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T H E F A L C O N A N D
T H E W I N T E R S O L D I E R
31
"You are my light and my shield."
Riga, Latvia
July, 2024
SAM HAD DEALT WITH a lot of things after joining the Avengers. The conditioning of Bucky and Lucy were one of few things he'd seen. It was one of few things he was able to help them with. The thing was. . .Sam had taken the time to learn extensively about Verfall and Winter. But Sam didn't know enough about the Weapon and the Asset. Because he hadn't ever seen it after the fight with the helicarriers.
So Sam. . .Sam was at a loss.
He kept glancing back in the rearview mirror of their stolen–borrowed–vehicle. Bucky and Lucy were sitting on opposite sides, refusing to look or touch each other. Sam knew Alexander fucking Pierce didn't like it when the pair touched each other, even if it was just a hug or a handshake. It was ridiculous and made something fiery brew in Sam's stomach.
But Pierce was dead and Sam was driving through Riga in order to find a safehouse Bucky–the Asset– was guiding him to. An old HYDRA base that Bucky, when he was actually Bucky, used after removing the agents from the vicinity back in the day.
The Asset was eerily quiet, and so was the Weapon. If he didn't keep looking back in the rearview mirror, he wouldn't think they were still alive.
"Right turn here, Sam." The Asset directed.
Sam hid the way he wanted to cringe inside.
If it had been Bucky who'd said that, Sam would have rolled his eyes, told him to look up the location so he didn't need to be an annoying GPS. But it wasn't. No, the Asset would be afraid of him if he tried to joke like that. Or he would get angry.
He didn't know which one was worse.
And it broke his heart.
"Closest building to the left." The Asset said.
Sam slowed the car down, parking against the street as he turned the car off. He glanced back at the pair– a habit, now, really– and let out a sigh. He immediately regretted it when the Asset and the Weapon both stiffened.
He cleared his throat then, feeling guilty.
"We're gonna go in there, and I want you to clear the area out to make sure no one hostile is around." Sam started, trying to sound as kind and gentle as possible. "Can you do that?"
The Asset inclined his head, staring at the mission handler– Sam– like he didn't understand how good the Asset was.
"Yes, Sam." The Asset stated.
If Sam didn't know better, he would think the Asset was giving him a side eye for doubting his abilities. Right, Sam didn't really need to coddle him or the Weapon, unless it came to things like food, clothing and shelter. And sleeping. He decided to ignore the last one because how horrible must've been to not be able to sleep unless you were ordered to?
How terrible was it that John Walker, the dick who had triggered Bucky in the first place by throwing him into a pole filled with live wires, talked about him like he was still nothing more than an asset? As if his life meant nothing?
Sam ignored it all.
He needed to focus on his two friends-turned-weapons.
They exited the vehicle, pulling themselves out with ease. Sam winced when he noticed the broken bones in Lucy's hand– it was brutal, purple and swollen. Bucky looked alright, minus the bruises mottling his face and the way he seemed to limp.
Sam pulled open the trunk, grabbing the shield still covered in blood and a survival bag. He couldn't help the regret in his gut. He also knew Bucky wasn't happy with him, even after Sam tried to explain his thinking behind the shield. He exhaled, tucking the shield under his arm.
He turned his head to the safehouse– an apartment complex connected to other apartments. The Asset was waiting at the door, patient with the Weapon remaining by Sam's side. He gave her a nod, before turning to the Asset. They traveled up the stairs as the Asset broke the doorknob.
Well, Sam thought to himself, it was better than kicking the door down.
They entered the building, the Asset walking past the light switch. The Weapon followed suit, dutifully behind Sam with a protective stance. It was quiet, silent except for Sam's footsteps. He winced to himself– he couldn't be as silent as the Asset or the Weapon.
They passed a living room that Sam only saw for a split second before the Asset stilled. He turned, gazing at Sam with hidden confusion.
The Weapon stepped forward.
"The Weapon requests that the mission handler remains in the living room." The Weapon looked at the Asset, before quickly letting her eyes dart away.
Sam blinked, looking between them with confusion. The Asset's eyes narrowed on the Weapon, tension rising in his shoulders. The Weapon's shoulders dropped, attempting to make herself smaller. The Asset looked pleased if the Asset could even be pleased.
"The Asset requests the Weapon remain with the mission handler for maximum safety." The Asset stated.
"Oh, yeah man." Sam nodded his head.
The Asset gave him a weird look, before turning on his heel and traveling down the hall. The Weapon waited patiently for Sam to turn around. Sam grimaced as he followed the Weapon into the living room. What he saw made him pause, confused.
There were two very large dog beds in the center of the room. A coffee table and couches were pushed against the wall. Sam blinked when he recognized two old and dusty rubik's cubes nestled in each bed. Wait a second. His eyes darted to the Weapon.
The Weapon had lowered herself to the floor, fingers brushing against the dog bed.
"I don't–" The Weapon–no, it was Lucy, thank God, "I don't remember this. I. . .I didn't remember this."
She sounded horrified, uncertain.
Her eyes lifted to Sam.
Sam pursed his lips.
"One of our commanders– the only one who wasn't a Rumlow– his name was Volya. He would uh– he would compare us to dogs." Lucy swallowed hard. "We were here on a surveillance mission. They were testing out new STRIKE team members, and every time they did that they uh, always made them stay overnight with us– to see if they would survive."
"That night, Volya went out, but the dog jokes he'd been making had stuck with them." Lucy's voice quieted all of a sudden, her eyes darting above her. "I guess, they thought it would be funny if. . .if we. . ."
Sam remained silent as one of her hands moved to her neck, like something was constricting her breath. She grasped a glistening gold chain, thin and not alway visible. She grasped the pendant connected to it– Sam had only seen it a few times before.
"Lucy." Sam's voice was quiet. "You're not there anymore."
Lucy bit the inside of her lip.
"I killed them all." She continued. "I killed them all because they tried to touch Winter. They tried to touch him and it was the first time I had ever seen them try to– try to do it. So I killed them all because I wanted to. When Volya came back he was surprised and a little disappointed in his team. He was never upset towards us. Told me he was glad I protected Winter."
Lucy clenched her hands into fists.
"It's my fault." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I killed them."
Sam knew it must've been traumatizing if she could barely remember being here. Her memory was better than any he ever knew, so, it was a little daunting that whatever happened here was something Lucy didn't even try to forget– her mind simply protected her from it.
Lucy suddenly stiffened, standing to her feet.
Her expression twisted, before flattening all together.
Sam blinked, before turning around and seeing the Asset appear in the doorway.
The Asset looked at the Weapon, and the Weapon lowered her head. The Asset did not say anything, eyes darting to Sam with a chilling emptiness he had started getting used to.
"The location is clear." The Asset stated.
Sam gave him a nod.
"Good, let's get cleaned up." He said, pausing as he turned to Lucy.
Right.
She had shut herself down again, regressing into the Weapon because the Asset was around. It made Sam feel a little lonely. It was hard for him to see them like this—especially when he and Bucky had bickered the entire time they were here. He didn't actually hate him, was the thing. He just hoped Bucky understood that. He hoped Lucy understood that too.
He turned towards the kitchen, the Asset and the Weapon following dutifully behind him. Sam stopped, turning the sink on as he washed his hands with the old soap sitting on the counter. He turned it off after getting the grime on his fingers gone. He almost had a heart attack when he found both weapons standing right behind him.
"Jesus." Sam grimaced.
The Asset took a step back.
"Alright, can you guys sit here?" Sam pulled back two chairs at the table.
The Weapon glanced at the Asset, eyelid twitching. The Asset only inclined his head in response. The pair padded over to the two chairs, slipping into the seats. They remained silent as Sam turned back towards them.
"Uh." Sam suddenly felt dumb.
Lucy could heal wounds and Sam was over here preparing to clean the blood from scrapes and cuts, tending to them like they weren't enhanced. Sam rubbed his temples. He was a literal idiot sometimes. Well, it wasn't his fault the pair were so similar to kids right now.
Oh god, that made it so much worse.
The way Pierce had taken advantage of them when they were so clueless, so unsure about the most mundane things. Sam– Sam couldn't help it as he clutched tightly to the counter of the sink. His knuckles gripped so tightly that Sam probably would have broken the thing if he had the same strength as Bucky.
He clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth.
Damnit, it was so unfair for them.
They wouldn't ever deserve that– they couldn't. They were people too.
"The Asset is sorry."
Sam blinked, breaking himself out of his thoughts.
He turned around, looking at the pair. They weren't sitting on the chair anymore. Instead, they had slipped out of their seats in complete silence, kneeling with their hands clasped behind their backs. Sam let out a pained noise when he realized the Weapon was holding her hands behind her– including the broken one.
Sam immediately approached them, crouching to their height. He grabbed ahold of the Weapon's uninjured hand, removing them. He looked at the Asset, who did not move his head to look back at her. He remembered Natasha talking about the way the Asset would get jealous of the Weapon.
He shook his head to himself.
"Alright, Lu–uh, Weapon, heal your broken bones, and Bu–uh, Asset, let W-Weapon heal any wounds you have." Sam cursed the way he stuttered over their names.
It made him want to throw a chair at a HYDRA agent. Because how could they so easily look at the pair and think, ah, yes, these are weapons and not people? How could they look at their uncertain and terrified eyes and think, ah, yes, let me try to beat the shit out of them because I want to?
Sam felt bile climb his throat.
He shook his head.
They needed his help.
He looked between them as the Weapon started healing her bones, black wisps circling her hand. It was startling, the way the white on the tips of her fingers shifted to something black before becoming white again. After she healed her hand, she turned to the Asset. She placed her hand over the Asset's cheek, and the scrapes on his skin started to dissipate as a black aura covered her hand.
It was like nothing Sam had ever seen before.
She pulled her hand back once the wound was healed.
The pair looked at him for direction again.
Sam stood to his feet.
They didn't remove themselves from the ground.
"Uh, you guys can stand up." He said.
They did so.
It was unnerving, the way they kept looking at him like he was some sort of God, like his words meant everything to like–like he should be worshiped. It made him dislike Rumlow even more than he did so before. He grabbed their survival bag, and started walking towards the stairs leading to the second floor. He knew they were following him only because that was what they had been doing the entire time.
They continued until Sam came across a bathroom. He entered, eyes darting between the toilet and the bathtub. Oh good, great. That was awesome. He turned around, relief settling in his chest as he looked between them.
"Do you know how to take a bath?" Sam asked.
There was a long moment of silence.
"Negative." The Asset replied.
The Weapon opened her mouth, then closed it.
Sam looked at the Asset.
"Okay, um," Sam scratched the side of his head, "so, I'm going to teach you how to run a bath."
Sam stepped forward, turning so he could look at them as he turned the faucet on.
"Adjust the temperature to lukewarm," he explained, "and use the conditioner and shampoo to wash your hair. You can use this bar of soap to wash your body after. Rinse it off and then dry yourself with the towel."
He pointed to each item as he explained, and he was glad that the Asset was very attentive to his words, so he wouldn't have to repeat himself. The Asset padded forwards, and Sam moved to the side as the water continued to run.
Sam opened his mouth to explain the shower head above when the Asset started to remove articles of clothing. His jacket slipped off of him with ease, shirt hitting the ground as his fingers hooked over his pants–
"Stop!" Sam suddenly blurted.
The Asset blinked, turning to look at him.
Sam saw a flash of fear that quickly disappeared.
"Uh, I mean," Sam blinked furiously, flustered by the Asset's movements, "don't change in front of us. I'll be right downstairs with the Weapon, okay? You've got um. . .fifteen minutes."
The Asset inclined his head.
Sam zipped right out of there, shutting the door as the Weapon followed behind him. He released a long breath, before he started down the stairs. The Weapon followed him silently, until they entered the living room area and Sam all but collapsed on the couch.
All of this was so much for him.
His shoulders felt extra heavy and his anger towards HYDRA had increased tenfold, maybe even more. It also made him hate Schaffer so much he wished he could bury the man six feet under.
But, somehow, Lucy still cared about him.
"I'm sorry." Lucy spoke with a quiet voice, like she was afraid the Asset might hear. "This is. . .a lot Sam. I. . .I tried to snap him out of it earlier, but. . .he. . .he got upset."
She slowly lowered herself to sit on the couch next to him.
Sam pursed his lips, gazing at her.
"Is that– was that normal?" He asked, sounding hesitant, like he didn't want to know the answer.
Lucy blinked a few times.
"The uh, stripping in front of commanders, I mean." Sam clarified, wincing when the words left his lips.
Lucy grimaced.
Her eyes darted to the two oversized dog beds, then the wall, then the rubik cubes Volya had forgotten to pack once. That was a difficult question, wasn't it? They used to be stripped down and hosed while naked in front of agents who didn't care. There were only a few times Pierce gave them privacy in shower rooms constructed for agents who might stay overnight.
Sam had never asked a question like that before– he'd read all the files, so. . .well, shouldn't he have known?
"Yes and no." Lucy admitted. "There were very rare times where we were allowed to take showers in front of commanders. In fact, Jack and Brock made sure it didn't happen. I've only ever accidentally uh, did what James did just now to Jack, and he'd been absolutely horrified. But I don't know if it was the same for James. Brock can be. . .well, he isn't a cheater though, so I'm very sure Brock didn't do anything."
She sighed, running a hand through her hair.
"I get it, Sam, this looks all wrong. Nothing– nothing like that happened for decades, Sam. If an agent ever tried to, they would either be killed by me or James, or the Commander. That was just how it was." Lucy turned to look at him.
Sam bit the inside of his lip.
"But it did happen, right?" Sam asked, his voice low and quiet and still.
It wasn't like he didn't know. Sam remembered reading something about it in a conditioning report, but it had been a long time since he'd read those papers and it wasn't like he had a perfect memory. And well, Sam had skimmed over them very quickly. He wasn't sure if that had even been written anywhere.
Besides, there had been so many files he and the rest of the Avengers had read back then.
"I. . ." Lucy fidgeted with her fingers. She didn't want Sam to get the wrong idea. "Not with Henry–"
She suddenly paused, looking at him with wide eyes.
"Henry– Henry isn't like that. He wasn't– he doesn't like those things so Henry never did. I'm pretty sure he's asexual so. So don't blame him." Her words came out rushed. "It never happened until I threw a fit at Pierce. He got real upset after that. So he– well, he didn't do it. That was probably some sort of privilege if he did. It was– there was another agent. I killed him later, but, it was. . .um. . .I can't tell you about James though. That's not my story to tell."
Why was she telling Sam all of this anyway?
She was pathetic and useless– she could have stopped Agent Marks if she really wanted to. She could have ripped everyone in that facility to pieces. She could have hurt them but she knew if she did that James would be hurt.
She couldn't let that happen.
So she endured, she persevered, and now. . .now she was talking to Sam about this. She hadn't personally told anyone except for James. And the notes on her conditioning were often vague. It was informal to do what Agent Marks did, anyway.
"I–" Sam hesitated, "I'll be honest, I don't get what that must've felt like. But I do know that whatever shit they did to you, you never deserved it. I know we all say that– Steve, Natasha, Clint, Tony. Everyone on the team always says it and we always mean it but I don't know if you guys believe that yet so. . .so whatever happened, man, there wasn't anything you could have done to stop it. It wasn't your fault, Lucy. I swear on my dead grandma and everyone else living in my family's grave."
Lucy blinked.
A small laugh escaped her lips at the last sentence he spoke so vehemently. It was a funny sentence, even though she was sure Sam meant it with all sincerity.
"Thanks, Sam." She said, her voice gentle. "It hasn't happened again, and it won't. I can protect James and I now. And those who did the bad things are dead."
Sam nodded, even though he didn't feel satisfied with just their deaths. He wanted revenge for Lucy, and how strange was that? That she herself didn't want that sweet taste of revenge– and that Sam did, even though he had not been hurt directly by what she experienced.
It sucked.
It sucked a lot.
They sat there for a few moments.
The sound of footsteps made Lucy jump off the couch like she'd been burned. She stood in front of Sam for a few seconds, before her shoulders stiffened, spine straightening. She silently padded over to the goddamn dog bed that Sam wanted to burn, before plopping down on it like she didn't care at all. She blew on the rubik cube as she twisted it in her hand.
The Asset came down wearing the set of clothes he'd worn before changing into his uniform. He looked a little confused, eyes unsure as he entered the area.
"The Asset has taken a bath before." He suddenly blurted as he stood in the room. "The Asset does not know why it has."
Sam blinked.
The Weapon blinked up at him.
"When we bought our apartment," the Weapon–no, Lucy started, "the first day we moved in we took a bath and sat together in the tub. I cleaned your hair and you cleaned mine and we stayed together their. Just. . .together. We had never taken a bath together because the agents wouldn't allow us, nor would the Commander. Because Pierce wouldn't like it. When we went to get out of the bath you slipped on the floor because Alpine–"
"–had jumped off the sink." The Ass–Wint–James stated eyes wide. "And I almost hit my head against the bathtub but you caught me before I could."
Sam could cry at the sound of Bucky's voice.
Lucy's eyes filled with tears.
She didn't say anything, instead throwing her arms around James as she hugged tightly. He looked down, a little surprised, before he looked around and recognized where they were. He also realized that Sam was sitting on the couch with the most relieved face on the planet.
None of them looked more injured than he'd last seen then when they were fighting. . .when they were fighting Walker.
Suddenly James was horrified, pulling back from Lucy with wide, terrified eyes.
"What–" he swallowed hard.
Dull memories traveled through his mind with such clarity he felt like he'd been smacked in the face. He remembered slamming into the pole with electricity. He remembered falling onto the ground and– oh god, the shock had reminded him of the Chair and he'd acted as the Asset–
In front of Sam.
In front of Sam who was warm and pure and anything but a handler.
"I'm so sorry, Sam." His voice was filled with sincerity as he looked at him. "The damn thing Walker threw me at was a fucking electric wired pole. I couldn't remember where I was or why I was there. Shit, I'm so sorry."
Lucy wrapped her arms around him again, holding tightly like he would disappear if she ever let go of him.
James embraced her just as tightly.
"You're good, man." Sam said as he stood up. "You didn't hurt anyone."
James bit the inside of his lip.
He did. He hurt Sam because Sam had to witness all of this. He hurt Lucy because the Asset was a vile beast that controlled the weapon. And that must've been traumatizing to her. He felt bad for it all, but he wasn't going to argue about this with Sam.
He nodded.
Lucy pulled back, sniffling.
"I probably smell like gasoline." She admitted.
James and Sam both let out a laugh.
Lucy wiped at her grimy face.
"I'm going to take a shower." She poked James in the chest. "You better not disappear on me again, love."
James gave her a halfhearted smile, saluting her as she wiped at her eyes, turning to travel up the stairs.
"Aye, aye, Captain."
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