'Anna.. Barath turned to look at Chandru who called him from outside the door, he wiped his tears quickly and beckoned him to come inside, 'Enna da?'
' Athu.. ava saapudla.. saaptu thoonga soldringla?' Chandru's voice came out in hushed whispers with a lot of hesitation. Barath nodded slowly, his voice still devoid of any emotion,
'Papa… oru vaai saaptu thoongriya? ' he patted her cheek softly and she mumbled a no,
Chandru's hands extended to touch her arm but he couldn't bring himself to , his eyes fell on her tired visage and teared up, unable to fathom the emotions that he felt that moment,
She was his sister, his twin. How was he even ignorant to this very fact?
'Sash..sasha..' he slowly called her, sitting near her legs, watching her move in Barath's lap,
It was him who called her Sasha first back when they were kids and he couldn't get her name right in his mouth. Soon, it became her nickname among everyone in the family,
' Please.. saaptu thoongu.. please ma' he told her, unable to finish his sentences.
It hurt him that they had grown so distant, so distant that talking to her felt so foreign that moment. It made him realize that they'd drifted apart from each other despite being so closely associated and he hated himself for the same.
Does that mean she doesn't love him anymore?
'Energy illa' she mumbled,still smuggling to Barath and Chandru couldn't help but ask,
'Na.. na ooti vidren.. please..saapdu.. ' his shivering palms fell on her toes as he pressed them softly, offering her some sort of comfort even though he knew that he had hurt her enough,
The siblings soon sat in the living room as Chandru opened the parcel that he had brought along with him. He slowly sat near Srishti to her left and extended a mouthful of chapati dipped in gravy,
He didn't even know her food preferences.
Barath looked at his sister and touched her shoulder, gesturing her to face Chandru 's extended hands
Srishti wordlessly opened her mouth , she didn't want to meet his eyes. A part of her heart ached to see her brother in pain, but she was already in pieces trying to mend herself and caring for his feelings felt much too overwhelming,
Srishti couldn't help it, her tiny fingers collecting a piece of chapati as she dipped it in butter before extending it to him. Chandru's eyes watered realizing what she had done,
He doesn't like spice at all.
Srishti fed Barath next and they fed her. The siblings finished their dinner with each other for the first time in all these years. And after dinner, Chandru came to see her again, bringing her cold cardamom milk ,which he remembered to be her favorite from childhood.
Srishti drank it and went to bed, not a word was said. Her body beguiled her needing rest as she fell into a deep slumber.
Unaware of the guilty palms that pressed her legs all night without a wink of sleep.
Priyanka had called her the next morning and was immensely worried, but Srishti consoled her and told her that she was too numb to feel anything and assured her that she'll be okay soon. Priyanka understood that she indeed needed the space when her best friend refused to see her.
Srishti had stayed in her room for the most of her time, reading poems all day, eating considerably less amount of food. She had kept everyone at bay, silence was so comforting and she indulges herself in it fully,
She needed the time, she needed space to recuperate herself, to apologize for being vulnerable enough whenever she looked at her bruised self in the mirror. The girl in front of her didn't deserve it, she cried and cried and cried until all the guilt in her heart would somehow subside on its own,
Dinesh's touch on her felt like a lingering evidence of all the disgust she felt. Srishti ached for a certain pair of hands to touch and love her, take all the pain away with his loving embrace, combust her senses entirely so that the only thing she remembered was his name.
Two days passed and Srishti found herself returning to normalcy and when she asked Barath to accompany her to talk a walk around the place, he was more than happy to do so, relieved that his sister was getting back to normal,
Chandru looked at them from his window with pained eyes, he deserved it all, to be left alone like that.
'Papa.. anna romba bayanthuten da' Barath looped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him protectively,
Srishti sighed and didn't say anything else.
' Enakonnu illa na.. ' she murmured after a moment,
'Chandru.. Barath started to say something but Srishti interrupt him,
'Enaku yaar mayum kovam illa na.. kova padrathuku enaku energy uhm illa' she told him honestly and Barath caressed her head,
'He has hurt your feelings papa.. ne avana manikarthu un ishtam.. aana senja thappu illa nu aagidathu' Barath told her with a distant look,
' Paasam thappu sari ellathayum thaandina vishyam anna.. ' she told him, her voice didn't have the sweetness it used to,
' Hmm..' he hugged her, astounded by her maturity, ' Adhi romba bayanthutaaru ' he told her and Srishti looked up at him,
' Avaru enna paaka varla' she whispered with disappointed eyes and Barath pulled her to him again,
'Dai papa.. maybe avaru unaku space theva padum nu nebachrikalam la? ' he reasoned and Srishti shrugged him ,
' Nalla manushan Srishti, unmela kan mun theriyaama paasam vechirkaaru.. maybe that's overwhelming for him.. ne edhum yosikaatha ' he told her, holding her hand as they walked back to their home
Srishti kept reminding herself about Barath's words as she brushed her hair again, getting ready for college felt so desperate that moment.all she cared was to see him,
'Sasha.. oh my gosh' Priyanka ran up to her and hugged her close to herself, almost knocking her off her feet. She teared up fearing the amount of pain and disgust her best friend would have felt,
'Im okay, Priyu.. nambu.. ' she patted her softly. Priyanka saw through the facade and guessed the longing behind her wandering eyes,
'Sasha… Adhiran sir nethum college ku varla.. ' she mumbled, holding her hand as she led to her class .
Srishti became restless as time passed and practically ran towards her last class. Only meeting with disappointment again as his desk was occupied by a substitute teacher who smiled politely at her. Srishti spent the rest of the class trying to focus on the module but it was all too hard.
She reluctantly made a board that said ' Class is canceled ' and pasted it outside his door before coming outside.
Her fingers pressed his contact but it went straight to voicemail making her shut her eyes in worry and panic. It had been three days since she saw him and he didn't say anything about it, she didn't know if he was alright or not.
She reached home and called his mother , she only realized how desperate she had become for him when she couldn't even wait for the call to get processed, 'Hello, Ma'am?'
'Sasha kanna.. epdi iruke da?' came her calm voice from the other side,
' Na nalla iruken.. enaku.. enaku unga help venu' she asked her without any hesitation,
' Adhi enga nu keka poriya?' her knowing voice made Srishti's heart palpitate faster,
'Ahma.. please..sollunglen'
'Adhi ku onnu illa da.. konjam dhooram thalli pona namaku oru cabin iruku.. manasu varuthama iruntha Avan anga povan..
Rendu naal munnadi kelambinan.. athuku aprm edhumae pesla avan.. antha edathula signal uhm irukaathu vera…' she explained, relief outlining her features as she was finally about to share it with someone,
' avaru enkitayum edhum sollala.. college kum varla.. na romba bayanthuten.. enna prachana nu therila.. I was worried sick' she breathed and Haritha consoled her even when she was worried herself,
'Antha cabin address tharingla , Please?' she asked Haritha again,
' Sari da.. ne ipovae kelambina sari ah irukum.. antha cabin ku pora route onnu kashtam illa aana sikram irutidum atha bayam..
En anna katna edam.. ipo Adhi mattum dha use panran…na un phone ku address message panren da thangam' she finished and Srishti sighed in relief again,
' Okay ' she mumbled,
'Safe ah drive panuven nu enaku promise pannu' Haritha asked the younger one and Srishti smiled at her concern,
' Sari ma, promise' somehow, it felt right to call her that.
She climbed down the stairs reaching the living room and saw Chandru sitting there alone, he smiled and stood up seeing her but she didn't. Although she had no hard feelings in her heart, she still needed time to come around and allow things to fall in place gradually,
'Sas- Sasha.. veliya poriya? Vaa.. na drive panren.. naane kootitu poitu vanthu vitudren' he offered her and Sasha shook her head,
'Illa.. car saavi mattum thariya please…. na sikram return panidren.. ' she asked him, Chandru's smile faded at the way she spoke to him, as if he wasn't her brother. He handed her the car keys with a nod, unable to say anything else,
'Please, Safe ah drive pannu' he called for her, standing near the door as she walked past him,
'Okay' she mumbled again.
Srishti was determined to find her man, no matter what happens.
Tbc
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