He don't know why but he didn't had the feeling to go to the party ...
From the morning he was feeling as if something wrong was going to take place ...
By looking at sana's face it was clearly visible that even she didn't wanted to go
But sanvi was continuously forcing her to come ...
Just because she had always considered her as her best friend Sana agreed ...
But felt conscious as sidharth presence still makes her nervous but along with that ... His presence is enough to make her feel safe ...
Where as sidharth felt a little conscious as he knows that his presence is definitely going to effect her ...
Maybe he should not go ... Because his heart was not at peace ...
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As sidharth denied to go for the party ...Sana felt a little sad .... But she didn't asked anything as she didn't wanted him to know that he still effects her ...
Yaar mujhe acha nahi lag raha hai is mohol main ...Sana whispered adjusting her dresss ... Though her dress wasn't short it was long till her knees ... But still as she felt some eyes over her .... She felt conscious ...
As some mens were looking at her lustfully ...though she was looking too hot to handle in the red colour dress ...but she still believes that ... Only sidharth has the right to see her ....to touch her and to love her because she was always his ...
Her heart still pains thinking that her sidharth who claimed that he loved her with all he had ...
Distrusted her ? ... Why ? ....isn't she be able to remove his insecurities with her love ?
She asked her self ...
Thodi der toh ruk yaar ... sanvi said ... ordering drinks ...
Main drink nahi karti tujhe pata hai na ? ...Sana whispered
Hn hn ... Mujhe pata hai ... Sanvi said ... Ordering orange juice for her ...
But seems like destiny was planning some other things for her ...
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.
Sidharth ...sanvi huffed calling him ...as now only he is the one who can handle the drunk Sana ...
Sana even in her unconscious state continuously mumuring his name calling him ...
Her orange juice was mistakenly snapped with the one alcoholic drink ...
Coming ...he whispered... immediately taking his car keys ...
Driving ...
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.
Naaz ...he whispered getting in the club ... He looked at her ... She was tipsy yet looking too hot to handle his heart skipped the beats looking at her in the red bold dress along with red lipstick fantasizing him ...
Sidharthhhh....she said in her whining voice looking at him .. she was about to cry when immediately came and throws herself in his arms ...
Bebu ...she whispered sobbing .. she felt as if seeing him after ages ...
Mera bebu ...she sobs hiding her face in his chest finding peace ... dhe don't know why ...but she just wanted to bury herself in his arms forever and never come out of it ... Her feelings suddenly bubbling up as her hold around him tightened
His eyes turned slightly misty as he felt her presence after years ... Even if she is tipsy ... Still she didn't lost the feeling of her sidharth ... Maybe that's her love for him ... Her love which doesn't have any memories.
"Pyaar kabhi bhi yaadon ka mohtaj nahi hota ...wo toh bas ho jata hai. Baar baar har baar ... Sirf ek hi shaqs se ... Wo shaqs Jo hamare dil main rehta hai ...hamare khayalon main rehta hai ...hamari baaton main rehta hai ... "
While he protective wrapped his arms around her frame glaring dangerously at the men's who were looking at her girl ...
He then glared at sanvi and ishan who held there head hung low ...he nodded his head in disbelief and lifted her up in his arms ...
She was continuously looking at him with her so much love ... His eyes welled up as he remembered that night ...
The night when she was drunk for the first time ...
The first time when she conveyed her feelings ...
The first time his heart was bloomed with immense pleasure and happiness finding that she is innocent...even after alot of misunderstandings still his heart always felt that she could never be wrong ...
It wasn't only him ... After the misunderstanding when they converted there love to each other ....he healed her perfectly taking her every pain to his heart ...
When she used to cry ...in his arms yell taking the pain .... His shattered self used to held her more tightly loosing himself in her ...
The pain she felt wasn't only her ... But he shared her every pain .... Drowning himself into it ...
He pulled her out of the pain ...but instead drowned himself in ... He never told anyone but her broken self haunted hum every night that's why he used to held her more tightly ....
His sleepless nights his fears ...he deep down started to blame himself for every pain she is suffering ...
His insecurities of her getting someone more better then him ... Though her love never let her down ...but still his heart felt immense as he saw her
She was happy but most of the time she used to suffer from her past ...
Which somewhere or the other broke him ....he felt as if he is the reason behind her suffering ...
Because somewhere or the other he too gave her pain ...
His insecurities and his fears were on the peak .... When he saw her with varun ...he burst out ...
It wasn't as if he didn't trusted her ...but he distrusted his own self that he is not capable of having her ... And in his insecurities that day he lost her ...
The four years of guilt of loneliness and of sufferings ...
He slowly adapted her every pain ...suffered from panic attacks ... Missed her ... And in these years he realised her pain more ....the pain of waiting ...
Each and every day is still so heavy over his heart ....every word used to haunt him everyday ...
He was shattered and her leaving was the disaster to himself ...
She leans above his shoulder still looking at him as if her eyes couldn't have more of looking at him .... Just at him ... As if nothing in the world can ever fantisize her more then his face ...
She kept on to look at him forgetting the world and even blinking her eyes ...
He is that precious to her ...that by looking at him she can even forget blinking her eyes ...
Her heart was beating faster even he could listen to her heartbeats ... It was beating so fast just being close to him ...
Her heart felt alive .... Her lips curd up in the most innocent smile as she hugged him keeping her head holding him closer to herself ...
His eyes were heavy still he controlled himself ...
He knows he couldn't take her home in this condition...so took her to his hotel ... Where he stayed ... And messaged pammi ji not to take any stress about her and him either ...
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She was talking and blabbering continuously about anything and everything...
He was still holding her in his arms as he opened his room's door ... Making her sit on the bed ...she was still blabbering ...
Shhh ...he whispered... Keeping his fingers on her lips ...
She adamantly removed his fingers above her ...making a pout ...
Nai chup ... Pata kitne time baad bol rahi hu main ... Ammmaa tu kitna Ganda hai ... Jaa maine baat hi nai karni tujhse ....he said in her whining voice ...
Arey nai naaz aisa nai hai ...
Chup reh ab ... Warna main Tera muh tod dungi sidharth ...
She whispered making a sulking face ... Crawling back on the bed she found the pillow held it high throwing on his face ...
He gasped ...
Maine baat hi nai karni ...she said ...
Ok ...he whispered poking her though he still knows that she can't stay quiet and in her drunk self no na never ...
He chuckles at his own thoughts ...
Hawwwww ....ab toh bilkul nai karungi pehle toh soch rahi thi chlo mera pati hai koi baat nai par ab toh bilkul baat nai karungi kasam lage mujhe .... She said blabbering folding her hand around her chest ...
Making a cute angry pout ...where as he sat down near the balcony ... The room he was staying in was quite spacious with having a king sized chair and a table on the side .... And a carpet infront of the big window ...
Maine baat nai karni ... She yells ... Cutely trying to take his attention but he chuckles making her pout her eyes welled up ...as gets down the bed .. comes near him ... And sat down beside him ...
He knows that she won't stay away from him in her drunken state ...but he even didn't wanted any kind of misunderstanding between them in the morning so thought to stay away ...though ur was equally painful for him too ...
Staying away from her isn't easy ....
She huffs ... Holding his arm rightfully turning him ...
He chuckles with his eyes teared up ....
She instantly panicked looking at his teary eyes ...
Bebu ... She whispered her voice broke ...she made her sidharth cry ... her heart broke ...
Sorry ...she whispered absent mindedly....it doesn't matter if she is at mistake or not but If he had tears in his eyes even if she is present ...then she won't take his tears...
Her own tears fell down ...as felt that she is the reason behind his tears ...
He nodded his head in no cupping her face pulling her in his embrace ...
She leans in his embrace ... Keeping her head over his heart ... Sobs as she felt home ... Suddenly ... Her heart started to become heavy ...
Her mind rolled back in her past ... The lights suddenly went of as she could see him in the moonlight ...
She held her hand up high ... And touched his face ...
"Chand ... She whispered
Aap sachi yaha ho ? ...apne naaz ke pass ? ... She whispered ...
Pata hai ... Main kitna wait karti hu apka ... Aapse Milne ka ... Par meri kismat main aap nai ho ... Koi bhi nahi hai ... Na mumma ... Na papa ... Meri dadi ne mujhse sabcl cheen liya Chand ...
Sab kuch cheen liya ... Wo ... Meko ... Manhus ... Reason mumma papa ki accident ka ... Main ... Main bad luck nai hu na ? ...
Chaand ... Aap mile na mujhe zindagi main ...wo ek haseen khwab tha mere liye ... Par ... Par kehte hai na ... Khwab se. ..jaagna hi padta hai .... Mai ...Haqeeqat main aayi .. main samajh nai payi ... Ke ke ...shayad main .... Main aapko deserve nahi karti ... Haina Chand ? ...
Aap ki naaz ... Wo ... Trustworthy nai hai ... Pas Chand kasam lage apki ... Apna pura bachpan sirf aapka intzaar Kiya hai ...
Apni puri life sirf apse hi pyaar kiya hai ... Aapki Kasam ... Aapki Kasam lage. ..agar kisi or ki taraf kabhi aankh utha kar bhi dekha ho ...
Kyuki jab pehli baar in nazro ko aapka deedar hua ... Tabse ... Naaz sirf aapki hi hai ...
Maybe shayad i wasn't capable enough to remove your pain ... Par sidharth aapke alawa kabhi kisi se itna pyaar nai kiya ...
Pata hai ... Jab mujhe mummaa papa adopt karne aate the na ? ... Main. Kitni khush thi ... Meko tha .... Mere bhi parents honge ... Myjge bhi wo pyaar denge ...baki sare bacho ki tarah ...she stammers
Sinthi Tayi ne bohot pyaar diya ...par ... Mumma papa jab lekar gye toh unhone bhi paraya kar diya ....chorh diya mujhe ...
Ek baar ye bhi dekhna zaruri ni samjha ke unki bachi ko ... Wo ..sab ...kaise treat karte the ..
Papa mumma ke pass shefali di thi na ! Phir unhone .. mujhe kyu chuna ?
Mujhe kyu choda ? .. dadi ...wo ... Mujhe maar diya unhone ... Wo main ... Main aisi hai thi ? ...sidharth main aisi kabhi nai thi ...
Dari sehmi ... Wo unhone mujhe zinda maar Diya ... Khatam kar diya ...
Marne se pehle bhi ... Mujhe ... Bola. ...
Ke main ... Manhus ... Tears fell down ...she just wanted to let out the pain of years to him ... She just wanted to get rid of the pain ... She just wanted to ...
That even if this is the last time if her life she just wanted to get free of the pain ...
Chand ....shr whispered looking at him with her innocent doe eyes as If there is a little girl ...
Main ...trust ke layak nai hu? ... bolo .... Bolo Chand. .. kuch toh bolo ....she cried as he wasn't even in the condition to speak one word he was just feeling her pain ...once again ... Imagining the suffering she have gone through her whole life. ...
His heart welled up immensely with the pain ... .
Sorry ... He whispered... His own tears rolled down so painfully making her heart bleed ...
(My hands are literally shivering ... With eyes welled up ... I am sorry for writing this much 💔)
Sorry ... Kya karu main apke sorry ka. ..bolo ... Bolo kya karu aapke sorry ka ? ... She hits his chest with her small fists ... Crying and sobbing like a baby ...
Aapne kaha ke main apke pyaar kr layak nai hu ... Dadi ne kaha main kisi ke layak nai hu ...
Kyu ? ... Main bhi toh insaan hu ? ... Kyu phir main kisi ke layak nai ? ... Bolo ...
Main cursed hu ? ... Main ... Main manhus hu na ? ...
Nai ...he whispered holding her keeping her head on his chest ...
Kabhi nhi ... Tum manhus nai ho ... Tumhara sidharth hai ... Wo hai manhus ... Uski insecurities itni jyada thi ke tumhe apne pass rakhne ke chakkar main ... Wo tumhe kho baitha. ..
Naaz nai manhus. ..sidharth hai ....wo .... Wo ...bachpan se ...aisa hi hai ... Wo ...acha nai hai wo ... Naaz ... Main dar gya tha ...he sobs breaking her heart ...
Aisa nai hai tum par bharosa nai tha ...par ... Shayad khud par itna trust nai tha ke main tumhare kaabil ban saku ...
Tumhe deserve kar saku ... He sobs ...
Nai ...she whispered.
Nai ro pls. ...she sobs on herself ... Keeps her head on his heart .... Holding him ....while he leans his head back holding her in his arms ...
The night felt like the eternity to him .... because she fell into the deep slumbler in his arms ....
Where as he was wide awake .. processing her every scar ... Holding her more tightly in his embrace ... He felt scared of what reaction will be when she wake up ... But right he just wanted to live in the moment
By just keeping his head on her shoulder ...he cried the whole night for her ... Yet his silent sobs were the savior to his loud screams ...
It's deeply painful and heartbreaking ...
................
I am sitting in the darkness all blank when suddenly I felt the urge to write this ...
Idk how it is but it definitely exhausted me mentally maybe because I emptied up my emotions in this ...
I hope you all felt it while reading ... 💔