WORDS; 1,640.
TO; Yourself.
WARNINGS; Murder Mention, Agoraphobia, Mild Violence.
With only a month left until graduation, you started to really focus on your school work.
The silly thing is that you would find yourself thinking of doing school work for more hours than you would spend actually working through it all! Your notebook had been overfilled and you begun using a pile of yellow sticky notes, but not even that lasted you long enough.
Now you had to go out a buy a new notebook, you knew that for sure.
But since Jared had been killed, you found yourself growing more and more agoraphobic over the time. It was nearing two weeks since Jared was gone, and it felt like you were only getting mentally worse.
Glancing at that door felt like something of a death sentence with how quick it induced your heartbeat. You let out a huff as you raised a shaky hand to the doorknob. "It's just for a dumb book," You reassured yourself. "I'll go out and be right back in quick..."
You bit your lip as you twisted the doorknob open, being met with the empty and bland hallways of your new apartment. "It's fine." You whispered under your breath, hoping no one was listening in on your mumbling as you made your way out of the apartment building.
This new place was a short walk away from the airport, and you had already booked a ticket to the United States.
Now your only remaining tasks were to get through the month of school work, graduate and pack up your things to make your great escape; you would leave the country and hope your secret admirer hadn't placed a tracker on you. You popped one earbud in your ear and fumbled to catch the other one, when you got a notification from an unknown number. "Hi! Is this (Y/N)'s number? It's Will, I got this number from Apollo :) If this is really your number, just want to tell you that I miss you so much." It read. "Shit! Hey Wilbur!"
"Sorry, you found me at a bad time, I'm heading out to the shop right now. I'll message you back when I'm home. Promise." You quickly typed, swearing that you would have made a typo from how fast your fingers darted across the screen. You turned on your music and tried to zone out on the walk to the corner store.
Your music was able to dull your usual paranoid feelings, but you had the feeling that any passer by had their eyes locked on you and were judging your every move, you were devastated and embarrassed.
To the point you speed walked in to the corner store, looking down to your phone to catch a glimpse of Wilbur's message. "That's fine, I'm at work at the moment anyway and I shouldn't be texting you, to be blunt. Talk later?" You smiled.
Something about thinking of Wilbur was warming your heart, knowing that he would be available to message later was what supported you the most through the aisles of the stores, it eased your mind of any worries and guided your hand to the right notebook for the last of your remaining time in school.
After paying, you had stepped out of the store and tried to inhale the same relief that Wilbur had sent you in the form of a text message, but it failed. You were now out on the streets, when the sun was falling. Somewhere that isn't popular, and you could be spotted by that secret admirer of yours.
Walking turned to speed walking, speed walking turned to running. Until someone grabbed you by the arm and you were whipped around to face them. HIM. Apollo.
You gasped, trying to tug your arm away from his grasp. "(Y/N), hey, relax! I — I —" He started, but you interrupted him by harshly connecting your boot with his balls and watching as he double over with both hands protecting his sack. "Fuck!" Apollo cried through his teeth. "...I just wanted to know if you're okay!" He whimpered as he spoke, looking up with tears in his eyes. The blow had made him stand there groaning in pain.
You didn't wait to hear him out, you ran to your apartment and slammed the door behind yourself, not looking back or listening close to even notice if he had chased you.
And that was when you faded out of your fight or flight response, finally realising what had gone down.
Was Apollo your secret admirer? Had he been trying to seek you out? Was it coincidence, or had he been stalking you? Tears spilled down your cheeks as you pulled out your phone, flashing yourself when you had turned it on since your blurred vision was sensitive to your bright wallpaper.
"I need you, please message me. I'm scared." You wrote, not expecting a response for another few minutes, but Wilbur had sent back almost instantly. "What happened? Are you okay? Can I call you?"
"I can wait until you're off work, just messaging is fine for now," You sniffled as you typed that out, knowing you wanted to call right now. "Just need you :c"
You had managed to bring your breathing back to a steady pace after reading through Wilbur's comforting paragraphs, where he detailed how he missed you and thought you were so much stronger than him. "Why is that?" You asked. "Because I know I would have never been able to leave you, no matter how afraid I was."
Reading through his message one time wasn't enough, you ended up repeating the phrase in your mind and out loud as a mixture of emotions went over you.
Guilt pierced your heart when you realised how you had impacted Wilbur by leaving, practically abandoning him. But you were glad. Glad that Wilbur understood your motivations and held nothing against you. Glad that Wilbur wanted to stick with you through all of this, when your other friends, Saturn, Apollo and anyone else you had explained the situation to ended up gone. Apollo, most importantly was gone.
"I think I know who my secret admirer is." You wrote, huffing out a sob as you sent it to Wilbur.
Your phone vibrated in your hand and you cleared your throat before answering to a rather frantic Wilbur. "Wh — (Y/N)? I was able to get my co-worker to take over, we should talk... Um, so you know?"
"Yes," You sniffled, angling away from the phone's speaker so it wouldn't be picked up. "Apollo has to be the secret admirer! He was... He's...!" You stumbled over your words, whimpering softly as you held onto your head. "Oh... Want to tell me about that?" I hummed a yes to the receiving end of the phone.
We ended up on a call for a good twenty minutes, hearing his voice, his replies... It was so helpful knowing that he was miraculously safe from Apollo, if he really was the secret admirer. "Sorry, darling, I have to go. Let's continue this talk when I'm home, alright?" Wilbur voice was full of concern, as if he would gladly stay on the line of I disagreed. "When will that be...?"
"Not long. We're about to close up, so half an hour at most. I'll message you if I have any delays."
"Okay... Bye, Wilbur." You huffed the words out, somewhat disappointed but it was mainly the headache that was inducing an assumably harsher tone on you. "Make sure you have a drink. Goodbye now~" Wilbur sung as he waited for you to hang up on him.
The red button took you back to your message history with Wilbur, that was when you turned off the phone and dropped your head into the mattress.
You had been sitting at the side of the bed with your back against the bed frame for the conversation, not wanting to let yourself relax in case something happened. But now you sat there and got out the last drizzle of tears until your eyes were freshly cleared out of sadness.
Only fear lingered as you weakly stood up, turning the do not disturb option off so you would know when Wilbur was done while you left the room to flick on the jug and set up a mug with drinking chocolate and some marshmallows, pulling out the milk while you waited.
Although your head hurt, you had to note that your nose was clearer than ever.
You paced back and forth between the connected kitchen and living room as you waited, trying to keep an ear out for your phone in the other room before you snapped out of your mind and rushed in to the kitchen to finish making a hot chocolate.
The warmth of the drink in your stomach was familiar. It was something you commonly felt around Wilbur, since he was the greatest support you had for some time. He was someone who took you in when neither of you were that close. Wilbur was a friend.
The pain of your headache subsided as you drank more of the hot chocolate, eventually stepping back in the bedroom to pick up your phone and scroll.
It wasn't until you had sipped your hot chocolate to completion and set the mug aside that your phone rang out noisily — You forgot you had turned off do not disturb and it gave you a scare. "Hi!"
"Hey (Y/N)," Wilbur greeted, panting. "I'm heading home now. I'll call when I'm there, but I do have something to take care of first. Won't be long."
You were happy. "Get home safe! Bye!" You chirped back, smiling to the phone in your now dim room. "Talk soon." Wilbur hung up this time.
FROM; Memory.