"Aww I love it Milly, it's so sweet. Thank you," I say, admiring the hand knitted baby jumper once more before hugging Milly tight.
I slowly feel the soft wool in my fingers as I trace the words "Baby Malfoy" on the jumper, smiling in fascination.
"He really will love this," I say and Milly smiles happily. "I'm glad you like it Miss."
I smile back, laying down the jumper and folding it. We sit cross legged, in front of the fireplace in an attempt to warm ourselves up.
As I place the jumper beside me, Milly notices the number on my arm, her smile fading and her eyes dimming lightly. I notice immediately, looking to her with worry, "What is it, Milly?"
"Your number..." she says, quietly. "Does it still hurt?"
I sigh, looking at the number on my arm in silence. "Well, they were hexed to bring pain to whichever witch or wizard ever received one," I say softly, a tiny throb on my skin as I speak. "But it doesn't hurt as much as before."
She nods solemnly, and I can see she is upset by my words.
"Milly?"
"Yes, Miss?"
I ponder for a moment, remembering my time in Azkaban. "Do you know the reason Lucius killed Fenrir?"
Instantly, her eyes widen, and she looks away awkwardly, avoiding my eye. "I really should not speak on such matters, Miss. and Master Malfoy was already proven innocent of-"
"Oh come on, Milly. You and I both know my husband killed that man," I say and she watches me in panic.
"But I never knew the reason why. That's what I want to know."
She coughs, turning her attention to her hands as they shake a little, her nerves getting the better of her. "My apologies, but I am forbidden to speak on this matter with you, Miss."
"Milly, I went to Azkaban for him, was marked for life, suffered in a cell for three nights all whilst carrying his child," I tell her calmly. "The least I deserve is to know why he committed such a crime."
Milly folds at my words, glancing at the pain in my eyes for a moment.
"Well, Master was... angry." She tells me, her eyes squinting as she tries to remember. "I have never seen him in such a state. He asked me to look after you and then he left so abruptly. When he returned, he was smothered in blood."
"Yes, I remember that," I say, the events of that night replaying in my mind.
"Then what happened?"
Milly takes a deep breath, shaking a little more. "All I can say is that Mr Greyback took an innocent life. And the life he took had upset a lot of people. Especially one above all, who Master Malfoy cares for a lot."
I think hard on Millys words, trying to piece together her little puzzle.
I understand that Lucius killed him because he had taken an innocent life.
But who did Fenrir kill?
"Milly, I really don't-"
Suddenly, it dawns on me.
Like a wave crashing down upon me.
"Oh my god..." I whisper, praying to god I was wrong. But when I look Milly in the eye, I have the utmost, heart wrenching feeling that I was perfectly right.
"No, it can't be. He was sick..." I recall the haunting memory of him laid in that godawful hospital, his face beaten and the look of sorrow in his eyes before they closed forever.
"H-he was hit by a deadly spell, Miss..." Milly weeps, tears falling slowly down her face. "I wished to not be the one to tell you, I begged Master for a long time that he should tell you, but he never wanted to hurt you."
I nod slowly, my calm demeanour crashing down all of a sudden as I burst into tears, sobbing my heart out. I hold my head in my hands, Milly's tiny arms wrapping around me as she rests her head on my shoulder, weeping with me.
"I'm sorry, Miss," I hear her whisper, under her breath.
"I am so, so sorry..."
* * *
Silence fills the room, the only audible sound is Silas, breathing slowly and comfortably as he sleeps in his crib, without a care in the world. I watch him in peace, my hand gently rocking the crib as I stand before him, my mind so full of thoughts, and yet empty at the same time.
I'm awoken from my trance when I hear the front door swing open downstairs, announcing Lucius's arrival. I stand straight, my body jerking upwards as I rush out of the room, and into the hallway, stopping abruptly when I see him from the stairwell.
He takes off his coat and throws it aside, running his hands through his hair in exhaustion. He looks up, catching my eye and for a moment, my heart swells at the small smirk that appears on his face due to my presence.
"Sarah."
I don't say a word as I slowly descend the stairs, and I watch as his face slowly changes as I come into better view. He notices the tear stained cheeks, the bloodshot eyes. Instantly, a tinge of worry crosses his expression.
"Are you alright?" He asks, but still, I don't answer.
"Sarah, are you okay? Is it Silas? Is he-"
"Silas is fine," I say quietly as I stand before him, looking at him in utter sorrow. "He's fine."
"Then what is it?" He asks again, looking down at me in panic. "Are you alright?"
I don't know what takes over me, or what I was possibly thinking as I rush forward and hug him, tight. My arms around his neck and my head on his shoulder as I cry softly, the memories flooding back.
Of course, at first he is shocked, going still for a moment but it only takes him a few seconds before his arms are around me too, his hands in my hair as he strokes my back comfortingly, shushing me softly as I sob.
"Shh, it's alright. I'm here..." he whispers softly, holding me a little tighter.
After a few moments, he still makes no effort to move, his arms still wrapped around me, his hands still in my hair.
"Why didn't you tell me you avenged my father?" I mumble into his neck, and I feel his body freeze for a moment. I pull back, looking him in the eye.
"Sarah..." he starts, clearly preparing to explain himself, but I stop him.
"Thank you," I say, my voice breaking.
He smiles sympathetically, stroking a loose strand of hair from my face. "Who told you?"
"It doesn't matter," I tell him. "I just... can't believe you would do that for me. For him."
Lucius watches me for a moment. "I saw what losing him did to you. There was no way Fenrir was going to get away with all that," he says, a hint of anger in his words as he talks about him.
"I'm so sorry, Lucius," I tell him, wiping my eyes and he finally lets go of me, pulling his hands away reluctantly.
"Whatever for?"
"For not being a good wife," I say, my head slowly hanging in shame. He lifts my chin with his finger, a small smirk on his face as he speaks.
"You've been a pretty good one so far."
I smile, chuckling a little at his words before leaning in to hug him once more. Instantly I melt in his arms and he holds me steadily, our bodies pressed together as we share our moment.
"Thank you," I tell him again. "Thank you..."
I breathe in his strong signature scent slowly, my eyes fluttering shut in comfort. I felt oddly normal with him.
Oddly... safe.
I pull away slowly and I know he hears my thoughts as I do so, our faces a breath width away from each other. We stare into each others eyes for a moment, before his gaze lowers to my lips, and back to my eyes, as if asking a silent question.
I nod slowly, my hands around his neck still as he leans in, softly pressing his lips to mine. I taste the lingering coffee on his tongue, infused with his strong tobacco.
I savour the taste.
I don't think as I do it. I don't think as I allow his tongue past my lips. I don't think when he pulls me in closer by my waist, wrapping his arms around me tighter.
I don't think, because if I did, I would regret it.
And I had many feelings coursing through me at this moment of time. But regret, was not one.