"So, what route will we be taking to Mordor?" Tauriel asked sensibly as they began their trek along the river.
Bilbo pulled out the map he had stolen from Rivendell and opened it up to show her. "We follow the River Running until we find a way to pass over it. Then from there we can walk along the edges of Mirkwood and then cut through the Brown Lands to Mordor."
"The Brown Lands are desolate and barren of any sort of life," Tauriel pointed out, arching one of her brows. "How do you expect us to get through such land with our limited supplies?"
"We'll gather what food we can along the way," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "It is what we did after we made it through Mirkwood. We can do the same now."
"You do realize that they will see us approaching the Black Gates miles away," Bard pointed out from atop Beorn. "There is nowhere to hide on those plains."
Bilbo sniffed and tossed his braids back. "Do you have a better idea? Because I certainly don't know of another way into Mordor."
"No," the Man admitted easily, "but we still have time to plan a better approach."
Tauriel nodded as she readjusted her bow on her back. "I'm more concerned with the season. Winter will make this journey harder than it could be."
"Snow is not the first concern on my mind when I plan to march into the heart of a volcano," Bilbo muttered, kicking a stray rock across the path.
Beorn snorted and shook his massive head in what seemed like agreement or scorn. He couldn't be sure. Reading the gestures of bears was not a skill of his.
"Well it is a concern to me," Tauriel retorted with a frown. "Food will be scarce, the nights will be longer, and the cold may just do us all in before we even reach the Brown Lands."
Bilbo bit his lower lip and nodded. He knew the Elf was correct in her worries. Nature was against them and they had only a limited time to get to Mordor before the worst of winter set in. He really had picked a horrible time to leave Erebor, but time never had been a friend of his to begin with.
"You could go back if you're so worried," Bard said, pushing some of his loose curls back with one hand. "We wouldn't blame you. This won't be an easy task for a maiden."
Tauriel scowled and gave the Man a glare over her shoulder. "I am not the one who needed assistance in walking, Master Bard."
The Man scowled back at the Elf and crossed his arms over his chest. "I said I didn't need the help. It was you three who insisted I get atop the fluffy horse."
Beorn huffed and deliberately jostled the Man on his back. Bard cursed and quickly grabbed hold of the bear before he could tumble off. "Blast! Don't do that, you furry menace! I can't afford more injuries."
"If you cannot handle riding, then I shudder to think how you will ever handle Mordor," Tauriel commented, her thin lips pulling back into a wicked smirk. "Perhaps we should have left you behind after all."
"I handled Azog. I think I can handle a volcano," Bard deadpanned.
The Elf shook her head and gave him a patronizing look. "Why don't you learn to handle the bear first before taking on Mordor? Once you do, we'll find you a deer to conquer. Or maybe even a rabbit or a squirrel."
"Do I need to separate you two?" Bilbo wondered out loud as Bard's glare grew darker.
Tauriel sniffed and raised her nose high into the air. "He started it. I was just finishing it."
"What you're finishing is my patience," Bard snapped back.
"This is going to be a long journey," Bilbo mourned to Beorn as Tauriel and Bard continued to bicker. "A very long journey."
In reply, Beorn licked his cheek in what he hoped was sympathy and not mockery. But considering his luck, he was betting it was the later one.
~*~
It took them until noon before they managed to find a shallow part of the river that they could cross over. Unfortunately, while the water was shallow enough to walk through, it was still deep enough to get them all sufficiently wet. Bilbo found himself waddling waist deep in it while struggling to hold his pack above his head without slipping on the slimy rocks beneath his feet. Behind him Tauriel walked close behind; the water only up to the middle of her thighs and therefore easier for her to walk through the river. Beorn trudged ahead of them with a grinning Bard, who no longer seemed to mind his mount. By the time they finally crossed the river, they were all sufficiently wet and cold.
"We should take a break here and dry our clothes," Tauriel suggested as she wrung out the bottom of her long hair. "No need to get sick so soon."
Bard nodded as he dumped the water out of his boots; the only part of him that had gotten wet. "Right. Let's save that for the Brown Lands."
Bilbo rolled his eyes but still went about gathering wood to make a fire. Tauriel joined him and soon enough they had a small but strong fire amongst the four of them. They all gathered close to it and shared a small meal of bread and hard cheese. Even Beorn returned to his normal form to join them in their lunch. It was during this brief break that Bilbo found himself forced to reveal his true history.
"So, bunny, I have a question for you," Beorn began casually as he sat bare-chested with his legs stretched out before him. The shape-shifter did not seem to feel the cold and looked completely content in his simple attire of loose trousers.
Bilbo raised his brows as he munched on his block of cheese. "Oh? About what?"
"Your spirit," the male replied, leaning back on his hands and tilting his head to the side. His long and messy hair fell into his face but Bilbo could still see his dark eyes staring at him. "It is older than it should be; as if it has lived a full life. This would be fine if your body was old but you're not. Care to explain why this is?"
Bilbo froze. "What?"
"I agree: what are you talking about?" Bard asked as he looked between the two. Beside him Tauriel remained silent; simply staring at the two with one brow raised high.
"Bilbo, you know what I speak of," Beorn chastised gently, his dark brown eyes never blinking. "Now tell us the truth: what are you?"
He stared back at the shape-shifter as his heart began to pick up speed. Never in a million years did he expect to be confronted by Beorn over his secret. How did the shape-shifter even guess? And how could he read Bilbo's soul? Not even Gandalf could do that!
"H-how?" he whispered, staring back at the giant as his hands began to shake.
Beorn shrugged his massive and scarred shoulders. "I stand with one foot in each world, bunny. Such a being can see things that others sometimes miss."
"Then... are you saying Master Baggins is not what he appears to be?" Tauriel questioned as her eyes narrowed into slits of hazel.
"I'm a Hobbit," he declared quickly, his voice rising slightly. He curled his hands into the fabric of his pants in an attempt to stop them from shaking. "I was born a simple Hobbit and I will die as one even if my soul is different-"
"I know that," Beorn reassured, cutting him off. He gave the Elf and Man a firm look before switching his gaze back to Bilbo. "You are a Hobbit. I have never doubted that. It is simply your spirit that is different."
"And why is that?" Bard asked as he pursued his lips. "Why is his soul old? Do you know the reason why, Bilbo?"
He hesitated for a moment before finally nodding in defeat. "Yes. My spirit seems so old because... because it is. This is my second time living this life."
His three companions stared at him.
"What?" Tauriel deadpanned without blinking. "Can you repeat that?"
"Yeah, I'm not following the thought process here either," Bard admitted, scratching the back of his head. "What do you mean this is your second time living? Were you reincarnated or something?"
"No. I have always been Bilbo Baggins in both lifetimes," he corrected softly as he stared down at his lap. "What I mean is that somehow, someway, I was sent back eighty years into the past to relive my life again."
The three just kept staring.
"I think you better start from the beginning," Beorn suggested softly as he stared at the Hobbit with something hard in his eyes.
Bilbo sighed but did exactly that. He told them of his first lifetime where he journeyed with the Dwarves and saved Erebor only to watch the king and his heirs die on the battlefield. He spoke of his finding of the ring, of taking it back to the Shire with him, and how he lived with it for years without knowing what it truly was. He then told them of Frodo and how he gave the ring to his nephew only to have Gandalf at last discover that it was the One Ring. He explained briefly of the war that followed, of the battles won and lost, and how in the end they won when the ring was finally destroyed for good. At the end of his tale, each of his comrades looked at him in silence until Tauriel finally broke it by jumping to her feet.
"Why did you not speak of this all earlier?" she demanded, glaring down at the Hobbit with her flashing eyes. "Do you have any idea how valuable all this information is? You have knowledge of what might possibly be the greatest war ever fought in our world and you horded it away! Why would you do that?"
"Because I did not wish to risk changing things too drastically," he replied, meeting the Elven beauty's glare straight on. "I learned the hard way back in the Misty Mountains how even the smallest change can alter things greatly."
Tauriel did not look convinced. Instead, she clenched her jaw together and pulled her shoulders back into a straight line as she continued to glare at him. "And what about the risks you took? I've seen you in battle, Master Baggins, and I've heard you speak of sacrifice more than once. You could have died for one of your comrades on that reckless journey and all your knowledge would have been lost forever."
"I know. It was a risk that I was willing to take," he admitted, raising his chin higher. "I would rather die in the place of my friends than allow them to fall again."
Bard released a strangled gasp while Tauriel's eyes practically spat fire at his confession.
"You would have sacrificed the world for three dwarves that were destined to die?" she said harshly as her mouth pulled back into a snarl. "How could you do such a thing? How could you put your desires above the fate of the entire world?! How could you be so selfish?!"
"Because I am selfish!" Bilbo snarled back as he finally rose to his feet to meet the confrontational Elf head on. At the corner of his eye, he noticed Bard and Beorn stand as well, but paid them no mind as he continued to glare at the archer before him.
"I am selfish and self-absorbed and horrible and quite possibly the worst mortal to ever walk this land," he admitted as his hands continued to shake, "but I do not regret my decision for one moment. I would still choose Thorin and the others over the world again and again if I have to!"
"Bilbo-" Bard tried to say but the Hobbit cut him off before he could begin.
"No! You do not know what it's like to live for decades wondering why someone you love died an unjust death!" he yelled, switching his glare to the two. "It wasn't fair! Thorin should not have died! None of them should have died at that battle! I spent years living with that thought and when I finally got the chance to save them, how could I not take it? How could I deny my heart's greatest desire when it was right in front of me?!"
"That does not justify your actions!" Tauriel spat, her beautiful face twisting into something harsh and unforgiving. "You put your feelings before what was right and that nearly doomed us all!"
"I could not help it!" he replied as his heart began to pick up speed. "I know it is horrible and selfish of me to pick one person over thousands, but I couldn't resist making that choice! I'm not strong enough to watch them die again! I'm not strong enough to be the hero you think I should be!"
Tauriel glared with hard and unrelenting eyes. "It does not matter if your choice came from love and devotion! It was still wrong!"
"Enough," Beorn ordered, interrupting the arguing duo by stepping between them. He pulled himself up to his full height and stared down at both with eyes that reflected a carefully controlled savagery. For the first time in a long time, Bilbo recalled that Beorn was not truly a Man no matter what face he wore.
"Enough. What's done is done and it is time to calm down," the shape-shifter growled.
Tauriel shook her head; her red locks creating a whirlwind around her face. "Not until-"
"No, sweetheart, that's enough," the male cut in, his tone softening slightly as he looked at the Elf. "Yes, Bilbo was rather stupid and selfish with his actions, but what's done is done. Arguing about who is in the right here won't change what happened. All we can do now is stop the upcoming war by ending the ring for good."
The archer continued to glare at the shape-shifter and then at Bilbo before finally turning on her heel and stalking off into the forest. The three watched her until her form disappeared among the trees and nothing could be seen of her. Once gone, Beorn and Bard turned their stares back to the Hobbit before them.
"Well. That was unexpected," commented Bard as he blinked a few times. "I've never seen an angry Elf before. I always assumed they were above petty things like temper tantrums."
"That only works when applied to Thranduil," Bilbo muttered as he collapsed back to the ground and crossed his legs. He rubbed his forehead with one hand and tried his best to make his heart stop pounding so loudly in his ears.
"I did not expect her to react that way," he admitted quietly to his remaining companions.
Bard nodded and moved to sit next to the brooding Hobbit. "Neither did I. She always seems so very composed. Not even during the battle did I see her lose control of her emotions. But then again, no one was expecting the story you just told us."
He glanced at the Man from the corner of his eye. "Do you agree with her then?"
Bard shrugged again and held his hands out helplessly. "In a way, yes, I understand her anger. You took a big gamble in keeping your secret and trying to change the fate of Durin's line. Your plans could have backfired with your death and changed things for the worse. But at the same time, I can understand why you acted the way you did. If someone gave me the chance to save my wife over the world, I can't say I wouldn't choose her."
Bilbo nodded and glanced at the shape-shifter. "And you, Beorn? What do you think now that you know the truth behind my actions?"
Beorn shrugged and laid back onto the cold earth with his arms crossed behind his head. "I'm the wrong person to ask, bunny. I hate everyone equally."
Bard scoffed. "Liar."
"No, I do," the giant insisted, bending one leg so he could rest the other on his knee. "People always make things more complicated than they have to be. It gets tiresome after awhile. That's why I avoid them and stick with my animals. Much simpler to deal with."
"But aren't you angry at me for nearly killing you all?" the Hobbit pressed, rubbing his hands together.
"See, that's what I'm talking about right there," the shape-shifter replied, rolling his eyes. "Dramatic, all of you. Why would I be mad at you? No one is dead and the war has not even started yet. Yes, you could have screwed this up to the point where we all died and Sauron took over, but you didn't do any of that. You survived, saved your crazy Dwarves, and now you're going to save the rest of the world. No reason to get mad about any of that."
He still didn't feel better. "Tauriel is furious with me."
"Our lady has a very strong moral code that she follows," Beorn pointed out as he closed his eyes. "So of course she would be angry. She is a noble and strong female, but she needs to realize not everyone is so honorable. Not everyone can put their duty above their personal feelings."
"Personally, I'm more concerned about how you got here than what you did," Bard admitted as he scratched at his unshaven jaw. "Traveling into the past is not exactly a common occurrence."
Bilbo simply shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. The only reference I have to this is a story of a Hobbit lass who relieved the day of her beloved's death over and over again until she was able to save him."
"I've never heard of such a state before either," Beorn admitted easily. "No stories, no legends, nothing. But I've also spent most of my time with horses and bees so what do I know?"
"Do you think someone else came back with you?" Bard wondered, turning to face the Hobbit at his side.
"I wondered about that too," he confided, biting his lower lip. "But no one has done anything out of the ordinary-wait, that's not true! Radagast the Brown-he's a wizard like Gandalf-he was supposed to warn us about an evil rising in Dol Guldur, but he never showed up!"
Beorn opened one eye and squinted at him. "Evil? What sort of evil?"
"The Necromancer. Well, actually, it was Sauron masquerading as a Necromancer in order to throw off any sort of suspicion of his true identity," he explained slowly as he recalled everything he could. "Gandalf later went to investigate Dol Guldur and defeated him the first time, but this time he did not give any indication that anything of that nature happened. So I don't know what happened to Radagast or the Necromancer."
"That... does not sound good," Bard said slowly, blinking his dark eyes rapidly. "If this Radagast did not show, then either he failed to notice the Necromancer; was killed before he could inform anyone; or deliberately didn't inform anyone of what he saw."
"Radagast is not the real threat here," Beorn pointed out as he sat up and braced his elbows on his knees. "It is the Necromancer. If he is not in Dol Guldur like he is meant to be, then where else would he be? Why has he not shown himself as he did according to your story?"
"Do you... do you think he came back too? With me?" Bilbo asked quietly as something cold slithered down his spine. Distantly he thought he heard the ring giggle but could not be sure if he was imagining it or not.
Beorn exchanged a grim look with Bard before nodding. "I think it's something we should keep in mind. After the story you told us, I'm willing to believe that anything could happen at this point."
He shivered and pulled his knees up to his chest. If their suspicions were correct about Sauron, then their journey suddenly looked a lot bleaker than it did a few minutes ago.
~*~
Tauriel returned some time later; stalking back into their camp silently with a frown on her lovely face. Her eyes still burned but the sharp line to her shoulders had relaxed and the crinkles around her mouth had eased up. She ignored Beorn and Bard and walked up to Bilbo and looked down at him from her impressive height.
"I'm still angry with you," she said bluntly while crossing her arms under her breasts. "But it is not in my nature to hold a grudge. So I will forgive you for your selfish and dumb choice as long as you promise never to do such a thing ever again."
"I can't promise you that," he replied because he knew himself well-enough that if the possibility came up where he had to choose someone he cared about over the world-well, sorry world, but he was picking his loved ones first. Eru could punish him for it later in the afterlife.
The Elf's eyes sparked again but she didn't immediately lunge for his throat. "Fine. Then I will keep watch and make sure you don't jeopardize the world in your selfishness."
Off on the sidelines and out of the danger zone-because he was clearly a coward-Beorn snorted. "You have your work cut out for you."
Bilbo flashed him a quick glare before turning it back to the female in front of him. "Just don't get in my way of protecting my friends."
"It's like watching a game or a battle. I feel like I should have a snack in my hands," Bard confided without lowering his voice because Lake-town fishermen weren't known for their intelligence.
"There should be some dried fruit in the bunny's pack," Beorn replied, pointing to the leather sack without looking away from the drama before him.
"I'm going to stab you both in the crotch," Tauriel promised without looking at the two Men.
"I can still leave you all behind and finish this myself," the Hobbit added as Bard hijacked his fruit.
"No you won't," Beorn said, rolling his eyes. "We'd hear you trying to sneak off with all those bells in your hair."
"And you'd worry about us too much to leave," Bard added, biting into his stolen food and signing his death sentence.
"I hate you all," he declared with feeling as he glared at the three.
Bard simply nodded and kept eating his stolen fruit. "We love you too, Bilbo."