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Leo felt like she couldn't breath. It was later in the night, early morning, since she shook the hand of Pekka Rollins. She wanted to scrub her skin raw at the lingering feeling of his hand against hers.
Pekka wasn't one to trust easy, but he bought whatever Leo sold him. He had informed her of the stunt they are pulling against the crows the next night and Leo was pulling her hair out, trying to think of ways to let Kaz know.
Should she let him know?
She knew they had a Heartrender now, they heist should be an easy win. A few hiccups, but a win nonetheless with a Nina involved. Even against Pekkas crew.
She had sent a letter personally to one of her informants, hoping it would reach the Barrel boy in time.
She was back in her apartment. The first time back since she'd met with Inej a night prior. The room seemed to be haunting her rather than comforting here at the current moment.
She sighed heavily as her head dropped down onto her desk at which she was sitting. Still in her gear that had been sticking to her all day from consistent activities, she felt as though she hadn't stopped, she hadn't taken a break, hadn't give her self a moment to think of what she was actually doing.
And now she's made a deal with Pekka, of all people.
Looking towards her bed from her seat at her desk, she knew she wouldn't find sleep any time soon. And to that though she huffed in annoyance.
"Shit" she sighed in utter exhaustion.
Whatever was happening between herself and Inej was a weight on her shoulders. The constant thought of the girl, if she was safe, had Pekka found her, was she injured... did she think about Leo at all?
All the thoughts were putting pressure on her mind, distracting her from the task at hand.
The truth was, Leo never let people in. She never let people see a side of her that stayed behind lock and key, she never let anyone see her vulnerable. She had learnt from her mistakes and that made her cruel, made her angry, made her cold and closed off.
In the Barrel, you don't get to be vulnerable.
If you are, you end up dead, beaten —or in Leo's case— broken beyond prepare.
But when her and Inej caught eyes or they'd speak with trust... or even disagreed about something so pathetic as a bread roll. Leo felt that spark. That spark of pure innocence. Pure joy and happiness.... vulnerability.
She always prayed to have that one person she could be vulnerable with, one person to her as her. Not a killer or a cruel cold girl. Her.
Leo supposed, in that sense, that she did believe in some form of saint. Whether that was Inej's saints or some other, she didn't know. But that's where Leo's greedy side shone the brightest. She always asked the saints for something. From safety to happiness, or, warmth and her person.
She found all that in Inej.
They spoke few words...but it worked. Everything works with them. They understand one another.
But when you are greedy with the gods, consequences are a given.
Inej will leave eventually. She had to leave. And Leo has a guilty conscience widen than Ketterdam. She didn't want Inej to sacrifice her life goal for herself.
It was in the mix of these thoughts, that Leo felt a warm drip fall down her cheeks. She didn't have the energy to wipe it away.
For the first time in a very long time. Leo let herself cry, she let herself be vulnerable. All for Inej. Every weight on her shoulders, every past action was finally hitting the girl like a bullet train and she let herself feel the weight.
She let down her walls, alone in her apartment, and let herself feel something. And she cried.
Crying was not something Leo did. She would tear up when she was angry many years ago, but she found techniques and ways around it. The weakness in crying was not something she liked.
But all the questions and no answers were uncontrollable. Just like her tears in the moment.
She had no control. She always had control. And suddenly it was gone.
Leo, for the first time in a very long time, didn't know what to do.
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The sound of parchments scratching along the wooden desk echoed throughout the hollow room as Kaz hastily looked though them.
He didn't get far before a voice sent shivers down his spine and anger to pulse in his head.
"Fine night... ain't it, Brekker"
Pekka Rollins. Kaz wanted to scream at the fact that the heist was clearly done for.
"Burning the midnight oil, are we?" Kaz replied as Rollins lit the oil lantern, showing his face from the shadows he once stood concealed within.
"I though I'd cut to the chase" he spoke as she walked closer, removing his hat from him head and put it on the table.
Kaz, out of spite, thought the hat was ridiculously ugly.
Rollins continued to talk, "you cant show your face at my clubs and my brothels to pull threads on me-"
I know someone who can. Kaz thought,
"So where you you go?" Pekka carried on, "step away from the desk" he ordered, but Kaz stayed put asking,
"Why?"
Pekka shrugged, "I don't want blood in my furniture." He put plainly, "my numbers man will bill me for it, and, well, you've already cost me enough money by blowing up my club"
Kaz's sneer became most prominent at Pekkas words, "My club" be bit back,
Pekka just huffed in reply, "before I kill you, I want you to know that I brought in a madman to capture your Wraith. Sorry. My Wraith. Oh!" He chuckled sarcastically,
"I was wrong again... The Arrows Wraith"
Kaz tried to show surprised, he was secretly happy to know that Leo was the one he had sent after Inej... until he saw a man in a mask climbing up the rope he had once used to reach the window.
He concluded that Pekka not sent Leo after Inej, instead he sent some other madman.
It was supposed to be Leo who went after Inej, not on the heist, he hadn't know it was to be intercepted, but in general.
Leo was supposed to make the deal with Pekka to ensure Inej's safety. Taking one pressure off receiving his club and Barrel back.
Kaz hoped that Leo knew of the heist interception. He could only plead desperately in his mind that Leo would make it in time.
Will she make it in time?
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SUSPENSE!!
I took a new approach with this chapter to make it a little longer considering my long ass absence and to add some drama and Leo's inner dialog in a way.
I wanted Leo to have more emotions.
Because, yes she has emotion. But I feel -even in the Grisha verse- or any verse, if characters are just stone cold and don't show any emotion it can be boring and plain as hell.
So yes Leo is cruel and cold but she's human and can in fact cry. I wanted to show the effect inej has on her within the mess that is going on.
How do you think I did? Cause idk.
What do you want to see since Iv been gone for ages???
Ily all!!!! The amount of reads this has is blowing my mind, I really didn't expect it to be big atall!! And this is big for me atleast.
Chapters will be frequent again DW!! I have more in the works already.
Anywhoooo,
HOW CUTE!!!!!