love is in the air, I know it. I have a super sensitive love-detector. And the alarms been going off a lot lately.

Emma confessional: What are you talking about?

Kitty confessional: Nothing. Soooo, notice any guys on the other teams looking your way.

Emma confessional: No.

Kitty mimics a buzzer.

Emma confessional: Ugh! Stop it! You're being-

She doesn't stop, rather she begins to mimic a fire alarm. Emma walks off, leaving Kitty mimic all sorts of alarms.

Carrie: But we've been friends for so long, and anyway he has a girlfriend, so please don't say anything! Pleease??

Kitty: I promise I won't.

She starts to swim ahead.

Kitty: But someone should, y'know?

Carrie thinks about that

Don: As more teams continue to find rings, our first place Ice Dancers say aloha to challenge number one, and aloha to challenge number two.

Jacques runs out of the water, reunites with Josee in front of the Don Box, and the two begin to kiss and wave to the camera

Josee: We're still in first place! And check it out-

She pulls out Rock-Rock.

Josee: New good-luck charm! It's a lava rock.

Jacques: Nothing can stop us now!

Josee hits the button on the Don Box and grabs the tip

Josee: It's an All-In! In this Hawaiian wedding ritual, teams must walk on- *gasps*

Don: FIRE!

Pan over to see the host walking along hot coals bare-foot

Don: Technically coals! In this challenge, brides wear a grass skirt

He pulls one out

Don: and grooms wear a wreath of mahi lei as they carry their brides across this path of hot coals.

He winces at the pain

Don: Ooh. It's a test of strength, and honor!

Suddenly both pieces catch on fire, he begins to prance on the coals

Don: And if any part of it catches on fire, grass skirt included, it's back to the start!

He yelps and runs to where the Dancers are standing, smoke curls from the burnt skirt, wreath and Don's feet, the clothing turns to ash and dissipates

Don: Once they reach the end untoasted, it's the race to the Chill Zone.

Pan over to the Carpet laid out next to a gazebo and some tiki dolls. Don holds his burnt foot in pain

Don: Great. Now I've gotta take foot modeling off my resume!

In the water, Stephanie is searching the entire place for a ring, lifting up some rocks to find one but to no avail. Mickey reaches his hand into a hole in a rock, he accidentally grabs an electric eel which shocks him. Noah spots two rings next to each other, he looks around to make sure no one's looking, then snatches both of them up, he swims back up to the surface. Owen and Ryan watch from the pier as Stephanie emerges

Stephanie: Nothing!

Noah pops up and shows two rings.

Noah: I got two!

Owen: Yes!

Noah swims off

Stephanie: *groans* Don't even say a word!

Ryan: Uh, I wasn't gonna.

Stephanie delves back down

Owen: She seems nice.

Owen runs off, Kelly waits nervously for Taylor until she pops up, holding a ring

Kelly: Atta girl! Now swim to the beach as fast as you can, okay?

Taylor: Don't sweat it, mom! I'm serving up this challenge with a side order of chipotle!

She doggie paddles off, Kelly just laughs nervously. Owen runs alongside Noah, who is swimming, until he suddenly screams and flails around and gets dunked.

Noah: Somethings got me! Shark!

He gets dragged back under and swims back up

Noah: Shark!

He's dragged back under

Owen: Oh my gosh, Noah! Somebody help him! Why wasn't I born a merman?!

Noah and Mickey pop out of the surface.

Mickey: Please tell me you're a ring?

Noah : Aw man, I was gonna sell this one for cash.

He pulls the second ring off his finger and presses it into Mickey's hand

Noah: Here.

Owen: Noah's dying!

Noah confessional: I'm not getting soft or anything. Mickey was just so pathetic. Yes, I've been a little distracted by Emma lately, but it's not some whole thing where i'm all warm and gushy like a fresh chocolate chip cookie and I suddenly want to do nice things for people just because i'm falling for-

He realizes what he said and panics.

Noah confessional: Ugh! Give me back that ring.

Cut to Jacques walking along the coals wearing the costume, he's holding Josee, who is also wearing the costume, above his head.

Josee: That's it, Jacques. Moving ahead. Just like the Olympics, this is one ginormous mind game.

Jacques: This challenge is pretty easy.

Josee: That's right! You're just walking! There are no coals!

Jacques stops abruptly and his feet randomly catch fire

Jacques: I forgot about the coals!

He screams as his necklace catches fire, he drops Josee on the sand and runs past (y/n), Tyler, who are putting their costumes on. He jumps into the water and douses the flames, he sighs in relief. Tyler carries (y/n) on the coals.

(y/n): Remember when I dared you to touch a rock in the middle of a frozen lake but you broke through the ice and fell in the freezing water? Aw, so cold!

Tyler: Yeah, yeah! Keep it coming!

(y/n): And-and that day your tongue froze to the flag pole! Or when I dumped that cherry slush down your tracksuit pants? That was hilarious!

Tyler reaches the end of the coals and sets (y/n) down.

Tyler: I did it!

(y/n): First place! Let's head to the Chill Zone! 

He runs off as Tyler winces in pain and hops on one food

Tyler: Oh, man I'd loved to stick my feet in tub full of cherry slush right now.

Cut back to the start of the coals, the Best Friends, Sisters and Reality TV Pros have arrived, Noah looks at Emma lovingly as she puts on her costume.

Carrie: Hey Kit, could you help tie this?

Kitty ties the back of her skirt

Carrie: You really think I should say something to Devin?

Kitty: Life's short, and he's really cute! What if he feels the same way?

She walks off as Carrie looks at Devin, and considers her words. Kitty walks up to Owen

Kitty: Hey, we're both grooms! Cool!

Owen: Not for me. I'm about to marry a dead person.

Kitty: What?

Owen: He's drooling, smiling, acting sincere. He is so sick.

Kitty: No, he just likes my sister.

Owen: But, he's all goofy and awkward and, oh *giggles*

Kitty: Yep, that is one serious crush.

Stephanie pops out of the water

Stephanie: There are no more rings! None!

Ryan: There have to be! Keep looking! C'mon, Steph, you can-

Stephanie: What part of NONE do you not understand?! Zero more! All gone! Less than one! Get it?!

Ryan: Your race-rage is out of control and I am this close to leaving!

Stephanie: I'm sorry, what?! Race-rage?

Ryan: Your sweet, Stephanie. But when things get competitive, you turn into a raging, psychotic bull!

Stephanie: Bulls! Are! MALE!

Ryan: Whatever! She-bull!

The two sit and pout

Don: As our last place lovers exchange sweet nothings, all the other teams work on the second challenge!

Kelly watches as Taylor doggie-paddles

Don: Well, nearly all.

Kelly: She's a tinge faster with a flutter board.

Cut back to the costume area, MacArthur and Sanders are arguing

MacArthur: Oh, I don't skirt.

She hands the skirt to Sanders.

Sanders: I had a feeling you'd say that.

Dwayne Jr: I can't wear the skirt! Every kid at school is gonna see this!

Dwayne: Yeah, but if I wear it, pal, you'll have to carry me over hot coals. I'm sure the kids at school won't make a big deal out of it. Besides, I don't want you to get burned!

Dwayne Jr: My classmate, Larry Finkle, spent all last year getting shoved into the girls change room because his name rhymes with tinkle!

He shoves the skirt back towards Dwayne and puts a necklace on

Dwayne Jr: Let's do this.

He walks to the coals as Dwayne snickers.

Dwayne: Tinkle. 

Lorenzo and Chet both stare intensely at a skirt.

Chet: Rock, paper, scissors?

Lorenzo: YOU wear it. I'm not the girl.

Chet: *scoffs* And I am?!

Lorenzo: You said it, not me, skirt face. 

Carrie and Devin get ready to go

Carrie: We are so gonna win this and- OH! 

Devin suddenly scoops her into his arms

Carrie: Wow.

She smiles lovingly

Carrie: Hehe, yep. Us so winning...

Devin: Time to walk the walk! 

He begins to walk on the coals, Carrie hugging him for support. At the Chill Zone, Don is sipping on a straw from a coconut, he sighs contently until shouts of joy from (y/n) and Tyler are heard. The duo run onto the carpet

Don: (y/n), Tyler. Congratulations, you're today's winners!

(y/n): Awesome!

Tyler: Yes!

The two hug

(y/n): I love you, man.

Tyler: I'd marry you all over again!

Don sips his coconut milk.

Don: I love weddings. 

Josee prepares to walk the coals, she begins to run. She gets past the Best Friends, but Jacques screams as his skirt catches fire. Josee runs back and throws him in the water. Rock wears his skirt like a wig, getting Spud's thumb of a approval. Taylor hits the Don Box button and gets her tip and reads it

Taylor: No way am I walking on hot coals.

Taylor confessional: Do you have any idea how much my gel pettie costs?

Kelly confessional: Uh, yes, because I paid for it.

Taylor confessional: Just listen to the leader!

Kelly confessional: And why do you think YOU'RE the leader?

Taylor confessional: I'm the one with Leader-in-Training certification. You're welcome.

Kelly scowls. Back on the coals, Devin and Carrie finish the walk. Devin sighs with relief while Carrie giggles until Josee shouts at them

Josee: All right, Best Friends! Move it or lose it!

Jacques charges towards them

Carrie: Run!

Jacques runs off the coals and chases them down. The Best Friends and Ice Dancers race for second

Josee: Believe in the lava rock, and we'll own the podium!

Carrie: Almost there!

It's neck and neck for the Carpet, until Jacques speeds up and passes them, when he suddenly trips on a rock, dropping Josee. They fall two inches away from the carpet and Carrie and Devin run onto it

Don: Carrie, Devin congrats! You're in second place!

Devin puts a hand on Carrie's should as she laughs. Jacques and Josee run onto the carpet next

Jacques, Josee. You've come in third.

Josee confessional: NOOOO!!! Not again! Bronze is the worst medal! The road to shame is paved with bronze!

Jacques cries. Back at the costume area, Crimson is coloring her skirt black with a black marker

Ennui: She only wears black. Even if its grass, it must be black grass.

MacArthur and Eva walk across the coals with no problem. Behind them, Chet is being carried by Lorenzo. For some reason, Chet is wearing a coconut bra with no shirt on

Lorenzo: Get your pits off my face!

Chet: Get your face out of my pits!

Dwayne Jr struggle to hold Dwayne up, Mickey is giving Jay a piggyback ride, Jay keeps sneezing

Mickey confessional: We've never heard of mahi lei leaves before.

Jay confessional: Guess it's time to order another medical alert bracelet.

Noah, Owen, Emma, Kitty, reach the carpet next, Noah is looking at Emma lovingly again

Don: fourth and fifth place!

They all cheer, Dwayne and Dwayne Jr run up next

Don: Sixth place.

The Stepbrothers walk up next

Don: Seventh.

Kelly carries Taylor along the coals. Taylor's skirt suddenly catches fire, causing the brat to scream

Taylor: Fire!!!

Kelly throws her in the sand and starts throwing sand at her to put out the flames

Taylor: MOM! My extensions!

Pan over to the carpet, the Police Cadets have arrived

Don: Cadets in Eight.

Mickey and Jay walk up next

Don: Ninth.

The Goths walk up next, both have black marker drawings on them) 

Don: Tenth. 

Rock and Spud are next

Don: Eleventh!

Taylor and Kelly walk up next

Don: Twelth place.

Kelly: Well, honey, it wasn't pretty but-

Taylor: You need to step your game up, mother. For serious.

Kelly: We're a team, Taylor.

Taylor: I know you aren't used to winning, like me, but maybe you need to follow my example more! Because-

Kelly: *angry* You've never won anything in your life, Taylor! Ever! Not one race, not one medal, nothing!

Taylor: Wait, what?! My room is full of trophies and medals!

Kelly: Because your dad bought a trophy store! What kind of trophies come in the mail?! And guess who paid your coaches to lie? Yep. Daddy.

Taylor: Beauty pageants! I won beauty pageants! You can't fake those!

Kelly: Oh-ho-ho, oh honey. When you have enough cash, you can fake anything.

Taylor: *gasps*

Don: The coals were hot, but that was COALD!

Cut to later in the day, the Daters finally get to the coals

Stephanie: Ugh, you smell like smoked meat.

Ryan: You shouldn't insult someone that can drop you onto hot coals!

Stephanie: If you do, I'll tell everybody that your pecs are actually implants!

Carrie and Devin are sitting on a rock, listening to their conversation

Ryan: MY PECS ARE REAL!

Devin: Wow. Those are some fireworks.

Carrie: Uh-huh. Uh, Devin? I'm so glad that we're here together, and-

Devin: Me too. It is so amazing I'm here with you and not Shelly. Shells and I would probably be just like them.

He points to the Daters.

Devin: half the time. But you and me? Never. And that's what's perfect about being Best Friends. We're honest and nice to each other.

Carrie: Aw... that is so sweet.

She gives Devin a hug

Devin: Well, I'm gonna crash. Night, homie.

He begins to walk off

Carrie: Hey, Devin.

He looks back at her

Carrie: Thanks. For being an awesome friend.

Devin: Right back at ya.

He walks off, whistling, as she smiles and blushes to herself. Ryan and Stephanie reach the carpet

Don: Stephanie. Ryan, I'm sorry. You're the last team to arrive.

Stephanie roars angrily but it dies quickly.

Ryan: We're eliminated?

He sets Stephanie down

Ryan: Great! Cuz Steph, you're eliminated from this!

He flexes

Stephanie: You're breaking up with me?! On national television?!

Don: International, actually. We're huge in Crowachia, but I should tell you that-

Stephanie: You can't dump me! I dump you!

Don: Here's the funny thing-

Ryan: Fine! Because-

Don: I'ts a non-elimination round! Congratulations! You're still in the race!

Ryan: Fine!

Stephanie: Fine!

Ryan: Fine!

Stephanie: Fine!

Ryan: Fine!

Stephanie: Fine!

They continue to do this as Don does the outro

Don: Come back next time for more heart-breaking action here on. The Ridonculous Race!

Ryan: Fine!

Stephanie: Fine!

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❝all i can say is it was enchanting to meet you ❞ | tyler posey social media fanfic | all rights reserved to BROOKESMCCALL
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from a dingy old camp to an abandoned movie lot. Now 18 teens travel in a jumbo jet where he'll take the contestants all over the world to do new, cr...