"For the Olympian's sake, what the hell happened to you?" Hindi ko na alam kung pang-ilang tanong na niya iyan sa akin. Kanina pa kaming nakauwi but I remained silent. I just sat down on the mattress and browse the Engineer's profile.
"Kanina ka pang tingin nang tingin sa Engineer na iyan. Akala ko ba ay hindi ka interesado? Anong nangyari?" Pagpapatuloy pa niya ngunit kagaya kanina, hindi pa rin ako tumugon.
"Adelyne Haven Galleza. Kinakausap ka," sambit pa niya at hinanggit ang magazine na hawak ko. Siya ang tumingin noon at nanlaki ang mga mata niya. Tsaka ko lamang napagtantong nakabukas ang magazine sa page na topless ang enhinyero.
"Oh my fucking god, Adelyne! Don't tell me na you're fantazising him? Kunsabagay, gwapo naman siya at maganda ang katawan," humagikhik si Yrvi. Muli kong kinuha sa kaniya ang magazine at inilapag na ito sa side table.
"I'm not fantazising him and please stop calling me by my full name!" I pushed her towards the door and bid my goodnight. I even heard her screaming but I locked the door already.
Napagpasyahan kong ibabad na muna uli ang sarili sa jacuzzi. Habang nandoon ay tinitignan ko ang socials ni Engr. Jimenez. Kinabahan pa ako dahil nakaprivate ang Facebook account niya. Pero naka-attach sa profile ang Instagram at Twitter niya kaya naman iyon ang kinalikot ko.
@hexjimenez_ on instagram. Mayroon siyang 11 posts and ang dami niyang followers! Ngunit ang followings niya ay nasa mahigit twenty lamang. Mabuti na lamang at hindi nakaprivate ang account niya so I am able to browse his posts.
Tatlo lamang ang solo pictures niya at nasa iisang post lamang iyon. Ang natitira ay kuha sa bar, work, at kitchen. Ngunit hindi ang nasa pinned post. It was a picture taken at Starbucks. Mayroong dalawang paperbag ng Uniqlo sa upuan na katapat at isang cup ng coffee sa lamesa. Kapansin pansin din ang babae sa background, mukhang isang lamesa ang layo sa kaniya.
It has a caption "seeing your smile and hearing your laugh is a different kind of therapy."
Awit, may gf na ata HAHA.
Isinunod ko naman ang twitter niya.
@jmnzheli
Kagaya sa instagram ay nasa mahigit twenty lamang din ang followings ngunit inuulan ito ng followers. Mayroon siyang less than eighty tweets at narating ko ang dulo noon. Halos Engineer jokes at tungkol sa sports ang nandoon. Napasinghap ako nang makita ang na niretweet niya ang picture kung saan nakalista ang Top 10 sa BAR Exam.
6th. Adelyne Haven Galleza.
"Well deserved, Prosecutor. Congrats!"
Hindi ko napigilan ang sumigaw at tapusin ang pagbababad ko sa jacuzzi. I did my night routine and nagmamadaling nahiga sa malambot na higaan. Kinuha ko ang phone ko para magset ng alarm.
Everything was fine until i 'accidentally' hit the follow button of his twitter account. I muttured a lot of OMGs while I am so afraid to touch my phone. When I finally got the courage to cancel it, a notification popped up on the screen.
@jmnzheli followed you back.
OH. MY. GOD.
Pinatay ko ang cellphone at nagtalukbong ng comforter. Naiiyak ako sa kahihiyan.
Helios Edric was my internet friend. I used to call him Heli kasi iyon ang sinabi niya sa aking pangalan niya. We met in RP one day in July. That time is still so clear in my mind. He asked me if he can be my friend and I said yes. We got so close and I learned a lot from him.
He even helped me survive my darkest days. He helped me stop my bad habits and refrain from doing it. His stories always lit up my day back then. And I fell in love with him without even knowing his face.
On the other side, alam niya ang lahat sa akin. Kung ano ang buo kong pangalan, kung ano ang hitsura ko at maging ang tirahan. He knows about my friends and the little secrets that I have. I am completely transparent to him but he's not. Hindi naman ako nagreklamo dahil choice ko naman ang ipakilala nang buo ang sarili ko at hindi ko siya sinisi na hindi niya kayang gawin iyon sa akin.
Sapat na sa akin ang kaibigan ko siya. O maaaring hindi.
"Hi, pwedeng makipagkaibigan?" Pagbasa ko sa mensaheng natanggap ko. Napakunot ang noo ko. It is a message from an role play account with a guy's name and profile in it. Wala naman akong gawain kaya nireplyan ko ito.
"Sure. Pero inactive ako sa account na 'to," pag-amin ko. Kakatapos lamang ng graduation ko sa junior highschool noong isang linggo kaya naman may mas maraming oras ako para lumandi.
That happened on the third week of the month of July. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko nang magsimula na naman ang flashback and relapse sessions ko.
Is it really possible to fell in love with someone you've never met? Is is really possible to end a relationship that you haven't started yet? How could I cut ties with him when I do not know where these ties were attached?
Napahilot ako sa sintido sa dami ng isipin. Sa huli ay naisipan ko na lamang bumangon at kuhanan ng litrato ang Arctic Monkeys tickets na gagamitin ko bukas. Dalawa ito para sana kasama si Yrvi but she said she'll visit a friend here. VVIP pa naman iyon! I posted it on my instagram story.
"what am i gonna do with the extra tix haha fuck you @https.yrvi:)."
Ilang sandali pa akong nagscroll hanggang sa may bago na namang follow notification. Hindi na bago ang may mag-follow sa akin nang ganitong oras but this time, iba 'to.
@hexjimenez_ started following you.
HALA! Finollow ako ni Engineer. Napasabunot ako sa hindi malamang nararamdaman. Kinikilig ako na kinakabahan na nawiwindang na natatakot na kinikilig ulit. Oh my gosh. Hindi pa ako nakakaget-over ay may bago na namang notification galing sa kaniya.
@hexjimenez_:
I'll triple the price but it will be with a date with you. Is that fine?
Hoy hala, gago alam ko namang maganda ako pero bakit naman ganito? I've been liking him for more than ten years tapos ganito?! I don't know what to reply to him so I just stared at his message for about five minutes. Until he messaged me again.
@hexjimenez_:
Oh, sorry. I'll pay five times. You're a high paid model and lawyer. How stupid of me to think that a date with you is that cheap. I'm sorry.
I replied.
@its.loveli:
OMG NO. You don't have to pay, Engineer. I'll just give you the concert's ticket tomorrow:).
@hexjimenez_:
What about the date?
@its.loveli:
idk, i'll think about it. see u tom.
Sa sobrang kaba ay napaturn off na lamang ako ng phone. What the hell was that? Am I really gonna meet him na? Oh my gosh. Isang malakas na tili ang pinakawalan ko bago muling binalot ang sarili sa comforter.
"That ex-bf of yours is a jerk," pinal na tugon niya matapos kong ikwento ang naging relasyon ko sa huling ex boyfriend ko. I never told to anyone about the real reason why I broke up with him but with this guy, I just felt safe so I told him everything.
Nakipaghiwalay ako dahil nagkaroon ng cheating issues. Noong nag-away kami, he talked to other girl for comfort at lumipas ang ilang buwan ay tsaka ko lamang iyon nalaman. I felt betrayed and the past cheating issues from my dad and him piled up. Until I couldn't take it and ended everything with him. Week later, mukhang nagkakamabutihan na sila ng isa ko pang internet friend and they ended up in a romantic relationship.
Hindi ako hinusgahan ni Xav. That's what I used to call him because that's his name in that role play account. For the first time in so long, I felt heard. I felt free to show my emotions, my anger, my pain, my sufferings. That was the moment that I knew, this one will be different.
"Oh, just few barangays away lang pala e," wala sa sarili kong sabi. Ang lapit pala niya sa akin. Pero pakiramdam ko napakalayo niya. Napakahirap niyang abutin.
He's like a man straight from the book that I've read. The man that I've been looking for. He's smart, handsome, tall, has a sense of responsibilities and a good sense of humor. He's also family and goal oriented. He plays volleyball, chess and badminton. He's good at swimming and best at taekwondo. He's both academically and street smart. And he's rich. Student leader din at consistent honor student. He excels on everything.
Na siya namang kabaligtaran ko. Hindi kami mayaman back then, sakto lamang. Hindi rin kagandahan. Matalino pero kinakailangan pang magpakalunod talaga para sa mataas na marka. Mabilis ding mapagod kaya hindi sporty though I know how to play badminton and have a little knowledge on chess. I can't swim at lalo na ang taekwondo.
Malayong-malayo ang distansya naming dalawa kaya naman hindi ko pinursue ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya.
But now that he's at the same city with me, and I am successful now too. What am I gonna do?