WARNING: mentions of hard drugs, drug trafficking, stripping, and alcohol
Jeongguk would be lying if he said he hadn't missed stripping.
Bathing in the perverted attention of a handful of sad, little men whose wives were most likely unaware of their infelicitous desires truly felt relishing at times when his self confidence was plummeting.
Well, that and the deafeningly loud music drowning out his very own thoughts, as well as the spotlight dancing around in circles to illuminate every stripper one by one, and the amount of people observing him with that same old dull glint of lust in their lifeless eyes.
Though he knew he was nothing more than a mere object to look at and fantasize about to the eager crowd, their validation felt like a gust of fresh wind in a dry desert.
Without it, heat consumed him completely, burning off his soul and leaving him nothing but a worthless excuse of a body.
And even though sometimes the disgust he felt towards himself for seeking this kind of salacious attention became unbearable, deep down he knew he could not live without it; for he desperately needed and craved any form of appreciation, regardless of how gross and detrimental it could be.
And so here he was, bare from the torso down to his pelvis with the exception of a black tie wrapped around his neck, blinded by the spotlight as he danced along to whatever obscene song had been playing for the past few minutes. His gaze never once left the crowd, not even to check on the other strippers around him.
When the song finally hit its last notes, announcing a much needed break during which most customers went to get absolutely wasted at the bar whilst strippers surveyed the area for potential extra money, Jeongguk got up from his revealing sitting posture and hurried to get off the stage, his ears ringing and his racing thoughts no longer silenced.
He picked up his shirt from the floor, folding it in half before he swiped the material against his sweaty chest with a deep sigh of satisfaction. The music started again, much more quiet this time, just loud enough to cover the noisy crowd. Jeongguk quickly put his shirt back on, though it barely covered anything due to the white, wet material. He hated the feeling of it sticking to his skin but nonetheless, he made his way through the crowd and to the bar, where he immediately recognized Seoyeon.
The woman was seemingly busy chatting with a customer, but as soon as she noticed her friend, she cut the conversation short to wave at him, gesturing for him to come up to the counter.
"Hey." Mumbled Jeongguk, giving the man at the counter a mere nod of acknowledgment before he redirected his attention to Seoyeon.
"Jeongguk, you were fantastic out there!" She exclaimed with a smile, earning a singular smirk in return. "I mean, you always are but you're on fire tonight. What did you take?" She raised an amused brow at him as she poured a clear liquid — which Jeongguk assumed to be vodka — in a small glass. The blond cleared his throat, watching the girl down the shot before he awkwardly muttered;
"I didn't take anything, actually."
Seoyeon gave him a suspicious glance. "You sober?" When the man nodded, she had to fight with herself to contain her snort. "Tryna quit?"
As expected, Jeongguk shook his head, so she allowed herself to chuckle. "Thought so. Can I get you anything? I don't have drugs, but I have tequila and lime juice."
"If you're offering me a margarita, the answer is yes." Jeongguk simply said. He would need the alcohol to survive until the end of his shift.
"That is what I'm doing." Seoyeon grinned. "But seriously, how are you doing Jeongguk?"
"Good." He watched her get a fresh bottle of tequila from the big fridge behind her, catching an accidental glimpse of the tattoo on the back of her thigh when she bent down to get another glass. He'd never dared ask about it, but the inked spider had always intrigued him.
"Still seeing the hot rich guy?" Seoyeon asked, pushing Jeongguk's drink closer to him with a mischievous smile.
"Yup." The older answered, popping the p as usual.
"Going well?" She continued, playful smile turning into a smirk as she watched Jeongguk blush. "Oh? Is it actually going somewhere?"
"It might be..."Jeongguk mumbled, shaking the pink off his cheeks with a vehement shake of his head. " But I don't know if I should really be dating right now." At that, Seoyeon pursed her lips with a melancholic look in her eyes. She knew exactly how her friend was feeling, for she was no stranger to doubts when it came to love either. In fact, she overthought everything so much that relationships now seemed more like a complicated math problem of which she didn't know the formula, than a fun, emotional experience.
Yet she couldn't let her friend end up like her. If there was even an atom-sized hope of saving him from losing himself completely, she would do anything she could to help him. More than anything, she wanted Jeongguk to be happy, and though it pained her, she knew the only way for him to ever feel that way was if he cut all ties with Han — and anything related to the man. For everything he did for the man, destroyed him a little more. It was only a question of time before Han sucked the soul out of his body and left him a hollow shell of a man, just like he'd done to her.
And if it was too late for her, the innocent glimmer of light in Jeongguk's eyes made her think that perhaps, it wasn't too late for him.
"Why shouldn't you be dating? You're in your twenties, that's what people do at that age. They date. And you've been holding off for a long time. Don't self-sabotage by depriving yourself of a good experience, Gguk."
Jeongguk was about to answer, she could tell by the way his adam's apple bobbed as he nervously swallowed his saliva. But just as he was about to open his mouth and speak up, an all-too familiar voice cut their conversation short.
"Jeongguk, come with me."
Han.
Jeongguk's fingers clenched around the thick glass of his cocktail, his heart pounding in his rib cage when he turned around to face the man.
As per usual, Han was sporting his nerdy rectangle-shaped glasses and an expensive, loose suit with a black tie that seemed to be way too tight on his neck, judging from the redness surrounding the knot of it. His left hand was in the pocket of his trousers, the other reaching out grab the glass of whiskey Seoyeon had just poured him.
"But I'm not done with my shift?"Jeongguk frowned, confused and anxious. What did the man want now? Had he not tortured him enough over the past few weeks? "I'm supposed to work unt—"
"I don't give a fuck, Jeongguk. Seoyeon can take your shift, can she not?" He glared over at the girl; who hurried to nod her head yes — it wasn't like she really had a choice, anyway. "Great, then it's settled. Seoyeon, go get changed. Jeongguk, you're coming with me."
He didn't bother waiting for a response from either of them and grabbed Jeongguk's wrist to drag him all the way through the crowd and into the back rooms of the club, which were reserved for VIP customers and staff members. Jeongguk watched the unknown faces pass while Han dragged him, searching for a friendly face or maybe a worried look on one of these faces, but to his disappointment, he found none.
And so he let himself be walked around like some kind of dog on a leash, until Han finally let go of his wrist — not without giving it a vicious squeeze that was sure to leave a bruise beforehand.
"Shirt off." The man ordered, voice cold and tone harsh as he came to a stop in front of one of the back rooms' doors.
Jeongguk was stunned by the sudden request, but he didn't even get the time to ask before Han added;
"Take your shirt off now, Jeon. Or I'll do it myself." God, he hated to see the look of sick satisfaction in Han's eyes everytime he got his way, but he didn't have much of a choice. Right now, and especially right there, he was at Han's mercy.
He sighed.
A second later, his shirt was nothing but crumpled fabric on the floor.
"Thank you." Han smirked, jubilant. "There's an important meeting going on in this room" he pointed at the door to their left, more serious now. "I want you to attend it with me, as my right hand man."
The word still made Jeongguk's stomach churn in apprehension, but he kept a straight face on. "Of course, I would've told you earlier so you would have had time to get ready, but it's so much more fun making you attend it like this." He was getting off of Jeongguk's powerlessness, drinking in the sight of him half naked and humiliated until he was wasted, any ounce of empathy left in him disappearing to make space to his cruelty.
Before Jeongguk could utter any word, Han had opened the door, unveiling a dozen of people — most of which were middle aged men, accompanied by barely dressed women who Jeongguk guessed were strippers.
He made eye contact with them; they glared at him. No one here was his ally. He was all alone, but thankfully he was used to it. Han gestured at him to take a seat on one one of the wooden chairs in front of the large, round table in the center of the room, and so he sat. Across from him, a man with a blunt stuffed between his chapped lips, and a pair of naked legs on top of his own, hairy ones. Jeongguk winced at the unpleasant sight.
"Everyone, this is my assistant, Jeongguk." Han introduced him as he shook one of the men's hand, not bothering to ask if Jeongguk was comfortable letting strangers call him by his first name.
The men acknowledged his presence with a robotic nod of their heads and seconds later, everyone was sat, and the dreadful conversation started.
It was going pretty well.
Until Han's hand left the confines of his pocket to wander off on his bare thigh, teasing at the material of his fishnet tights.
Jeongguk was like frozen in his spot, immobile as the man's rough palm ran up his thigh, reaching areas it was not supposed to.
And yet, the younger didn't utter a word. How could he, when he was in Han's territory, basking in his power? He merely squirmed, lips tightly pursed to prevent any sort of sound from leaving his mouth.
Yet he couldn't help but let out a hushed yelp when Han full-on grabbed his thigh to pull him closer.
"What are you—" Jeongguk started, only to be cut off with a sneer.
"Oh? Do you have some insight to share with us, sweetheart?" Han rose a challenging brow at him, knowing very well he had succeeded already. He had Jeongguk right where he wanted him — wrapped around his dirty, gross, perverted fingers. "Well, come on Jeongguk. Don't be shy, share your thoughts with us." Left with no other choice but to speak up, Jeongguk chose to play along, even if the mere nickname Han had for him, made him want to puke.
"I think we need to think bigger. I mean, let's be honest, coke isn't that profitable for us. It would be different if we were in the states, but it's just too difficult of a process to get coke to Korea. It sells well but what's the point if half the money is lost in importation?" God, what was he doing? He knew he wasn't supposed to play along. He wasn't supposed to help them for God's sake, but he couldn't stop himself from talking. Was it because of their dark eyes full of expectations? Or simply because he was just as evil as every single of of them? He didn't know, didn't wish to. He just wanted this to be over. Just wanted to clean up the mess he had made, but it was too late.
Way too late, for he was drowning in it now, in the mess he'd created for his own self. It was too late to get out of it. Too late to turn say, leave, and slam the door behind him.
There was no door anymore.
Just this room, these shabby walls, these wicked men, these broken women, and himself.
There was no door, so what was the point of trying to escape now?
"So you're saying we should stop selling coke?" One of the men spoke up, breaking the silence that allowed Jeongguk to drown in his dejected thoughts. The blond nodded vehemently, his body acting without any sort of consent from his brain. Everything felt robotic and unnatural, as though he was a mere character in a crappy play.
Han was looking at him intently, his eyebrows raised in what he assumed to be surprise. Obviously the man didn't expect him to have helpful insight. If his goal had been to humiliate him once more, the result he obtained was even more interesting.
I might make a good use of Jeongguk, after all.
He nodded at the boy to continue, and so Jeongguk did.
"I'm saying, there's better options. Let's face it, we could make a lot more from selling meth. It's easier to make, and we can get it for cheap from Myanmar or something. Not to mention how quicker it would be since we would get it directly from Asia instead of South America." His analysis earned him a bunch of nods of approval from the men in the room, who exchanged surprised glances with each other at the unexpectedly coherent speech of what they thought to be a fucked out junkie.
Jeongguk didn't feel proud at all. Instead, a sudden wave nausea washed over him and he hurried to slap a hand over his mouth to stop himself from vomiting.
He had no idea where this speech came from, for he always thought of himself as a mere spectator of what was happening around him.
Sure, he was working as Han's drug dealer, but he had no idea how the hell the man got his nasty hands on cocaine. All he had done this whole time was sell it as he was asked to, but apparently his brain picked up some information every time he overheard Han speak to his sidekicks. And now he was using it to help the person he despised the most get richer and destroy even more lives.
How fucking ironic.
"Well Han, you got yourself a good one here." One of the men laughed, the rough sound full of mockery and innuendos. The other men joined him, creating a chorus of sneers.
Han seemed just as astonished as them; his eyebrows were furrowed, though a satisfied smirk was gracing his chapped lips. He stared at Jeongguk with eyes that yelled 'i won' before chuckling as well.
"I guess I did."
Jeongguk could almost hear the gates of Hell slamming shut behind him.
I wanted to make a longer chapter but i really need to get back to a proper updating schedule 🧍