I was super happy when Mummy gave me a little toy table for my dolls. It meant that I could put them all around it to sit down when they had a tea party, just like having dinner at the big table. And I could still play with them sitting on the floor, even if I wasn't big enough to reach the table without falling down today. I wasn't quite that little; I could probably have pulled myself up onto a chair if I wanted to. But putting all the little plastic cups on the table would have been pretty tough, and I didn't know if all the dolls would be big enough to reach. Having our own little table in the lounge was easier anyway, and I didn't know if Lyra would be able to walk today.
I beamed with pride when I remembered that my friend was coming to stay. I couldn't always remember, but today I knew. That meant I must be just a little bit bigger, and trying to be a big girl was fun unless I did too well. I turned and looked up at Mummy with a big smile on my face; and I knew that she was happy to watch me as well. She loved seeing me play, and it made moments like this so much better. Whether it was just me playing, or having a sleepover with Penny or Lyra, or just occasionally we could go somewhere with Jinny and some of her friends. I always felt like I was alive and living the best life I possibly could.
"Look!" I said, pointing at the dolls. "Everybody's waiting for Lyra!"
"Oh, yes they are," she answered. "You're such a good girl. Do you want me to go and pick up Lyra, so all your dollies can say hi to her?"
I nodded, grinning so much that it felt like the top of my head might fall off.
"Well, I don't know how today is going to go. I don't know if they'll need me at work or not. So when I go out, I might come back with Lyra, or I might not come back until later. Is that still okay for you?"
Again, I nodded. I knew that Mummy had to work sometimes, and I could keep on playing while I waited for her to come back. There would be somebody to look after me; maybe Penny, or maybe Sarah and Scott. Maybe even Monique would come visit; she'd done that once, a month or two after the first time we'd met her at the water park. And I knew that Mummy had been talking to her a lot lately, so maybe she would be able to babysit again and I could play with Jinny.
"Do you need Sarah to look after you today?" Mummy asked, just while I was thinking about it. "She should be home from her friends' house soon. If you're feeling too little to look after yourself."
"Yeah!" I said with a big smile. "And Scott? I like his puppets!"
"They are cute, aren't they?" she said, but I could see that there was something else behind her smile. "Does Scott always come when Sarah's babysitting?"
"Yeah!" I said, and then thought again. I really couldn't be sure how often Scott was here. I knew I loved it when he was, maybe even more than when it was Penny caring for me. But sometimes Scott and Sarah just went to their room, and I didn't see them at all unless I shouted. And then I was sure there were times when it was just Sarah, too. "Well, I dunno. Lots of times!"
"Okay, sweetie. But today I've asked Sarah if she can not invite him back here. There are some things that I want to talk about, and with so much sneaking around I think there might be things she needs to be honest about with me as well."
"Awww," I said, and pouted. But I was just pretending, I couldn't be sad for long. And I knew Mummy was always right. "But he can come again after you talked?"
"Maybe. But I'm worried about Sarah. Maybe she'd not such a good girl after all."
"Sarah's nice!" I said.
"I hope so," Mummy said. "I really do. But I know the problems some of my friends had with their little ones, and I hope I've not been letting her get away with too much. It'll be harder to persuade her now, but I think there's still time."
I tried to understand what she had said, but it was a bit too complicated for me. Maybe I should have asked when I was a bit more grown up, but I thought Mummy was really worried, and she wouldn't have wanted to make me worry too. Like this, she knew that I wouldn't really understand. So after thinking for a little bit I just shrugged and answered "Sarah's nice."
"She is," Mummy agreed, and ruffled my hair. And then I felt like I could calm down again, there really was nothing else to worry about. I knew that Mummy was really clever, and what she decided to do would always be right, so there was nothing else for me to worry about. "Yes, she is. Now, would you like to read your book a bit before I go out? I promise, I'll try to help you."
I nodded, and Mummy quickly went to bring a book for me to look at. She helped me to find the right bit to read, so I could learn to be a good girl, and when I had trouble with the words she helped me by sounding them out for me. The words were complicated, and it was hard to understand. Sometimes, it felt like I was reading the same bit over and over, even with Mummy to help me stay at the right place. But I knew that was supposed to happen, and I knew I wanted to be a good baby for my Mummy. I didn't need to ask questions when I could just read, and I could feel proud for even being able to do that.
I read for a long time, and Mummy had only just started packing the book away in its box when I heard the front door open and knew that it was Sarah coming home. I really hoped that she was being a good girl today, and she was going to listen to what Mummy wanted to tell her. I didn't want her to be naughty, and Mummy always knows what's best for us. Sarah just needed to learn that.
"Hi honey!" Mummy called out. "Can you look after Alice? I'm out to see if they need me in the office; I might be right back if they don't. Either way, I'll need to talk to you when I get back. And I should have Lyra with me as well. Okay?"
"Yeah, fine," Sarah called, already starting up the stairs. "I'll just get changed, and then I can look after the baby. Okay?"
"That's great, sweetie. I hope you two can have a lot of fun. I won't be long, I promise. And then we can talk."
It was a couple of minutes later that Mummy came downstairs again and dashed to the front door. "See you later," she said. "Be good girls for Mummy."
"Yes Mummy!" I called back, so happy that she could trust me like that. Sarah grumbled under her breath, but called out that she was always good. And then Mummy was gone, and it was just Sarah looking after me.
I started showing Sarah my dolls, and how they were all so excited while we waited for Lyra to come to our tea party. Sarah just nodded and smiled, but I could see she was really happy to see that I was enjoying myself. And I had so many dolls to play with that there were still a lot of things I wanted to tell her ten minutes later, when Sarah had to dash off because somebody was knocking at the back door.
"At last," she said, and flashed me a quick smile. "Just keep playing with your dolls for now, okay? I'll be back to change you soon enough."