Scarlett's POV
Alex and I were sitting on a couch at the spa hotel, watching Squid game on his laptop.
"I still want to know why he'd vote to continue the game." I said in annoyance.
"Yeah, well I'm not telling you, so you'll just have to wait and see." Alex smirked.
Courtney walked in and dramatically collapsed on the couch face first.
"What's wrong?" Alex asked her.
"Scott dumped me." she mumbled, her voice muffled from the couch.
Wow, too bad I don't care.
"Why?" Alex asked her.
Now why would he say that?
"Ok, so basically, he thought that I had kissed Cameron!" Courtney exclaimed.
"And did you?" I asked.
"No! Well, technically yes, but it was an accident!" Courtney exclaimed.
"Yeah, sure-" Alex said.
"And he started the kiss!" Courtney exclaimed.
"Of course but-"
"And why would I even cheat on Scott in the first place!? i mean sure, he eats dirt and is kinda gross sometimes but-"
"Shut the heck up!" I yelled at her. "Ok, maybe just talk to him. And anyway, kissed by two guys in one day? Nice work!" I said.
Confessional
Courtney: She's right! yay me!
Scarlett: I was being sarcastic.
End
"Thanks guys. Do me a favor? Don't tell Gwen about it. I haven't exactly been easy on her about the whole 'kissing' thing." Courtney asked.
"Your secret's safe with us!" Alex promised.
"Thanks." Courtney thanked, before leaving.
"Must she be so dramatic?" I sighed.
"Attention maggots! Last one to the beach drops and gives me fifty!" Chris said over the loudspeaker.
"Let's go." I said, standing. Alex shut his laptop and stood up.
We started leaving.
I tripped over... Scott. He was lying on the floor outside the spa hotel eating a clump of dirt.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him.
"I'm sad. And when I'm sad, I eat dirt." Scott said, before taking another bite from the dirt.
"You'll never cheat on me, will you?" he said to it.
"Oh that's it." Alex sighed "Listen up Shark Bite, Cameron kissed Courtney, and now he's gone, so you're back together, end of story! Now go catch up to Courtney before she hooks up with Gwen and all of my dreams come true!"
Scott got up and ran.
"Nice work." I said to Alex. "C'mon, let's move. I'm not doing push ups today." I said, grabbing his hand and running, dragging him behind me.
We got to the beach where nearly everyone was. Chris was wearing his stupid army general helmet again.
Alejandro arrived.
"Alejandro! You know the drill! Last one here equals push ups there." Chris said, pointing to the ground.
"Of course I'm going to be the last one here, I was exiled on Boney Island." Alejandro said in annoyance.
"You mean, I WAS EXILED ON BONEY ISLAND, SIR!!!" Chris yelled through a megaphone.
If he doesn't shut the fuck up I swear.
Confessional
Alejandro: Chris is lucky I have a bigger problem to deal with. Mal! Good thing I have a DVD full of incriminating footage hidden in the hotel. When the time is right, bam! I'll expose that phony or my name is Alejandro Burrosmuertos.
Scarlett from outside: *Bursts out laughing* That's your last name!?
Alejandro: It's a very respected name where I come from. Very respected!
End
Alejandro did his pointless physical activity before standing.
"And fifty! Didn't break a sweat!" he smirked.
"Listen to that, it's the sound of zero fucks being given." I said, saying what everyone was thinking.
Chris began talking.
"listen up worms, Chef's bootcamp challenge in season one was tough, but this is season five, and things are about to get a whole lot more hurt-y, with the Chris McLean Obsta-kill course. Patent pending." Chris said.
"Wow, sounds stupid and pointless. No wonder Chris slapped his name on it." Alex whispered to me, making me laugh softly.
"To win this full on race challenge and avoid getting flushed, first you have to pass the fun tires! Get through them and you're on to the rope slope. Some ropes are more reliable then others, so choose wisely. But, not to wisely. That'll spoil the fun for me! Next, the snapping bars!"
"Why are they called that?" Zoe asked.
"Ten bucks says the bars will snap off. Any takers?" Alex asked.
"I'm in." I agreed.
"Betting against your boyfriend?" Courtney sneered.
"Making a bet with someone you love isn't gambling. It's an investment." I smirked.
Confessional
Alex: Wait, love? *Blushes*
End
"Then it's a pleasant run through the duck and cover." Chris said.
"And I presume you calling it 'pleasant' is meant ironically?" I sighed.
"You'll see when you get there." Chris smirked.
Scott scoffed.
"Piece of cake." he shrugged.
You fucking idiot.
"ohhhhhhh, in that case..." Chris said.
"NO!!!" Scott said, facepalming. I slapped him upside the head.
"Everyone has to wear a heavy pack the whole challenge!" Chris said, tossing us backpacks.
"No bombs this time?" I asked sarcastically.
"Nope. I wanted to add them, but the lawyers got all touchy about it." Chris scoffed.
Finally those idiots make the game safer.
"Abandon your pack and you'll face a brutal penalty. Seriously." Chris said.
"So, are we going to try and stick together?" I asked Gwen and Alex.
"Definitely!" Gwen confirmed.
Zoe walked over to us.
"Guys, I need to tell you something." she said.
"Sure, what's up?" Alex asked.
"Ok, so, Mike told me that he saw Alejandro refuse to help Cameron right before he fell down that big hole in the mine!" she exclaimed.
"He let him fall!? Wow! That's harsh even by Alejandro's standards." Gwen said in surprise.
"I know! mike and I are voting him off as payback." Zoe said.
"Count us in." I smirked.
"perfect! Now we just need to get through this challenge! At least it's not underground, right?" Alex said, nudging Gwen. We all laughed.
Confessional
Courtney: Scarlett better not be trying to convince Zoe and Gwen to vote me off! Or telling them I kissed Scott and Cameron! Or both! Ugh! Why didn't I take that lip reading course!?
A/n, babes, chill.
End
Alex and I walked away from Gwen and Zoe to talk strategy.
"Burros Muertos no hablan!" Alejandro exclaimed.
"Dead donkeys don't talk?" Mike questioned.
I laughed again.
"Alejandro Dead Donkeys!" I laughed.
Confessional
Scarlett: *Bursts out laughing again.* That will never stop being funny!
End
"On your marks, get set, go!" Chris yelled through his megaphone.
We started running over the tires.
"This is easy!" Scott said confidently.
You would think he knows by now to never say that.
A wooden plank popped up from a tire. Courtney ran into it.
"Ooooh, that's gotta hurt." Alex winced.
"Huh?" Scott said, turning around. He stepped in a tire and sank into it. And... well, I'll let him explain it.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY FOOT IS TOUCHING MY FACE!!!!!!!!" he yelled.
Yeah. He explained it well.
"You dung beetles didn't think Colonel McLean would give you a straight forward challenge, did you?" Chris asked over the loudspeaker.
"Sorry, guess we switched IQs with you for a second!" I yelled in frustration.
Alejandro ran over to Gwen, Alex and I.
"Gwen, Scarlett, Alex, I need to talk to you." he said.
"Talk less, smile more." Alex said, dodging a plank popping up from a tire.
"Well for now, a warning, you cannot trust-" Alejandro said, before Mike threw a tire at him.
"Thank you." I thanked.
We got to the end of the tires and ran to the ropes.
Zoe was still on a white rope. Gwen started climbing a brown one, one was just a large electric wire, so I wasn't touching that.
I started climbing up the white rope after Zoe. Alex used the red rope.
"Are you allergic to dogs?" Zoe asked Gwen.
"Weird question. No." Gwen responded, sounding slightly confused.
"It's just that your rope is..." Zoe said.
"Huh?" Gwen said, sniffing the brown rope she was climbing "Ew!"
"That's just wrong." I said in disgust.
"I know right? So gross!" Zoe laughed. She has a very infectious laugh, so Gwen and I laughed along with her.
Courtney ran over with Scott.
"You better not be telling them about me kissing Scott and Cameron!" she yelled at me.
Oh my fucking god.
Gwen gasped.
"YOU KISSED CAMERON!?" she exclaimed.
Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh.
Confessional
Scarlett: I knew that everyone would find out soon enough, but I never thought Courtney herself would be the one to reveal it. I honestly just thought Scott would blurt it out at a random time.
End
"Not only that, she kissed him when we were going out!" Scott added.
Courtney glared at him in a 'You're not helping you failed abortion' kind of way.
"But we're back together, and very happy!" Scott added quickly, terrified that that Courtney might use her signature move on him.
"if we survive this, you and I are going to have a little chat Courtney!" Gwen said angrily.
I got to the top of the rope slope.
"Come on Alex!" I said.
"I'm almost there-" Alex said, before the rope he was climbing snapped.
I grabbed his hand to stop him from falling.
"You know, if you wanted me to hold your hand you could have asked." I smirked, pulling him up. He was blushing madly.
Confessional
Scarlett: Alex is like a puppy. Slightly confused most of time, adorable all of the time.
End
We got down from the rope slope and ran to the snapping bars. They were monkey bars set up over a pond.
There were snapping turtles in the water. Zoe and Gwen were already on, and struggling. Mike was also there, but struggling significantly less.
"Oooh, not called the snapping bars because the bars snap off. Pay up." I said to Alex, who gave me ten dollars.
"Shall we?" I asked, gesturing to the Snapping Bars.
"We shall." he responded.
We started swinging across. I was... not as fast as him.
He managed to turn himself around to face me.
"Come on Scar!" he encouraged.
"Sorry, I wasn't a monkey bars girl in school." I said, struggling.
"Come on, it's easy." he said, swinging himself along backwards.
Confessional
Scarlett and Alex in the same one.
Scarlett: How!?
Alex: Uneven bars. Completely useless, and yet so useful.
End
Alejandro arrived and started hand walking un top of the bars.
When he got to Mike, he dropped through the bars and latched onto him.
Ummmmmmm, did I miss something? Follow up question, how is Heather reacting to whatever it is I might have missed?
"Let go of me!" Mike grunted.
"Not without a fight!" Alejandro said determinedly.
Mike inhaled.
"Sventala svetlimpic champion, with zee hanging bars!" he said as his Svetlana personality. He started swinging back and fourth, banging Alejandro into the bars.
Confessional
Scarlett: Ooh! Mike just shot way up on my 'you're tolerable' scale!
Alex: Ok, Alejandro is a bitch, but I kinda feel sorry for him. Getting smashed into hard surfaces hurts like hell. *Rubs his head as he remembers the shit Eric has put him throughout his life.*
End
Alex jumped off the end.
"Come on, you're almost done!" he encouraged.
I got to the end and jumped off.
"Great job! We've only got one more obstacle and we're done!" he said, taking my hand and starting to run.
We got to the duck and cover. Chef was shooting leeches.
"Scar! Alex!" Gwen called from behind a rock, waving her arm.
We shrugged and ran over. Courtney was sitting behind it as well.
"So you admit to kissing Cameron while you were with Scott?" Gwen asked her.
"No, he kissed me!" Courtney exclaimed.
"Why would he do that?" Gwen asked.
"Maybe because he thinks I'm pretty?" Courtney said, glaring at Gwen.
Tell me this bitch isn't trying to make Gwen feel guilty again.
"S-sure, yeah, Of course, it just... kinda came out of nowhere." Gwen said.
Scott ran over.
"Courtney, I need to talk to you. Did you kiss Alejandro?" he asked.
"Ok. I'm out of here." Gwen said, running off.
"Yes, but it was years ago! You and I weren't going out, so it's okay!" Courtney said.
Heather's sharpening her knives and loading her guns right now.
Mike ran over.
"Hey, so I was thinking about voting off Alejandro next-"
"Yes." I interrupted, speaking for all of us.
"Great!" Mike smiled.
We started running again, dodging the leeches being shot at us.
We kept running and got to a Zipline above a ravine where Gwen was taking ziplining gear out of her pack.
"You didn't say we were gonna need our packs!" Scott yelled at Chris who was waiting on the other side of the ravine.
"You ditched your pack!?" Courtney yelled at him angrily.
"Told you there was gonna be a penalty bro!" Chris called.
Confessional
Scott: Ok, so I had to hang from a rope by my hands. No big thing. Back on the farm my cousins and I would usually compete for who would stay on the clothes line the longest over a nest of fire ants. And I mostly won! *Sighs happily* Good times.
End
Wait, so how were we supposed to be crossing the ravine before Chris made us wear the packs? Ugh. Why can't life make sense?
Alex, Gwen, Courtney and I clipped our equipment to the zipline and started ziplining down, with Scott following hand over hand.
"The race for last place begins as the race for first is about to end." Chris said "Alejandro looks unbeatable, but wait!"
I looked over at Alejandro who was ahead of me.
Mike jumped off his line onto Alejandro. Alejandro's line snapped, and they both fell into the water at the bottom of the ravine.
Zoe crossed the finish.
"And Mike throws himself under the bus so Zoe wins immunity!" Chris called.
"Way to go Zoe!" Mike cheered.
Alex and i crossed the finish with Courtney and Gwen behind us. They landed on their faces.
Chris chuckled.
"Bonus ouchies! You can count your bruises while I'm counting the elimination votes for tonight. Zoe's safe from the flush of shame, so who's going home I wonder?" he said.
Alejandro.
~~~
We were at the elimination ceremony.
"Congratulations Campers! This was the fastest voting process in total drama history!" Chris congratulated "The votes are unanimous, except for one particularly artistic entry."
He held up a picture of Mike with devil horns.
Scott laughed.
"I wish I thought of doing something like that." he chuckled.
" But, everyone else wants Alejandro to surf the porcelain wave machine!" Chris said.
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!
"Aw man..." Alejandro sighed.
"Gee. What a shame. Not really." Chris shrugged "First, since Zoe won the challenge, she and a camper of her choice get to enjoy the spa hotel along with Gwen and Yours truly."
"Nuh uh! no way!" Gwen said.
"You say what now?" Chris said, offended.
"I can't take another night stuck in that hotel with you!" Gwen said.
"Fine. Boney island it is." Chris shrugged.
Gwen gasped.
"So Zoe, who ya bringing?" Chris asked her.
"Mike. He's the only reason I won." she smiled.
"Aw, really? You're the best!" Mike said, hugging her.
Chris and Alejandro went down to the dock to flush Alejandro.
An idea struck me.
"Be right back." I said to Alex, before running down to the dock.
"Wait!" I yelled.
"Ugh. Don't tell me you two are gonna make up." Chris scoffed.
"What? no. Ew. I'm flushing him." I said, grabbing the remote from Chris and pushing him off the dock.
"DROWN MOTHER FUCKER, DROWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" I yelled, banging my fist on the button.
He got flushed away.
FINA-FRICKIN-LY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!