• —————— ᯽—————— •
chapter thirty-two: 'she hates me'
{a/n:
olivia's new album 'guts' was on repeat while i was writing this...
enjoy! }
• —————— ᯽—————— •
ALMOST TRIPPING DOWN the steps, Adam hurried down the staircase. "Vera, please, it's not what it looked like!" He called out. "I can explain!"
People were starting to look. He didn't even bother to acknowledge the fact that he was making a scene. He could only focus on the girl that was running from him.
Panic was clawing at his chest.
This couldn't be happening.
Vera was already out of the house and on the front porch when he managed to grab ahold of her wrist. In a quick movement, she spun around and slapped him. Hard.
She'd never hit anyone before. It didn't feel right, but she was too blinded.
"Let go of me!"
Adam rocked back. He let go of her wrist and brought his hand to his cheek, where a mean, red splotch began to form underneath.
It was the only way." He desperately breathed out. "I promise, just please let me explain!"
She didn't want him to hear it. Vera believed that he'd come up with a stupid justification, just like all the other guys she'd been with did.
But, thing was, Adam wasn't just any guy. He was different, and that's what was making this hurt.
"I thought we were getting somewhere! I tho... I thought maybe..." She couldn't finish it as her throat closed up, and she whimpered. After a moment of looking away, she bellowed, "But seriously, her? Out of everyone-"
"Vera, will you stop and listen to me!?" He was beyond frustrated.
Yet, there was guiltless glimmer in his eyes, and that's what made Vera upset -- angry, even.
"No. I don't care what you have to say." She said, staring up at him as defiantly as she could, but her chin was trembling. "I saw everything with my own eyes-"
"You didn't see everything, Vera, you didn't!" Adam fired back. He was on the verge of sobbing himself. "And we were getting somewhere! This whole night I've been thinking about you!"
She shook her head slightly. "No you haven't. If you were, you wouldn't have ignored me when you walked in. You wouldn't have been under Cher and kissing her, and you wouldn't be out here making all these dumbass excuses like you are right now!"
"Oh, that's low." Adam's voice was suddenly eerily low and calm, yet exasperated. "You don't get to have a say in my feelings. I've been going crazy these last couple of weeks because of you, and I know you have too. I can see it!"
He was right.
And even after everything that had went down that evening, all of her feelings for him still remained, and that twisted a pin in her heart. With so much emotion surging up, the brunette began to back away, her eyes flashing.
"But I don't, not anymore." She lied. "In fact, the sight of you makes me sick."
"You don't mean that-"
"Adam, don't!" Vera snapped as tears pelted down her cheeks when he took a step towards her. "If you come any closer, if you touch me or anything, I think I'll scream."
And the look on his face made her want to curl up and die. She watched miserably as he brought his eyes to the floor with a tight jaw. No words were exchanged as he stepped off the porch and walked towards his car; not a thought of looking back.
Vera bit down hard on her bottom lip, almost drawing blood as she watched him start the car.
"I hate you!"
She screamed it without thinking.
The porch light flickered above her as her painful words hung in the air. Her heart was racing as she desperately tried to catch her breath. She wanted to chase after him, to explain that she didn't mean it and that they shouldn't leave it like this.
But, he beat her to it.
"Good."
And he was gone, just like that.
Nothing is right. Everything has changed, and it's scary and painful.
-
VERA SAT ON A curb in the Westbrook parking lot without an idea how she'd gotten there. Everything had been a blur since that horrific moment at the party. She couldn't remember if she went to find Julie, or if she even went back into the house at all.
With tear stained cheeks and stinging eyes, the brunette tried her hardest to recollect the memories as she dug her nails into her arms.
What happened after? What was she doing before?
Did all of that truly happen?
Was she drunk? Maybe that was the reason she felt that all of this was one big nightmare.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's it." She said aloud, absentmindedly nodding her head.
Though, suddenly, the doubt came wandering back into her mind. Vera pushed herself up from the curb and took a few strides ahead of her, then back. She continued to pace and bite her nails as the weight of it became too much.
There was a whimper, then a raw, gut-wrenching scream. She let everything out.
All the pent-up frustration and heartache.
Why did she let him go? Why did she push him away? Why didn't she hear him out?
And even if he had been with Cher that night, she knew it wasn't right to lash out at him like that. She didn't own him. They weren't together.
Yet, she still managed to loose him. One of the only good things looking up for her — gone.
"Vera?"
She turned around. There was a group of three boys standing there with concerned expressions on their faces. It was Hayden and his two friends coming back from the party.
Her eyes flashed and she opened her mouth to speak, to defend herself, but all that came out was a small squeak.
"Uh," Hayden started, casting a glance to his friends, "why don't you guys head back to the room. I'll meet up in a minute."
Vera watched as one of them patted his shoulder while they left, then she let her eyes drop to the pavement.
This was the last thing that she needed.
"It's almost two, V. You know how dangerous it is to be out here right now, especially with all the drunk kids coming back from that party."
She didn't answer, but, she wanted so badly to just leap into his arms — just for some sort of comfort.
Hayden sighed softly. "I know you're still very upset with me, but you're hurting. We promised we'd always be there for each other no matter right, remember?"
A tear rolled off her face as she nodded slowly.
"Here," running his tongue over his bottom lip, the boy reached out and brushed her fingers with his, and intertwined them. He led her back to a spot on the curb and they both sat down.
She still couldn't get herself to face him.
"I won't push you to tell me anything, but I'm here if you need to let anything out." His tone was awfully gentle.
Vera found herself feeling guilty. She was reminded that this was Hayden, the boy who could read her like an open book. He was still his old sweet, and understanding self. The only thing that has slightly changed was the fact she was angry with him.
So, it wasn't long until she exposed her stage of vulnerability by melting into his arms and began crying again.
"It was just something with Adam." She sniffed quietly. She felt him tense up, but nothing slipped past his lips.
No nasty remarks. No personal opinions. No insults regarding the blonde.
Not even a disapproving sigh.
So, she continued and told him everything that had happened that night. She focused more on the fight than anything else, sobbing about how it was all her fault and how mean she had been to him.
Everything started to click in Hayden's mind as she went on. He was there to witness Adam scurrying down the stairs yelling after her. That's why he left the party quickly after -- to find her and make sure she was okay.
By the time she was done, he was angry. "He's an idiot for making you think that this is your fault."
"He didn't make me think it." Her voice was a lot calmer now, but it was still hoarse and scratchy. "It was me who fucked up. I should've let him explain."
"But, he knew you guys were a 'thing' and still choose to follow Cher-"
"Hayden." She looked at him and he stopped talking.
There was a moment before he sighed. "Sorry," he whispered, "I just want what's best for you."
"I know."
The two sat there on the curb, letting silence surround them. Many cars started pulling into the parking lot and they figured the party had died out.
Hayden stood up and turned to her. "Why don't we go back to yours for awhile?"
The brunette's eyebrows knitted together as she got up. "Don't you have some friends waiting on you?" She asked. "I'd hate to spoil your night even more."
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry, you didn't. I'd rather hang out with you than those dimwits."
For the first time in awhile that night, Vera cracked a small grin.
"We'll see how you're feeling in the morning and can talk about what you want to do about him."
They began walking.
"I'm with you on whatever you choose."
It wasn't the truth, but it was the best thing he could think to say at the moment.
She brushed her tears away with a palms. "Thanks Hayden."
-
THAT EARLY MORNING, Vera's voice haunts Adam into the night. He tosses and turns in his bed, that moment replaying every free second.
'I hate you.'
He closed his eyes and heard her say those words again and again. Her voice, traveling across the darkness.
He laid there barely breathing, going over every single word. Two out of three roomates were fast asleep and every part of him was fully awake and alive. It was like a nightmare, and he was afraid to falls asleep because he knew his mind would make him relieve it.
The blonde's eyes wander to the alarm clock beside him on the nightstand. He has to move a plastic water bottle out of the way to read the time.
3:18am. Good grief.
Adam let's out a quiet groan and picks up his pillow from behind him. He hovers it over his head moments before forcefully pushing his face into it. He comes to realization that he's not going to be asleep any time soon, and after a second of thought, the boy cautiously gets up, throws on a t-shirt, and grabs his keys.
The cool November morning breeze rushes past him on the short walk to his car. His face is frozen by the time he gets in, and goosebumps are crawling up his bare arms.
When he's finally out on the main road, everything becomes a blur and he zones out completely. His thoughts immediately swarm back to Vera — which he curses himself for since the main purpose of this drive was to distract him.
It's not long until his eyes start to prick.
A sour and throbbing spark of pain reaches up into his chest. He reaches a hand up and clutches on the fabric of his shirt, squeezing until all the blood in his knuckles are gone. Sobs are falling past his lips as he mindlessly pulls into a driveway in Edina.
Gracelyn Banks was sitting on the living room sofa eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes and flipping through a magazine when she heard somebody struggling with the front door.
The worst scenario possible comes to mind.
Murderer.
She reached over to the lamp she was using and unpluged it from its outlet. She clutched tightly onto the base and hid behind a wall, getting ready to pounce on the intruder. When the door finally opened, she leapt around the corner.
The girl almost dropped the lamp when she saw who it was.
"Oh, Addy..."
Her little brother, standing there with tears streaming down his cheeks.
He's still clutching tightly onto his shirt.
Gracelyn carefully set the lamp down on the floor before she slowly approached him, wary of what state he's in. "What happened?"
But Adam wastes no time in tightly wrapping his arms around her, burying his face into her shoulder.
He then spoke so quietly, Gracelyn barely caught it.
"She hates me."
-
mari speaks!!
whoops.
maybe i made this a little too dramatic idk
but it adds flavor so :)
thank you all for reading! I hope wherever you are, that you all have a blessed day or night commenting and voting are greatly appreciated! they boost my motivation sm
-