A/N: On September 5, 2023, fifty-two days from now, "GOYO: Ang Batang Heneral" is turning five. Who would have thought that such a historical epic would have a lasting impact for too many? And at the same time, who would have any idea as well that DEAD RECKONING would be read by too many readers as you for the past three years?
Everyone who've been with me since the start of this story since 2018, until this completion on 15 July 2020... And everyone who've recently found out of this story... From the very bottom of my heart, thank you very much! I don't know how you've found out of this ramble of a story, but I highly appreciate your warm response and comments throughout this story.
With that being said, you'll also realize that this chapter was published in surprise. With no other pleasantries and advanced announcement compared to the past two years that we're celebrating DR's anniversary with a new bonus chapter. You'll also realized that I've placed the bonus chapters immediately after "XLVI - Xeno", the last chapter of the story, and compiled all the author's notes in between last year's bonus chapter and with this one.
I know what you are thinking, and perhaps, you are right. With how I've sounded with the first three paragraphs. But it is with a heavy heart to made this decision that this is the last bonus chapter I'll be releasing in regards to DR. I've always said that there might be a chance that I'll be returning to writing something like this featuring another hero, and I did.
The previous year had been a whirlwind for me. I've earned my Commercial Pilot License last December; started to be inspired to write another Reader-insert story featuring another hero; lost one of my greatest supporter and friend last February; completed my 200 flying hours and firmly parked and chocks on the Cessna C172; and... right now, I am waiting for my instrument rating check ride before finally heading onward to the next chapter of training for the Airbus A320.
DR always had a special place in my heart. It had been a mark of my flying journey, too. And with me finally being brave enough to dare take the leap of faith that majority of you had been asking me of: regarding that other Reader-insert story, I did so. Though it hadn't been as successful as compared to this one with how things are... I don't mind at all. I guess we have different types concerning characters and heroes to idolize, do we? I guess, it had been only me who've been positive to think that my latest Reader-insert story, "ARTIFICIAL HORIZON", will cater the same readership and interest from most of you. And I guess, you'll all be hating me to learn that I am focusing more with AH and had been such a pushover to ask you to try reading it. No, I am not; no matter how honest I'll be to say that I've put much more heart, time, effort, tears, and research with AH's creation. I've always loved my stories equally, because all of them had been special to me. However, for DR's case, this is where, I believe, I am to close this story with finality.
DR has too many memories to treasure. It is like my time with a Cessna C172, and the time I've spent sharing majority of my stories and ideas to my friend. With it done, and him gone; I'll be saying that this is also my time to let go and focus on to the next. Hence, I am expectant to also have equally precious memories with AH as how I'll start the journey with an Airbus A320, and the rest of the year at peace with my friend's death, especially with AH being the first story I've completed that he didn't manage to read even a single word or sentence of it, and even not know its title compared to DR.
Anyhow, this is a rather lengthy starting Author's Note, right? But I just want to finally give you a head's up of it. So that you can treasure reading this new bonus chapter, too. In the end, I want you to read the last page of this story with a word from the actual storyline itself than my own Author's Note.
Allow me to shamelessly, once more, celebrate my fourth first solo anniversary today having to face the simulator this time for my build-up time with instrument rating prior to the check ride itself! And for anyone who wants to continue supporting me on my next projects, I'll then be turning my attention to "ARTIFICIAL HORIZON".
Here's my current view as of the upload of this chapter:
And here's a snippet of "ARTIFICIAL HORIZON":
Once again, even if we're to separate ways or not, I thank you, my travelers~ I've been very happy and grateful for the past three years that we've been together with the link known as "DEAD RECKONING". So long, and see you in AH!
Dream fearlessly, fiercely and freely. Continue flying high and God bless. ❤️
xoxo,
Capt. J
(143528-CPL)
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AS ALWAYS, AND FOR THE LAST TIME, THIS IS DEDICATED TO ALL OF YOU!
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SUMMARY: When the Battle of Tirad Pass happened that resulted to his untimely death, Goyo wasn't the only one who've spent beyond such moment with regrets. But with how things were right now, perhaps, they could start anew.
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I'm really on the ropes this time
I've been fighting all my life for you
I never should have said goodbye
But maybe that's what stupid people do
"Heneral!" he heard the sharp and urgent call of the Spanish lieutenant that came with him to see the extent of the American soldiers advancement in having them being overran in front and even behind.
And for a moment that he deemed to be so close to the end, he couldn't help staring at the stillness of the blue sky to whisper to the wind with a smile of his own, "Terminémoslo, (Y/N)."
Too many things about his own life had been romanticized. Perhaps, it was because how he considered life to be. Perhaps, that was how he envisioned to live life to the fullest was meant to be. That even in the end of time, there was some sense of narcisstic nature out of him—those teenage intentions and careless curiosities—that wanted to glorify death. Even though it hadn't been all too forgiving than he wanted.
'Cause you gave me peace
And I wasted it
I'm here to admit
That you were my medicine
There was no flashing of memories right at the face of death. There was no heralds of a chorus of angels nor the rage of blazing fire at the end of it all. In the end, his mind hit a brick wall.
His own body couldn't even feel whatever pain there should be; everything suddenly felt numb and foreign to him. But he knew that he was hit, that he was falling, that it was blood which he himself had cupped on his hand before kissing the barren ground. But he no longer cared. For weeks of escaping and fearing for everyone's life, especially that of hers, the sudden end of it just felt like some comforting rest.
He didn't expect that death, in the middle of the darkness and limbo, would be welcoming; despite being cruel itself.
Oh, I couldn't quit
And I'm down on my knees again
He remembered the words of the elders that someone's soul, at death, lingered to where they died. The length of their stay on the plane of the living differs; some were so quick to move on, and there were others who would never knew peace and stay for even an entire lifetime. They say that the reason that souls stay was because they have some unfinished business on this life.
He was no different. No matter how he easily welcomed the end. He have too many visions of how his future was meant to be. He had made too many plans of how he would try to be a better man for her. He dreamt of too many things; thinking that only having twenty-four years of life wasn't enough.
Hadn't he did alright with those few mere years? No, it isn't just some "few mere years". Because anyone, despite being sorrowful because of how short his life had been, would later on go saying that he lived what anybody gets. He got a lifetime.
Asking for nothing
"Goyo..."
Someone called for him. Not just anyone else but a very familiar voice. To add, this one who seemed to continue calling for his name had been crying. One that he would definitely consider to be some sort of ugly crying, and he was so sure that he would be scolding whoever it was for being such an embarrassment. However, there's a pinch of guilt and sorrow just simply hearing his nickname being spoken in such a way.
Slowly, he opened his eyes and came face-to-face with his brother's tear-stricken face. Julian appeared like a mess, as if he had been crying for quite a long time already; and upon seeing him looking up at him, he immediately brought him to a tight embrace as he continued mumbling his name.
He blinked, unsure of what was going on or what just happened, and he surrounded his arms around his brother a minute later upon feeling how tight the grip was. He then trailed his eyes around their surrounding, and every object to wherever his eyes landed on, his frown only deepened. Some sort of strangeness and familiarity enveloped the place and time. Like a part of him was telling him that most of the items were his, and at the same time, a weird inkling feeling that they were foreign for him to have possession of. His eyes then landed on to the two other young men in the room—an older one who stood by the doorframe, and the younger one who was sitting on the other single bed. They didn't need to introduce themselves, for he was sure that he knew them at first glance.
"Hoy, Julian," Pablo, their eldest brother, remarked with a sly smirk. "Nasobrahan naman 'ata 'yang pag-aalala mo. Pahinga lang kailangan niyan ni Goyong. At paano naman siya makakapagpahinga kung makapagdrama ka ay parang mamamatay na siya?"
Julian didn't let go, and he only shivered at the words. A part of his brain knew that he had reached the end, and yet...
"At paniguradong mas iiyakan ni Kuya Goyo na nagalusan ang kanyang mukha. Tama rin si Kuya Pablo, Kuya Julian. Hindi naman malala ang nangyari," Jacinto, the youngest, added.
He reached out a tentative finger onto his left cheek, feeling the gauze that covered a definite scratch right there. And slowly, he got a brief hold of everything that was going on.
Thank you for the happiest year of my life
Thank you for the happiest year of my life, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
He was still the same man he knew he was. He was still part of the family, fifth out of the sixth children. He was still living on the same neighborhood, and friends with those around the area. He was, surprisingly, a university student, who was spending his summer break and ended up suffering a concussion and a scratch on his cheek after a game of football. And, another thing, when he finally got a good grasp of everything... he realized that this was a second chance of living.
Because... it was the only reason he could attain what had happened out of it all. Things changed, or rather, time did. He could remember quite vividly the life he had before, and how things ended for him. But now, here he was. Very much alive, and very much far away from all of the troubles he had encountered. Peace reigned, and to add, he was three years younger than the last thing he could remember. And if ever there was a God above, he didn't know if he had been worthy of it all. After everything that he did.
Hindi. Imposible, he pondered. Imposible na dahil sa akin kaya naging ganito ang lahat. Hindi ako karapat-dapat mabigyan ng isa pang pagkakataon...
He might have welcomed death back then. He was so sure that he was prepared with what awaited him. However, it didn't mean that he was ready to face the everlasting condemnation of his soul in hell for all his faults. He had never been expectant of being heralded with the glory of heaven, if he were to be asked for his honesty. But this life he had right now was only possible to be of God-given. Even though, in the midst of it all, something... someone feels to be missing from his life.
Don't think I could forgive myself
I'm sorry for the ways that I used you
And I could care less right now
But you know, you hurt me pretty good too
His sleep was usually haunted by only two things—the nightmare of how he lived his life of blood, war, gore and sorrows; and the supposed-to-be dream of the fleeting figure of a young woman he could only remember to be called by him as "Pendejo". But even that latter one felt like a bad dream. Because he was only troubled by heartache that he was so sure that he could envision her, and yet, painful as it was, he couldn't even remember how she looked, or how she smelled, or how she sounded, or how she was as a tangible existence.
And he wanted to search for her. But how could he? When the basic things needed to figure out who that young woman was even lost to him?
Perhaps, when they cross paths, he would instantly regonized her. Like some fairytale story wherein, at first meeting, the world seemed to stop and that was it. He would know at once that it was her. And he wouldn't stop searching for her. Of course, how could he just give it all up at once? When he had too many words left unsaid to a certain Pendejo?
Yeah, we made each other bleed
And we tasted it
I'm here to admit
That you were my medicine
Because of the life that he had been living, he couldn't fully have the absolute time to do what he wanted: To search for where and whoever Pendejo was. He had such an inkling feeling deep down his soul that fate would lead their paths to cross one another again. And even if he tried living on with his life, he couldn't even remove his thoughts from such fleeting emotions that was strangely making him be a better man.
A lifetime ago, he knew that ladies flocked him. And being a young man, he entertained them. On this, it was still the same—ladies followed him—and also not—for he couldn't bear being close to them. Strangely, a certain Pendejo had a strong grasp on him; that just thinking of another made him feel like he had been cheating on someone that he was yet to meet and know in this life.
But it didn't mean that his life hadn't have its weirdness and mysteries, too. For some reasons, like some twist of destiny itself, the lifetime he had before still existed to be written down in history books. His life as that Boy General, just as how the life of those he had known from back then to also be living in this plane with a completely different present, but all the same have their paths crossed... too many then couldn't help asking what was his relation to the man he was from before.
"A distant relative," his answer would always be. After all, how could he explain to everyone that it had been him from back then and this was his second chance with life? It didn't sound ideal for him to be considered like a lunatic for saying such thing almost considered as an impossibility.
"Pero kahawig mo siya," they would often counter back. "Especially with the statue roon sa Tirad mismo."
As usual, the mention of Tirad and anything concerning his life from before brought nightmares to him. Some sort of deeply buried trauma that he struggled to get over with. The same way that every time that his birthday was to approach, he would ensure that he was really alive. And so, after three years of struggling to move on, he realized that there was one thing that he must do to finally let go—he decided to return to where it all ended on the third year of his supposed-to-be death anniversary.
Oh, love, I couldn't quit
And I'm down on my knees again
It wasn't just some "third year" of commemoration for him since he woke up in this lifetime he was living right now. He had also turned twenty-four once more that respective year; and heading to Tirad Pass on that second day of December at the same age that he did a lifetime ago... it was like he was testing fate all over again.
To be at Tirad with a tour guide, with a bunch of tourists who've been so interested to do the hike just to catch a glimpse of what could be seen from high above during that fateful battle, it was a whole lot different. He wondered how they managed to really hike the mountain itself, and be truly undefeatable only if it weren't for the Americans rock climbing themselves up from the other side. Now that he thought of it, it was almost unthinkable that they could win.
And in the end of it all, to completely say that he undertook this respective trip to Tirad in order to overcome this lingering trauma, he decided to deal this trip alone with the excuse that he was going to be meeting some classmates from university for a trip to the north and a hike to the mountains. However, the presence of the bronze statue at the shrine's site proved that the trip wasn't just any other.
He frowned as he scrunitized the statue. And he couldn't stop but to point out all that was wrong about it to an almost point of mockery. First of all, there wasn't even a horse—there were horses at the start of their retreat from Pangasinan, but all of those horses ended up over the fire and to their stomachs even before they reached Tirad. Second, for such a position of the horse with its both front hooves up in the air, there should be a visible strength on the thighs to remain on the horse's back than the tight grip that was visible on the statue's reins. Third, there was not even a hint of resemblance at all between him and the statue—he was actually taller, slightly skinnier and leaner, and that face... the statue didn't even give his face any justice at all.
Thank you for the happiest year of my life, oh
Thank you for the happiest year of my life, ooh
He sighed heavily as he kept his arms crossed, wondering if he should finally inform all others that he was the man. Not presently, but at least a lifetime ago.
"Ah!" someone exclaimed—and not just someone for him to take notice of it. After all, he would usually not mind anyone at all, but this respective voice... a part of him seemed to be informed that he needed to have some reaction out of it.
And he did, and that all led him to stop for a second. Or rather, it isn't him who seemed to freeze on the spot; it seemed like time itself was the one that halted. For in just a few moment, everything clicked back to place, the world around him turned silent and be in monochrome, all except for that young woman who've been drawing closer to where he was standing as if she was chasing for something. Following the trail, he recognized what it was that stopped rolling upon hitting his dirtied sneakers after the earlier trek.
It was a familiar ring that he knew had always belonged to him once upon a time and bore great meaning for him to give it to a certain Pendejo. And for this woman only to be bathed in color before all others drifted back from black and white, there was no other reason for him to doubt it all.
He crouched low and took the ring in between his fingers before looking on it closely as he couldn't stop himself from laughing. With how fate seemed to have them play on the palm of its hands, and with how the heavens truly had given them this chance and moment. The wonderful thing about it all; they found one another at the very moment that neither from them were surely searching for each other. It all appeared like they've been on the right time and on the right place, and this was it.
This was that moment that had prepared them both for.
"Sabi nila, kamukha ko raw. Pero, mukha namang hindi," he remarked before his smile widened much more when he turned to her. This time, she seemed to be the one who've been frozen on the spot and was caught by the moment; and so he crossed the distance between them. He knew at once that it was her for him to take her hand and slip the fallen ring onto her finger. "Mas gwapo pa rin ako, ano, Pendejo?"
So wake me up when they build that time machine
I want to go back
Wake me up when you were sleeping next to me
'Cause I really loved you, ooh
He didn't know how to describe that reunion. It had been years for him, and a crossing between death and life, before he found her; and upon hearing her own side of the story, it seemed like it had been the same, too. Things seemed to have happened in a very weird way that the life they've experience from before was the one supplanted in history books, and now they were here, completely aware of that respective life. Hence, instead of being strangers, they've reunited like lovers.
Lovers, he tested that word inside his mind for so many times already than the number of words that this Pendejo had been speaking of.
She raised a hand in front of his face, slowly lowering it to view his brows, his eyes, his nose and his lips; and her blush only deepened every single time that she did so.
"Ilang beses mo pa ba 'yan gagawin, Pendejo?" he asked with a heavy sigh.
She pouted and had been doing such a thing for the nth time that both of them had already lost count ever since their paths finally crossed once more during that separate trip to Tirad Pass. "Para kasing nananaginip pa rin ako hanggang ngayon."
He flicked her on the forehead and her reaction had been imminent, and he laughed that she was very much how he knew of her. He hated the fact that for some time, he couldn't remember how she looked and how she sounded; but now, he was so sure of himself that there had to be a reason for that—for him to no longer take things as this for granted.
Thank you for the happiest year of my life
Thank you for the happiest year of my life, oh
She rubbed her forehead and opened her mouth to say something, definitely some scolding. However, before she could even speak up, he reached out for her hand and twined their fingers together. And instead, she ended up looking back at him, blushing once more.
"Pendejo," he remarked.
"O, bakit na naman?" she countered.
"Mukha bang panaginip pa rin ang lahat? Paniguradong hindi magiging masakit iyan kung nananaginip ka lang."
"Oo na. Hindi na nga. Alam ko na nga na hindi ako nananaginip. Pero..." She looked on to their entwined hands right now.
He raised an eyebrow. "Masama ba?"
She shook her head. "Nope."
He squeezed her hand.
"Ano na naman?" she inquired again.
"Thank you," he said with that same charming smile another time. "Thank you, (Y/N), for the happiest year of my life."
She seemed to be caught off guard by his words that she blinked, and after a minute, she giggled, one that made him fall in love with her all over again. "Lagi mo na lang din 'yan sinasabi sa akin every year. Ever since na nagkita ulit tayo."
"Gusto ko lamang malaman mo na every year with you had been the happiest one for me," he remarked.
Thank you for the happiest year of my life, yeah
Thank you for the happiest year of my life
This time, she was the one to offer his hand a squeeze. "If that's the case, thank you, my love," she countered as the two bands around their fingers skim one another, "Thank you for making me the happiest woman in the world, Goyo."
Thank you for the happiest year of my life