ok so this one is for kryzme, who is in LOVE with jasper, i get frequent messages telling me what she would do to him, so this one is all her fault :)
enjoy kids :D
Jaspers P.O.V
I watched the coffee cup fill so slowly it was almost as it years had passed when it was finally full. There were nurses all around me and various patients, unfortunately some women don’t get that when im in a hospital visiting somebody who is still in the danger zone it’s probably not the best time to come up to me and try to give me your number.
I had already snapped at three women and told them to get away from me, and slowly my patience was slipping away. I turned to the nurse who was trying desperately to flirt with me.
“Look, one of my closest friends is lying in there in a coma while she tries to fight off being drugged. Do you really think that I would flirt with you, because either way the answers no”. I snapped at her, before turning to the crowd of women surrounding me “the answer was no five hours ago and it’s still no”. I shouted at them watching them all avert their gazes so they didn’t meet my eyes, before slowly moving away from me.
“Praise Jesus”. I said throwing my hands up in the air, not caring what kind of funny looks I was getting. I grabbed the coffee cup filling it with a little milk and making me way down the corridor to Tess’s hospital room. Jamie was lying against her frozen arm, his five o’clock shadow clear since it had been a day since she got taken in.
“Here”. I said handing him the other cup of coffee in my hand, he sat up yawning and took it with one hand, the other hand remaining as always holding Tess’s hand almost like it was for dear life.
I had left at 7am this morning to go home and shower, all attempts to sleep were fruitless, every time I closed my eyes I imagined Tess lying so helpless on that table, that it plagued my thoughts.
“You should go and shower. Tess would kick my ass if she found out that I let you stay here”. I said with a grin, but my heart wasn’t in it. I should probably hate Jamie, but I didn’t. I couldn’t hate anyone who loved her as much as he did, no matter how hard I tried.
He tried to smile back but it looked strained and uncomfortable, he was still wearing the suit from that other night and the bags underneath his eyes showed how sleepless last night had been.
“I don’t know if im able to leave her”. He said drinking his coffee, I looked at him only for a second before I realized why. He was afraid for her.
“Ill wait with her until you come back”. I offered trying to sound casual but at the same time portray just amount of protectiveness. Jamie searched my eyes his grey eyes boring into mine.
He shrugged eventually, “in all honesty, I should go home but I don’t want to, I told my parents about our relationship”. He said sighing and running his fingers through his hair.
I raised my eyebrow and took the seat opposite Jamie’s on the other side of Tess’s bed. Leaning back in the chair and resting my hands on the bed, I wanted to grab her hand so bad, but I don’t think that Jamie would appreciate me touching his girlfriend.
“They took it well at the time, but only because I probably looked like I would stab them otherwise, but now it’s going to be all business”. He said groaning, looking like he genuinely wished he could be an average Joe right about now. I was just about to tell him so when my phone rang.
The nurse in the room shot me a dirty look, basically telling me to take it outside, I nodded and shot her my signature grin to apologise, and I watched her gasp before I ducked outside.
“Hello?” I answered, sounding grim. I walked to the door taking me out of the hospital.
“Jasper where the f*ck are you?” came Trevor’s demanding voice down the line. My hackles instantly raised, I wasn’t in the mood for this shit.
“Im not going Trevor, I have something much more important to do than go to a stupid premiere”. I said lighting up a cigarette and taking a deep drag out of it. I looked around the sparsely populated smoking area for anyone who might have heard. There were a couple of nurses checking me out in the corner, I rolled my eyes.
“Jasper there is hundreds of girls waiting to see you, they aren’t going to be happy to find out they have been camping outside in the rain all day and you don’t even turn up”. He said trying to sound persuasive but instead it came out desperate and whiney.
“Look, im not f*cking coming ok”. I hissed through my teeth.
“Ok, ok but can you at least show your face at the after party?” he asked again in his annoying whine.
“Nope”. I said hanging up, I sighed turning up the collar of my bomber jacket so it shielded my neck from the nipping wind. I took deep drags of my cigarette trying to tune everything else out.
“Sorry, your jasper Blake aren’t you?” I heard a female voice say, I opened my eyes to find a petite blonde nurse standing there, trying to look sexy.
I wanted to roll my eyes but had a better idea. “Last time I checked”. I said jokingly, shooting her a smirk that was as fake as Pam Anderson’s tits.
She giggled into her hand and I fought the urge to snort. “Can you sign this for me?” she asked thrusting a notepad under my nose. Ok desperate, I thought to myself but kept my smirk in place.
“Sure, who shall I sign it to?” I asked flirting back, she giggled again. This is just too easy. Maybe that’s why Tess has had such an impact on me, because she doesn’t act like she cares about me being famous.
“Jennifer”. She said fluttering her eyelashes, I took the sharpie she handed me and scribbled the same old crap that these women want me to write. ‘I wrote this through a haze because of Jennifer’s hypnotic blue eyes. Jasper Blake’ I wrote quickly handing it back to her.
She giggled reaching out to take it back off me but I snatched it back out of her reach. “Hey jenny. I can call you that cant I?” I asked charmingly, watching her face turn into a mask of shock, before turning up into a warm smile, she nodded eagerly.
“Can you tell me something?” I asked seductively leaning into her. I watched her gulp and nod; she was obviously lost for words. “What’s going on with my friend in room 22b?” I asked, knowing that she wasn’t allowed to give any information away.
She hesitated for a second and I smiled at her, and leaned in closer. She breathed in deeply. Holy shit did she actually just sniff me? I had to bite back laughter. “She is stable at the moment; she had a reaction to rohypnol”. She said, looking sad towards the end. So Richard had given her the date rape drug, that bastard.
“Thank you so much Jenny”. I said smiling at her wider than before, actually meaning it this time, delighted over the fact that Tess would be waking up soon. I handed back the notepad to her and kissed her gently on the cheek before flicking away my cigarette butt and walking inside.
I walked aimlessly, not really wanting to go back and sit with Jamie while he showed how much he loved Tess. It made me feel guilty for my own growing feeling towards her.
I didn’t realize that I was in the pre-natal section until the smell of babies hit me like a bulldozer; I looked over at the thick glass wall, with proud fathers pointing out their newborns. For some reason I walked towards it pressing my nose up against the glass and watching a tiny purple baby wriggling and looking at me.
I smiled at it genuinely, wondering what my life would have been like if I had parents that actually wanted to see me when I was born. The thought easily led onto another, this one even closer to my heart and one that was most painful. I wondered what my child would have looked like, it would have been a toddler by now, walking and talking. Would he or she have inherited my charming smile or Francesca’s brown eyes?
I never should have let her convince me that abortion was right; I knew when it was over that it had been the wrong choice, like there was a part of me that died that day. Francesca didn’t want to be a mother, but I would have loved it enough for us both, I wouldn’t be like my parents. But no, she didn’t want to ruin her figure, after that day, I detached myself from everyone. Even she left eventually, but it was probably due to me pushing her away. The tattoo over my heart was supposed to remind me of this, to tell me never to fall in love again.
Somehow that thought led onto another, of what if it was Tess that was having my baby. She wouldn’t have gotten rid of it so heartlessly for the sake of her figure. I didn’t realize I was crying until I heard a voice at my left, I looked around, there was a girl standing there looking at me intently, she was a couple of years younger than me, around Tess’s age, her bright red hair was straight and to her elbows and her green eyes were sparkling as she looked at me with curiosity
“Which one’s yours?” She asked me, looking straight into my eyes. I shook my head not wanting to answer. “Nice talking to you too buddy” she muttered as I moved away from her.
Without answering I walked away trying to put a wall over my feelings again.
*
I walked into intensive care to find Jamie still sitting there; he was brushing Tess’s hair away from her forehead making my heart squeeze uncomfortably again. I looked at the ground.
“Im going to go then, I have to go to a work thing. Call me if there’s any change?” I said focusing on the blue tile on the floor.
“That’s fine”. Jamie said softly to me and I turned around walking out the door. I was going to do things the normal way, I was going to go out, get shitfaced and forget everything.
I was standing there in the group of girls, shooting them all smiles that made them flutter their eyelashes and push up their cleavage until it reached their chins. I fought the urge to laugh at them when a girl caught my eye on the dance floor, her long black curls a shade darker than Tess’s and she was obviously partial to more of that face muck than Tess was, but she still looked like her, pushing my way through the crowd I walked up to her. She danced more seductively when she saw me approaching.
I rolled my eyes, “she doesn’t have to act like her, she just has to look like her”. I said under my breath to myself.
“Hey”. She breathed up at me as I approached her pushing her body against mine. I raised my brow looking at her, well one thing’s for sure she doesn’t act like her. I thought to myself bringing a wry grin to my lips.
“You wanna come back to my place?” I asked, and she answered me with a kiss, that was borderline desperate.
Taking that for a yes I pulled her outside to where my chauffer driven car was.
*
I threw her down on my bed, not doing to usual moves than normal but being sweet and tender. Kissing her on the lips sweetly and touching her softly, she moved underneath me as I moved against her body.
“Why do you keep closing your eyes baby?” She asked, shattering my internal image that it was Tess I was with and not her. Suddenly I couldn’t do it anymore, moving away from her and pulling the bad sheet around my naked waist.
“I think you should go”. I said quietly, already picking up my phone to call Sam my driver, she whined on the bed thinking I was playing, but I turned away, from her and walked over to the glass walls of my flat, looking over London city.
“Are you for real?” She asked in an astonished voice behind me, I didn’t even bother to turn around; I picked the phone and called Sam.
“Hey Sam, can I get a lift home for...” I said stopping as I realized I didn’t know her name, I looked over my shoulder at her; she was sulkily picking up her clothes like a child having a temper tantrum.
“My name is grace”. She said through her teeth pulling on her shirt.
“..For grace”. I finished hearing Sam reply that it would be fine, I hung up. I pulled on my pair of boxers and lit up a cigarette, grace went to the bathroom, no doubt to tart herself up more.
I breathed in the smoke heavily looking at the view, I leaned on the window, and you could almost see the hospital from here. I was wrapped up in my thoughts when I heard someone clear their voice behind me, turning I found grace standing there her arms crossed, I heard the door ping as Sam had arrived.
I walked past her and opened the door, she looked at me again with a ‘what the f*ck’ look again before sighing in defeat, grabbing her shit and making her way to the door.
She turned to me before leaving. “We should do this again, next time you won’t be saying no. You’ll be begging for more”. She said trying to sound sexy; I rolled my eyes not bothering to hide it.
“That is highly doubtful” I said, she leaned in to give me a kiss and I returned it with a light peck before closing the door.
I went into my room and found her number written on my bed, lifting the sheet of paper I let out a low chuckle before scrunching it up and throwing it on the floor.
Not wanting to sleep on that bed, not that I would be doing much sleeping but still it was almost as if grace had tainted this room. That was strange, I had brought back hundreds of girls and it had never felt like this before. I pulled my ass into the shower, washing away grace from my skin before going to the spare room and throwing myself heavily down on the bed looking up at the ceiling.
“What the f*ck are you doing to yourself jasper” I muttered in the darkness. I closed my eyes for a second and imagined her laughing.
That night I fell asleep thinking about the one girl, I would never have.
*
I must have fallen asleep because the shrill ringing of my phone woke me up, I sat up squinting and grabbing blindly for my phone, finding it on the bedside table, and I lifted it. There was an unknown number ringing me.
“Hello?” I answered in a throaty voice; I desperately needed a glass of water.
“Jasper?” Came an excited voice down the line that instantly raised my hopes.
“Jamie? What’s up?” I asked getting up already and pulling of some jeans.
“Its Tessie, she’s woken up”. He said with a little laugh to show how happy he was. Relief coursed through my veins like a brand of the most addictive drug in the world.
“Ill be there in ten”. I said hanging up and grabbing my car keys.
Damn I have it bad.