I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you've gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I want to hold you high and steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I want to hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore
-Broken-Seether feat. Amy Lee-2002-
-HUNTER-
My phone rang, and I left the room to answer it. Joey had fallen asleep on a pile of books again, and I had just settled him into bed. I don't want to wake him.
"Hey, Jayda," I greet her. "What's up?"
"...How's New Orleans?" she asks.
She's deflecting. I know her too well. Her curiosity is genuine, but I can tell something is wrong. Knowing her, whatever it is, she will find another way if she feels like an inconvenience. I'll let her tell me when she's ready.
"Successful," I admit. "I had to go through these...trials to prove that I'm nothing like my grandfather."
"Oh-so...are you...okay? Now, or.." she wasn't sure how to phrase her question.
"Yeah, I am, thanks to Joey," I sighed in relief. "But they gave me a warning."
"What is it?" she asks.
"Let's just say that the dead won't let me go without a fight next time...if there is a next time," I inform her.
"Yeah?" she counters fiercely. "Well, neither will I!"
"Oh, I know you won't," I chuckled. "What is it, Jay? What's going on?"
"It's my-it's Jason," she reveals. "It's this Blackwood Asylum case; it's..."
She launched into what they've discovered so far, the ties it has to Alice, Nick's theory about our blood ties to the things we've gone through...all of it. I asked her detailed questions about all of it, knowing that the best way to keep her calm was to keep her focused on the task at hand.
"Wait, Jay..." I gasped as I realized something. "Where are you right now? Geographically speaking?"
"Alberta, Canada," she replies with a question in her voice. "Why?"
"Oh, God..." I sighed. "You didn't come with us because of-remember that Wendigo case I went on with Aerin before we went to Iraq?"
"Yeah," she confirms.
"...Nick is on to something," I admit. "We were at the Blackwood Asylum. The Wendigos had been some former patients as far back as the 1950s. And..."
I didn't know how to tell her the rest of it. Jason is already going through a lot, even before tonight. But she needed to know, and so did he. I took a deep breath before I continued.
"I didn't think anything of it at the time because we hadn't met Jason yet, but...one of the patients looked just like him," I confess. "Billy Bates."
"...What happened to him?" Jayda whispered.
I feel like an asshole, but she needs to know. If Jason is somehow connected to the asylum and the ship, then we need to explore every avenue.
"Billy was one of the mine workers who became trapped for nearly a month after a part of the mine collapsed on December 13th in 1951," I began. "Unfortunately, he and the eleven other miners survived by resorting to cannibalism. They weren't rescued until January 5th..."
"Wait a minute..." Jayda murmurs. "You mean to tell me..."
Being an Empath, Jayda had a hard time hunting creatures that used to be human. She could feel their pain and the humanity that had been lost. Part of me wondered if she could hunt them now with Jason and Salim around. They nullified her power somehow. It's why we never separated them on jobs, aside from their relationship.
"Yes, Jay," I sighed. "The theory is that their case may have brought the wendigos to Blackwood Mountain. After their rescue, Bates and the others are named 'The Miracle Men' in the press and were cared for with the other survivors at the Blackwood Sanatorium, where they were studied due to unusual physical changes that occurred during their recovery. No one knew that the wendigoes had possessed them."
"This is strange," Jayda murmured. "Joe Roberts...Jason's grandfather disappeared on the Medan in 1947. So aside from looking like Jason, how are they connected? And what happened to Billy Bates?"
"The miners eventually became violent, and on February 24th, 1952, they must have turned," I reply. "It was covered up as a riot, and...that's when Dr. Adam Blackwood took over...the one you're hunting."
"I think I remember something about a group of kids that...went camping or something up there?" Jayda asks. "A year after Beth and Hannah Washington disappeared?"
"Yeah, their brother Josh and the group that was up there when the girls disappeared," I confirm. "Josh testified that he wanted them to pay for what happened to his sisters."
"What did he do?" Jayda wonders.
"He played some fucked up pranks on them, but he didn't account for the wendigos. Only a few made it out after those kids had to kill the things to survive, and we were called in to make sure the creatures were gone. Alice saw to their therapy and one of the survivors, Michael Munroe, joined us."
"Oh, I've heard about him," Jayda recalls. "I didn't know his story."
"So there might be some information about Billy in our archives," I tell her. "That leaves us with more questions than answers. How is Jason connected to all of this? And what happened tonight?"
"I'm not sure," Jayda replies with a shaky breath. "Somehow he was separated from us, and by the time we found him, he was lying on the ground and Blackwood was standing above him. I shot at him and we got out."
"How is he doing now?" I ask her.
"He was so out of it when he woke up," Jayda sniffed. "It took him a while to remember us or even himself. I-I know that our job is risky and we get hurt, but seeing him like that..."
I don't interrupt her. I don't have the heart to. Jason and Salim have changed her for the better. After what had happened in Afghanistan, and to Damian, she had shut down. Focused on her work. Hell, when we met the Marines, they changed all of us. They brought us a sense of family that we haven't felt in a long time.
We had taken some time after Iraq, and we met Nick's family, visited Zain, and worked a few cases. Joey and I had just moved to San Francisco when he realized that we needed to go to New Orleans to remove a curse that had been placed on my bloodline, thanks to a grandfather that I'd never met.
"...it was terrifying," Jayda continued. "He's the love of my life, Hunter. They both are and I don't know what I'd do if I lose either one of them."
That's huge. I looked over at Joey, who is still asleep. We aren't on that level, but we know that there's something between us. We're in a good place. He's done so much for me and the rest of us. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him, either.
"We won't let that happen, Jay," I assure her. "Joey is asleep right now, but when he wakes up, I'll fill him in, and we're coming to help. I'm going to call Aerin and Clarice, too. Don't worry about that. Go take care of him."
"Thank you, Hunter," she sighs shakily.
"Of course," I assure her. "What did Alice have to say about all of this?"
"It's crazy, but I've never seen her like this," Jayda responds. "Whatever happened back then...she survived it, but we don't know how. And when she saw Jason, she...I think it brought back some memories."
"Shit," I swore. "This is bigger than I thought..."
"Almost CENTCOM-level big," she agrees.
"Yeah, it looks that way," I sighed. "Let me make those phone calls. I'll let you know when we're on the way."
"Thank you," she murmured.
"Anytime," I assure her before we wrap up the call.
"Wussgoinon?" Joey yawned.
I turned toward the bed to see an adorably disheveled Joey. I'd lost my train of thought for a moment. He mistook it for something else because he leaps out of bed and he asked me again.
"Hey, are you alright?" Joey asks me.
"Y-yeah, I just uh-" I cleared my throat. "You caught me off-guard."
"Oh," he frowned, and even that was cute. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," I assured him, smoothing his hair out of his eyes.
"If you're sure," Joey yawned. "So what's going on?"
"That was Jayda," I tell him. "Jason was attacked. They need our help."
The sleepiness left his eyes immediately.
"Let's pack, then," he decided, clenching his jaw.
"We'll call Aerin and Clarice on the way," I nod.
-AERIN-
Clarice and I have gone up in the world, and it's been a whirlwind. We've been promoted to head the R&D department of the Men of Letters/CIA merger. They were impressed with the weapons we've developed. It gave us more time to work on other projects and get out of the lab more often.
I admit, I've been on the fence with Clarice. It's not her fault, honestly, and she hasn't done anything to make me feel this way...it's her history with Eric. He's buried himself in work, ever since he made amends with the team, and lost Rachel.
Clarice has gotten used to taking care of him, and that's fine. He doesn't have anyone else. He's civil with the rest of the team at best, and they still had a ways to go to forgive each other and heal.
I need to get out of my head about it and just talk to her about it. She's been running ragged with work and looking out for him. I don't want to add to it, but I also deserve some answers.
"You've read the same page for the past twenty minutes, "Clarice points out. "What's up?"
"...Maybe I'm reading too much into this," I began with trepidation, "and I know you're all he has, but I'm going to ask you again: do you have feelings for Eric?"
Clarice dropped what she was doing, fully alert now. She took a deep breath before she answered me.
"I'm woman enough to admit that things have always been confusing with him," Clarice admits. "He doesn't have anyone else, so I look out for him. But do I have feelings for him? No. If I've done anything to make you feel that way, I'm sorry."
The relief I feel is almost physical. I've gotten so used to being an afterthought, that I've prepared myself to be one.
"I should be the one apologizing to you," I tell her. "I'm used to being a second thought, or not being chosen, cheated on, you know? I guess I try to prepare for the worst so that it doesn't hurt so much."
"You don't need to apologize for the way you feel," Clarice disagrees. "We all have things from our past that we're working on. Tell you what? I'll have Eric's assistant take over for a bit. I should have done that in the first place. I'll prep some meals for him because his assistant is useless, and we take some time off?"
"...Has it been that bad for him?" I wondered.
"...He's shut down, I think," Clarice admits. "He doesn't have to think about any of it because he has his work. I've been worried, Aerin. And I should have spoken to you about it, rather than keep it to myself and make you feel like shit."
"Shit," I breathed out. "I mean, I...has he tried to reach out to anyone else, or?"
"I'm not sure," Clarice admits. "Maybe he feels like he shouldn't? Or that he can't? Maybe he feels like he needs time to figure things out?"
"Maybe," I murmured.
Before either one of us can say anything, my phone rings.
"It's Hunter," I tell her before putting it on speaker.
"Hey, you're on speaker," I tell him.
"Hey, Aerin," Hunter greets me. "Hey, Clarice."
"Hey," Clarice greets him. "What's going on? You sound worried."
"Jayda called," he explains. "It's the Blackwood case...Jason got hurt-"
"-Wait, I'm sorry, what the fuck happened to Jason?" Clarice demands.
"Jayda didn't go into detail, but...remember when Alice told us that Jason's grandfather was on the Medan?"
"Yeah, why-wait, Billy Bates!" I remembered.
"Who?" Clarice frowns.
"He was a miner in the late 50s," I explained. "...He looked exactly like Jason, and his grandfather...the only difference is their eye color."
"...What does that mean?" Clarice wonders.
"I'm not sure," Hunter sighs. "Joey and I are on our way to Canada. I told Jayda that I'd call you so she can look after Jason."
"...How bad is it?" I gasped. "It wasn't a wendigo, was it?"
"No, it was Dr.Blackwood," Hunter reveals. "Alice escaped unscathed years ago with a friend of hers, but anyone else...they had to be committed. It wasn't that bad for Jason, but he's still out of it."
"Shit," Clarice spat.
She looked over at me, and I nodded. I felt a lot better, and our friends need us.
"We're on our way," I tell him.
As we pack, I make a risky decision.
"I think we should call Eric," I suggest. "I'm going back on the field for this. With Hunter bringing Joey, we need a strong team on research and comms, and...if it's as bad as you think, it'll get him out of the lab."
"Are you sure?" Clarice asks.
"Yeah," I confirm. "We need everyone on this!"
-ERIC-
After the events of Iraq and my "apology tour", as Jason had called it, I kept busy with my work for the Men of Letters and the CIA's Preternatural Division. I've been the head of the Communications Department, while Aerin and Clarice head R&D. If I recall, Joey heads a newer division, involving the research of the entities we fight.
They took advantage of this by traveling and taking time off in between projects or cases. I have no such desire. It's because of me that my team went through the things they did. I need to ensure that it won't happen to anyone else. That's the least I can do. They've invited me on their time off, but...I didn't want to impose. Or maybe I'm not ready to go there yet.
I'm aware that I've fallen into the same patterns that sent Rachel away in the first place, but...what else is there for me? If I had dedicated myself to Caelus enough to check the data before leaving then...what? Would we have found those weapons? Jason wouldn't have met Salim or Jayda. We wouldn't have learned that the war was pointless...as well as the time spent fighting it?
I can't dwell on the past anymore. All I can do is focus on the present. I'm not too concerned about the future. Clarice stopped by from time to time, reminding me that I'm human. I know I haven't taken the best care of myself, but that won't matter once we catch Azazel and stop him from freeing Lucifer. I'm not going to stop until I kill that son of a bitch. CENTCOM was only the beginning, and I won't stop until I avenge her.
"Colonel King?" Parker, my new assistant, calls me. "You have a phone call."
"I have a lead," I reply dismissively.
"It's Clarice and Aerin," Parker insisted. "It's urgent, they said."
Usually, Clarice calls to check in, and it's over in a few minutes. This is different...I leave the lab to take the phone call, wincing at the lights from the lobby. Jesus, how long have I been down there?
"What's going on, Clarice?" I asked.
"Hey, we could use your help...Jayda called about the Blackwood case in Canada...I-sorry, you're on speaker-" she sounded stressed.
"Slow down, Clarice...and hi, Aerin," I soothe her. "What happened?"
"We're on our way to get you!" Clarice informs me after she calms down.
By the time she explained what had happened to Jason, and his possible connection to the case, I was out the door and headed to my car to pack. I won't let anything happen to any of the Marines. Ever again. I also owe it to Clarice, who has probably sacrificed her relationship with Aerin to look out for me. She didn't have to do that, let alone forgive me.
"I'm on the way to my apartment," I tell her. "I'll leave my work to Bennett, he's more than capable."
I've had some theories about Jason's connections to these events, but that can wait. This is about more than making amends. This is about more than proving to the Marines that I can be trusted...because if any of my theories are right, then Jason, as well as the others are in worse danger than they thought.