Everything had always been a hassle for me, struggling through everything I'd lost my will to live. There was no reason as well, I was just breathing and moving.
"I wonder why You bother to keep me alive?"
I usually spoke to God, well, He listened, someone had told me.
"I'm just wasting oxygen and space, it's not like I am doing anything productive to anyone. For once in this universe You must have made a mistake by giving me life, since You didn't give me anything else besides that."
Anyways, I was used to having these one-sided conversations with God and I'd stretched everything till 25 years of my life.
"No parents, no friends, no love, no ambition, no reason at all. I guess that makes me eligible to do this."
I said that as I stood up on the edge of the roof of a building which was at least twenty floors high.
"Nothing can hold me back from here," I mumbled feeling the cool wind brushing over my brown locks.
The height was dizzying and I felt just a slight bit of fear. So, I turned around and sighed.
"Here goes."
I spreaded my arms and slowly leaned back, the ground beneath me disappeared and the wind became fast, so fast that I couldn't hear anything else but the strong slapping of my hair and the whooshing of the wind.
The last thing that I might remember would be the cloudy sky that was that day.
"I hope at least now, You'll have some mercy on me." I thought before everything went black.
I heard the sound of someone crying and hiccuping which annoyed me, it seemed like a child was crying near me. I opened my eyes wincing at the brightness but instantly the loud sounds invaded my ears.
"Princess!"
"Amy! Amy, are you okay?! I'm so sorry for asking you to do that! Amy!" A young child with bright platinum blonde hair came into my view.
She was crying big fat tears and seemed really remorseful about something. Somehow I couldn't help but want to make her stop crying, I thought of reaching out to touch her face when I realised.
Wait, did I survive that damn fall?!
I sat up in shock but that was a bad move as my head pounded and I grunted holding my head.
"Princess, does your head still hurt? Hurry up and call a doctor!" A female voice shouted and I groaned as I felt the sharp flashes in my head.
I felt someone clutching as the sleeves of my shirt. I turned to look at the teary eyed child, her eyes seemed like sapphires no, even more beautiful than them. Almost as if they were jewels in the place of eyes.
Jeweled eyes?
A certain jeweled eyed character popped in my head and I could clearly draw some similarities between them. No, no, no, this must be a bloody dream. How could such a thing happen in real life?!
"Amy, Athy is really sorry, I won't ever ask you to do it again!" She whimpered and it clicked again. Athy!
"Athanasia?" I breathed and she looked at me searching for my eyes.
What kind of farce is this?! Why am I in my favourite manwha? And is this really Athanasia? She certainly looks like her but what kind of shit is this?! Why am I here and why are my hands so bloody tiny?
I looked at my fingers and hands which made me frown, I needed to deal with this somehow. God, why?
"Water," I spoke.
"Lily, bring Amy some water!" Athy shouted and Lily quickly left the room.
"Amy!" Athy looked at me and I sighed.
"How is this possible? Was there really another character in this story?" I wondered and Athy's eyes widened.
"Wait... Did you just...?"
"What's my name?"
"A-Amara," she answered and I gave a bitter chuckle.
"Elegance, grace and Eternal... great work. I guess You still aren't done playing with me." I mumbled.
"Don't tell me... you're a transmigrator too." Athy said and I looked at the child before sighing loudly.
"Too?" I couldn't let her know that I knew the manhwa since that'd be a bit of a hassle for the future.
"I-I'm one too... Wow..."
"No, it's a pain. Why did I come here?" I hissed as I gripped my head.
"Does your head still hurt?" She asked sounding concerned.
"Amara... Was there any such character in the novel?" I asked and she shook her head.
"Not that I remember of, but I can't be sure maybe... maybe she died during childbirth." She suggested and I sighed.
What kind of moronic plot twist is this?
I looked up at the child beside me who stared back at me, in her clear eyes I could see my reflection, I looked just like her.
"Are we twins?" I asked and she nodded.
"You're the older one." She said and I sighed before letting out a bitter chuckle.
"How old are we?"
"Three years." I sighed.
In the story, there was no mention of any twin. Hell, this manwha was only for Athy... What was I here for?!
My thoughts were running all over the place but before I could talk about it to Athy, Lily came back with a glass of water.
"Here, Princess." She said handing me the glass and I sipped the water.
I looked at the brown haired and sky blue eyed lady Lillian York, whose face was morphed into the expression of concern. I turned away, I didn't like that expression, especially for me.
"Don't be worried, Lily. I'm fine." I said but it came out coldly.
"Princess?" She looked at me with slight surprise.
"Could you leave us alone? I'm a bit disoriented, I need to talk with Athy." I said and for some reason my voice was cold again.
Did I by mistakenly get into Claude's body? Why do I sound like him? Not that I've heard him but still... I'm a child, I should sound softer...
"Yes, Lily. Athy will take care of Amy. You can go." Athy piped in and Lily hesitantly left the room.
I sighed and looked at my tiny hands.
"What kind of farce is this? Why am I alive?"
"I can understand, but for now I'll take the lead and explain stuff to you."
"Tell me first about my personality. How was I?"
"Well, you were really shy and quiet, you never talked or even looked at anyone. You barely ever talked to Lily, that's why she seemed so surprised when you suddenly did now."
"What did I usually sound like?"
"Soft spoken." She answered and I smiled bitterly.
"Some traits just follow regardless." I muttered as I recalled my detached and apathetic behaviour which had made me quiet in my past life.
"What?"
"What happened to me?"
Athy looked a bit guilty as she twiddled her chubby thumbs and she started speaking.
"W-We were in kitchen and I wanted to get chocolates so, I asked you to help me. You got on the table and from there on the higher shelf but then, just as you were taking the chocolates down you slipped and fell down... I was so scared because you fell unconscious..."
"Quite a bravado for a shy child." I muttered.
"That's because you love me..." She sounded a bit hesitant as if talking with a stranger all of a sudden. Technically, I was.
"You usually never say no to any of my requests or never did..."
"That'll go on." I said making her look at me with surprise.
"I might not behave like my old self but I'll make sure to treat you the best..." I said feeling strange since I was the one who was saying that. As far as I knew I was the kind of person who wouldn't even glance at a dying person.
I lifted the sheets looking at my stubby legs, I sighed as I let my feet down.
"Wh-Where are you going?"
"I need to go for a walk to clear my head, this all is a bit too much for me."
"I'll go along!"
"No!" That came out sharper than expected making Athy flinch.
I sighed running my hand over my face, "I'm sorry, don't take me wrong but I need to go alone."
"B-But it's getting dark."
"I'll be fine, I need to clear my head."
"I-I won't disturb you, I'll just follow you quietly."
I felt slightly annoyed but maybe it was because of my jumbled thoughts. I took a deep breath before turning to place my hand over Athy's chubby cheek.
"Listen to me, child. I'm really not in the state right now but I'll tell you one thing... You are my most favourite character in this book and I really like you so, I don't want to hurt you with any of my unnecessary harsh comments while I'm not in my right mind so, please. Just for some time let me be alone. I'll be back soon." I said in a softer voice and she looked at me making me feel as if she would still insist on going along but she nodded.
"Okay."
"Good girl." I patted her head before I walked out of the room.
The palace was quite large but a bit dreary, well, considering that I never lived in such a space before I couldn't help but look everywhere. I wasn't stopped by any maid as I walked out of the palace and started walking towards where I saw trees.
It was starting to get dark so, I simply sat down under a tree and stared off in the space trying to make peace with my current situation.
I'm not dreaming, am I? I thought before I pulled on my cheek wincing slightly as it hurt.
I've really come here then...
Amara... I've no idea what kind of plot this is but were you really there in the story some time?
I sighed as I leaned my head back against the tree and looked at the stars that were twinkling in the inky sky. In city it was impossible to see stars, to be honest, it was the first time I'd seen so many stars in my life.
"I wonder how Claude is doing?"
Claude was also my favourite character after learning about the whole story, that man was just too much in pain that he broke.
He was betrayed by his own family, he lost his mother, he killed his own brother and when he found someone who would make him happy even that woman was snatched away from him. He was just a man who was suffering too much and was misunderstood. He had grown up on the edge of the sword that he had no choice but to became a sharper sword to deal with his situation.
For more than one reasons, I felt like I was like Claude, it almost created a sense of kinship with him when I had read the manwha. He hid his pain, rather stuffed it all in a treasure chest and locked it in a dark corner of his heart and asked demons for help.
He just asked help from wrong side.
I sighed wondering... recalling everything that happened in the story, my major concerns were the black magic spell Claude casted on himself to erase his memories and his emotions, the explosion that would erase Athy from his memories, Jeanette and finally Athernitas.
I could sit back for Jeanette and Athernitas till they tried to make a move but first thing first was Claude's black magic spell. If there was a way to get rid of that then he would start remembering and a lot of our problems in future would be solved.
But for that I needed to be able to have strong magic myself. Was that even possible-
I continued looking up at the sky and sighed, I was a researcher in my past life and my major was psychology so, I was well aware of how to deal with people's psyche. So, in order to make the journey of this life smoother I needed to use all of my tricks to eliminate the problems first.
"If that's what requires for me to save this family then... I might as well give it a try."
With that resolution I started planning on how to deal with everything that would come in future.
***
Well, this is my first ever fanfiction so, please have a little mercy readers and also, if you like my work please make sure to let me know.