people are getting on my nerves :)
I'll break down everything for you bit by bit so people in my comments and other ff writers stop writing literal shit and spread false information and stop calling everything they see SA or being a whore.
So a thing that's often written in my chapters is
Consensual Non-Consensuality, in short cnc!
And Non Verbal Consent.
Now, for everyone who lives in a little bubble. Consent does NOT always happen in a
"is that okay?"
-"yes", way!
Reality looks different, babes. A clear, NO, doesn't need a question before. Just to be clear.
Let's break both things down!
cnc:
Is as in the name, consent in a non consent way. This is BDSM play and is, obviously, not for everyone. This is NOT! R*pe. You literally consent to sex, while (pretending) not to consent.
non verbal consent:
is another way to consent to sex without having to use words!
Both things are a clear consent to have intercourse with a partner. You don't always have to use words to consent. You do have to use words to NOT CONSENT though!
Keep that in mind.
Contraceptives
the one is use in my story is an IUD!
other contraceptives, that are widely known, are obviously the condom and the pill.
Theres also, implants, injections, patches, female condoms and so on. Everything has its positive and negative traits. Some people are happy with an IUD, some prefer injections. Others like to be traditional and use the pill.
Others prefer not to use anything and stick to condoms.
Everyone has their own right to use what works for them and everything has to be talked about with a doctor to see what works best for you and your body.
On the other hand, please stop spreading false information about, "my period stopped" or talking about, "what stops my period".
Nothing stops your period. If your period stops, it means your body has health issues that could, in the worst case scenario, end deadly. Women, biologically, have periods, no matter what. The only thing you can 'regulate' is the blood flow, pain and schedule (in most cases).
Again, if your period stopped out of nowhere due to any contraceptives, diets and so on. Your body is telling you, that you got a certain health issue.
Please, seek a doctor!
Sex Lagging- Educational Things that I've noticed in FF's
Vaginal Blow
Often written in FF, partners blowing air onto/into the vagina. Do Not do this..
This can cause an air embolism!
Especially during pregnancy this can cause trouble for the baby and the mother. Worst case scenario, you can die from it if it enters your blood stream.
This IS a rarity but you should always be safe than sorry.
Cervix fucking
Something I have seen a good amount of times now. People writing about cervix fucking and bruising the cervix without knowing how dangerous this actually can be for your health.
Breaking it down.
Cervix Stimulation 'can' be safe. Heavily implied on the word 'stimulation' and 'can' but it does not have to be. (Stimulation, cause Stimulation doesn't equal fucking! FIY)
Cervix Stimulation first of all is not for every woman, some find it pleasing some don't, they find it rather uncomfortable or painful. It's a very deep penetration and can cause harm to the internal organism if not careful.
Bruising a cervix can cause intense pain, abdominal pain, bleeding, cramps and discomfort in sexual activities and for most of those you gotta see a doctor immediately afterwards.
Choking
yep, you can choke the wrong way. Choking the wrong way, can cause panic, long term damage to the brain, headaches, difficulties in swallowing, broken blood vessels in the eye and in the worst case, death.
The right way? Light pressure between the jaw and neck (google if you're unsure and try it on yourself first).
Choking is supposed to make you feel lightweight and woozy, not like you're fighting for your life.
Vaginal Tightness
Also a thing that is written ALL THE TIME.
If a Vagina is tight, there are several things that could be the issue but in a 'normal case'-scenario, a tight vagina while intercourse means the you're NOT turned on. Which will cause pain in penetration. It is perfectly fine, if you get 'lose'. This means you're turned on. You're comfortable with your partner. You feel good and safe.
This will make penetration a lot more pleasurable which is the key in the entire act. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable for all people included.
Of course there are sometimes genetics and occasionally mental things that cause 'tightness' but that are other things. Again in the most normal case scenario, not having a tight fit, is optimal.
Just like clothes.
First Time/Virginity
I hate hate hate first time, taking the virginity, fics cause they're written most of the time overly exaggerated or written like normal intercourse.
Both are wrong.
Every girl is build different and every girl has a different pain tolerance just as much as every body reacts different.
In short.
Some girls bleed, some girls don't.
Some feel the pain of getting their hymen broken, some don't.
Sometimes your hymen breaks from gymnastics or riding bikes. Sometimes they break, traditionally, from intercourse.
The part that annoys me the most is when they talk about 'fingering the hole' while you're a virgin.
Most of the time, it is Not possible. You will most likely feel discomfort and pain as you basically just push against it and stretch it. Fingering may lead to infection and irritation to the hymen (always keep your hands clean when touching yourself or if someone touches you, tell them to clean their hands). You can rupture/break the hymen while fingering but it's not a high possibility.
Other Educational Things
Not every women feels something inside
Yes, you heard me right. Not every women has 'feels' down there. Some women cannot come from penetration cause they simply do not feel anything. This does not mean that you're weird, it just means that you need to get stimulated in another way to reach your high.
Some women have no feelings in their boobs or nipples. Some are overly sensitive. Every body is pitched different and that's why you always have to find out what turns you on and what feels good to you.
Don't be afraid to speak up when you feel discomfort or even nothing at all.
Aftercare
Aftercare is a thing that is overlooked but should really be considered a routine. And I don't mean the 'cuddling' type of aftercare. I mean the, go take a piss and a shower aftercare.
Super important that after any type of action. Intercourse with a partner, Masturbation, Fingering, Sex toys and so on. Always, ALWAYS, go to the bathroom afterwards and take a piss. Drink lots of water if you can't, because you have to go to the toilet in order to prevent any vaginal infections and damages.
And take a shower..
Clean your shit. Piss and clean your shit..
This is also super important if you and your partner go raw.. Cuming inside -> definitely toilet
on that note
Cum
First of all, Cum comes in different variations. Shit that literally no one talks about.
watery
Thick consistency
A lot
A little
sticky
lumpy
and so ooooon-
Anyways, back on track. If you let your dawg hit it raw, don't forget to visit your doc regularly. Health check ups are super important to prevent any vaginal issues and health issues in general.
-
Please, to every writer. It does not cost you much time to google simply things like this and get information from several sources. I know not everyone gets sex ed in school or anywhere else, that's why it's even MORE important to educate yourself especially if you WANT to write about sex.
Sex isn't, "he bullied it inside her tight walls and fucked her cervix." This is wrong on so many levels.
Sex is about trust and comfort in your partner or One-night-stands. About your internal health and your living organism.
Sex is supposed to be fun and is supposed to be healthy for you and your body. Keep that in mind.
If you have any questions, my DMs, Discord, Instagram or even Comments are all open.