"I ain't got no choice in this?" Khadijah asked as Kevin held up another top to her body. He scrunched up his face, internally debating, before he set the hanger holding the top back onto the rack. They'd been walking around the mall for almost two hours now. It'd been almost a month since Kevin and Arion released their song with B-Lovee and that shit was doing numbers. Khadijah followed through with what she said, though—she'd listened to the song all the time. At this point, she could recite the lyrics in her sleep.
Apparently doing numbers also meant putting out a music video to promote that shit even more, and according to Kevin, he wasn't letting her show up in no bum ass outfit to embarrass them.
Honestly, she didn't even know if she wanted to go.
"Bro, shut up, man," Kevin said, kissing his teeth. They were currently in Zara walking around, and she was faintly amused by the way Kevin was unbothered, browsing the women's section with ease. Arion lingered behind them, head in his phone as his fat fingers smacked against the screen repeatedly. "You wanna look good for the video, right? So lemme work."
"Don't have me out there looking like a smooch, Kevin," Khadijah sighed reluctantly, rolling her eyes. She skimmed the racks of clothes herself, tapping Kevin when she spotted something she liked, so he could approve of it. He didn't like any of them really, so Khadijah resigned, and opted to follow Kevin as he walked through the store.
"Nah, never that," Kevin shook his head.
"What's the vibe for the music video, anyway? Who you said was directing it again?"
"Kaiyah, bro—you know her? She Rumi's older cousin. Her work nice as hell, I was surprised when she hit me up the otha' day asking about it."
"It's exposure for her too, so it makes sense—how much streams you got on the song right now?"
"I'on know to be honest, but that shit blew up fast, it's crazy."
"Just direct deposit my royalties into my bank account, that's all I'm saying," Khadijah cheesed happily, making Kevin shake his head at her antics with a small smile.
"You know we got you, Jah, ain't no debate," Kevin reiterated to her, eyes scanning the store once more before he let out a heavy sigh, "let's get the fuck up outta 'hea. Shit's dead."
"Finally! Can we get some fucking food?"
"Aight, bring 'yo ass," Arion said, suddenly slinging her arm around her neck. Khadijah choked slightly from the sudden weight before she relaxed under his hold. "Whatchu wanna eat, ma?"
"You already know," Khadijah smirked. The three walked together to the food court, Khadijah leading them straight to her favourite food spot in the mall, Bourborn St. Grill. She recited her order to Arion who nodded before she walked off to find a table—the mall food court was always packed with people and Khadijah would be damned if she had to eat in Jackie's car. She spotted a young family of four getting up, patiently waiting nearby, before she took a seat at the empty table. She sat down after they'd left, eyes glued to her phone as she looked up outfit inspiration for the music video on Pinterest. It took another fifteen minutes for Kevin and Arion to find her, juggling three white boxes of steaming hot food and drinks. Khadijah set her phone down in excitement, clapping her hands in gratitude as she squirmed in her seat.
Eating at the mall always hit different.
"Thank you," she smiled as the two of them sat down, Arion on her right and Kevin sitting in front of him.
"This shit better not be ass," Kevin grumbled, opening his box.
"Yeah, okay, that's why you got three pieces of meat in 'yo shit," Khadijah laughed, Arion slid her bottle of apple juice in front of her and she thanked him quietly. "Forreal though, can't I just pick my own outfit for the video? You acting like I'on got clothes, Kevin." Khadijah said pointedly, shoving a spoonful of bourbon grilled chicken into her mouth alongside some fried rice.
"Kay does this shit all the time man, nigga thinks he some type of fashion designer," Arion grinned, popping open his coca-cola can. "Just let him do his thing. Shit, he helped me with my closet too." He shrugged.
"Trust the process," Kevin mumbled as he munched on some Shanghai noodles, "by the way, don't you gotta get your hair done and shit?"
"What's wrong wit' ha hair?" Arion asked, eyebrows furrowed.
"Nah, just—don't girls be doing that shit? Getting their hair done? Nails done? Isa was talking to me the other day 'bout some nail appointment she had scheduled this week or sumn." Kay clarified.
"I mean, I guess I could get my hair done," Khadijah murmured, touching her braids absentmindedly. They did look a little fuzzy now—she supposed it was time for a new hairstyle.
"Okay, fine, I'll go all out for this—just one time. I have some money saved up from my allowance." Khadijah decided. She hadn't gotten all dolled up in a long time—maybe she could ask Lauren to help her scour for new makeup to spruce up her supply, along with ideas for what to do with her hair. She shoved more fried rice into her mouth, contemplating silently as Kevin and Arion dived into a conversation about the setup for the music video.
✧
Khadijah stepped out of the Uber at the Airbnb where they'd be shooting the music video. According to Kevin, it was more of a party scenario, and thus he'd selected a more calm and casual fit for her. What really shocked her the most was when Arion dropped by while Lauren was helping her get ready with a black Christian Dior satchel bag.
Her jaw had dropped to the floor.
He didn't stay for long, though—just sat there and watched for a bit as she applied her highlighter and blush to her cheeks before dipping, kissing her forehead before he went. He'd playfully tugged on her hair as well—twenty-eight inches of Brazilian straight hair that her aunt had picked out. He stared at her thoughtfully for a moment.
"Yeah, I like it," he'd said before he left, smirking at her.
"I'm outside." Khadijah said, speaking into her phone. "You guys here?"
"We all here already, I'm sending Blu to get you, aight?"
Hanging up the phone, Khadijah barely waited a minute before the door to the luxurious house was thrown open. Blu stood there, dressed in a blue hoodie and some black Amiri jeans and white forces on—eyes half-lidded and red.
"Oh nah, you gotta go home and change, wifey," Blu joked as he let her walk in past him, "you look too good right now."
"Thanks, Blu, you look good too," Khadijah laughed, sliding her phone into her new purse, "where's Dougie?"
"Everyone's upstairs, Kaiyah has all her shit set up there," Blu informed her, leading her past a shiny white kitchen with gold accents into a living room flooded with people—all guys with a few girls lingering around—no one Khadijah knew. A few of the girls glared at her venomously while some others looked at her with interest, sizing her up curiously. Some of them carressed their niggas possessively, sitting on their laps as if it was a throne while others seemed to be begging for attention from the guys that sat around rolling and passing around a small pill bottle. She smiled and waved to be polite, following after Blu to head upstairs—internally rolling her eyes.
The house was nice—it had a second kitchen on the second floor along with another living room; she could see Kevin and B-Lovee in the corner of the kitchen talking. On the counter, money was laid out, covering the marble counters completely. The floor-to-ceiling windows were lined with black out curtains, leaving the entire space dark except for the red LED lights that flashed ominously overhead. There was so much people up there, Khadijah felt a little overwhelmed when people turned to glance at her. Blu helped her squeeze through the crowd to where Kevin and B-Lovee were conversing with a girl holding a professional camera in her hands.
"Yo Jah—this Kaiyah, Rumi's cousin," Kevin introduced them once Khadijah was close enough.
"What's up?" Kaiyah smiled, showing off her bottom grills.
"Hey." Khadijah greeted her. "I hope I'm not too late." Khadijah spoke sheepishly. She was supposed to arrive an hour ago but it'd taken her a little longer to do her makeup, and her install had also taken a bit longer than expected.
"Nah, you good, I started shooting with everyone that was here, but we can start on some shots with you in it," Kaiyah explained, adjusting the camera in her hands. She stared at her inquisitively for a second, making Khadijah squirm under the heavy eye contact. "I'm sorry—you mad fine, we gotta get some shots with you front and center. I haven't taken any shots of the girls here yet."
"I'm not even on that forreal, I just came to support Kay and Dougie," Khadijah waved her hand, dismissing the idea.
"Bro, I don't want them in the video," Kevin interjected, leaning back against the marble counter, playing with one of his braids as a mug settled on his face.
"Jah literally our only homegirl, she gotta have the spotlight."
Hearing Setty's voice, Khadijah's head turned to see Setty smoking a blunt surrounded by three other guys she didn't recognize, but she assumed they were from the block, so she just smiled at them innocently.
"Yeah, my wife gon' be in that shit regardless." Blu spoke, dragging his words out. Setty reached out, passing the blunt, and he took a hit, turning his head and exhaling the smoke off to the side.
"I'm down for whatever," B-Lovee shrugged, adding in his two cents.
"Jah, call Doug, he's in the back bedroom," Kevin said, nodding towards the end of the hall, "said something about his head hurting."
Khadijah's eyebrows furrowed in worry, instantly moving towards the bedroom Kevin had directed her too. She walked fast, careful not to bump into anyone as she went. She grabbed the gold door handle, twisting it before pushing it open gently. Poking her head into the room, she could see Arion laying on the maroon king-sized bed, flat on his back, hands placed on his face. He was wearing a black VLONE shirt and matching black jeans. He wore Jordan fours on his feet—black cats—dressing his neck with a large Cuban link chain and another chain containing a picture of someone she also didn't recognize. He'd gotten his locs retwisted, and they laid on his head neatly. She was too busy admiring him for a second to realize he was hyperventilating slightly. She dropped her satchel bag onto one of the chairs by the door, rushing forward to the bed.
"Arion—what's wrong?" Khadijah asked in concern, knee resting on the edge of the bed as she carefully pulled his hands away from his face. His face twisted into a grimace and his hands were shaking again. She held them firmly, rubbing soothing circles into the palm of his hands with her thumbs—throwing her other leg over him, straddling him on the bed. "What's wrong? Talk to me." She pressed him again.
"Nah, just—some of the guys downstairs—they have—" He inhaled slowly. It didn't take Khadijah long to put two-and-two together. His eyes were a little red and bloodshot but he didn't seem like he was on anything.
He was just tempted.
"Did you take any?" She asked gently, careful not to sound accusing. She knew he didn't but she wanted to ask just to be sure.
"No, they offered it though," he sighed pitifully, turning his head to the side so she couldn't see his face. He seemed almost ashamed and Khadijah was having none of it. She reached forward, leaning down, pressing their chests together, tilting his head back with one of her hands, so he looked at her properly.
"Then, we're good, right?" Khadijah smiled to let him know everything was okay. Arion's mouth twitched like he was fighting off the urge to smile but he failed, giving in, untangling his hands from Khadijah and holding her to his chest. They laid there like that for a minute, just breathing each other in. He smelled good. It was calming. Eventually, he pulled away from her, eyes scanning her face before they drifted downwards to her body.
"Lemme see the fit," he demanded, suddenly sitting up and pulling Khadijah along with him.
She stood up from his lap. He held one of her hands, gently tugging her so she spun around in front of him.
"Pretty girl," he smiled at her, releasing her hand. He gripped the back of her thick thighs, tugging her close. His hands squeezed her thighs repeatedly and Khadijah just smiled in response, tucking her chin against her chest shyly.
"We're good though, right?" Khadijah repeated herself, hands cuffing Arion's neck. He wasn't paying attention to her—not really—she could tell by the way he stared up at her, eyes half-lidded, completely fixated on her mouth as she spoke. "Arion." Khadijah said again, gripping his throat to snap him out of his trance. "What's wrong with you?" She giggled, releasing his neck as he wrapped his arms around her legs, right below her ass.
"You just so pretty," he mumbled, clearing his throat, "but yeah, we good. I'm not tryna go downstairs though."
"Okay, how 'bout this—you keep me in check, I keep you in check, alright? You tell me if I'm going too far and I'll do the same for you." Khadijah stated, cupping Arion's cheeks. "You been doing good, I been doing good—let's not ruin it today. Good vibes only." She said to him.
"I know, I know," he sighed heavily, pressing his chin against her stomach as he looked up at her imploringly, "I'm trying, Jah."
"I know you are." Khadijah whispered soothingly. "I know you are, pa, its okay. I got you. You got me, right?"
"Yeah, I got you, mama."
"I look pretty though, forreal?" Khadijah asked quietly after a beat, slightly self-conscious with her cropped hoodie and low-cut green cargos. Kaiyah had complimented her as well—Blu too but she felt like they were just being nice. She wanted to hear the truth—hear it from Arion himself because for some reason, his opinion was all that mattered to her. No one else.
"Yeah—why would I lie to you?" Arion laughed, letting go of her thighs, leaning back on his hands that rested against the bed. "You look good as fuck, Jah. You don't think so?"
"I don't know," Khadijah sighed dramatically, walking over to her new bag and plopping herself into the wooden chair. She fixed the satchel bag, pulling it onto her shoulder, leaning forward as she used one hand to adjust her hoodie and her cargo pants. It was quiet—unusually quiet and she turned around to see Arion laying back, the back of his phone pointed at her. "Bro," Khadijah said, kissing her teeth, "no way you just took a photo of me."
"Because you don't believe me—come here," Arion called and Khadijah moved instantly, sitting next to him on the bed. She leaned over curiously to see his phone and the picture he had taken of her. He'd posted it on his Instagram story without a caption—just the off guard photo of her.
"That's me?" Khadijah asked in shock, snatching the phone away from him. She'd never really thought she could be photogenic—she didn't usually take pictures of herself. She didn't have social media—no Instagram, no Snapchat—so there was never really an opportunity for Khadijah to really put herself out there. The only pictures she had of herself were the photos taken of her as a child and some really old family photos that sat in her entryway at home collecting dust.
The door opened suddenly, Setty poked his head in—hand over his eyes.
"Yo," he drawled, covering his eyes, "you decent? Kaiyah ready to start filming again."
"Yeah, let's go," Khadijah mumbled, handing Arion's phone back. She stood up, pulling her pants up, following Setty who disappeared after hearing her voice. Arion followed closely behind her, scrolling through his Instagram, holding his hoodie in his other hand, arm flexing.
"Sorry," Kaiyah apologized as they approached, a small smirk on her face, "just a few shots then we're done. You got any special requests? Ideas? Specific shit you want me to capture?"
"Uhh.. " Khadijah trailed off, staring up at Arion who scratched the back of his neck.
"Nah, we wingin' this shit," he laughed, "its her first time filming. Jah gon' be awkward as hell."
"Its cool," Kaiyah hummed, nodding her head, "alright, just vibe then. I'll just hang around with the camera. Just act natural—like I'm not even here." Kaiyah reassured her but Jah just stared at her blankly because how the hell was she supposed to do that?
Kaiyah walked over to a speaker set up in the corner, pressing play on her phone. Brotherly Love flooded the area—the speaker blasting the beat as the guys got hype. Khadijah just nodded her head to the song, leaning against the counter as Kevin and B-Lovee passed the blunt around. Arion took a hit, pausing, looking at Khadijah curiously as she looked around at everyone else. Arion grabbed her chin, tilting her head upwards. Her mouth dropped open slightly and he pressed his lips against hers, exhaling the smoke slowly into her mouth. Khadijah's senses dulled—all the music and chaos faded into the background around her as she inhaled the smoke.
She'd never shotgunned before and her eyes drifted close for a moment. She hooked her finger in Arion's belt loop, keeping him against her as she exhaled again slowly. The reaction was instant—she'd never had a high tolerance for these sort of things and she mellowed out slowly, letting her shoulders relax. She was so focused on Arion, she didn't see Kaiyah lingering nearby with her camera pointed towards them.
"Focus on me," Arion whispered to her, tilting his head downwards so he could speak directly into her ear.
✧
am i getting too carried away yall???? like idk if im going off-track with the story.. but its coo. we gon' get through it eventually. if khadijah and dougie dont end up together, im gonna cry. comment n let me know what you think ♥
— 𝐂.