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Iliria and I were standing at the back entrance of the little palace, all the other healers next to us with a few heartrenders standing behind in case the survivors either caused a ruckus or there would be too many for the healers to heal.
The latter was unlikely but it was just protocol, the number of survivors for these things was slowly diminishing, most doctors did not want their prized experiments babbling their work to the enemy so they made sure they didn't.
Most either didn't survive or their brains were fried to the point of no restoration, the heartrenders and healers were a great help but the survivors who didn't want the help wished for an end instead. I was here as a peacemaker, the one to help the survivors see a familiar face, to calm them. Well, the survivors from my people did, while the prisoners from Ravka would explode and scream away from my presence thinking of me as a doctor coming to finish the job.
These Grisha were volatile and dangerous, they were the type of people that had nothing left to lose, they were pure chaos.
The other reason I was here was to get rid of any suspicion, to eliminate it. There hasn't been a sighting of another Grisha like me, but my family has come from Shu Han and has lived there for generations. Anything that could incriminate my power had to be eliminated.
The sun hung in the sky bright and illuminating, a metaphorical deity looking down on all of us as the sun summoner the world had all been waiting for, had finally arrived. Shining on us and wondering what the future would bring, currently that answer was unknown.
She had never suffered as we had, she had suffered for being half Shu in a part of Ravka that hated people like us but she had not suffered as Grisha. She had not suffered for being born with abilities she could not control and as such if the generals' plans were to be revealed to her- which they will, sooner or later the ugly truth always comes to the surface- she would flee in horror.
She will see only the suffering of our oppressors; she won't see what we all saw. She is still young and naive, hopeful, and trusting of people but people aren't always trustworthy. History had all but sealed their fate, we were slow to learn but we learned... or some of us did.
Some Grisha don't ever remember the pain because they've been coddled by the little palace and its many privileges, they don't remember what it was like when we had to wonder if we'd be able to find food, or when we had to worry if we would be able to find a safe place to sleep. When we had to constantly move from one place to the other in fear of being caught.
Our world was a constant gamble on whether we would even live to see our families, friends, or partners again. They would never know the pain and it wouldn't be long before we'd have to know that pain again.
Our protection from the world rested on the shoulders of that slobbering fool of a king whose interest in us was only for our usefulness and it was only a matter of time before in their eyes our usefulness would stop.
It was easier to lose something we'd never had than lose something we've always had. These new Grisha were the youngest and most hopeful, they believe in the stories: That when the sun summoner destroyed the fold we'd all be free. These were the ones most sustainable to this pain than any of us ever would.
The Darkling worked hard for this place, for the little palace. For any ounce of freedom and relief our people could have got, just some bits of hope for a better future that we all could achieve. Yet if we all don't do what needs to be done, if we don't pay the price for our freedom, history will repeat and we'll go back to the days of suffering faster than the general had everything here built.
"Kira, do you think the mission was successful this time?" Iliria smiled wide, brushing her kefta down as she looked around waiting for the carriage.
"It's not very likely," I mumble, looking straight forward with a smile forming a thin line on my face watching as birds flew across the sky over a couple of trees out in the woods. "After a few successful runs, the Shu would do anything in their power to get rid of any evidence of their experiments before we even got to them."
"Yeah," she nodded, biting her lip. "But there's no problem being a little hopeful, right?"
Her lips quirked up a bit as she looked up at me from behind her long lashes with a pouting look on her face. She looked like a kitten.
"Perhaps," I shrug, looking back towards the horizon, listening to the quiet chatter of the healers to our right. "Until hope becomes just a fantasy and reality comes to swallow you whole, then hope is useless."
I barely blink as I watch from the corner of my vision her shoulders slump. She looks down at her red kefta fiddling with the seams. Glancing at her from the side, I clear my throat as I point towards the incoming carriage slowly coming into view.
She shuffles a little before nodding to another Grisha in the distance and walking slowly over to them.
Before she can leave my side, however, I whisper. "Although reality hasn't arrived for us yet."
I hear her sudden stop and a small gasp, then a giggle rings out in the air which makes the Grisha's closest to her look over. As they do, I walk away and over to the carriage as it stops in front of the yard joining the heartrenders in their pursuit of handling the peace.
"Lia, let's go, the carriage is here." I hear a healer call out to the girl as reach the carriage doors which were about to open.
I stand on the spot. I'm guided by one of the Grisha who was on the assignment, he positions me to be beside the carriage door so that when it opens I'd be obstructed from view. This time around we were able to rescue three survivors, two of which were Ravkan so I was advised not to get too close to them as they would be in the road for recovery if they chose not to do anything drastic and the last was a small little boy from Shu. That was the one I was here to heal, and comfort.
Zhao Lixin according to the files they were able to retrieve from the labs. The two others were the most responsive, one of them being a Grisha soldier that was caught as a spy in Shu Han and brought to the facilities, they were stable enough to speak with a somewhat clear mind. While the other was a prisoner since childhood, probably caught when living in Ravka before the testers could reach them, they would be the most resistant to reason when seeing me so they were the first to exit the carriage.
They exited first, they're body completely in shock, frozen in fear they numbly moved down the steps and into the welcoming arms of Niko, another healer on the job who was going to take care of any injuries or damage, while Katya stood by for support.
Next was a Grisha agent from Shu who was caught a few years ago. I wasn't here when he was at the little palace, so he probably wouldn't recognize me as a soothing figure, even though there were plenty of Shu Grisha here. His current state is what made him more volatile, the longing for home was still fresh in his mind, a mind not yet molded and fractured like the first. That's why this time two heartrenders; Sonya and Gerion were there to escort him, joined by Iliria coming to check them out.
I stood still as they exited the carriage and carried off into the open arms of Iliria as they moved away towards the Healer's wing where they would be treated.
The carriage doors stay wide open as the last heartrender motions for me to come forward towards the entrance. The boy wasn't moving from inside, we needed to check on him before the Healers wing closed. These days it's been closing earlier than usual with the amount of Shu attacks increasing further at the border; most healers were frequently moving from the front line back to the little palace.
[Italic: Speaking Shu]
"It's okay..." I comforted him softly, crouching down at the foot of the carriage doorway. The face of a small Shu child looks back at me, his trembling body flinches at the sudden sound."We're here to help you, to heal you."
The boy slowly lifts his head from his knees where he'd be hiding, blinking a few times before realizing what language was being spoken. His head tilts to the side and he lowers his guard as he slowly moves closer to the door, not enough for me to be able to reach out towards his body but closer than he was before.
"You are... family?" The boy's tiny voice speaks out, a curious look in his eyes but his face holds a slight frown as he continues to look around his surroundings wary of any danger. "Shu Han?"
I show a little smile, chuckling at Zhao's broken speech while also trying not to frown at his age. He's too young for all of this. "Yes, we are..." I giggled at the phrase he used, tilting my head just as he had before as I pointed at his chest and then my chest, "We come from the same country, same culture, same beginning, we are family then."
"Family!" The boy squealed, nodding his head and bouncing on his seat.
"Yes, yes, family." I kept nodding back with a kind smile as I watched this little boy who had been destroyed by his own country jump in excitement over the idea of family. "And family can heal Zhao, would you like that?"
He stiffens stopping in his place by the doorway now, closer enough that I could touch him but his arm crossed in defense. "Heal?"
"Yes, I can heal you." I look deep into his dark eyes with a soft look. I reach out at the space in front of me gesturing to his body, "Make you feel better."
"Will it hurt?" He asks quietly in his worn-out brown shift, moving side to side hesitating.
"Not at all," I blink, drawing my hand back, and gripping the sides of the doorway. "It will feel like water slowly tracing your skin or maybe it won't feel like anything at all, in just a blink of an eye all the pain will be gone."
The boy giggled, nodding, and then looked into my hand as he withdrew himself from his knees.
"Do you want to walk on your own or be carried?" I asked, offering my hand again as he tentatively grabbed mine.
He held on as he looked down at the rocky grainy floor and then at his bare hurt feet. He shut his eyes tight before nodding aggressively. I gathered that he'd want to be carried instead.
"That will be something that we can fix." I smiled gesturing to the bottom of his feet and then grabbing him by the underside of his arms holding his body up as I moved him to my chest. His tiny arms wrapped around my shoulders, while his feet did the same to my back.
The child whimpered, and then stiffened when he had to wrap his arms around me but slowly as I managed to stand up and move some steps away from the carriage he relaxed; slightly. He was still super anxious and scared but he was just a kid.
"It's okay, everything will be okay from now on," I whispered in his ear as I nodded my head to the heartrender who was waiting for us to the side. He nodded after a few moments assessing the situation and deeming the child a non-threat. "We'll take care of you."
"Promise?" I hear his small voice quietly whisper behind me.
"Promise." I sigh, making my way to the healer's wing. The carriage is made up before being directed back towards the stables, the heartrender jogging to the wing while Zhao and I casually stroll over. I did not want to make any sudden or any fast movements to not startle him.
"Everything will be okay."
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The healer's wing wasn't as packed as it would have been on regular days since all the others were on the front lines but it wasn't like the place was too empty either. About forty-eight to thirty Grisha's were in the wing and half of them were patients. Thankfully most of them that were not from the rescue mission were in here for minor injuries and would be let off in just a few minutes.
It was at the time of Botkins's training sessions most of these Grisha would just go back to class, hopefully, some of them could get there later and skip the lesson but everyone knew that if you didn't have a good excuse ready, Botkin would kill you.
After the three survivors were brought in, most other Grisha dispersed. Nobody liked to be reminded of the truth; no matter how safe the Little Palace was there would always be thousands of Grisha who were being hunted down just for existing. Killed or tortured, depending on how unlucky you were.
Most of us were never quite as lucky.
Holding on to Zhao, I make a stop at a nearby table. The other survivors were being treated a few beds away with their curtains closed for privacy so I could only see their silhouettes.
Far away enough from the other survivors to not attract their attention and derail them from their treatments.
Putting Zhao down at the table I carefully close our curtain so as to not draw attention. Nobody knew how the other survivors would react to me just yet. The Heartrender to my left freezes as a scream rips out from the room, and more shouting ensues. The curtain is pulled open by another Heartrender;
"Akim we are in need of assistance, hurry." Iliria motions pulling at his arm as the situation escalates.
Hearing the pulling of bodies and the fighting off, when the patient goes haywire. In regular cases, just a few Heartrenders would have sufficed but the survivors were a Heartrender too, they had the power to fight off their attacks, which is why so many people had to come help.
The fighting startled Zhao who flinches violently, the room trembles for a second as all the water in the room starts moving. Zhao clenches his fists, shaking just as the room does. The chaos doesn't stop though, in fact, they don't even notice as the patient is held by the other Grisha Healers, while the Heartrenders try to calm them.
The commotion causes people from outside to notice the fighting. Shadows pooled from the doorway as waves of dark matter slither inside the room. I watch as the General's robes appear in the doorway, joined by Ivan at his side who runs to the commotion to help. Our eyes lock for just a moment. Black-on-black eyes digging at our minds, interlocked by something other than fate, craving a path to our hearts.
I am ripped away from the strange occurrence when Zhao squeals, reaching out and grabbing onto my arm in a tight grip trying to stop his powers, trying to cut off the noise. I flip my head to the side as I hug Zhao tightly brushing his hair with my fingers trying to calm him down.
"Shush, shush. It's alright, everything is going to be fine." I whisper into his ear as he continues to tremble, "It's just a small fight nothing bad is going to happen to you, I'm here-"
A sharp sound of glass breaking is heard within the room, which makes both of us jump. My fingers move through his black hair, as I try to calm him down but the commotion doesn't seem to cease.
"Please, stop the noise." Zhao whimpers into my chest, shaking as sobs ripped from his small body.
I had to make it stop, but the Darkling was here. Could I risk it for this boy? This small frightened boy was of my own people, the people who rejected people like us. Who experimented on us like rats, but he was one of mine and that was enough.
In an instant, the entire room froze. Fists just an inch away from frowning faces, arms pulling at arms, hands in Grisha motions stilled in place, and shadows stopping in their tracks as their master freezes with the rest. Zhao stops moving too, his fingers that are gripping my kefta are pulled away as I carefully sit him on the table, again. I carefully move around our curtain, careful to not step in any shadows along the floor. Just to be safe.
Their face is scrunched and hot, and their eyes are wide as they have their head turned with their mouth open to scream but no sound is heard. Carefully tip-toeing around this mess I reach a place close enough to his body to strike at his neck, a pressure point that rests adjacent to their Adam's apple which would knock them out instantly.
I tried to move around him again but when I turned around he was right in front of me, frozen still but there. He looked worried, he looked like he truly wanted to help... but what could shadows do to help in this situation. His powers were useless here. I jumped startled at the intrusion of my space, slipping- the only thing that I had time to grab was his cloak. I had stopped myself from falling to the floor but not enough to stop my concentration, as black eyes blinks rapidly darting over to mine as they narrow slightly before being frozen once again.
I groaned, scrunching my face and clicking my tongue, breathing deeply for a second then continuing to move through the healer's wing as I pulled Zhao back into the hug, and sudden noises started again.
A thud is heard in the room as the Heartrenders voices come out in mumbles of confusion and surprise. The land stops shaking as Zhao peeks from my chest onto the funny scene behind me, the water stops swinging as he sniffs.
"See everything is fine, just like I'd told you," I whispered to Zhao as he sniffed some more now slowly getting more tired after all that crying and overuse of his already very used powers. His breath slows, and the fingers that gripped my kefta tightly were now loosely left on my shoulders. "You're family, we protect each other."
Zhao grumbles quietly before pressing his face to my chest as I slowly bounce him swaying softly as he falls asleep in my arms.
Shadows pooled around the ceiling drawing my attention to dark tendrils moving closer but never too close to my form, close enough for me to notice but far enough to never touch my shadow. I brush my fingers over Zhao's dark black hair as I turn my head to the side.
Dark eyes are filled with nothing, an unreadable expression meets mine before being blocked from view. Red fills my vision as Ivan talks over to his general waiting for his next orders but those eyes never really leave me, as I feel them burning through the back of my head.
I look down at Zhao's small face, a serene look as he sleeps.
I sigh, "Everything is going to be just fine, I promise."
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❝I've seen that look in your eyes, It makes me go blind.❞
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