now messaging:
kaveh hater
you
if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
kaveh hater
I'm a person, not a tree.
you
it's hypothetical 😣
kaveh hater
Hypothetically speaking, I would be a pine tree.
you
good choice my friend
kaveh hater
I'm not your friend.
you
it's okay i'm delusional too!!!
tbh if i were a tree i'd be...
... tree-mendous...
kaveh hater
Stop speaking.
you
i'm just going off on a limb here
kaveh hater
You're kidding right now.
you
I'M JUST TRYING TO BRANCH OUT!!
kaveh hater
Shut up.
you
LEAF ME ALONE!!
kaveh hater
I hope you're locked out of your phone later.
you
are you a broom? bc you swept me off my feet 😉
kaveh hater
Were you drugged?
you
not yet
kaveh hater
Are you high?
you
drugs are bad ‼️ 👎
kaveh hater
Are you drunk?
you
also no
i don't drink often
kaveh hater
Then what the hell is wrong with you?
you
NOTHING TYVM
i'm doing great rn
what did the ocean say to the shore?
kaveh hater
If you tell me another joke, I'm going to block you again.
you
nothing, it just waved
did you sea what i did there 😏
kaveh hater
I will block you.
you
don't be a beach 🫵😡
kaveh hater
This is getting out of sand.
you
DID YOU JSUT
JOIN IN????
kaveh hater
I meant hand.
you
YOURE LYING RN
LIAR LIAR OANTS ON FIRE
OH NY GODDDDD
i knew you were obsessed with me 🥰
kaveh hater
I'm obsessed with the fact that you don't seem to shut up.
you
I DONT SHUT UP
I GROW UP!
AND WHEN I LOOK AT YOU...
I THROW UP 🤢🤢🤢🤢
kaveh hater
You're vile. Disgusting. Revolting. Sickening. Repellent. Horrid. Abominable. Loathsome. Obscene. Displeasing. Foul. Obnoxious. Rotten.
You need to be checked in by the school's resource officers to be emitted into the psych ward.
you
awww you're the absolute sweetest thing i've ever met 🥰🥰🥰
kaveh hater
Deranged, is what you are.
you
yes and your point?
kaveh hater
My point is that you need serious mental help.
you
you can't catch me copper 😈
kaveh hater
I didn't want to catch you.
you
you caught my heart 😉
me otw to your place
kaveh hater
Now what is that.
you
me on a motorcycle
duh 🙄🙄🙄🙄
kaveh hater
That is not you on a motorcycle.
you
and how would you know MISTER
you've never seen what i look like tyvm
unless...
kaveh hater
Unless what?
Do you think I'm a crazed stalker?
you
your words not mine 🙈
kaveh hater
This isn't some messed-up romance novel.
you
I WASNT THINKING ABT THAT ACTUALLY
i'm not that predictable 🙄
kaveh hater
I would like to vouch otherwise.
you
you're being a bit of a beach rn
this convo would go a lot more swimmingly if you weren't always so crabby 🦀
kaveh hater
Oh my god.
you
🙈🙈🙈
kaveh hater
I'm ignoring you until you've realized your mistakes.
you
☹️
that's not nice
cum back
ehe cum
i promise i'm in university and not a prepubescent preteen boy who doesn't even know how to beat his own meat
kaveh hater
Your descriptions of meaningless scenarios are too specific.
you
i'm a creative writing major for a reason 🙈
kaveh hater
That explains a lot, actually.
you
HEY NOW
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN
kaveh hater
You write fanfiction.
you
😨
you hang out with kaveh too much
i find it tree-mendously upsetting that you think of me in such a manner ☹️
kaveh hater
Oh
Sorry.
you
nvm don't apologize that's weird
kaveh hater
I was being sarcastic.
you
CHOKE ON A 14 INCH PP THAT HAS POLKA DOTS AND GLITTER
kaveh hater
I don't swing that way.
you
not yet
i just know you & kaveh get frisky when alone
kaveh hater
Strike 3.
you
me when i get another strike
kaveh hater
I highly recommend seeking therapy.
Obviously your boyfriend doesn't help you enough.
you
STOP THAT RN
he has his own issues to worry about 🙈
more than me tbh 🙈
kaveh hater
A match made in hell.
you
KYS
kaveh hater
?
you
keep yourself safe! ☺️
kaveh hater
Oh okay.
you
☺️☺️☺️☺️
what do you major, mr mystery
kaveh hater
None ya.
you
NUNYA BUSINESS 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
kaveh hater
Your emojis hurt me emotionally and psychologically.
you
your lack of emojis hurt me emotionally and psychologically
and physically
and mentally
and spiritually
and your momly
kaveh hater
Leave my mom out of this.
you
should've told me that last night when we fucked 😂😂😂
kaveh hater
Archons give me strength. Your jokes are worse than Cyno's.
you
but you joined in earlier ☹️
kaveh hater
It was a simple mistake.
you
that's what your mom said about you 🦅🦅🦅🦅‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥
kaveh hater
I'm leaving to go study.
Bye.
you
so studious!
you were valedictorian in your high school class weren't you
kaveh hater
I was actually.
you
OHOHO IM SO SMART
SO INTELLECTUAL
kaveh hater
Stop using higher-vocabulary words to sound smarter.
you
stop seeing thru me you pussy-farting-turnip
kaveh hater
Lol. Bye.
you
DIDNYOH JSF
USE LOL??!?!?'cd
you really are an old man...
seen.
• • •
you groaned, slouching in your chair. even if you were suppose to be studying, you only wanted to talk to your friends. but then again, you never came to the library to just study.
the library was your get-away place. none of your friends ever went here (either because they'd always get kicked out or they preferred studying at coffee shops), and no one you knew personally ever went here. it was always the same few students here regularly, or the standard groups working on projects.
you always tell people you're going to study, but never actually do so unless you're with others. it was a weird habit of yours; unable to get anything done unless you're with others.
so here you were, slouched in a chair at a table in the corner, laptop untouched. you glared at your laptop, refusing to open it. just because you have a test tomorrow doesn't mean you'll actually study for it.
you sighed, sitting up and going back onto your phone.
now messaging:
loverboy <3
you
did yk that you're tree-mendously beautiful
did you catch leaf as to what i did there?
i don't mean to become sappy
but i'm simply trying to branch out to know when we can meet up again 🙈
loverboy <3
y/n i'm busy rn
you
you're always busy tho
i just want to get to the root of this issue as to why we haven't been coupling like we used to
loverboy <3
another time? i'm in class rn
you
you don't have classes today tho?
this is an in-tree-guing new schedule change, babe
loverboy <3
it's extra classes to help me study
also stop with the tree puns
you
☹️
yk i'm always down to help you study, you've known that
loverboy <3
why are u starting this shit rn?
i told u i'm busy
you
what?? i'm not starting anything 😭
loverboy <3
yet u are
you
can't a girlfriend text her boyfriend? or are you too busy to give your girlfriend a simple text to know you're still thinking about her?
loverboy <3
wtv y/n
we can talk about this later
bye
you
jesus kuni we can't keep doing this kind of thing
let's meet up this weekend at your apartment or something
unless you're too busy this weekend, then lets call tonight to talk this through
we can't keep leaving this kind of thing open-ended
delivered.
• • •
this was why you went to the library.
as much as you loved your boyfriend, moments like this made you want to runaway into the woods and become a peaceful little cottagecore girl who wants to live out her snow white dreams.
you hated leaving things unsaid, but he loved keeping everything unsaid. it was always your guys' achilles heel in the relationship: everything was left unsaid.
perhaps it was more peaceful to keep things that way; is what you want to tell yourself. it always eats you alive afterwards, keeping you awake at night to stare at your ceiling and wonder, could i have done something?
suddenly, you slammed your head down on the table in front of you. thankfully, no one saw you to question you. immediately after, you picked your head up and sighed heavily.
you were sick of being tree-ted this way.
your phone vibrated in your hand. you immediately checked the notification, and let out a shaky sigh.
• • •
loverboy <3
yea i'll call u tn around 9 ish
ttyl
• • •
wonderful.