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MONTH ONE
BELLAMY WALKED INTO THE ROOM, his eyes sweeping over the dining tables searchingly. It had only been a week since they destroyed the mountain and laid it to waste. The bodies that were previously strewn across the floors were now buried beneath the ground; returned to the earth and fulfilling the dreams of the fallen posthumously. Blood still streaked the floors and walls, dried handprints staining the bare paint. Bellamy hadn't approved of Jinny following, but her father was still out of commission since the missile attack on Tondc. She was the highest-ranking officer that was on duty and it only made sense that she would oversee operations.
The man placed a hand on her shoulder and she turned her eyes from the dining hall floor where Maya had taken her last breath. Bellamy smiled down at her with an undercurrent of concern in his dark brown eyes. He knew just as much as she did that the events of the mountain changed them all-for better or worse, it still remained to be seen.
"Hey, you okay?" he asked her softly.
She lifted the edges of her lips with a tired smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah."
"You didn't have to be here, you know," he told her.
"No, I do," she responded automatically.
Bellamy bit his lip as his gaze roamed around the room, before landing on Jasper in the corner. The boy was slumped on the floor, staring blankly at the opposite wall. He'd insisted on following them for every run they made back to Mount Weather and they could never find it in themselves to stop him. Frowning, Bellamy averted his attention back to Jinny who was lost in another trance.
"David, you need any help?" he asked the Chief Guard almost pleadingly.
"We're bringing the rest of the bodies to bury outside," he replied and Bellamy grimaced.
"What's Sinclair up to?"
"Getting the power back up to all levels in the command centre."
Bellamy was starting to shift uncomfortably as he shot another perturbed glance towards Jinny. She bent down to pick up a small doll of a lion that had been discarded on a dining table. Its ears were frayed, one eye dangling loosely and white stuffing peeping out from the broken seams in its right arm.
"Hey, Jin, wanna see what Raven's up to?" he asked.
"Raven didn't come this round," David told him and Bellamy inhaled deeply through his nose.
A voice suddenly spoke up from across the room. "Hey, Jinny, I'm gonna check out the warehouses. Could use some back up."
Bellamy's expression lit up as he turned with grateful eyes towards Gina. He took the doll from Jinny's hand and placed it back on the table before pulling her along with him by the hand. "Yeah, we should check it out. Who knows, maybe Emerson is hiding out in there."
She frowned in bewilderment. "Emerson fled."
"Maybe he snuck back in when we left," he said with a shrug.
"If he managed to make it pass the Grounders surrounding the entire place," Gina pointed out when they reached her.
"Hmm, good point," he conceded and Jinny broke into an amused chuckle that made relief flood his face as he looked back to her.
They took the elevator and ascended the facility to level two, the trip being a familiar one to him. He held the elevator doors open for the two women to step out before following after them down the darkened hallway of the warehouses. Gina switched on her searchlight, prompting the other two to follow her lead as they walked towards the nearest store. She pulled open the handle and took a peek inside the vast room with its rows upon rows of shelves that were stacked high from floor to ceiling.
Jinny was the first to step inside, as was her wont, sweeping her torch from side to side. A look of awe was plastered on her face and Bellamy watched her with his own brand of satisfaction. Gina moved past him, throwing a knowing glance over her shoulder before bringing Jinny's attention to the stack of portraits that leaned heavily against a wall. There were other things in the warehouse, mostly stationary and paint. If they ever wanted to redecorate the Ark, this would be the place to go, Bellamy thought wryly.
"Hey, Jin," he called to her and she turned around to look at him. He pulled out one of the paintings from another stack that was against the hole in the wall where Jasper had once placed his radio. "Remember that painting I told you about? This is it. The Kiss."
Her eyes widened with a spark of admiration as she surged forwards to him, eager hands reaching out for the art piece. She examined the gilded portrait of two lovers embracing on the edge of a bed of flowers, awash in a sea of gold. It brought him back to their last Unity Day, when she ran away from him after he proclaimed his love to her for the first time. In that moment, he remembered feeling like smitten Apollo with his pitiful attempts at winning Daphne who eventually turned into a laurel tree to escape from him.
"Can we bring this back?" Jinny asked, looking up to him with excited eyes that he couldn't possibly say no to.
"I don't see why not," he responded with a shrug and she grinned in content, causing his heart to elate.
"There was another painting I wanted," she told him. "The one in Dante's quarantine room."
Bellamy nodded, remembering the swirling starlit canvas that had been behind the old man whenever they went to visit him. "We'll grab it before heading back home," he said.
"Thanks, Bellamy," she murmured, turning her gaze back on the artwork and he thought that he would give her the entire world to see her happy.
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MONTH TWO
COMMANDER SHUMWAY STARTED WITH A JOLT as a scream pierced through the night air. It was close by and familiar, causing him to instinctively reach out for his gun underneath the pillow. He winced, gritting his teeth in pain when he moved the wrong arm and cradled the stinging limb with the other. Once the throb had subsided, he took the gun and stepped out of the bed to make his way across the room.
The corridor outside was cast in a deep darkness that engulfed him as he treaded through its treacherous shadows. Their room was only a few doors down from his and he could hear it clearly now-the sobbing. Shumway raised his good arm and knocked loudly against the metal slab, eyebrows furrowed together in concern.
There was the sound of someone hushing the crying girl and she choked back the whimpers that continued to rack her chest. The door opened a fraction, Bellamy's anxious face peering through the opening at him. Through the scant light, Shumway could clearly see the distress that was etched along the lines of his face as well as the fear in his eyes. The young man tensed visibly when he saw who it was awaiting on his door step.
"Is she okay?" Shumway asked.
"Yeah," Bellamy replied quietly. "It was just a nightmare."
"It's been happening more often."
Silence fell between them as Bellamy averted his gaze to the floor and licked his lips nervously. "I know..."
"Bellamy?" her soft, trembling voice called from inside the room.
Shumway saw the pinch of worry on the boy's face as he turned his head slightly towards her before looking back at him. "She needs me," he said anxiously.
The Commander nodded his head, then the door closed and he left to return to his room. When morning came, he immediately sought both Kane and Abby for counsel. They convened in what had become their designated map room where a member of the Guard could always be found. A board by the side showed a rough sketch of the surrounding areas of the Ark which were separated into numbered sectors. Patrol routes were hastily scribbled beneath them as well as the names of the people who were supposed to be on duty. Despite the fact that the Grounders had left them alone for the most part, there were still those who posed a threat to their livelihood.
The door to the room opened and Shumway turned away from the strategy board, finding Jinny peeking her head through the gap. When she saw them, she opened the door wider to allow herself to slip into the room. There was an obvious taint to her once healthy skin which used to glow underneath the sun. Now, she looked dull and perpetually exhausted. Her eyes which once held a fire that could not be subdued had lost all its mettle and valour. She was a shell of who she once was; they could all see it, except for her.
"What's up?" Jinny asked, allowing her gaze to sweep across the room and a small crooked grin graced her lips-an act that stemmed more from habit than actual conviction.
"Have a seat," Shumway said, gesturing towards a chair.
"No, thanks," she replied candidly, a hint of her old self bubbling to the surface. "Just get this over with, I'm a very busy person."
"We noticed," Abby spoke up and Shumway sent her a significant glance.
He turned back to Jinny. "As you've noticed, my arm isn't healing. According to Abby, it was crushed during the missile attack and the bones have splintered. It'll need extensive surgery."
"Okay," the young woman resounded, a grim expression settling onto her face. "And?"
"I won't be able to resume duty for a long time, if ever," he continued, then stripped the badge from the shoulder of his uniform. He turned it over in his good hand so that the Ark's emblem was shown on top as he extended it towards her. "Congratulations, you're officially Commander now."
She merely stared down at it with horror marked so deeply in her eyes that only someone who was well versed in her idiosyncrasies would notice. Her jaw clenched, the muscle tensing visibly at the edge of the mandible. Finally, she lifted her eyes back to them as they watched her teeter precariously.
"Why?" she asked.
"It's the obvious choice," Kane explained. "You're the second highest officer in command on the Guard. Everyone looks up to you, they practically think of you as the Commander already. This would just make it written in stone."
She faltered, swallowing nervously as her brown eyes widened a fraction. Abby had enough as she leaned forwards over the table. "Jinny, it's okay if you can't handle-"
"No," the young woman said with a small scoff, "Of course I can handle it, I've been in command ever since we touched the ground." She swiped the badge from Shumway's hand before anyone could protest further. Her eyes grew sharp, almost frenzied, as she looked between the three of them. "I've been waiting for this all my life, this is the greatest moment ever."
But they all knew that she wasn't fooling anyone.
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MONTH THREE
JASPER WALKED THROUGH THE DOORS that led into the mess hall and almost did a double take from surprise. Seated by the bar was Jinny, dressed in an oversized white shirt with long sleeves that dangled loosely from her hands. It looked like something from Mount Weather; she'd been nicking a few things for herself. She was playing with Bellamy's hair as the man was slumped over the counter, presumably asleep. It was the first time that Jasper had actually seen a genuine smile play about her features since what happened, and he saw a lot that happened around Arkadia.
The boy made his way across the room towards the bar, searching for a cup in the near darkness and filling it up for himself. Jinny raised her eyes to look at him, Bellamy's hair still curled around her index finger. There were moments when he could remember the Commander that had protected them when they first arrived to the ground with crystal clear clarity, but they were always brief and transient.
"What's up?" he asked her with a carefree grin. "Burden of your guilt too heavy?"
She smiled languidly and leaned against a hand with her elbow propped on the counter. Nowadays, nothing reached her eyes anymore but tonight, they shone with cosmic diamonds. Too bad Bellamy was asleep, or else he'd be the happiest man on earth.
"I was going to have a few drinks to knock myself out," she told him. "But Bellamy fell asleep... he looks so peaceful. I can't bear to wake him."
"Yeah, that's what they all say," Jasper responded, taking a gulp of his moonshine.
"I wish I could sleep as peacefully as that," she went on, speaking more to herself than him.
"You're a sober drunk," Jasper pointed out and she laughed.
"How does that work?" she asked, finally releasing the tendril of Bellamy's hair from her fingertip and leaning against the bar top with both hands against her cheeks. "How can I be sober and drunk at the same time?"
The boy shrugged. "You tell me. How does someone pull a lever and kill three hundred people?"
"How does someone fall apart and give up on life?" she retaliated.
"How does someone have night terrors for three months because of all the shitty things they've done?" he shot back relentlessly.
Jinny fell silent, gazing back at him like a ghost lurking in the shadows of an abyss. "The same person who has everything to lose," she said softly.
"And the same person who has nothing left to lose," he retorted, downing his moonshine and grabbing a bottle of whiskey from a shelf. He hopped over the bar and landed on the other side before leaving the both of them alone. If he had stayed longer, he would have seen Bellamy stir. And through hazy sleep fogged eyes, the man would see Jinny smiling down at him with all the veracity of her love for him, and Jasper would have seen that it was the only thing left that she was holding on to.
The next day came like any other, with the scent of desolation and hopeless optimism. Jasper sat outside, feeling the need to breathe fresh air as he continued to waste away in his own pit of despair. It wasn't like he didn't know what he was doing, he just didn't care. He certainly felt no need to put on a mask of happiness while an eroding hole in his chest continued to consume every molecule of his being.
Watching Jinny was enough proof that it wouldn't work. The woman was currently crouched on the ground in the middle of the courtyard as she tended to a little girl who had fallen down. Jasper knew her name; Reece Lemkin, the eyepatch girl. She lost vision in her right eye because of severe oxygen depravation back on the Ark and her father had been one of the volunteers for the Culling. That was then, now the visual impairment had started to fix itself once they were brought to the ground. Jasper continued to watch as Jinny smiled and patted the girl's hair, pressing a piece of cloth against the scraps she now adorned on her elbow.
Raven came up to the woman after she had sent Reece back on her way into the station. They conversed together like the old friends that they were, trading jokes that showcased the mutual bond they shared. After a while, Gina walked up to them and they started to plan another upcoming run to Mount Weather together. The both of them had struck up a quick friendship, with Gina doing everything in her power to alleviate the weight on Jinny's shoulders. Raven waved them off and they started towards the garage where Bellamy was undoubtedly waiting for them.
Jasper turned his eyes back to the mechanic, watching as she pressed a hand against her bad hip and winced. Pain swam in her dark eyes as she bent over slightly, teeth gritting together before she limped her way back into the station. Jinny was not the only one who attempted to hide away her condition.
Jasper saw everything that went around in Arkadia, and he knew better than anyone about the sores that festered underneath the surface.
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