A/N
While writing this chapter I listened to "The wisp sings" by Winter Aid if you want to get more into the mood
enjoy the reading :)
LIZZIE'S POV
"How she feels?"
"Well it's a bit of a difficult situation, i mean, this changes everything in her life, she feels without certainties, she's confused and angry" i explain
"And how are you feeling, Lizzie?" Scarlett asks on the phone
"Well good i guess, yeah, not very good but i think it's normal, isn't it? I feel bad to see her like this, i would like to do something but i feel helpless right now"
"You know that this has nothing to do with you right? As much as you want to help her because you love her this is not something that concerns you" Scar explains and she's actually right, as much as i want to help her i can't do much.
"Oh uhm yeah i know"
"Mmm okay..."
"What? It sounds like you want to tell me something" i say
"Well yes actually if i can be completely honest with you" she asks
"Scar was there ever a time when you weren't honest with me?" i say ironically and she lets out a chuckle
"Come on tell me"
"Well, you know how much i care about you and y/n, really, and i'm glad to see you together" she starts telling me
"But? There seems to be a but" i tell her
"But in the long run i don't know how much this relationship will be good for you two, i mean i was the first to hope and fight for you two and i know it, but i'm afraid you drag each other into your own demons. You both have things to sort out, she has a difficult past that still haunts her and you are going through a transition in your life that is not easy, and you both end up feeling bad for each other, giving up yourselves for each other and it's not fair for both" she explains, i listen to her but a sense of annoyance vibrates inside me.
"But it's normal Scar, we love each other and loving each other means being there for each other, i feel bad because it hurts to see the person you love being like this, we are in a beautiful and honest phase of our relationship, we finally talk about everything, here we are for each other and we're fine so i can't find sense in your speech" i realize i raised my voice a little
"Liz i don't want to argue with you or even cause trouble i'm just telling you what i think, try to thi-"
"And what am i supposed to do Scar? Tell me, should i leave her? Should i run away from her again? Should i see her hurt herself again and just stand and watch her?" i interrupt her and my anger is discharged against her
"Liz please..."
"No Scar is a bullshit talk, i love her and will stand by her side okay?" i yell
"Just think about it, loving means complementing each other, not self-nullifying for the other"
"Yeah well we're fine thanks so-" i answer annoyed but just at that moment someone knocks on the door
"I have to go Scar, y/n's sister has arrived" i warn her
"Okay, but you're not angry with me are you? You know i only want your good Liz" she says sorry and i actually feel a bit guilty for how i treated her
"Don't worry, Scar, i'm not angry with you" i say and after saying goodbye i go to open the door.
"Hey Emma" i smile at her
"Hey Lizzie, so how is she?" she questions worried
"Well you can imagine, it's not easy for her" i tell her
"Do you think she's mad with me now?"
"No i don't think so Emma, she loves you, she's just confused and i think she wants some answers that's all" i reassure her and she nods but i can see how nervous she is actually.
"Come on let's go to her"
"Fine..." we go to my room, i knock on the door waiting for a response from y/n to be able to enter.
"Come in" she says and so i do, i see her sitting on the bed with her back leaning against the wall while she stares into space.
Scarlett's words echo in my head for a moment but i push them away.
"Hey babe, Emma is here can i let her in?" i ask her and she nods without even looking at me.
This hurts me but i can't bring myself down right now.
I turn to Emma and wave her inside.
"Hey lil sis" Emma greets her gently smiling, y/n lifts her head and i see her eyes fill with tears.
I go close to her and leave little kisses on her head.
"I'm out here if you need anything okay?" i whisper to her
"Don't you stay here?" she asks me like a little child
"It's a family thing honey, it's only right that i give you some privacy" i explain and she pouts
"But you are my family Liz" she whispers and my heart melts
"And you are mine my love, that's why i'm out here waiting for you and whatever i'm here for"
"Fine..." she says,
"Good, remember that i love you" i smile at her leaving another kiss in her hair and then i leave them in the room to talk.
I go downstairs waiting for them to finish talking to each other.
I keep thinking about Scarlett's words and somehow as much as i think she's not right those words still have a strange effect on me.
Am i denying something?
I love with all my heart y/n and after months of fighting for her we are finally together.
We've been through a lot but we're still here and we'll also overcome the other challenges this life throws at us.
We try to be completely there for each other and that's what makes a couple right?
You must have the courage to love in the good and bad of life, knowing how to be there even when the other is sinking.
We are learning day by day and trying to improve this relationship.
I'm lost in thought leaning against the kitchen counter and looking out the window, when i feel my phone vibrate.
I grab the phone and remain paralyzed in front of what i find in front of me.
Immediately my breath begins to fail, my hands are shaking and there is no way to stop them, my legs move nervously, my heart beats so hard that i almost feel it explode in my chest.
No no no no God please no
It can't be true, how is that possible?
I feel my eyes fill with tears and panic course through my body.
And now how the fuck am i going to fix this?
How can i-
"Lizzie?" Emma's voice behind me makes me jump off the stool.
God I didn't even realize how much time has passed.
I take a deep breath as if nothing happened and turn to her.
"Sorry, i didn't mean to scare you" she says with a weak smile
"Oh uhm don't worry, h-how did it go?" i ask her but i manage to pay little attention to her, my head thinks only of what has just seen.
"...But I think it went well, this news will take some getting used to but i promised her that she's and always will be part of the family" are the only things i hear
"I think she wants to see you now, after all you're the only one who can reassure her" she adds, i nod understanding little or nothing of what she's saying.
"Hey, is everything okay? I see you a little distracted" she asks and at that moment i return to the world
"What? Oh yes yes i'm fine, do you want to stay for dinner?" i ask her
"Oh no don't worry, my husband is waiting for me but sometimes we could have a dinner for four, what do you think? I'd like you to meet him" she proposes and i smile at her even if forced.
"It would be very nice, we'll keep you updated then" i accompany her to the door and after saying goodbye, i lean my back against the door and let myself go to the desperation i've been holding up until now.
"Everything will be fine Lizzie, don't worry, you will solve everything" i whisper to myself.
I take deep breaths trying to calm down and then my head suddenly turns to the only important thing in my life, y/n.
I tidy myself up and then i go to my room.
I still see her sitting on the bed, i approach her and leave a kiss on her head.
Pretend nothing happened.
"Hey babygirl" i sit in front of her, she still doesn't look at me, so i grab her hands and take them in mine.
She looks up and looks at me, without saying anything and i decide to respect her silence.
Try to be reassured by my presence next to her, my touch and my eyes that scream all the love i feel for her.
The more I look at her and more i remember that she is worth fighting for.
"Liz?" she wakes me up
"Tell me babe" i say smiling at her, even though my chest still hurts.
Stop thinking about it Elizabeth
"Do you really love me?" she asks
"Honey..." i sigh
"I mean- listen i know i ask you every time-"
"Well yeah sometimes" i say sarcastic
"It's just- i don't know, i'm afraid of ending up like my mother" she explains
"What do you mean?"
"Well here Emma didn't know how to tell me much because she doesn't know the whole story, but well-my mom and this person who should be my father, here they loved each other so much, just like us, but life put them to a hard challenge and in the end my mom finds herself marrying a man she didn't love and leaving her true love and - well i'm afraid the same could happen to us, i don't want to think about a life without you Lizzie, i -"
"Okay hey listen to me" i say taking her face in my hands
"Look at me, i'm here, right here with you okay?
But in all honesty, every time you ask me if i love you i have to stop myself from telling you how much this hurts me.
I mean-don't misunderstand because i'm here to repeat it every time but how could i not love you?
You're the most beautiful soul in this world.
No one else makes me feel this way and nothing terrifies me more than the thought of losing you.
So yes i love you babe and my love for you won't go away, i won't go away.
I stay with you, i stay because of all the moments we spent in each others arms and the secrets we shared, the moments we didn't know would exist until now
I stay for each night we holding each other closer making a house a home filling it with love
And i stay because of the moments that are yet to come and we dream about" i explain her and i see her chest deflate with a heavy breath.
"Listen babe i know that there is nothing i could say to make the thoughts in your head any easier, but you need to know that on the other side, above all the things running through your mind, your heart instead beats for beautiful things, because you are full of love and kindness, so when your head is a bit of a mess think about this, you are made of love, you are love made in person. And people need you, i need you, i need your light. You give love and hope even in the darkest moments, you did it for me, you walk out of my darkness, you give me the strength to fight. So don't worry about your worth, don't feel like a problem, stay here, with me, stay alive, stay true to your kindness and your love, don't think about anything else, just keep shining, stay my star"
"I love you Lizzie, i can't even describe how i feel about you" she whisper with a faint voice but finally she smiling at me.
"I know honey and i'm so lucky for that, now try not to think about the bad things anymore okay? You are loved and you can be sure of that" i say
She lowers her head, i know this news will be hard to accept for a while.
"I miss my mom" she declares in a tearful voice and my eyes fill with tears
"I would like to hug her, i would like to talk to her and ask her about my real dad but i can't and i don't know if i will ever be able to" she says crying and i hug her tightly
"Oh honey i know, come here" i cuddle her
"Don't worry, everything will be fine"
Yes, everything will be fine
I cuddle her for a while until she calms down
"Better?" i ask her and she nods
"Are you staying with me?" she asks and i smile at her
"Of course i'll stay with you" i state
Her mind is still clouded by so much darkness and i want to give her some serenity even if for a little while.
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and she just looks at me without saying anything.
"I would like to kiss you, on your forehead, can i kiss you on your forehead?" i ask and she looks at me confused
"Say yes" i beg tapping her knee
"Yes" she says and smiles at me
"Good girl" i take her face and bring my lips to her forehead leaving her a little kiss.
She looks at me like a little girl
"And your chin, may i kiss your chin?" i ask again and she nods, she looks up at the ceiling impatiently and lifts her chin waiting for me to kiss her and that makes me giggle.
I approach her again and kiss her chin and see her smile.
Then I kiss her cheek and then the other, i look at her again and we get lost in her eyes while i stroke her hair.
Finally i approach her lips and kiss her, with lots of love.
I feel her relax, release all that she has been holding until now.
"I love you" i whisper on her lips
I pull away but continue to leave kisses all over her face.
"I love you" i kiss her
"I love you" i repeat kissing her
"And i love you" again and i kiss her
"Aaaand i love yo-" i say and we both burst out laughing
"You're so stupid" she says, but her gaze comes alive again and that's what matters to me.
"But thank you" she adds
I'm here to fight for it.
She looks at me and for the umpteenth time i get lost in her gaze.
"Every time i look at you i find in your gaze the warmth and security i need, i look at you and see my future in your eyes. I've never fallen in love like this before, i've never believed in fairytales and happiness until i met you and now i can't deny how much i love you" she admits in that crying voice, but a happy cry, the same one i can't help myself from either.
That's all i want,
she's all i want and i'm gonna fight for her.
____________________________________
???:
I saw everything.
....................................................................................
A/N:
Hiiiiii guys how are you?
So did anyone get the reference in this chapter?👀
And did anyone actually catch y/n and Lizzie kissing?
Who will be?
Let me know what you think and what you would like in the next chapters.
See you in the next chapter
Love y'll🤍