Jolene's day of delivery was drawing near.
Gilrack still couldn't believe that she had come back to him, not only kindly and with open arms but still carrying their young. He had been sure he'd destroyed everything in his moment of madness. Her poor body had already been under enough stress without proper fresh meat, and then that dead-eyed one...
He curtailed that thought and focused on the fact that his mate was near, knelt beside him, her belly gently rounded. Her body held his eggs so well. One could barely tell she was pregnant at all, though he partially wished she did show more. A pregnant female was a beautiful thing, not that he needed her to be more beautiful than she already was. She'd already driven him to complete madness once.
Shamelessly, he pressed his face to her stomach, taking advantage of her compassion. He'd already eaten enough to gain back some of his strength, but he couldn't pass off this glorious dream of being cared for by her. He could almost pretend that she returned his love, that she accepted him, and that they were both eagerly awaiting the arrival of their young. He didn't know if she had prepared a nest yet, not knowing her state, so just in case he made sure that his own was ready. He'd even found extra blankets and cushions. Their eggs, however many there were, would be safe and warm.
The smooth firmness of her belly against his cheek filled him with ecstasy. Surely, surely she wouldn't be too upset at such a happy, beautiful surprise. Surely a female so kind, motherly, and loving would be delighted to have been given young.
The only problem was that they'd be his young. She'd call him 'friend.' Maybe that could be satisfactory enough? Having the young of a friend or ally was much more welcoming than a stranger.
He could only hope. Desperately and unreasonably, but he had to. He couldn't face such possible heaven and live without hoping. He'd already visited that hopeless place. He'd already laid himself down to die once before.
It was either hope or die, and so far, Jo didn't seem to want him dead.
"Jo," he rumbled against her beautiful rounded stomach.
"That tickles!" she giggled.
Oh, what a sound. It was like the divine being's version of a purr almost, except tinkling like chime stones.
Her hand ran down his mane, small and soft. Some of her palm rubbed against the base of his horns, making him melt like puddy with pleasure.
"You like that?"
He liked everything she did. He'd take anything she was willing to give. For a minute he let himself imagine their young, freshly hatched and delicate in those soft hands of hers.
Surely...surely...
Then he saw those young, delicate things in the white, cold, and lifeless tunnels of the divine being's and felt his purrs still. At the same time, his mate began to speak in a low tone.
"I've been meaning to tell you this, but...we've all agreed you can't stay here anymore. It's not good for you. You need to go back to your world."
Every part of him stilled, like prey before the predator.
"Do not know controls," he tried.
"I know you're lying."
The tip of his tail curled like a child caught by their parent.
"I...I want to stay with you," he had to struggle to form the words on his tongue. Panic had stuck her long claws into his back and his raw instincts had coiled up, readying to pounce.
"I know," she said softly.
No, she didn't. She didn't know the half of it.
In a desperate attempt to keep his instincts at bay (he couldn't afford to have them take over again), he wrapped his arms about her middle till all he could feel and smell was her and her young.
"Come with?" He said tentively, but with such a strong upsurge of desire that it made him breathless.
"I—I don't think that's possible. Your planet's atmosphere—it's air—it isn't like here. There's this heavy gas called argon that settles in all the valleys and deep places and once we breathe it into our lungs we can't get it out and we suffocate."
Prickles of alarm stiffened him. He'd heard mentions of this 'gas' among them, but he hadn't known it had such an effect on the divine beings.
Even as his heart trembled with both horror and despair, his mind raced, remembering how he had felt suffocated in the pod, how his body had changed, then to the traditional raising of their young. Perhaps it was no coincidence that the nurseries of expecting mothers and their freshly born young were in the highest caves. Perhaps it was no coincidence that the low valleys were said to be poison to newborns.
Then...if she were to come to his planet...would she have to live the life of a perpetual youngling? Never to explore the depths of jewels and the rainbow array of moss colonies?
Then again, he didn't know how his own changed body would take to the depths, enlarged, stiffened, and winged as he'd become. His own mother never took to the small tunnels and had all the beautiful things brought to her.
Jo started to speak, but his mind was racing, picking out everything he knew about the poison air to younglings and the surface. The surface wasn't a bad place. But because the younglings needed the high air, his kind took to mountains, and since the higher you went the colder it got, they naturally became a tunneling people. The earth kept their homes from the terrible cold while allowing the pure air for their young, and the depths brought them treasures, metals, hot springs and more. Only adults and those nearing adulthood ventured the forests for meat, and some never returned from the forests, finding the green and open skies preferable to the tunnels. But they also could never stay if they hoped to have a family.
"You could live," he started, only realizing a moment later he had cut her off.
But kind, benevolent Jo only asked him to clarify.
He went to explain, as best he could, about the care of his kind's young, the high air, the poison air, the forests, and his blood raced hot when he noticed how attentively she listened.
"It's still dangerous..." she said, slowly. "I don't even know if I can eat the food there."
"Your food good for me," he said. "We eat like."
"But I couldn't come back..."
Ah, no argument for that.
"At least, not until December or January when we get more people." She rolled her full bottom lip beneath her teeth, something he hated because he always feared she might pierce through that delicate skin on accident, even with her duller teeth (oh, if she ever put those teeth on him though—no, stop, don't go there).
But then she stopped and gave him a soft smile.
"Maybe."
He perked.
"It would definitely be an opportunity to study," she said. "Just... there are so many variables." Her mind waves suddenly spiked with anxiety, riling his already raw instincts. "But...Josh was killed by your kind. What if they kill me?"
"No!" he all but roared, pulling her into himself till he had every bit of himself wrapped about her in a protective shell and touching her. He went to tell her, to explain, that even if any male weren't completely won over by her beauty and kindness he'd slay any being that should dare touch her, but it came out in clicks, chirps, and whistles.
He forced himself to stop, to breathe. He couldn't let his instincts take over again. He couldn't.
Rather than be upset or frightened by his sudden relapse, his beloved cooed and shushed him, radiating a desire to soothe.
Oh, he was without words. How could anyone be so...
He brushed his mouth up the bare skin of her arm. His fangs lengthed. He caressed her stomach, longing to touch her chest, her thighs, her back, every bit of her.
She shivered.
"Gilrack..."
And there was the discomfort. He'd gone too far. She still didn't know, didn't remember—but he couldn't help himself treating her for what she was: his mate. His love.
"Kurrlongi," he breathed.
"What?"
He hesitated. For him, the moment burned, pained, and filled him with ecstasy at once.
"Love," he said. "Mine. Love." He hesitated again, and said, softer with fear. "Spouse."
"I'm not your spouse," she said. "I haven't agreed to anything—can you let me go? Gilrack, stop."
It was the hardest thing in the world to let her go, but he had to.
Because she didn't know.
Then he felt her flinch. Every part of him stiffened, readying to launch.
"Hurt?" he asked.
"Just a little," she rubbed at her stomach.
All his hard-earned attempts to release her from his touch failed as he curled his tail reflexively around her and his wings came down to shelter her.
Soon. Very soon now.
He closed his eyes to hide his fear.
He should tell her. Now would be the time. But how would he explain? What if she attacked her stomach in an attempt to smash the eggs? What if she smashed them when they came out? What if—
Too late. As always when he thought too long on the future, his mind went blank and his instincts took over. Jolene gave a shout as he dragged her back to his nest and curled back around her, rumbling like the earth full of fire with all the turmoil of his apprehension.
To her credit, Jolene only sighed.
"We've got to get you home, buddy."