I didn't want to leave. Not like this. I was like a big emo baby. The girls were obsessed with babying me. Talking down to me. Mothering me. Giving me cuddley toys. I tried saying stop but they just thought I was more adorable for babbling. I was getting so stressed. They liked it even more when I cried it seemed, it gave them an excuse to mother me more, they kept wiping my face with a soft little towel. I had no strength and I had guys my own age being like father figures now, it was basically a slap to the face of everything I'm not. They were all strong and educated and classy looking. I just looked like some jumped up emo chav. I don't want to wet myself and wear nappies but my body is so stupid. Why does everyone treat me like a baby?! What is it about me? I threw myself back in my push chair, lightly growling to myself and straining. This is such crap! I watched them pack me my going out back. Taking the piss at how small my nappies were. I hated them! It was like they were taking out an actual fucking baby I felt. I think that's what they thought. They strapped the push chair blanket over my legs that fastened either side. It was black and padded, I'm glad I had it as I didn't have any shoes on. They pushed the hood forward and attached the plastic rain covering. That I kinda liked. It was like I was in my own little world, no 1 could see me. I had a fluffy tiger next to me one of the girls gave me. It was quite large and squishy. Atleast no 1 would see me. We began leaving and went outside walking to the bus stop. The rain patted down on the plastic cover. It was quite comforting. There also was a cool breeze and I cuddled down into the push chair. It was warm and safe. I looked to the fluffy tiger, I held its arm. It was kinda nice. It was really relaxing in here. Being out made me nervous, after the last time. I wanted cuddles, I want dr.j....I wanted my daddy....I'm just scared. I peed a little in my nappy. Why body! I'm now gonna end up sitting in a wet nappy. I shuffled around and it squelched. I wished I was back in bed cuddled up with dr.j.
We got to the bus stop and waited about 30 minutes before the bus. I almost nodded of waiting. The straps became a tight comfort. We got on the bus and they pulled up the push chair plastic and pushed down the hood. I was exposed. We were sat at the front where the push chairs go. There were some teenage girls sitting in the back laughing at me with their boyfriends. It reminded me of my girlfriend and my mates. How we used to do that. I used to get the girls. I went to massive house parties. I was the popular 1. Now I just feel like a stupid baby. I slumped back. One of the student got out a sippy cup for me with juice in and put it in the cup holder on the pushchair. The teenagers in the pack mimicked being a baby at me. I was so angry, I knocked the cup away. 1 of the male students picked it up
"No Tom we don't Chuck things, that's naughty!" He said while placing it back.
There was nothing I could do, I couldn't escape. I was being publicly ridiculed. I felt ridiculous. I looked next to me on the other side of the bus there was a baby about 18 months old just staring at me. I'm not like you. Then I started looking at her push chair and mine. Her straps and mine. Her sippy cup and mine. O my god, I've just fucking regressed. But it's worse. Atleast she's a baby and doesn't know what's going on. I do. I maybe older then her but we are the same. She probably has more control over her body then I do now. She'll eventually gain more control over herself, will I ever? Or will I just forever be a baby? I'm not her! I'm not her! I'm a man! U just have problems but ur a man!.....who wears nappy's, gets fed a bottle, gets changed etc. fuck! When does this end? Is my life now just regressed into this! I kicked my legs and pulled on the straps. Get them off me! I couldn't even sit forward. Your just a little baby Tom I thought.
We get to our stop and they roll me out. It was only a short walk to the pub and we got in.
We sat on a long table and the put me on the end. They didn't really acknowledge me apart from 1 girl who was going through the bag. She got out a plastic tub and plastic spoon and a bib. The bib was like a toweling material. She wrapped it round my neck. Everyone was staring. Probably thinking I was faking it. As I had a nose ring and at-least 8 piercings on either ear. I felt like a faker. She began trying to feed me mashed up banana. I grabbed the spoon from her. I can do it! I'm not that incapable. The moment I grabbed the spoon the banana flew off onto my leg. She put the spoon back and began clearing me up.
"Silly boy, you made a messy now didn't you!"
Made a messy? Bro....are u for real? She got another spoon and I grabbed it again. I managed to keep the banana on there this time. It was like my whole body was numb. I was concentrating so much to try get it in my mouth but I just couldn't quite make it. She grabbed my hand and helped guide me in. I wanted to pull away but she pulled the spoon upwards. She smiled. She was pretty. Shit no! Why does life have to be this way! A pretty girl feeding me? I screamed angrily and began trying to get up, everyone just stared at me struggling. I imagined I looked like some toddler having a tantrum. I want my independence! She ignored me and got another spoonful and tried to put it in forgetting I actually needed to open my mouth.
"Open up" she said
while opening her mouth to indicate what I had to do. I sat there pouting until I opened my mouth. I opened and she popped the spoon in and pulled up then gathering the left of bits from around my mouth. She jokely played aeroplane, i kinda smiled.
"There aren't you handsome when you smile" she said while wiping my face.
She was funny. She was nice. I liked her.
"I'm Kerry"
She offered out her hand. I grabbed her fingers. My hand eye co-ordination was not good.
"Tom" I said back
"Well pleasure to meet you tom"
She made me feel normal, for the first time in a long while. She made me nervous. If I was normal I would flirt with her. I just stared at her. Smiling.
"You going to come for your bottle little man?"
Before I knew it, I was being unstrapped and sat on another of the students laps. I struggled, I was busy! I wanted Kerry not him. I was eye height to everyone now. Was strange looking at everyone socialise. While I was looking, I saw my old group of friends walk in with my "girlfriend" who was actually holding hands with another guy. It was like a kick to the chest. They looked over and saw me while this guy tried pushing down me down for a bottle. I tried slipping off his lap. This was embarrassing. I was trying to slip through his legs. He roughly grabbed me and sat me back on his lap. My old friends just gawping at the entertainment. He put his hand around my crotch so I couldn't slip down any more, he then forcefully shoved the bottle tip in my mouth with his other hand. It made me squeal as the nipple almost reached the back of my throat and I had to use all my tongue and jaw to just swallow my own saliva but with each time I did that more formula got squirted into the back of my throat. My old group of friends all just stared in shock. My ex just cringing. Her new boyfriend in shock I was actually her ex. Me on another dudes lap, his hand basically on my dick, bib with bottle in my mouth. I reckon everyone was staring at this point. My back was pinned to his body.
"Come on, eat up little one" he said
I moaned a little and tried pushing the bottle out of my mouth with my tongue but he held it firm. I grabbed is large hand that was holding my bottle. I'll feed myself. He bounced me up a little. I gulped. I sat just off his thigh. My legs spreading across both of his. The bottle so tightly rammed in my mouth my head was resting on the front of his shoulder. His large hand in between my legs, tightly pinning my crotch to him. My hand flexing grabbing the air. My legs lightly kicking in my annoyance. He squeezed the bottle and formula filled my mouth. With each gulp I made a little moan. I didn't want it. There was nothing I could do. I continued suckling. Watching everyone watching me take it. The milky formula began making me sleepy. I relaxed. He relaxed. He began turning me and I lay in the crook of his arm. He looked down at me.
"Hey there" he said softly
I relaxed and just stared up to him. He just carried on staring at me, rocking me. He stopped a few times to wipe my milky mouth then Forcefully putting the nipple back in my mouth. I could feel my stomach start to bloat. I felt tiny. I felt like was baby. I was a baby. Just a big 1. I also felt warm and safe being in someone's arms. To be near to them. I suckled and actually enjoyed it. Forgetting my old friends were still staring at me. I curled my toes and I continued to feed on my bottle until it was done. The student then picked me up from under my arms and swung my legs round him. I laid my head on his shoulder, I was so weak. I was so sleepy. It was getting late. He began rubbing and patting my back. Trying to burp me. I personally thought it just felt nice some rubbing my back. I cuddled into his shoulder and got drowsy. The students around me were still drinking, laughing and eating. At 1 point in my life I would of enjoyed that but right now I'm actually just happy being a little baby again. I did a few silent burps which helped the bloating. I could feel I needed to pee. I couldn't be bothered to hold it in so I relaxed and released myself into my nappy. My stomach relaxed and the pressure went away. My nappy was now warm and wet. It was a little uncomfortable but in the moment I was just so sleepy I didn't care. I was being bounced lightly. The movement was so nice. I can't remember the last time I felt this good.