"It's okay, I can do the dishes later. You already took over the cooking part."
"Fine..."
You feigned defeat, but stood up to hand Kohaku the dirty dishes anyway. There was no way you could sit around uselessly while he let you stay at his house for free. Granted, he did invite you and not the other way around, but you still felt obligated to give back some of that kindness.
The water in the sink gradually turned into a mushy brown mass and you almost didn't notice you were already finished with the task until Kohaku started talking again.
"Uh, so... about where you'll be sleeping."
Was it really that late already? You faintly remember turning on the lights when the sun dissapeared behind the horizon and a small glance at your phone informed you that it was indeed creeping closer to your usual bedtime.
"I didn't really expect to have someone sleep over so you can take the bed, I'll be on the couch."
He continued, seemingly antsy over something. You knew him to act that way when he didn't really mean what he said. The couch you sat on earlier was way too small for an adult to sleep on comfortably and both of you knew that. You also knew that Kohaku couldn't possibly ask for the bed himself, not as a host and not as a man.
"Absolutely not, you'll end up sore and that'll influence your performance tomorrow. I can afford to be a little sore now that most things are taken care of."
At this, Kohaku let his gaze drop to the floor.
"If you don't get enough sleep you'll pass out at work again..."
He didn't have to continue his statement, you remember the lecture he gave you that led to this situation in the first place. Him worrying over you would cause more problems than just a few sore muscles.
"We kind of both need the bed then, huh? We should just use it together."
A giggle should have marked this as an obvious joke, but Kohakus silence that followed made your heart drop. He considered it. And now you did, too. His gaze was still turned away from you, but you could tell that it was less out of worry and more out of embarrassment, the same cause for the red creeping up your own face.
"I... I mean... for safety reasons?"
He joked back at you, eliciting a laugh from both sides. Both of you ignored the voices of reason screaming in your heads, begging you to find another solution, but it was already settled. You would be sleeping in the same bed as your idol talent, a person you look up to, a friend. Somehow it made you more nervous than it should, you were just two adults hiding from the scary world outside together. Yet, it felt so intimate just casually sharing a living space despite the reason for your stay.
A shared smile set the both of you in motion again after standing awkwardly in the kitchen. Leading you into his bedroom, you found your suitcase laying neatly at the foot of the bed. You opened it to grab your pajamas and toothbrush, then quickly closed it again realizing that your underwear was inconveniently stashed on top of the pile. How embarrassing.
"Uhm... where do I change?"
You tried to divert the attention from it but you could tell by the way Kohaku was avoiding eye contact that he very much saw everything there was to see. Both of you just kept shattering walls of privacy and you didn't know if you could take any more of it in one day.
"You can use the bathroom, it has a lock. I'll be here and be quick. Just let me grab my toothbrush first."
Before you could respond, he was already out the door, toothbrush in hand, gesturing you into the small room. You obliged, not feeling confident enough to tease him about being flustered even though you would have loved to see his nose scrunch up in embarrassment. The door locked behind you in a swift motion. For the first time today, you were alone.
You caught yourself sighing out all the stress of the day. Even though you were completely comfortable with Kohakus presence, it was still human interaction and you for sure had enough of that today. Also, he made you feel kind of nervous. In a strangely good way. A way that you didn't want to admit to yourself was...
Oh, the tiles were cold.
Losing your socks, you stepped on the ground bare feeted. The freezing sensation was a convenient excuse not to finish your thought. You were afraid to finish it. More than just being your coworker, Kohaku was also an idol with a lot of eyes on him. And those eyes would immediately find out about any relationship that he got into. Hypothetically speaking, of course. You didn't plan to water the bud in your heart.
No more of these thoughts, you worried enough for the day. A splash of cold water brought some focus on the task at hand, but didn't exactly succeed in shooing the train of thought threatening to take you on another trip. With a huff, you got rid of the rest of your clothes and put on the sleepwear you brought along.
Brushing your teeth felt like a struggle not to return to daydreaming. In hope of distraction, you began to analyze the inventory of the foreign bathroom. Some soap on the sink, a singular skincare cream on the open shelf above it. A bottle of shampoo in the shower opposite to the door and an untouched roll of toilet paper on the surface next to the toilet.
Not enough items to distract you for the time being, not by a long shot. You didn't wanna pry into the privacy of your host, but what else were you supposed to do? Halfway done with your teeth, you opened one of the cabinets hiding behind an evenly split mirror as silently as you could.
Empty.
The only other door you dared to open was a small cabinet closer to the toilet. Hopefully this one would hold something interesting. Opening it up, it sure did hold a lot. Though all of the items you found were the same.
Red, blue, green... the only thing that discerned one one time use toothbrush from another was their color.
Now that you looked at them up close, Kohaku also carried one of them with him when he left the bathroom in a hurry earlier. You chuckled at the thought that he might really like the flavor of toothpaste they used on these prepacked toothbrushes. Cute, like a picky child. But he was an adult, so who were you to judge?
Satisfied with both your findings and brushwork, you rinsed your mouth and looked into the mirror. Yep, definitely sleepy. And by now you had also calmed down enough for your body to feel the same kind of tiredness as your face expressed. The toothbrush wandered back into your pouch and with a click of the bathroom door, you made your way back to the bedroom.
Just a step across the hallway, the bedroom door stood open, inviting you in. Appearently Kohaku had been much faster than you in getting ready for bed as he was already all comfortable under the covers, sitting up with his phone in hand. When he spotted you, he got up.
"Free choice of bedside!"
He walked around you, closing the door while you stored your clothes and pouch in your suitcase. Awkwardly standing there, he gestured to the bed. It was cute seeing him nervous, you just hoped your nervousness expressed itself in a similar way. Even though it by far wasn't your first time sleeping over at someone's place, it was the first time for you to feel this fussy. Not in a bad way, just... making you unsure how to act yet anticipating how the situation would play out.
You decided on the wall side of the bed, the only option in your eyes. Not only by preference, but also because choosing the side facing the room would make Kohaku have to crawl over you. As much as the mental imagery enticed you to provoke him, you didn't want to unnecessarily add tension this close to bedtime.
Sliding under the covers felt like a magical veil of sleep washing over you. Not yet though, because you still had some work emails to check that had laid in abandon all day if not week. Kohaku joined you after turning off the lights. Now only the moon blessed you with its light, the apartment was too high up for any of the street lights to reach the room.
In contrast to the now dark environment, your phone screen felt like a stab to the eyes. As if they weren't dry enough already, you thought and winced, rubbing them in an attempt to get rid of the needles in your eyeballs. Only a few more minutes, you begged them to hold out.
"Do you always check work emails before bed?"
Kohaku's voice sounded from beside you. He laid on his back but propped himself on his side when you turned your upper body towards him to answer. The blanket connecting the both of you shifted with the movement.
"Yeah, I'm unavailable for the time sleeping after all."
What you tried to make sound diligent came off as a desperate attempt to justify overworking yourself. All it did was cast a worried expression on Kohakus face. Even in dim light and a frown he was still so pretty.
"I just get home and forget about work. Unless there is a project to work on, that is."
He rolled his eyes at the last part of his statement. Both of you remembered countless occasions where the entirety of CrazyB had to stay late because a due date was nearing.
"Well... I do the same, except there is always some kind of project..."
You chuckled weakly, of course you would prefer to just ditch your duties outside of work hours but the type of work and people didn't allow that. Especially international partners relied on fast responses on schedule, even if it was outside of yours. It was fine, you got used to it. Working towards a better life for your idols motivated you.
The idol in question didn't seem particularly convinced but let the issue go. He knew you were doing your best for him and he didn't plan to stop you. At least not yet. Thinking back to the events of the day, you were sure he would just drag you home and make you take a day off if it was appropriate. Or possible, schedule wise.
"See, all done already. It's not 'that' much."
Another attempt to soothe the others worries only resulted in a raised eyebrow. He really didn't want to believe you. Or maybe you were really severely overworking yourself. Latter sounded more believable, but if you admitted that to yourself you would have to cut down on work and lose some projects for your idols...
The click of your screen locking and a tilt of your hand signaled Kohaku to take your phone and place it on the nightstand on his side, as yours didn't have one.
He leaned over to grab it and your fingers touched.
Just a brief moment, merely grazing each other.
And even though you had been close to him before, this little touch seemed to hold so much more than just casuality. Maybe it was because you were sharing a bed. Or because wearing your pajamas made you feel vulnerable. Or maybe you...
...no, not that again. You didn't allow that thought in your head. Even if it kept pushing itself in front of the thousand worries encaging it. Yet you couldn't help but feel that way when Kohaku looked at you like this. A slight blush on his cheeks and a mouth agape ever so slightly, eyes like that of a doe capturing you in their beauty. The view lingered in your mind even after Kohaku averted his gaze and finally left your phone to charge for the night.
Catching yourself staring at him, you also turned around as a safety measure. You may not be able to convince yourself, but there was no way you could let Kohaku even get an idea of the feelings swirling in your stomach. It was unprofessional at the least. And a risk you were too afraid to take on a personal level. It was fine as it was right now, you didn't dare complicate things.
You didn't want to... but everything Kohaku did in your presence just nudged you further past the point of no return. The gentle rustle of the blanket when he snuggled back under the covers, the soft "goodnight" he whispered across the bed that you returned with the same flustered voice, a gentle pull of the blanket with every breath.
The warmth that radiated from beside you.
Close, but not close enough to touch, the blanket acted like a bridge between your bodies, connecting and transmitting every movement. There was no way you could sleep like this, not if you were reminded of who you shared a bed with every few seconds. In an attempt to hide yourself from your embarrassing thoughts, you pulled the blanket up to your face, covering half of it with it.
They smelled like him.
It was a light, sweet fragrance just like the variety of confectionery he liked to eat, mixed with the flair of something foresty, a pinecone, if you had to put a finger on it. Everything reminded you of him - which wasn't a surprise considering you were in his apartment - and you were convinced you were going to dream of him in one way or another.
Somehow, the thought of seeing him even during your sleep calmed you and you finally felt your heartbeat returning to a calmer rhythm. Before you could form another thought, you had already fallen asleep.