" Excuse me?" Heeseung's voice goes dark and rough immediately.
The relaxed and playful Heeseung quickly disappears and is replaced by someone who is shocked but trying to hide it with anger and cold body language. He instantly takes multiple steps away from me and is giving clear indications that he wants to dismiss this topic.
I expected this to happen when I asked my question. Asking a supposed vampire if they are a vampire is definitely not the most welcoming conversation to have, but it needs to be done. I'm well aware of the risks.
Neither his behaviour or the change in energy around us surprises me, I prepared myself for this throughout my talk with him before. My only focus is making sure that I get my answers regardless of how either of us feel right now.
" You heard what I said." I say my words strongly. Wavering in my speech could cost me, everything has to be delivered with conviction or I won't get what I want.
The truth.
This doesn't seem to go well with Heeseung, who was previously choosing to stay silent. He starts to show how much the question is affecting him as busts into a frenzy of laughing continuously.
" This is ridiculous! You hit your head in the fight?" He doesn't stop laughing even after his speech.
I didn't think he would pull the brain damage card this early on in this discussion. I'm more disappointed than anything else. Thinking that would be the best route to stop me from continuing this talk is very poor from him. It is going to take more than that to stop me.
And I hate being made to look like I'm stupid.
" Heeseung. Don't do that." I keep my words short and cold in tone. I'm serious and I need him to realise that this is a serious conversation we are having. And will be having.
This isn't the fantasy crap that you read about in books. This is real life. This is my life. This is his life. Our life. I won't allow him to see me as someone trying to jest or playing as an unserious person. He'll only use that as a way to further dismiss this conversation.
" Do what Jiyeon? You're being delusional." He laughs so loud I can hear it echo throughout the maze. Louder than all of the previous laughter before from him.
So he actually takes me as a joke? How fucking rude. Throwing out the word delusional is like putting more salt into the wound. I know that I'm right, I just need him to say it. Denying the truth isn't going to benefit Heeseung at all.
" So when you tell people what to do and they do it without question, that's delusional?" I place my hand on my hips and tilt my head.
I decided to start off slow, dropping hints of what I've seen him do until the amount of evidence that I have is too much to be denied. The evidence is so detailed, specific that there's no way I could even make it up.
" Yes." I roll my eyes to his blunt response.
I expected Heeseung to answer like that. But it's gotten the ball rolling, without knowing it he's opened up the conversation about him being a vampire. That answer just gave me the green light to keep interrogating towards getting my answer.
Fool.
" Even when your eyes glow red whenever you do it? When I'm invited to a party and everyone is dancing too close for comfort around my neck?" I stop myself from smiling a little, I'm getting him where I want him, I need the tension in the air to stay as heavy as possible. There's no way that after that he can deny my allegations.
" Delusional." Emotionless as he says the word again. It was like everything I had said meant nothing.
I know for a fact that I'm not being delusional. I have gone through too many instances with these guys, and gathered so much of my own tangible proof for him to try and manipulate me into thinking otherwise. I won't stand for the blatant disrespect and lies. I won't let someone else make me doubt myself, I'm starting to get a little annoyed.
" Don't try to gaslight me Heeseung. I know." It takes everything inside me not to get angry while talking to him.
If I explode too much, or at the wrong time. I risk getting down to the bottom of this vampire business. And who knows what he or the guys will do to me moving forward. It's a risk I can't afford to take.
" You don't know anything!" He raises his voice a little as he throws his hands in the air. If this is making act this way, there has to be some sort of truth in what I'm saying. People can't handle the truth, " It's all in your head. Like I said, delusional." Heeseung regains his composure as he looks at me like I'm crazy.
I'll just have to hit him with more evidence.
"What about when I saw FANGS growing out of your mouth when you fought K? Yes I saw that. Or maybe when I open some weird looking book in the library that shows me pictures of you and the rest of the guys dating back centuries ago, with the exact same names that you have, and you all still look the fucking same as you do now! That's delusional too?!" Suddenly I'm in Heeseung's face after screaming at him, and everything goes quiet. Too quiet for comfort.
That wasn't a supposed to happen. I wanted to stay calm, but the more I spoke the more aggravated I got about how many times they had been suspicious and didn't call them out about it much sooner. I may be angry at him, but in that moment I was more mad at myself.
Heeseung doesn't move for a few more moments, before stepping back once again. He looks at me me for only a brief moment, the tension in the area so thick that I can hardly breathe.
" We shouldn't talk about this now." His voice becomes distant and cold as he turns his head away from me.
I've got him.
He knows that I'm right, and he can't handle the fact that I know. Despite all of that, I never would've expected him to be the type of person to deflect or dismiss a situation. I thought he could own up when he's caught out and take the consequences. I guess that was just another thing I thought wrong about him.
Why can't he understand that this is the best time to address it? There was probably never going to be another time where I would be able to come to him and tell him that I know. If I didn't do this on my own terms, he would've figured out himself and create potentially even more problems for me. Problems that I don't want. Who knows what he or any of the guys would've done if I knew what they were and then kept it from them, just for them to figure it out themselves. I may not have lived to see another day, and who is to say they wouldn't have seen me as a big threat trying to secretly get rid of them. If I was in their position I would.
Heeseung is clearly not happy and trying to bury this conversation, but I'm not allowing that to happen. Today is the day that we stop the childish behaviour and actually talk properly. No more running away from the issues at hand.
"If not now then when? If we don't address it now what will happen. Are you gonna brainwash me with your powers or whatever? Nothing good will come out of it. I'll just figure it all at again and then we'll be back at this point again. You've already confirmed it, there's no point trying to avoid it now Heeseung." I keep myself calm and composed as I speak to Heeseung as he still refuses to look at me.
This is unbelievable. Even after being confronted he still tries his best to ignore it. We are going to talk about it. At the least, I'm going to talk about it and I'm not going to stop until I get the answer I want.
I take a few steps closer to him, his back now turned to me, until I'm directly behind him. My breath automatically gets heavier but I try my bed to regulate myself, I can tell he is doing the same.
All I want is to hear the truth from his mouth.
" You are a vampire, all of you are."For me to confront a potential vampire that could kill me in this moment and still be so calm is maddening to me.
I guess I'm just tired of the lies and deceit.
" Jiyeon." he shakes his head slightly, his tone of voice sounding more like a warning than when he spoke before.
The truth is shocking and it hurts, it's just the way life is. Regardless of that, Heeseung can't keep thinking that I'm going to give him leeway just because we've had a few flirtatious interactions in the past. I want the truth.
I decide to walk around Heeseung until I'm directly facing him, this time he doesn't move his head away but still keeps his eyes from meeting mine. I fold my arms slowly as I begin to stare at him, my heart racing a million miles a second.
" Say it." I command in a stern tone.
I'm frankly tired of all of this, I just want us both to accept the truth and then figure out how we move forwards.
But he stays silent.
So I ask him again. Silence. And I ask again. More silence. With each time he doesn't respond, I can feel anger burning in my chests growing bigger and bigger. A little bit of nervousness too.
I keep pressing him and pressing him, feeling myself on the edge from exploding in rage. I ask him again, in a calm manner, one last time. This time he has the nerve to tell me no. And I lose it.
I shove him with everything I have, watching him stumble back before regaining his valence, and I start screaming at him in a frenzy. Telling him how surprised I am at how inconsiderate, disappointing and afraid he really is. I keep going off at him, yelling and begging him to tell me the answer we both know, until he finally snaps too.
" I'M A FUCKING VAMPIRE!" He yells at a pitch and range I've never experienced in my life as he punches one of the benches, smashing it into pieces," Are you happy now?"
I look at Heeseung's face to see those familiar crimson eyes blazing at me, the veins popping out across his temples, the fangs now amongst his teeth.
He really is a vampire.
It feels weird to get the confirmation that I've been waiting on for so long. Part of it feels rewarding to know that I was right, another part nervous about what happens now.
"Very - happy -Heeseung." I try to regain my breath after my outburst. It's shocking how it had to take me doing that, to get him to finally admit the truth that we were both well aware of.
After recognising how calm I am, Heeseung's face quickly reverts back to human. He takes a step towards me to test if I'll take one back out of fear, and I don't move.
" You're not scared?" I look at puzzled expression on his face, and decide to take a step closer to him.
" I'm way past that. As you can see, I knew a long time ago." Everything I'm saying is true, and judging by how he's quickly relaxing it's safe to say that he believes me.
" Don't even think about trying to control me or wiping my memory." That's the moment I finally decided to take a step back. This factor is the only thing that makes me feel an ounce of fear. The fear of forgetting, the fear of someone being in control of my actions.
That scared me more than the premise of being a vampire ever could be.
" Even if I wanted to, it wouldn't work. We both know I've tried." Heeseung's voice is fuelled with frustration as he talks.
He's not wrong. He's always tried to tell me what to do, even the boys. Both with their eyes shining in red as they try to force commands on me. It's worked with everyone else at school, but it has never ever worked on me. I've always wanted to know why, so I ask him.
" How come?" I try to have a warmer look in my face, hoping it may incline Heeseung to tell me the truth.
" I wish I knew." Damn it!
I don't know if I can believe that. He doesn't give anything away about how that makes him feel. But knowing Heeseung , if he's being honest then he's probably deeply frustrated, while I'm severely confused.
" That's why I wanted you around. From the first time we met I knew there was something different about you, that's why worked hard to get to into the party. I wanted to see if it was just me." He finishes without a single stutter, looking me directly in the eye. I'm very good at reading peoples faces, I'm convinced he's genuinely telling me the truth based off how he's interacted with me before.
" So me being there was part of your own plan?" On the outside I stay composed, but in the inside my body is silently trembling in disbelief.
Heeseung has been planning and plotting on me from the first day we met. I don't even know what to say anymore. I've been playing his game from the very beginning, like an idiot. It kind of hurts that he didn't trust me from the beginning, then again I didn't trust him either.
" Correct." He nods slightly, regrets filling in his eyes as he starts to explain some things.
That party was a test for me. Heeseung couldn't understand why his compulsion wasn't working on me and the rest of the boys, and was wondering if it was because I was secretly a vampire or not. So majority of the people there were vampires, the rest were humans that knew of their nature but were willing to give up their blood in return for safety.
When I was given that glass of red liquid, it was actually blood, they wanted to see if I would show myself as one of them and drink it. But I refused. And then he saw how the vampires were gravitating towards me, and how like I said before that they were very focused around my neck. So that removed all of the suspicious that him and Jungwon had since meeting me.
It all makes sense. Why they weee constantly around me and closely watching what I was doing. They not only wanted to see if I was one of them but if I was potentially a threat.
It's a bit of a shock so I just stand there and take everything in, in silence. Trying to find contentment in my answers, but then Heeseung starts to speak again. I can sense how nervous he is to say whatever it is he has to say, and that worries me.
" Jiyeon, you may not be a vampire but are you sure you're... human?" He speaks slowly, like he's trying to find the best way to say what he says.
There's no way he's being serious. There's no reason for me to believe otherwise.
"What are you talking about?" I raise an eyebrow at him, my voice wavering a little.
Suddenly I'm confused. That question was entirely unexpected, it took me off guard. I don't possess any powers; I don't have fangs, I don't have super strength, I don't have magic. Nothing about me shows that I wouldn't be a human.
"During the fight. I watched you, and I saw something." At this point it's like all the confidence has left Heeseung and all the remains is the shell of a man that is full of apprehension.
How bad can what he saw really be?
"Just tell me Heeseung." I sigh and roll my eyes again after he stays silent yet again.
I've not got time for people beating around the bush. I want him to tell me what he saw so we can set records straight. We've got to lay everything out in the open.
" Your eyes... they were different." The hesitancy as he speaks makes my mind race. It makes me a little worried. Is it a lie or genuine confusion on his part?
No, it's got to be a lie. There's nothing wrong with my eyes, I would know. The only thing I'm aware of is my flashbacks, which are usually harmless and probably not even real. Other than that there's nothing wrong with me. My eyes are perfectly fine.
But I still want to know what exactly he means by different.
"My eyes?" I can't hide the surprise in my voice. That was one of the last things I would've expected Heeseung to say. I wouldn't have expected it at all. I look at him in disbelief, and a bit of a 'I don't believe you'' expression quickly grows on my face.
" Yeah. I swear when you were on the floor with Hana, blacking out and hitting her like crazy. They were glowing purple." Heeseung can't look me in my eyes as he says the last part.
Purple. My eyes...glowing purple? I may not have known what was going on completely during the fight, but I think if my eyes were purple everyone would've noticed. Somebody would've said something.
He has to be seeing things, there's no logical reasoning for me eyes to glow any sort of colour during a fight when I'm clearly human. If I wasn't the vampires at the party would've come for me long ago.
Then again, with the supernatural is anything really logical? No, no, no. I'm not feeding into this theory if his. There's no solid proof to backtrack his up, he's just telling me what he thinks he saw. Not what was actually there. Until I hear something concrete I'm not going to believe it.
" It was subtle and for a quick second. I've never seen anyones eyes like that before." Is he trying to imply that I'm some magical entity that he has never come across in his centuries of life?
Nope. There's no way. I'm not having this.
Maybe he's taking this metaphor he's made up in his mind a bit too far and it's now merged with his reality. I have no mystical powers, I am human in every way. No abilities, no transformations, I am just a human.
Even thought that is how my head and heart feels, my gut is telling me to somewhat believe what Heeseung is saying. We're past the point of lying to each other, and he has nothing to gain by manipulating me into believing I'm a supernatural being in some aspect. I don't know what to believe.
What does that mean for me?
" Don't tell the others anything we spoke of today." He suddenly breaks my deep thought with his words. The authority in his tone says it all. He's not giving me a choice, it's an order.
It's only fair that the guys should also know this information. I don't want to keep them in the dark and I'm honestly tired of the lies and the secrets. With all of us working together maybe we could figure out the next move and figure out my eye situation too. There's only strength in numbers, so why would we not tell them? And why does he think he's in a position to tell me what to do with everything that I know now?
" Heeseung d-" He cuts me off before I can even start my sentence properly.
" I mean it. Jungwon may be nice, but he won't take this lightly. I don't want anything happening to you. Not until I figure this out." He placed his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me, but I'm not buying it so I move my shoulder away.
He's not wrong. The only one I can fully trust right now is Heeseung, even more than Niki or any of the other guys. Jungwon especially, along with a few others are very unpredictable. Him finding out could cost me my life. So as much as it pains me to his secrets from the rest of the boys, I have to do it.
I don't even want to trust Heeseung, but I have to after all of this. I would be lying if I was saying that I believe the whole 'I care about you' talk that Heeseung is trying to give me. Frankly I think it's bullshit and that he just doesn't want to come to the guys with the news until he can guarantee it won't blow up in his face.
" Figure what out?" That's the one part of what he said that I don't understand. What is there to figure out?
I'm starting to get a little worried. He's beginning to sound a lot like K. And for both of them to feel this way, is there something that I'm missing? Does the colour of my eyes really mean something? Who am I kidding, of course it does. Nobody, including me, just hasn't figured it out yet.
"You." He looks me square in my eyes which makes me uneasy, so I quickly turn away. There's too much information for me to process, and once again In at the forefront. I don't know how much more of this I can take
Heeseung ushers me to follow him out of the maze after that. The walk was very easy, as expected when you follow someone who has been in here multiple times, but the atmosphere is very uncomfortable. Finally talking things out has been healing, but we both know the conversation is far from over. There will be more wether we like it or not.
The minute we both make our way out of the maze and the forest, and back onto familiar roads, we both walk away from each other. And I refuse to turn back. I keep walking and walking until I'm finally back home.
Shin Young tries to make conversation but I ignore her completely and lock myself in my room. The past few hours have been a lot to handle and I just need my space.
Finding out all this information about them... about me. I don't know how to process all of this. The possibility that I may be a supernatural being is unbelievable, I never thought this could be a possibility. And I still don't know where K stands in this which only frustrates me more, though I do have my suspicions.
It felt good to get some things off my chest in that maze, but it doesn't feel right that I'm not allowed to share this with anyone else. All of those boys deserve to know that I know, that there's stuff going on with we too. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I can't keep a secret. I most definitely can. There's only one major problem with trying to keep secrets as big as this.
Secrets always come out, one way or another. And the aftermath is never good.