Kieran fumbled through his bag looking for his keys. The day had been long and he didn't want to think about anything anymore. If he could find his keys and get back into his apartment, he could crash.
Click, creak. The door swung open.
Kieran looked up, straight into the face of his archenemy. Patrick.
"What are you doing here?" Kieran spat, so much out of rote habit that he didn't even think before he asked.
The past few days had been the roughest in Kieran's life. He didn't think letting go of the Little Rich Girl would cause him so much pain, yet since the moment he lied by telling her the truth, his chest ached. Then, the pain grew worse, more stabbing. Kieran had his hands full trying to handle his own emotions, he didn't need Patrick butting in.
Tawny appeared at Patrick's shoulder. "He came to see you, but I told him you weren't home."
"How helpful," Kieran shot sarcastically at Tawny. To Patrick, he snapped only one word. "Leave."
His nerves had been on edge, too, the last few days. Full of guilt, regret, and self-loathing, Kieran's nerves didn't have time or energy to be patient with anyone else. Especially not Patrick.
"I can't come see my most loyal guarantor?" Patrick spat back.
Kieran leveled a glare at the man before him. "I don't have time for this. Leave."
"You never have time for anything, do you?"
"Not when it comes to you."
"I don't understand what I did so wrong for you to hate me this much."
"If you listened to that sentence, you might find the reason." Kieran took a step forward, hoping it would encourage Patrick to get out.
Patrick merely smirked. "You're even more ungrateful than your mother."
"Why should that woman be grateful to you? Did you ever do anything except use her to get ahead and blackmail her son to control her?" Kieran glowered at the man before him. "Move."
"Why should I?"
"Patrick, I swear—"
Tawny threw herself between the two men, her smile bright when she announced, "Kieran must be tired. You should come see him another day."
"Remember, like it or not, you're my son." Patrick shoved past Kieran's shoulder. "And you owe me a lot more than Tawny's debts."
Kieran closed his eyes and inhaled, hoping it would calm him but knowing he may never be calm again. Tawny's presence didn't seem to help matters, even though Kieran had made a decision to be responsible for her.
Responsibility is different than love, a smug voice in the back of his mind taunted.
Kieran drowned it out with a thousand questions regarding Patrick's visit to the apartment. Even when Kieran was behind on payments, Patrick rarely invaded Kieran's personal space. Before, it had always been to ask for a favor or because Tawny called him.
With a flutter, Kieran's eyes opened. "Tawny, did you ask him over?"
Tawny gave her lip a tug between her teeth, then turned toward the empty apartment interior. "Come in and have some water. You look like you've had a long day."
She didn't deny it, and that gave Kieran all the answers he needed. Tawny tended to think only of herself, so whatever she had summoned Patrick for, it must have benefited her in some way. Guilt emanated from every step Tawny took toward the refrigerator.
Kieran, done with life in general, stepped into the apartment and leveled his glare at her. "Why did you call him, Tawny?"
A quick scan revealed no loan papers sitting anywhere, so that likely hadn't been her purpose. Kieran kept silent, waiting for Tawny's answer because he couldn't figure out what she wanted.
Tawny snagged a water bottle from the fridge. "He's your father."
"Your point?"
Patrick may be Kieran's biological father, but that didn't mean he ever acted like a good role model. Heck, he had barely been involved in Kieran's life at all, thanks to being cut off by Kieran's mother after he betrayed her. Kieran knew better than to get into the muck and mire of that relationship.
"I mean... I should be in your family's good graces if we're together, right?"
A sour twist of Kieran's stomach almost forced wicked words from his lips. But he had chosen to take responsibility for Tawny, so he held it back. It pained him.
"Our definition of family is different." Kieran flopped onto the makeshift sofa, his fingers reaching up to rub at his temples. "Don't call him here again. I don't want to see him."
"But he's your dad. You should at least try to—"
"End of discussion, Tawny."
Once upon a time, Kieran had considered Tawny like family. Only she and Donovan had ever earned the title. But then he had led Tawny down the wrong path, because he had been momentarily mislead, too. Now, Tawny was more responsibility and burden than a family, but he couldn't abandon her. Nor could he tell her any of that.
Tawny sank down beside Kieran and held out the water bottle. "You've been acting weird lately. Are you okay? Are we okay?"
"I'm fine," Kieran lied.
Because the truth was, he hadn't been fine since he pushed Naomi Rowe out of his life. All the what-ifs and how-abouts swarmed his nightmares and haunted his waking hours. Naomi had dug deeper into Kieran's mind than anyone else ever had, and he feared he would never be able to expel her from his heart.
He just didn't know what to do about it now that he had ruined everything.