Another day, another new student - well in this case - teacher. (name) was actually excited about this new teacher. The thought of meeting anyone new was exciting as it was nerve wracking. But most of her worries were washed away once she saw the class' new teacher, tightly hugging Korosensei's tentacle.
"Now, allow me to introduce your brand-new temporary foreign-language teacher." Karasuma sighed, with his arms crossed. "Irina Jelavich. Nice to meet you all!" She gave the class a bright smile while pressing herself onto Korosensei.
"What a knockout!" "What knockers!" "Wait.." "Why's she all over him?" The students dispersed in different assumptions and rumours. "Pisses me off..."
"Who'd have thought you were a teacher here?" Jelavich joked aloud, keeping her arms on Korosensei. "That's a wig." "Oh, I don't mind~!"
"The school intends to give you authentic experience in foreign languages." Karasuma explained, "I trust there are no complaints about her taking over half your half of your English lessons?" He finished. "If we must.." Korosensei stated.
The class watched the interaction of the octopus and the new teacher and couldn't help but feel nervous and slightly disturbed. "We've got us one heck of a teacher! Not only that, she seems to really have a thing for Korosensei." Kaede said what most of the class was thinking to Nagisa, who nodded.
"Uh-huh. I might get some assassination hints out of this." He held up his pencil and notebook. 'He seems thrown off by the attention she's giving him. Is it because she's human, or because she's a woman? His face changes colour to reflect his mood. So what's the colour for hot and bothered?'
Korosensei's face changes to a bright pink with his bright smile even wider than usual.
"He is all about her." "Yeah. No mistaking that face." The class mutters. 'Note: He blushes like a human.' Nagisa notes down.
"Korosensei's Weak Point #5: Boobs"
"I think she really likes Korosensei. Like, like-like." Akabane jokes with his seatmate on his right, (name). He slightly opens his mouth when he sees her mouth shaped in an 'O' and the small blush on her cheeks.
"I..I think so too! I didn't think that a human and an octopus could ever be compatible together! I'll be rooting for them." She declared as she lifted a small fist in the air, completely forgetting she was mad at Akabane. Said boy just chuckled at her reaction, noting in his head how dense she was.
"Ahh..the more I look at you, the more I feel myself drawn in. Your beady eyes, like two diarrhea pills...your undefined joints. Why, you're positively captivating!" Jelavich praised the octopus as she described every part of him she liked.
"How embarrassing!" Korosensei's smile grew wider everytime the new teacher opened her mouth.
"Don't fall for it, she's trouble!" Okano Hinata, a girl in the front, still shocked, tried to warn Korosensei. "No woman in her right mind would be into you." Nakamura Rio, a girl behind Okano, who was also still in shock, added.
The students managed to get past the rest of their classes without worrying too much since they had English later. "Let's see you pass the ball! Come on!" Korosensei encouraged them as they played a game of assassination soccer, unaware of the two teachers watching them from inside the building.
"And of course I had to use all the close-range tricks at the ready." Jelavich comments, getting ready to light her cigarette. "Apparently the art of seduction works just as well whatever the hell he is." Karasuma narrows his eyes at her as she places her cigarette in her mouth and continues to release smoke from it.
'Irina Jelavich. First rate assassin. Beautiful. Intelligent. Athletic. Fluent in a dozen languages. No target is immune to her charms, whatever their nationality, however well-guarded. She wrote the book on infiltration and approach.' Karasuma recalls what he remembers about the woman.
"As good as you are, we can't just drop you into this situation and expect the usual tricks to work." He reminds her as she begins to walk away (and her cigarette just disappears in the show???), "I know deep cover is your specialty. But this time you'll actually have to teach."
"Hah." She scoffs, "As if I'll be here long enough. I'm a professional. The octopus'll be pushing up daisies before lunch." She states pridefully before opening the door to the staff room and walking in.
"Heads up!" Korosensei calls from their game. "Pass and kill." Akabane kicks the ball before holding his gun up and shooting. "Nope. Pass!" Korosensei dodges his bullet and focuses his attention on Okano, who kicks it back to him. "Pass and kill! Huh?" She shouts, before leaping at Korosensei with her knife in her hands. Korosensei dodges and moves to another group of students.
"Try again. Pass!" He says, before throwing the ball to (name) who attempts to kick the ball before missing completely. "Huh?" She confusedly asks, before looking behind her and seeing the rolling ball, making a few of her classmates laugh.
"That's no problem. Try again!" Korosensei throws another ball, but it's slower than the first and stops right beside her shoe. She places her foot on the ball, "One, two, and.." She kicks the ball into the air about to hit it again before-
"Yoo-hoo! Hope I'm not interrupting anything darling!" Jelavich comes running down the stairs to the open field behind the building. "Mr. Karasuma tells me you're oh so very fast! Is that true?" Korosensei drops the balls in his tentacles as soon as Jelavich presses herself up against him.
"Well, not that fast..." Korosensei places a tentacle behind his head. "Could you do me a favor? I'd love to try some real Vietnamese coffee. Won't you bring me some while I'm teaching English." She clasps her hands over each other, squeezing her boobs to make them look bigger.
Which to Korosensei, makes him blush even more. "Why, of course. I happen to know a great café in Vietnam." He tells her, before the soccer ball from before only happens to hit him on the head now, still not shocking him out of this fake romance.
Meanwhile with (name), 'I..I did it!'. She snaps out of her daydream to realize that her show was missing. 'H-Huh? Where did my shoe go?' She whips her head from side to side, looking for her lost shoe.
Korosensei takes off after leaving a large amount of dust that surrounded the students and their new teacher. "Er..Irina-sensei? Class is starting. Shouldn't we go back in?" Isogai Yuuma, suggested to their teacher, who stood in the same position from before. "Class? Oh, right. Just make it a study hall or something." Her voice changes entirely as she places another cigarette in her mouth.
"And.." She adds, turning to face the students, "Can you not call me by my first name? I won't be playing teacher unless that octopus is around, so you are to call me Jelavich-onee-sama." She orders, taking her cigarette out of her mouth.
Taking advantage of the silence, Akabane decided to comment, "So what are you going to do, Bitch-neesan." "No nicknames!" Jelavich pointed at the red-head and shouted angrily.
"You're an assassin, right? The entire class working together can't kill this monster, and you're going to kill him all by yourself?" Akabane questions further, holding his head high at the woman. "Brat. Grown-ups have their own grown-up ways of doing things." Jelavich informs him with a smirk.
Suddenly, surprising everyone, a shoe lands on Jelavich's head, bouncing off after making contact. "Alright, who threw that?!" She screams, frantically turning to all of the students. Not seeing anyone answer, she was about to pull out her revolver before hearing a quiet, yet gentle voice.
"Um..excuse me." Jelavich almost jumped back in fright due to the girl's features. "S-Sorry, that's my shoe. I'll take it away now." (name) walked closer to pick up her shoe before Jelavich pushed her away. "Get away from me you monster! Keep your distance freak!"
The students gasped as (name) held back her tears. She quickly grabbed her shoe before bowing to the woman and running off into the building. The students were too shocked to respond and before Kaede could run to her, Shiota held her back. "Let her go."
"Anyways, you must be Shiota Nagisa." The boy flinched when he heard the pretty woman call him. She placed her hands on his face and kissed him. "AHHH!!" Kaede screamed, now forgetting about (name) and focusing on the inappropriate kiss between teacher and student.
(name) had run off to the bathroom. She hurriedly opened a stall and locked herself inside. She watched her tears drop to the floor as she cried, soft sobs leaving her mouth.
"Um..are you there?" A voice called from the door, a soft, gentle voice. (name) didn't want to be seen crying so she tried to wipe her tears off her face, only for more to fall every time she tried.
"This is Kanzaki Yukiko. I just wanted to check up on you." (name) heard Kanzaki's footsteps become closer to her stall. "I'm fine, Kanzaki-san. You can leave, I'm alright." (name) reassured.
"I will admit, your appearance is quite scary at first sight. But..as I've seen you more, you become more familiar and friendlier. I don't care much about the rumours spread about you. I'd like to be your friend. Will you let me?" Kanzaki takes a seat right in front of the stall next to (name)'s.
(name) quickly opened her stall and stared at Kanzaki with wide eyes. "Yes please!" Her eyes were still a bit red due to the crying, making her a bit embarrassed. "I thought you hated me. Back in the main building, I caught you staring at me a few times." Kanzaki confesses.
"Hated you? That's a misunderstanding! I've always wanted to be someone friendly like you. Always." (name) declares, expressing her own feelings. "You know, I'm not that friendly." Kanzaki reveals with a small blush on her features.
"No, you really are! Even your name-" She retorts. "How about you, (last name)?" "Eh?" (name) gasps. "(name)." Kanzaki calls. (name)'s eyes sparkle brightly. "Your full name is (last name) (name), right? Not (mispronounced name)."
"I was able to resolve a misunderstanding for the first time in my life." (name) admits. "When we talked, you told me about your true feelings." Kanzaki said, her own smile blinding (name). 'So nice. She's so nice!' (name) smiles.
Jelavich smirked to herself, proud of her plan to kill the octopus. She leaned back at the teacher's desk and crossed her legs.
"C'mon Bitch-neesan, teach us already!" Maehara Hiroto's comment impaled her in her chest. "Yeah Bitch-neesan!" Nakamura added, impaling Jelavich in the head. "I mean, you are a teacher here, right, Bitch-neesan." Sosuke Sugaya finished, dealing the final blow.
"ARGH! Quit your "bitch"-ing!" Jelavich irked, "For one thing, they're pronounced differently! You Japanese can't differentiate between B and V. I'll teach you the right way to say V! First lightly bite your bottom lip. Go on! Yes, that's right! Now stay like that for an hour and give me some peace and quiet." She instructed them.
'What kind of lesson is this?!' The students thought in anger as (name) drew little penguins in her notebook.
"Woah, did you draw that?" A voice from her right asked. "That's a pretty good penguin, is it your favorite animal?" Akabane questioned, his hands placed behind his head as he leaned closer towards her.
"T-Thank you. My favorite is uh..a dog..?" (name) placed a hand on chin and put a finger in the air once she chose an animal. Akabane stared at her with wide eyes before laughing at her. "Dogs? For real?"
"QUIET IN THE BACK!!" Jelavich screeched from the front of the class with a fist in the air.
(name) pouted as she covered her face with her notebook, only putting it down once Akabane's laughter subdued to small chuckles.
"Hmm, I think my favorite is a lion. Or some other violent animal." (name) could see Akabane's devil horns coming out of the side of his head. "That's...weird." (name) commented. Akabane's eyes turned to dots as he turned his head to the side in confusion.
"Ah! I don't mean it like that." (name) whispered, "Normally, people go with animals like dogs or cats. I think lions are pretty cool. They're like kings and have dominance over almost every animal in the jungle. It was just weird to hear a new answer." Akabane sighed.
"I dunno why people don't like you."
"Huh?" (name) audibly gasped, looking at Akabane for an explanation. "I mean, I did bother you on your first day here but.." He looked up, thinking of a way to phrase what he had to say.
"You really did upset me on my first day, but I want to be understood. I want to tell others how I'm feeling so they don't misunderstand, but everytime I try I get turned away or people run away. So, I hope you understand how I feel and we can become friends!" (name) exclaims showing great determination.
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!" Jelavich shouts, making (name) flinch while Akabane is still shocked by her words. Jelavich's class soon ends and the students prepare for P.E. The students are practicing their shooting skills with Karasuma.
Mimura Koki, a male student with light brown hair styled in a bowl cut (who I never knew this guy existed until today), brought everyone's attention to Korosensei and Jelavich. "Hey, now–you kiddin' me? They're goin' into that shed together."
More students looked towards their two teachers. "Kind of a let-down, watching Korosensei fall for such an obvious ploy." Sugaya added. "Karasuma-sensei. I don't think we'll ever warm up to her." Kataoka Megu, said what everyone else was thinking. "Apologies. She's a pro here on government orders. Still..completing all her preparations in a single day proves that she's an assassin of the highest caliber." Karasuma stated.
(name) continued practicing her shots, with the help of Kanzaki, her new friend. "Wow! You're so cool, (name)." Kanzaki complimented. "C-Cool?! W-Well, I can shoot a gun like nobody's business! It's the super easiest thing ever!" (name) did little hand movements to express her happiness. "You get carried away so easily (name)." Kanzaki giggled.
"Nooo!" The students heard Jelavich yell from the shed. "What was that?" "Gunshots, a scream...and now a slithery sound!"
"Noooo~!" The shed shook as the students flinched at Jelavich's heavy groans.
"She's getting slithered but good!" Okajima Taiga, the class' pervert blushed. "Let's go!" Maehara announces, already sprinting to the shed.
He and Shiota arrive at the shed first, where they see Korosensei exiting, his full body pink. "Korosensei!" Shiota calls. "How are those boobs?" Okajima excitedly asks.
"I wish I could've enjoyed myself a little longer..." Korosensei admits, his smile growing even wider, "but I'm really looking forward to our classes together."
"Wh-What happened in there?" Shiota questions, a bit scared to ask. Suddenly, Jelavich comes out of the shed on shaky legs and an old gym outfit.
"Bitch-neesan is wearing a wholesome, retro gym outfit!" One of the students shouted. "To think he did all that to me in only one minute..He loosened my stiff shoulders and back, gave a lymphatic oil massage, got me changed at top speed, and then to do that slithery thing with his tentacles?" She was barely out of the shed before she collapsed in front of the students.
"What thing?!" The few students there questioned, almost disgusted. Shiota turned to look at Korosensei and pointed to their passed out teacher, "What did you do, Korosensei?"
Korosensei averted his gaze from the students with a blank face. "Oh, you know, grown-ups need grown-up care." "That's the face of a guilty grown-up!" "C'mon children, back to the classroom!"
For the students' English period, they watched as their distressed teacher frantically tapped on her tablet. She gritted her teeth as her tablet stopped working abruptly. "Dammit! Why doesn't this backwoods school have Wi-Fi?!"
Akabane leaned back further in his chair. "You're trying awfully hard, Bitch-neesan. Your pride must be in tatters after that." Jelavich glared harder and stopped paying attention to her tablet. "Excuse me..." Isogai Yuuma, the class' resident leader, interrupted. "What?" Jelavich snarled.
"If you're not going to teach us anything, could you swap for Korosensei? We've got entrance exams this year." He informs her. "Ha! You want that vicious creature to teach you? You think your exams compare at all to a planetary crisis? Besides, I understand you E- Class students are the school's loser misfits."
The students visibly tensed and looked down. "There can't be any point to studying now." She continued. "I know–how about this? If my attempt succeeds, I'll give you 5 million to share!" She stands and shows her hand to the students, emphasizing all of them. "That's far more you'd gain from any pointless schoolwork! So shut up and do as I-"
A flying eraser hit the chalkboard behind Jelavich, just a few centimeters away from her face. As it fell onto the teacher desk, it left a big dent in the chalkboard and a few cracks forming on the sides. "I can't tolerate you talking to my classmates like that. Jelavich." The students turned around to see who had done that.
They gasped once seeing (name) with her hair covering her face. "Get out, Bitch!" She snapped, looking straight at their English teacher, her dark eyes glowing. A rebellion followed.
"What she said!" "Get out, you damn bitch!" "Bring in Korosensei!"
"Where'd all this come from?! I'll kill you all!" Jelavich panicked, covering her face with her arm
"Yeah go ahead we dare you bitch!" "Your boobs are way too big to be a teacher!" Kaede complained, holding a sign that said 'No Big Boobs'. "That's your complaint?!" Shiota shouted at her while he covered his head to block all the flying objects.
(name) hurled another eraser at Jelavich - that hit her right on her forehead - which was from Akabane, who was giving her ammo to throw.
Outside of the classroom, Karasuma placed his palm on his forehead and sighed.
As the day passed, the students didn't worry about Jelavich that much since she didn't return for a while. They talked and played games in their cliques until their "favorite" teacher entered. She walked to the front of the class, picked up a piece of chalk, and wrote a sentence on the board.
"You are incredible in bed. Repeat." Jelavich spoke in English, pointing at the board with chalk. "Come on." She encouraged the students in Japanese. "Y-You are incredible in bed." The students attempted in English, with a heavy Japanese accent.
"When I assassinated a certain VIP in America, I first turned on the charm to get close to his bodyguard. Those are the words he said to me. They mean: "You're great in the sack!" " She explained.
'Just what are you making us junior high kids say?!' Shiota's face was flushed.
"It's often said that the fastest way to learn another language is to get yourself a lover who speaks it. You want to know what they're feeling, so you try your hardest to understand what they say. When necessary in the course of my work...I have used that method to learn more than a few new languages. Therefore, my lessons will teach you how to sweet-talk foreigners. The basics of chummy chats, straight from a pro assassin: Master them and they'll come in handy with a real live foreigner." She paused, a small blush appearing on her cheeks as she looked away.
"Let that octopus teach you what you need for your exams. The only thing I can teach you is practical conversation skills. And if you still don't think of me as a teacher, I'll give up on my assassination and leave. Th-That ought to fly with you all." She finished, with her hands wrapped together in nervousness. "And..I'm sorry about all that stuff. Especially you, (mispronounced name). I'm really sorry."
(name)'s eyes widened in surprise, not expecting this sudden apology. "It's (name) Bitch-neesan!" "Get it right!"
"Ah! Of course, (name)." Jelavich acknowledged her mistake. "Sorry for hitting you on the forehead with an eraser." (name) let out small chuckles, apologizing to her teacher as well.
The students burst out in laughter. "Why so nervous? You were just threatening to kill us!" Akabane smirked. "She's totally a teacher now." Maehara added, softly smiling. "We can't call you Bitch-neesan anymore now." "It was a pretty rude thing to call a teacher." "Yeah, we need something else." "How 'bout "Bitch-sensei"?" Jelavich froze.
"Er..how about we move away from the whole "bitch" thing? Just call me by my first name. I don't mi–" She suggested, before being interrupted by Maehara. "Yeah, but that "bitch" thing isn't going away." "Yeah, Bitch-sensei fits her way better than Irina-sensei." "Well, there you have it. Welcome, Bitch-sensei!" "Let's get started, Bitch-sensei."
"UGHHH!! I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH!" She yelled at the students.
"She's fitting right in." Korosensei said outside the door. "More or less." Karasuma added.
"Don't screw with me! Bunch of rotten brats!" Bitch-sensei yelled from inside the classroom. She continued yelling at the class as they smiled and laughed at her. "Aren't you cute?" "I AM NOT!"
(name) smiled to herself. 'I think I'm really going to like it here.'
❤︎I end of chapter 2, grown-up time
❤︎I more long chapters incoming
❤︎I also just because I missed it:
"Korosensei's Weak Point #1: When he shows off, things get shaky"
"Korosensei's Weak Point #2: He has an unusually short fuse"
"Korosensei's Weak Point #3: He's petty"
"Korosensei's Weak Point #4: His punches are weak"