Trembling and fidgeting. These were both things Cassie was doing while trying to remember to put one foot in front of the other.
Kohaku could almost feel her as they walked and when he looked over, he saw Cassie walking with her hands near her chest. She rubbed her hands together and looked anywhere she could that wasn’t directly in front of her. When they started to hear the noise of the party, Cassie immediately started to breathe a bit louder and her hand rubbing went to her arms.
“Maybe I should just go to my dorm. This doesn’t seem right for me.” Cassie was stepping back as she said that, but Kohaku was able to grab her arm before she got to far away.
“You said you’d at least go here.” He pleaded.
“Yeah, but that was before I remembered there would actually be people here!” Cassie shook her head and covered her mouth and nose with her hands. Her voice was muffled behind her palms as she said, “I don’t think I can go.”
Kohaku looked at her and held her shoulders. He felt her trembling and could almost feel her heartbeat.
“Oh man, you’re really scared.” He sighed. “Would it help if we stayed here for a bit?”
Though he could only see her eyes, she slowly nodded. Her hands remained over her face and she was taking deep breaths through her hands, similar to breathing in a paper bag.
Kohaku helped her to sit down and sat beside her. He said nothing for a bit, but realized that probably wasn’t helping.
“Um, so were there any emails?” She nodded, but said nothing. “What’d they say?”
“Just the usual,” she said abruptly.
“What’s the usual?” Kohaku tried to carry the conversation in the hopes he could distract her.
“Buyers… someone even said they wanted to stop by sometime to check out something we had.” Cassie’s hands slowly went down. “Someone’s grandson is interested in finding some history about his family.”
“That’s amazing! You guys could really help someone out.”
“I guess…” She paused. “That just means more work for me though. I gotta come in tomorrow and see if we even have the book he told me about.”
“I wouldn’t mind keeping you company. That place was pretty quiet and it’d be a good place to study.”
Cassie’s breathing calmed and her trembling reduced. She was still shaking, but not as badly as she once was.
“Yeah, that sounds fun. I wouldn’t mind that.”
Kohaku got to his feet. “I’ll be there then… so, do you think you’re doing better now?”
She got up and shook her head. “No, but I don’t think I’ll be freaking out anymore. Just a little nervous.”
“Okay, I’ll be with you, so tell me if you feel scared again.”
Slowly, they started walking together again. Kohaku made sure to check up on her every so often as they approached the party that seemed lively despite it being a Monday night. Kohaku looked around and hoped he could find his friend, but he also made sure not to leave Cassie either.
“Who are you looking for?” She asked.
Kohaku looked to Cassie, hearing her voice being the softest it’s been in all their conversations. Even her demeanor was drastically different from what she showed him so far.
“Oh, just my friend who invited me.” Cassie gave a soft nod and occupied herself with her long nails. Kohaku returned to searching, and there he saw someone waving to him. “There he is… come on.”
Without a word, Cassie followed behind him going through the crowd. Luckily, the party had been outside, so it wasn’t too crowded despite the number of people actually there.
Cassie was able to keep up, but her attention had been mainly on her nails in order to maintain her composure.
“Ko, good to see you man!” Kohaku smiled a bit. “I didn’t think you would have come considering you always turn me down.”
Kohaku let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, sorry about that, Eddy. I guess tonight was just lucky for me so I figured why not.”
“About time too. I actually needed a twenty so I could get some drinks.”
Kohaku stared motionless for a second. While he figured this was why he was even invited, a part of him hoped things would have been different. Reactively, he reached in his pocket, but he was stopped when he heard Cassie’s voice.
“Haku…” He faced her. “Didn’t you say we were gonna go out after this?”
“Wha-”
“Yeah, you promised to get me that Island Fairy shake. It’s limited time only and I’ll be so mad if I don’t get to try it.” Cassie’s eyes never left Kohaku and he could tell she was nervous despite what she was saying.
Her eyes were shaking and her fists were clenched tightly at her sides. He was almost at a loss of words at her actions, but he eventually was taken from his daze when Eddy spoke up.
“No worries then. If you guys are hanging out after this, I don’t wanna get in the way. I can always ask someone else to help me out.”
Kohaku nodded. “Alright… sorry about that.”
“I said it was no problem, bro. Let’s hang out later though, alright?”
While Kohaku knew that wouldn’t happen, he still gave his regards as Eddy left the pair to themselves.
Kohaku was quick to turn tail and leave, Cassie was close behind him as they went away from everyone else. Once they were alone, Kohaku rested against a wall and let out a loud sigh.
“I should’ve known.” He sighed. “Man, I can’t believe that guy.”
“Is he really your friend?” Cassie asked.
“…Not really. I met him on a college tour, he told me I looked like I was smart.” Kohaku sighed. “He pretty much only texts me when he needs something.”
“Jeeze, well, at least he’s not hiding it or anything.” Cassie joined him resting against the wall.
They stood in a stiff silence and this allowed Kohaku to settle in the disappointment he felt earlier. It all fell on him now and it only seemed to hurt more as he thought about what could have happened if he just rejected him like always.
“Kohaku?” He looked at Cassie. “It’s okay. That guy obviously doesn’t value you as a friend, so don’t let it get to you…”
Kohaku said nothing to this. Cassie’s words hung in the air for a while and he very nearly forgot the last few minutes entirely. Cassie looked back in front of them, the empty yard of the school flashed softly with the headlights of the passing cars entering and exiting the parking lot.
“So is it safe to assume you only went here because you thought you two were actually friends?” Cassie asked.
Kohaku frowned a bit at her words, but- “Yeah. I lost a lot of my friends from high school and it doesn’t seem to be changing anytime soon.”
Cassie then pushed herself off the wall and stood in front of him. The lights from just outside the school illuminated her figure.
“Well, it is. I think we should be friends.” She paused. “For one thing, we get along really well, and—at least for me—I feel really comfortable when I’m around you. I mean, I’d never declare anything, let alone to be friends with someone. I always felt like I was bothering people by asking them to be my friend, but with you… I just don’t mind.” She got a bit closer to him. “So, what do you say?”
Kohaku wasn’t able to process all the different sides of herself that he was being introduced to. His initial assumption of her was blown out of the water when he caught her talking to herself, the confident side he assumed she had was torn down by her nervous habits and now this was something else he was learning. He didn’t know if this was something he could get used to, but it wasn’t something he wanted to run away from either.
After a second, he stood up from the wall and happily nodded to her. “Yeah… I think we’d be good friends too!”
A big smile made its way to her face, but then Cassie hunched over and took a deep breath. It was almost as if she finally let herself breathe.
“You couldn’t have taken any longer to answer me? I was about to take back what I said as a joke and that would have been way more awkward.”
Kohaku chuckled. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to say something like that.”
“You and me both.” Slowly, she stood back up and looked at him.
“Well, since tonight didn’t go as expected, should we just head back to our dorms?”
Her head shook. “I wasn’t kidding about that drink. I was gonna try and get one today after work, but instead I’m at some boring ass party.”
Kohaku smiled. “You’re a sweet tooth?”
“Yep and a big eater too, so don’t be surprised if I get some food also.”
“Then I don’t mind paying for that. I do still owe you.”
Cassie looked away from him and shrugged. “Just don’t hold that over me then.”
“Trust me, I won’t.”
The pair reached the sidewalk where the streetlights were further from each other. The darkness of the dimly lit street made it easy for them to both hide their smiles, feeling joy in simply walking beside each other.
…
“Bruh, look at it!” Cassie took in the decorative beverage before her.
The limited time smoothie sat between them and Cassie was eagerly waiting to try it. The light blue, orange and pink colors swirled around one another with the light color of white barely mixing between all three. A multi-colored edible straw poked out from the froth that spilled off the sides. Cassie was in awe of the drink and Kohaku was pleasantly watching her.
“That might taste terrible,” he said.
She frowned a bit. “Don’t remind me.” Cassie then took a sip. The second it ran up her straw, Kohaku saw her eyes light up. “It’s so sweet! Why does this have to be limited time only?” She whined while returning to admiring the order Kohaku got for her.
“I think that’s why. People might start getting sick getting this thing daily.”
“Too bad human bodies can’t consume this every day.” She sighed, but reached in her pocket for her phone.
Turing it sideways, he could tell she was trying to take a photo, so Kohaku leaned out of frame.
She lowered her phone. “I’m trying to get a picture of you too.”
“Y-you are?"
“Yeah. Is that okay?”
“Uh, sure. I don’t mind.”
Cassie smiled and brought her phone back up before taking a few pictures of both Kohaku and her drink. She finished and set the phone down.
“I actually really like taking pictures. Couldn’t really do that growing up though.” Cassie aimlessly stirred her drink. “But, if I’m gonna start being more of myself, this is one of the first steps.”
“Have you thought of anything else?”
“Yeah, I jotted a little bit down already.” She spoke while gingerly sipping. “Taking more pictures, dressing myself up more, going on outdoor trips, going to actually see a movie, and going to a theme store.”
“You really mean to tell me you’ve never done any of that stuff? That just sounds like normal things.”
“Yeah, and what’s my problem again?”
“Right… not being treated normally.”
“Exactly." She sighed. "I don’t know, it was always something with me; like if I wanted to see a movie, my parents could never just let me go. They never knew what the movie was—even when I told them—so I wouldn’t get to see it."
"Even as a kid?"
"Even as a kid." She repeated. "Even little stuff like going on a picnic or a hike. My parents were always busy with work and my brothers were… well, guys. They weren’t exactly keen on having a picnic.” She chuckled a bit. “And dressing myself up more just means not wearing black and gray all the time. I try not to stand out and dresses were, and are, a big no.”
“Now how’s that possible?”
“Well, let me ask you. What’s something you don’t normally wear?”
Kohaku looked up in thought. “Uh… I guess, sleeveless shirts?”
“Okay, so if you wore one and your family and friends all made a big deal about it every time you wore it, saying things like ‘look at your arms’ or ‘it’s good to see you wearing your arms out’, would you want to wear that anymore?”
“Everytime I wore it?” Cassie nodded. Kohaku sighed. “No, that actually sounds really annoying.”
“Exactly. Anytime I wore a dress or skirt, everyone would make it some big deal and comment on it all day. Even just like a black skirt, nothing flashy or anything.”
“I can see what you’re saying then. Everything you say just sounds so normal, but somehow it’s like nothing I’ve heard before.”
“Story of my life.” As she was talking, she nearly finished the drink. “But that’s why I’m hoping things will be a lot easier with someone who actually seems to treat me like anyone else.” She giggled softly.
Kohaku smiled. “I’m happy to help then. Some of that stuff actually sounds fun, like going on a hike. Maybe one day we’ll get to go on one!”
Cassie gave him a big smile. “Yeah!”
A screech filled the room and a voice interrupted them. “We’ll be closing in another hour, please exit before then and we thank you for dining with us and hope to serve you again.” The worker behind the counter said over the speaker phone.
“Man, it’s late huh?” Cassie checked the time on her phone. “Wanna go home and watch Toonami in the lobby?”
“Is there something you wanna see?”
“Not really. I just sometimes watch whatever's on.”
Kohaku chuckled. “Next thing I know you’ll be hooked on some show.”
“That’s not gonna happen, but think what you want.”
They both started to head out of the restaurant alongside a few other late night customers, ending what they could both consider a night to remember.