Haphephobia: Fear of Being Touched
Aurelia was nervous.
It didn't help that she didn't have her necklace and was surrounded by the majority of Camp Jupiter and the city's citizens—all who feared the monstrosity that floated above them. The warship, full of Greek demigods, was floating several hundred feet above the ground, and on that ship was the son of Jupiter, Jason Grace.
Jason. It had been eight months since she had seen him in person, and only a few days since he chased her in her dreams (but that doesn't really count as seeing him). A lot can change about a person in eight months—she herself was a good example.
What if Jason was a completely different person? What if Jason didn't care for her anymore? What if he had moved on from her?
"You nervous too?" Percy murmured.
Aurelia glanced up at the son of Poseidon with a blank expression. "A bit. You are making me nervous." Despite his easy countenance and former excitement, Percy's emotions were very anxious, only adding to Aurelia's own feelings. Both had a lot riding on this meeting—on this reunion.
"Hey, it'll be okay," Percy squeezed Aurelia's shoulder, which untensed a little despite her usual aversion to physical touch.
She blinked. "I think I am the one who is supposed to reassure you."
"We can take turns." He gave her a troublemaker grin that made her want to roll her eyes.
Aurelia looked back at the ship. Her friends Hazel and Frank were walking together a few steps ahead of Aurelia and Percy, staring at the ship in amazement like the majority of the surrounding crowd. A long ladder came down from the ship and several figures began to climb down. The purple cape and blonde hair was the only figure Aurelia really focused on. Even from so far away she could feel his emotions, his familiar aura. So close. He was so very close.
"You good, El?" Percy asked.
"They really are here," Aurelia sighed. It hadn't felt real but it was. They were here. Finally.
The crowd naturally parted for the Greek demigods, giving them a wide berth to walk forward. They all studied the forum in equal amazement and wariness. Aurelia studied the four Greeks as well.
The boy who resembled Hazel's dearest Sammy Valdez was the most relaxed out of the four demigods. She remembered him being referred to as Leo. His hands kept fidgeting at his side, unable to keep them still. He seemed to be distracted, and the least nervous out of the group—as if his head was still dancing in the clouds atop of his ship.
Then there was the girl who looked to be of Native American descent. If Aurelia recalled correctly from her dreams, the girl was named Piper. She was dressed in tattered jeans, worn-out sneakers, and a white tank top with pink Hello Kitty designs. Beautiful, undoubtedly, but she seemed to be downplaying that fact with a lack of makeup and strange clothes. Her emotions were wary, as if she was half-expecting to be attacked.
Then there was Annabeth Chase, who's emotions were a strange mix: anticipation for the meeting, amazement at the Roman architecture, and a little bit of fear of something going wrong. But the blonde girl looked exactly as Aurelia remembered—right down to the messy blonde curls.
She really couldn't have cared for them after all these years, Aurelia mused.
And finally, Jason Grace. He stood tall and beautiful in his purple praetor's cape, which covered an orange shirt similar to the one Annabeth wore. His features were that of a Roman statue. And as the crowd parted for Aurelia, Reyna and Percy, his eyes met hers with emotions so powerful, it took her breath away.
Jason stared at Aurelia in amazement. The monsters in her eyes were oddly still as they stared back at him. Pure obsidian to sky blue. Neither looked away.
Aurelia had never felt so tunnel visioned ever. All the other surrounding emotions—the fear, the worry, the love—was completely forsaken by her as she stared at Jason. Every molecule in her body was at work, keeping her in place with her expression blank and her hands clasped together in front of her neatly folded dress.
Reyna was speaking, and Aurelia still couldn't bring herself to look away.
It wasn't until the sudden movement of Annabeth Chase that Aurelia was finally able to tear her eyes away.
Annabeth had surged forward, and Percy had promptly followed her lead. Several people in the crowd tensed, reaching for weapons that weren't there, their emotions causing dark shadows to form on Aurelia's skin. The two met in the middle, embracing tightly, their lips meeting in an urgent kiss.
Aurelia's mouth parted ever so slightly as her tunnel vision reappeared, but not for Jason Grace. Rather it was for Annabeth and Percy, and the heavy amount of love they radiated for each other. It was so powerful, so potent, she honestly felt like she was invading a private moment just by watching, but she couldn't bring herself to look away.
It was such pure, unbridled emotion—emotions that she hadn't seen in a long time.
Percy was the first to pull away, cupping Annabeth's face with his hands to study her. "Gods, I never thought—"
Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. The new praetor of Rome slammed into the stone pavement. Several Romans cried out. Some started to surge forward, but Reyna raised her hand and shouted, "Hold! Stand down!"
Annabeth put her knee on Percy's chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. Her emotions were strange—angry, relieved but still a large amount of love. A large ball of worry and bitterness that had been swelling underneath her loving surface finally burst. "If you ever leave me again, I swear to all the gods—"
Percy laughed. "Consider me warned. I missed you too."
The fire in Annabeth's eyes dispersed as she rose and helped him to his feet. Aurelia looked down a little to hide her smile—Annabeth's emotions were indicating that she kinda wanted to kiss Percy again.
Jason cleared his throat. "So, yeah ... it's good to be back."
Jason began the introduction and after that beautiful display of love Aurelia was ready to focus on her actual job—the job that Reyna expected her to do right now.
The other girl, Piper, seemed to be a little annoyed about something, but she still managed a half hearted smile in greeting. Then the boy, Leo, grinned and flashed a peace sign when Jason introduced him before looking at Aurelia and winking at her. Aurelia raised an eyebrow, still unsure what to make from this guy's relaxed, carefree emotions.
"And this is Annabeth," Jason said. "Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people."
Reyna's eyes sparked with amusement. "You sure you're not a Roman, Annabeth? Or an Amazon?" Reyna looked at Aurelia. "You see it too, right?"
Aurelia gave a nod. "Yes. She does have that fire in her eyes."
Annabeth held out her hand. "I only attack my boyfriend like that," she promised. "Pleased to meet you."
Reyna clasped her hand tightly. She was about to yell out an order but then Annabeth turned to Aurelia and held out her hand to her as well.
It grew incredibly silent as people noticed. Aurelia didn't take her hand—in fact clasping her hands tighter in front of her. A few snickers came out, "She has no idea what she's trying to do," but Annabeth didn't let her hand fall.
Aurelia glanced at Reyna, unsure if she should take it. When people knew, they feared touching her. She figured Jason must have told her what happens when someone touches Aurelia for the first time. Although, if he told them that, he probably also told her why she touched people's hands. It sort of amused Aurelia how determined Annabeth was to shake her hand—how determined she was to prove that she could be trusted. Reyna gave a nod of approval and Aurelia slowly unclasped her hands.
Aurelia took Annabeth's hand and the gasp from Annabeth was instantaneous.
The fear was easy to find. But it was like removing a stick from a dam. Like all of Annabeth's fears had been repressed so long that Aurelia looking at the surface was enough for everything else to come tumbling back into existence.
Aurelia saw Percy, slowly disappearing into the Roman camp, refusing to look at her. She saw the Romans blasting their ship out of the sky—that Camp Jupiter would have shot them down as enemies. Then she could see a graceful woman, resembling a goddess, scowling at Annabeth in shame. The sleepy face of Gaea appeared on a strange hill with a single pine tree and the ground began to split in half. She saw a blonde boy with gold eyes, a scar on one of the eyes, staring at her with hatred.
More and more fears kept tumbling out—spiders, Cyclopes, people Aurelia couldn't identify dying or disappearing. A beautiful, peaceful looking summer camp with strawberry fields, a canoe lake, volleyball courts, and cabins being destroyed. Then it circled back to Percy—Aurelia could see herself, her hand on Percy's arm with her nose upturned and Percy turning away from Annabeth towards Aurelia.
Aurelia released Annabeth's hand. She had only been holding her hand for merely three seconds, and all of those fears were now circling around Aurelia in the form of dark shadows. The veins on Aurelia's arms turned a deadly black and the shadows clung to her, some whispering in her ear, others just dancing their way up her arms.
Annabeth was now shocked. Although the presence of Aurelia being inside her mind was gone she still felt like someone was in there. That experience left Annabeth feeling naked and bare for all to see. Annabeth remembered what Jason once said when explaining the Roman trust: "When a new person comes to camp, Reyna will usually have them take Aurelia's hand so she can see their fears. By agreeing to it, it's a sign of cooperation, and as long as Aurelia finds nothing harmful, trust is earned."
But Annabeth hadn't expected Aurelia to see all of it. She watched the daughter of Pavor—she still held the blank expression she had when they arrived, except now the shadows of Annabeth's fear surrounded her. Aurelia's expression and relaxed posture didn't change. All she did was run her hands over arms and the shadows rolled up with her hands and disappeared underneath the straps of her dress.
The monsters in Aurelia's eyes were dancing at the fears. She sent a glance at Reyna, the corner of her lips upturned just the slightest and gave a nod.
Reyna smiled widely at Aurelia's assessment. "It seems we have much to discuss then. Centurions!"
The senior officers hustled forward, including Frank and Hazel, who each stood at Percy's side.
Percy was about to step closer to Annabeth but Aurelia raised her hand for him to stop. He gave her a questioning look but Aurelia just held up her finger in a wait a minute gesture. She turned to the blonde girl, moving towards and beckoning her closer.
Aurelia's lips hovered but Annabeth's ear and in a soft whisper she said, "Percy loves you so much. Much more powerfully than I have ever felt. You do not need to fear him leaving you again."
She leaned away and Annabeth flushed a little, embarrassed by that fear of hers and that Aurelia saw it. But she still held her head high, thankful for Aurelia's reassurance. "Thank you. That was ... that was a stupid thought of mine."
"Many fears do seem insignificant in retrospect," Aurelia agreed. "But their manifestation occurs for a reason. There is no shame in that insecurity."
Annabeth was still flushed. "Are you, um, going to tell—"
"No." The word was a full sentence and although it was subtle, Annabeth could feel herself relax more at Aurelia's even expression and soft, impartial tone. "But if you ever need to talk about it, I am told I make a very good therapist." A depressing therapist, but a therapist nonetheless.
Aurelia studied Annabeth. She wondered if the blonde would remember her and Reyna from CC's Spa and Resort. Probably not, since it was so long ago, and there was no indication of remembrance from Annabeth. Would they tell her, or would it remain a secret?
Aurelia noticed the blonde girl held a similar expression that Reyna often held: the setting of her mouth and the deliberate setting of her chin, ready to accept any challenge while also holding back a hurricane of hopelessness, worry and fear that couldn't be seen in public. Aurelia sent another wave of calming emotion to help Annabeth relax. If her fears were any indication, she needed it.
Aurelia felt several pairs of eyes staring at her as she stepped away from Annabeth, leaving room for Percy to put his arm around his girlfriend's waist.
Aurelia now glanced at Hazel, feeling her emotions of despair, and noticing her pain expression as Hazel looked at Leo.
Hazel met Aurelia's knowing gaze and wet her lips. "It just ..." Hazel's voice was incredibly sad.
"I know," Aurelia murmured, grazing her hand to use her powers on Hazel. "I know."
Frank, who had been intently listening to Reyna's instructions, noticed Hazel's sadness and took Hazel's other hand. He tried to give her an encouraging smile, and Hazel took it.
Aurelia allowed her ghost of a smile to grace her lips. Couples stood on both sides around her. And just on the other side of both of these couples was Jason.
Jason had been watching Aurelia, worried. A lot of shadows had appeared on her skin when she had touched Annabeth, and there already had been fear to begin with. Even now, the fears of the surrounding crowd kept unintentionally being soaked in by her, like a sponge—and although she moved them up her arms to hide them, Jason knew they were still there.
Aurelia felt his worry and shook her head. I'm fine.
He raised an eyebrow. You sure?
She nodded and he pursed his lips, trying not to worry because he knew that even if she wasn't okay, she wasn't going to admit it. At least not in front of all these people.
Just a few more minutes, he thought. Then maybe you can properly greet her.
Reyna was finishing giving orders to her officers. "... Tell the legion to stand down. Dakota, alert the spirits in the kitchen. Tell them to prepare a welcome feast. And, Octavian—"
"You're letting these intruders into the camp?" Octavian elbowed his way forward. "Reyna, the security risks—"
"We're not taking them to the camp, Octavian," Reyna flashed him a stern look. "We'll eat here in the forum."
"Oh, much better," Octavian grumbled. "You want us to relax in the shadow of their warship."
"If you doubt Reyna's judgment, Octavian, why do you not just proclaim that?" The drawl of Aurelia's voice was lazy and annoyed. "These are our guests. We should treat them as such. We welcome them and we will converse with them, as such. As augur you should burn an offering to thank the gods for bringing Jason back to us safely."
The order made Octavian start spewing. If they were being technical, Aurelia didn't have the jurisdiction to order him to do that—but usually when she did make a comment like that, Reyna would back her up and Octavian would have to just shut his mouth and do it regardless.
This time Aurelia didn't even need Reyna's help.
"Good idea," Percy put in. "Go burn your bears, Octavian."
Octavian was outraged and looked at Reyna like, Are you kidding me?
Reyna was trying not to smile. "Listen to your praetor, Octavian. You all have orders. Go."
The officers disappeared. Octavian gave Aurelia the usual hated glare and she merely just turned her nose up to him—he was unworthy of her time. Octavian gave Percy a look of loathing after his lack of reaction from Aurelia before he gave Annabeth a suspicious once-over and stalked away.
Slowly the crowd disappeared too, all of them heading to go get dinner.
"Don't worry about Octavian," Percy said to Annabeth. "Most of the Romans are good people—like Frank, Hazel and Aurelia here, and Reyna. "We'll be fine."
Aurelia suddenly felt more alert. It was as if someone had draped a cold washcloth across her neck. She heard a whispering laughter again, as if there was another presence nearby. Aurelia's hand went to where her necklace usually rested only to be met with air. Something felt wrong. Very wrong.
Aurelia pursed her lips and pushed the feeling back. It was probably just paranoia and worry. Everyone here wanted and needed this meeting to go well. There was no way they were going to jeopardize that. Right?
"We'll be fine," Annabeth repeated.
"Excellent," Reyna proclaimed, turning to look at her former praetor with a hungry gleam in her eyes. "Let's talk, and we can have a proper reunion." She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Jason in a tight hug.
He hugged her back and Aurelia watched the interaction with her ghost of a smile. She had really missed hanging out with Reyna and Jason together. Her two better halves. Her two favorite people.
Reyna pulled away and looked at Aurelia with a knowing look. Aurelia ignored her cousin's emotions and the message she was trying to convey and took her turn.
Aurelia stepped up to Jason, slowly, cautiously—still scared that he would disappear the second she touched him. Her tunnel vision was back and she couldn't focus on anything other than the blonde boy standing a few feet away from her.
Jason's eyes followed each of her movements intently, his muscles relaxing as she came closer. Slowly, Aurelia wrapped her arms around Jason's shoulders and buried her head into his shoulder for a hug. Jason's arms were set tightly around Aurelia's waist and he closed his eyes, letting his chin rest on the top of her head. He pressed his lips to the crown of her head.
The scent of rain surrounded Aurelia as she held onto Jason tightly. Jason breathed in her scent of rosemary and honey, the familiar feeling of love and adoration filling him.
She didn't want to let him go. She didn't care that people were waiting, or that there was a meeting that would have to happen. She didn't care that he was gone for so long. She didn't even care that he had been with at another camp.
All that mattered was he was back. And in her arms.
Aurelia pulled back a little, still holding onto Jason, but far enough so she could properly see his face and vice versa.
Jason studied Aurelia, noticing the makeup that hid the bags under her eyes and the softness of her eyes—which to most people would be unnoticeable, but to Jason it was something he had spent years studying just so he could understand his best friend. He also noticed the gold hoops she wore and a slight smile graced his lips at the memory of buying them for her fifteenth birthday.
"I missed you, Grace," Aurelia murmured. She wanted kiss him.
"I missed you too, Lia," Jason whispered back. He wanted her to kiss him too.
The remainder of the people around them (The Greeks, Reyna, Percy, Frank and Hazel) were watching them, some in concern for Aurelia and others in concern for Jason. Aurelia expected those emotions. What she didn't expect was someone feeling jealousy and insecurity.
It was strange, like that needle in a haystack of surrounding emotions but Aurelia pulled herself out of her tunnel vision to find the source of it.
Aurelia made eye contact with Piper, who still held a sour and annoyed expression. The second Aurelia made eye contact with her, Piper looked away immediately, a little embarrassed, but her emotions didn't change.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
The realization hit Aurelia like a train. There was only one reason for Piper to feel jealous or insecure about Aurelia holding Jason, and it was exactly what Aurelia had feared would happen when Jason disappeared for so long.
Aurelia looked back at Jason and dropped her arms, quickly stepping back. The slight tightness of her body was subtle, but, again, Jason spent years studying Aurelia's body language just so he could understand her better. He knew that it meant she was upset.
Jason was confused as to why she could be upset or why she stepped back so quickly, but then he noticed Aurelia's gaze flitting between him and Piper.
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no.
Jason should have known that Aurelia would figure it out before he got a chance to tell her.
"We should go eat," Aurelia decided, glancing over at Reyna. She walked towards her cousin, who turned with her, the two of them naturally walking in step.
"What happened?" Reyna murmured.
"Nothing," Aurelia whispered. "We can talk about it later. We just have to go eat now."
Maybe Aurelia's dread and paranoia wasn't completely un-based. Maybe it had nothing to do with the fact that the Greeks would do something—and everything to do with the fact that the boy she loves no longer loves her in the same way.
A/N: So they saw each for the first time, in person, in eight months. It probably could have gone a bit better.