Sleeping Tiger
chapter xi
warnings: eating disorders
THE SUMMER CAME faster than Layne could imagine. There was a certain hunger that came with the waves, the salt air, the bicycle bells and the never-ending hours at the marina filling the gaps between her grueling hours at home, spending time with Rafe, and surfing. Tourons started to flood the streets more and more, their toothy grins gripping melting ice cream cones, the obnoxious honorary-kooks that drove brand new Jeeps with the roof and doors off blasting music as they soaked in the OBX sun and smell that Layne had grown to hate. (Or maybe she just had a love-hate relationship with the island at this point.)
As much as she loved summer, she hated pretty much everything else that came with it. The tourists that flooded the surf shop, the people setting up large camps on the beach, the annoying fraternities that rented boats and houses for the summer and reeked of weed of beer. They would cat call her from the docks and stumble off the boat with other touron, probably sorority girls and ask her if she wanted to join them. Sometimes she was tempted to, but got scared after realizing that almost every sweaty, gross frat guy looked too much like Rafe.
Layne's mom had her on a meal plan for the summer ever since she noticed her losing more and more weight. Ever since Rafe had told Layne that he was proud of her for staying slim for him, she had restricted her eating even more. Sometimes she thought that her need to be in control of everything, including what to eat and what not to eat, would stop once they officially started dating, but she noticed that it just got worse. Layne consistently felt the need to give into whatever fucked up mind games Rafe was playing, and her weight was one of them. She thought maybe he felt the need to control her, too—in fact, she knew he did. She knew he liked knowing he had that much power over her. He would eat her food that she didn't finish—he would stop her from eating too much. In that way, he was there for her. Maybe.
Rory told her that she needed to eat more, but it just went through one ear and out the other. Layne wasn't sure why she was so scared of certain foods. Bagels, pasta, pancakes. Maybe it was their color, bland and similar, and why she thought the minute she digested one calorie of it it would make her tip over the scale. There were a lot of maybe's running through her head every bite she took of something, every time she spat it out discreetly in the bathroom. Before she started dating Rafe, she would fill her plate and eat half of it. Now she just played with her food, licked some of it, and pushed it aside for someone else to finish.
Layne loved the summer, but she hated seeing everyone's bodies so openly. It made her self conscious of her pale skin and the bruises that were littered everywhere from nothing in particular. She thought maybe she had developed anemia, but every time she went to the doctors to take blood, nothing ever came back. In fact, anytime she went to the doctors, they ended up finding out that nothing was wrong. Layne consistently thought something was wrong with her.
Ultimately, things had been going good with Rafe ever since the night at his house. Layne had learn to cherish their good patches when they happened, because she knew they weren't going to last long. It was almost like not being able to enjoy the sunshine when you knew a storm was looming overhead. As much as he was being delicate, and tender, she knew there was a sleeping tiger in his chest that would wake up with ferocious anger any minute, any day. He could change like the flip of a switch.
Layne made sure to pack her surf board and gear into her car so that after her shift ended at the marina, she could go catch some waves. She preferred surfing during the evenings instead of the early mornings—although there was a higher chance of their being more teenagers in the water, and the beach was still littered with people who soaked in the sun until late, the waves were always the best. She made it a routine once the weather got unbearably hot to end her days in the water. It was always warmer then, too.
She turned up Third World on her radio and watched the Figure Eight disappear in her rearview as she head towards the south side of the island. There would be less tourons on those beaches, and she knew her mom would have a heart attack if she checked her phone location and saw she was on Figure Eight beaches. Rory and Kurt had both been very quiet ever since Layne's meltdown the other week, when she was a sobbing mess on the floor about how much she loved Rafe. Layne thought about how embarrassed she would be if Rafe had been there to see it happen, to see her a disgusting heap of sorrow on the ground, acting like she needed him to breathe. It made her sick to her stomach to think about.
As she had predicted, the Cut beaches were deprived of any tourons, but still had a few surfers out in the waves. Most of the kids she knew, as they always surfed with her since they were kids, but this one boy in particular who was on his lonesome in the waves she didn't recognize. He had shaggy black hair that seemed to be cut in a semi-mullet and was pretty built. Layne felt guilty for checking out the ripples of his biceps in his wet suit, and pulled at the skin on her inner elbow before securing her board in the sand.
She noticed him looking at her, as she was the only person on the beach in this particular area, and Layne suddenly felt self conscious. She hugged her arms close to her chest when she tossed her t-shirt to the side, and hid behind her board when putting on her rash guard. She lathered up sunscreen on her legs and face despite the sun going down, because Rory had instilled the fear of sun poisoning in her brain from an early age—pretty much ever since she started surfing.
When she rounded her board to apply the wax, she noticed the boy in the water still looking at her, until another blonde boy came paddling up to them and they started talking like old friends. Layne now knew to avoid both of them. You were never really supposed to surf with strangers—or alone—but Layne considered herself a bit of a seasoned surfer. She could survive.
She tied her band around her ankle before picking up her board and jogging towards the water. It took a moment to get used to the temperature before she laid down on the board, diving under a wave.
The water was relatively rough, and she felt herself a bit unstable on her board. Layne was calm by herself—but it also gave her more time and quiet to beat herself up when she would fall or miss a wave. The tide was pretty bad, and she caught herself drifting further and further away from shore, to the point where she could hardly make out the faces of the boys she had seen earlier. They seemed to be drifting with her, however, and she kept catching them looking at her, so she'd paddle further away. It wasn't that she was scared of them—they looked harmless enough—but Rafe had enough eyes all over the island. She felt like he was always peeking over her shoulder. Layne didn't want to know what Rafe would do if he caught her conversing with two boys in her swimsuit.
"Hey!" one of them yelled out—the one that the scruffy beard and shaggy hair. The two of them were paddling towards her. She felt nervous, smiling small, but she knew they couldn't see her face, and probably thought she was ignoring them. Maybe she should be ignoring them, but Layne was too nice. She just let the waves carry her away, diving under another one until she was just straddling her board.
"Don't run away from us yet." he spoke again, this time with a grin on his face, and Layne could actually make out his features, same with his friend. When they got closer, they both sat on their boards, mirroring her.
"We saw you shredding." the blonde one chirped up, and Layne couldn't help but laugh. "Uh—I wouldn't really call it that."
The black-haired one cracked a toothy grin, and Layne wanted to laugh at how his ears poked so far out from his head. He was still attractive, though, and so was the blonde one. Layne had focused on Rafe for so long she had partly forgotten how to find another man attractive. "You're pretty good." he seemed like he meant it as a compliment, but it just sounded condescending. Or maybe Layne always assumed that someone was being mean to her.
"Thanks?" she furrowed her eyebrows, looking away and readjusting herself on her board. He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head like a wet dog, and looked at his friend and then back at Layne. "We're so rude. I'm Matty. This is my friend AJ." he gestured to the blonde boy, who smiled at her. Layne genuinely couldn't tell if these two were hitting on her or actually trying to be nice.
"Layne." she smiled again, picking at her thumb nail. Matty chuckled. "Layne, like from—"
"Alice in Chains, yeah." she interrupted him, given the fact that she got that same exact reaction from nearly every boy she gave her name to. Most of them were shocked that she knew the band, and others raved about how cool her name was. She never though much of it.
"Sick." AJ grinned, and the three of them watched an upcoming wave and debated whether to ride it or not. Layne didn't feel uncomfortable, if anything she felt flattered and slightly embarrassed that she didn't even know how to speak to boys anymore. The only one she ever had to worry about was Rafe—she didn't want anyone else. Even in college, the few boys she slept with were the ones who did all the talking. These two looked as though they were consistently waiting for her to say something first.
"You guys from here? I've never seen you before." she asked, after bobbing over a dud of a wave. They laughed again. Layne felt like they were laughing at her.
"Uh—not exactly. We live here in the summer, that's it." Matty looked right through her and Layne still felt very self conscious. "So you're kooks." she joked, although she was pretty serious. They looked visibly offended. "Jesus, Layne, is that really what you think of us?" Matty kid, holding a hand to his heart.
"My dad lives in the Cut. I've been coming here with AJ every summer since we were like—nine." he shook his head, and Layne was trying to decipher whether they were related or not. "So you guys are brothers?"
"You ask a lot of questions."
"OK, well...you guys are two randos coming up to a girl in the water. I think I can be a little skeptical."
Matty held up his hands in defense. "You got me there." Layne felt so guilty she thought she was going to wither away in the ocean. Her and Rafe were in a good point in their relationship, and now she was flirting with two boys—two brothers? Who knew. But she felt like Rafe was going to be standing on the shore waiting for to come in with the tide and he might actually hurt her this time. That damn sleeping tiger.
"We're best friends." AJ chimed in, answering her. Layne blinked out of her daze and nodded her head, running a hand over her face. The sun was almost completely down at this point, and Layne nodded her head at the incoming wave. "Catch you later." she called out, turning around and paddling toward shore, ignoring Matty's call for her to wait up. She rode the wave into shore, until it jutted on the sand, and she jumped off and carried her board back up to her bag and towel. Securing her board in the sand again, Layne took her towel to dry off her hair, and didn't even attempt to pry her rash guard from her body. She immediately checked her phone, seeing a few texts from her mom asking how the waves were. She responded that they were rough and she was heading home soon. Rafe had called her twice and then texted her asking why she wasn't answering. Layne wiped off her phone screen with her towel, shivering, and typed back that she was surfing.
You should've answered me faster
Layne scrunched up her face and tucked her phone away in her shorts pocket when the boys came jogging up. She continued to dry off her hair and guard and slipped it over her head, shaking out the sand. Layne felt insecure standing there in her bikini and tried to cover herself in her towel.
Matty briefly looked her up and down, and stuck his board in the sand. "We scare you off?" he asked, mockingly, and Layne scoffed, shaking her head. "I've gotta get home."
"Can we at least get your number? We're having a bonfire tonight."
Layne blushed, laughing awkwardly and staring at her feet. "Can my boyfriend come?" she asked, and their faces dropped. AJ scrunched up his face and cursed under his breath. "Who is your boyfriend?"
Layne folded up her rash guard, stuffing it into her bag and putting on her shorts and t-shirt over her swimsuit. "Uh...I don't think you'd know him."
"Try us."
She pursed her lips, raking her hands through her wet hair. "Rafe Cameron."
Matty chuckled, blowing air out of his mouth, hitting AJ in the side. AJ's eyes went wide. "Jesus, you're dating that fucking psycho?" Layne suddenly felt very defensive, as if they were judging her with their suggestive eyes and cheshire cat smiles that she wanted to slap off their faces. "He's not psycho." she corrected, stuffing her stuff back in her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.
AJ shrugged. "Yeah, you're right, he's not." the pair of them laughed again, and Layne was starting to get sick of them. "I think he would kill you before he killed us." he joked, but Layne took it seriously. What did they mean by that? Did they know about them, how Rafe treated her? They couldn't have. She hid it well. She put on makeup and every time they argued it was behind closed doors...except at that one party when she was flirting with that one kid. Rafe treated her like a rag doll in public. But that was a kook party, they weren't kooks. They couldn't have known.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, suddenly serious, but the sun was down and she was hoping the boys wouldn't see how red her face got and how her eyes brimmed with burning tears. She sniffed to try and get them to go away, and turned her face away from them for a split second. Matty furrowed his eyebrows, not smiling anymore, but shook his head. "Nah, I was just playing." he laughed again. They laughed a lot. Layne wasn't sure the last time she heard Rafe laugh.
"For real though. We just want to be friends...isn't that possible? From two surfers to another?" Matty kid. Layne realized she never asked them how old they were. They looked to be her age, maybe a few years older, and they were inviting her to a bonfire. It all felt very juvenile, but Layne didn't hate it. They had to be slightly young to still be following traditions like coming down to his father's house every summer. She noticed he had his hand out, like he was waiting for her to hand over her phone. She looked down at her phone, and the text messages from Rafe lighting up the screen.
"Fine. Fine..." she opened her phone to her contacts, shoving it in his hand. Matty and AJ both put their numbers in her phone, and Layne thought was weird. Did they normally tag team girls? Were they trying to get a lucky three way? She felt giddy and like a child doing something they shouldn't. Was this cheating? Part of her didn't care. Rafe deserved to get cheated on. Layne could never have sex with anyone but him.
They texted themselves off her phone to remind them who it was—but Layne also presumed it was because they knew she would not text them first. She didn't plan on it, either, and also did not plan on going to their bonfire tonight. She wanted to erase this from her mind.
"Nice to meet you Layne." Matty grinned, and placed a hand on her arm, dragging it down to her hand when he pulled away. AJ gave her a wink and Layne was so confused at her emotions she thought she was going to explode. She had visions of being in bed with both of them, and cursed herself. She had a boyfriend—a shitty one at that—but she shouldn't be thinking of sleeping with other guys when they were doing good for once. But she did get goosebumps when Matty touched her and felt a burning in her stomach when AJ winked at her. She felt so juvenile it was making her sick.
Layne sighed when she sat down in the drivers seat of her car, getting slightly chilly from the winds. She knew there was a hurricane coming that weekend, and knew that it would make for the best surfing. John B and JJ were always up for surfing in hurricane weather, but they hadn't talked for a while, and she wondered if they even gave a shit about her like they used to. They probably thought she was a traitor for dating Rafe.
She scrolled through his text messages, asking where she was and what she was doing, and Layne thought for a moment that the script had flipped. Usually she was the one asking where he was, what he was doing, and he never answered. Now he seemed oddly clingy that Layne wondered if he had done something he wasn't supposed to. Or maybe he knew that she did something she wasn't supposed to.
Layne called him on her way home, rolling up the windows and trying her best to hear him over the winds.
"Where the fuck are you?" he asked, and Layne tried to go slower so she could hear him better. "i was surfing...I'm heading back to my house now, I didn't have my fucking phone in the water."
"Don't curse at me."
"Seriously?"
There was a deep sigh on the other end, and Layne could practically envision him running his hand over his face and through his hair. "Have you been doing coke?" she asked when he didn't say anything, and she could feel his rage through the phone. "No, Layne, what the fuck, I told you I was stopping."
"You've said that a lot before."
"Can you just come over? Please."
Layne sighed, nearly closing her eyes to breathe until she realized she was driving. She felt a buzz against her face from her phone, and retracted it to glance at the text from Matty. She couldn't even read it before Rafe was yelling through the phone. "Layne? You there?" she cleared her throat and pressed her phone back up against her ear.
"Yeah—I'm here, I just...I need to go home first and shower, I'm all gross."
"I don't care, I just really want to see you. Please."
Layne couldn't tell if he really wanted to see her, or if he just wanted to have sex. Either way, she knew she would end up going over there anyway. But she needed to set boundaries if they were to continue being together—that what was her mother said, and that was something she knew she needed to do. But it was so hard knowing what his reaction was going to be.
"I'll come over if you take me out to dinner."
There was a beat of silence, broken only by the wind flying in her car. It took about a minute before he finally answered. "Yeah...yeah, OK. Where do you wanna go? The Wreck?" Layne suddenly got a flashback to when she was supposed to start working there. She turned her blinker on and did a u-turn with one hand. "I don't care."
"OK, well don't ask me to take you out to dinner and then not make a decision on where to go. You know that shit pisses me off."
She sighed, nodding as if he could see her. "The Wreck is fine." she breathed, turning to head back towards Figure Eight. "OK...OK, I'll see you soon." he muttered.
"Wait do you still have my stuff there?" she asked, and he released a hefty breath like he was bending over to look. "Uh—yeah."
"K. Bye." she hung up before he could answer, and typed to her mom with one hand that she was going out to dinner with Marian and Claudia. She felt bad for lying again, but she knew her mom would give her a hard time about seeing Rafe so much. Secretly, Layne thought that Rory knew, and was just trying to keep her out of sight, out of mind mindset. Oftentimes, Layne was going to the Cameron's more than Rafe was coming to her house. Rory and Kurt did not mind that—they didn't like Rafe, and didn't care for his family, either.
Okay. Be safe
Layne didn't answer and turned up the music on her radio. It was crackling due to bad connection and she wondered if the storm was going to come early. Pulling up to the Cameron's, she basically had a designated parking spot next to one of their many cars. She always parked as far away from them as possible as she was terrified of accidentally hitting them.
Layne sat in her car for a moment and checked her text message from Matty.
Wyd tn???
She internally cringed. For some reason, the thought of a man texting made her want to laugh. She wondered if he had planned out what he was going to send to her. Biting on her lip, she thought about his face and his body again and felt herself getting flushed. Flopping her head down on her steering wheel, she let out an ocean breath before texting him back.
not going to a bonfire
She smiled to herself at her clever reply. He immediately started typing back, the three dotted bubble popping up and down a few times before he answered.
That's a shame would've loved to see you again
Layne blushed slightly, toying with her thumbs. Before deciding not to respond. She didn't need Matty or AJ texting her while she was with Rafe. She pushed out of her car, hitting the lock button twice as a force of habit. Rafe was already at the door, hair disheveled, wearing a pair of his boxers with no shirt. Layne tried not to make eye contact with him and push through the door, but he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
"You've still got sand all over you." he nodded towards her feet and legs, and she had almost forgotten that she was stepping into a kook house. She looked at him, head cocked to the side with a really? expression on her face. "You can get one of your maids to clean it up." she joked, and he gave her a mocking grin. "Ha ha."
He knelt down in front of her and used his own hands to wipe off the sand from her calves, and Layne watched him and felt like she was floating out of her body. This was one of the moments where she truly believed they had a new start—he was delicate, tender. She played with a few strands of his hair until he was done brushing all the sand off, and stood up. She looked up at him and he swallowed.
"Can I shower?" she asked in a low voice. He nodded his head wordlessly and stepped aside for her to get in, and Layne made her way up to his room. She found her little section of one of his drawers that had some of her underwear and clothes in it that had accumulated from the many times she slept over. She was surprised they were even washed.
"Can I come?" he asked, and Layne let out a sigh. "No sex." she said, and he nodded his head like a child. "No sex." he repeated. She nodded, and the pair of them went to the bathroom to start the shower. Layne loved showering at Rafe's, because she would use his soap and shampoo and smell like him, as if she was him, as if she crawled into his body, in the spots between his ribs and his heart. She had to stand on her tip-toes in order to reach his hair to help him clean it, getting her hands sudsy with soap. He helped her with her hair, too, and with washing her back.
"I love you." he breathed, as he was helping her wash the shampoo out of her hair. Her head was tilted back, eyes closed, and she couldn't see the way his face contorted when he said it, like it was something he shouldn't have said out loud. Not that he regretted it, but it wasn't something easy for him to say. Rafe doesn't think he's said that to any other girl than Layne. He really didn't think he loved anyone else, other than her—not even his sisters. Maybe his dad. But a love like what he had for Layne was different, if it wasn't healthy. He was trying—at least, he was telling himself he was. She loved him, and that was all that mattered.
"I love you too." she beamed back up at him once he was finished, and he reached down to kiss her on the lips, laughing a bit and resting his head on her shoulder. Layne placed a few delicate kisses on his shoulder, rubbing his back. They stood like that for a bit, feeling the hot water pour onto them, his arms around her waist. Layne kept her eyes closed and cherished it for as long as she could.
After standing there for a while, Rafe cleaned himself off and they turned off the water. He helped by wrapping her in a towel, placing a few kisses on her cheek and the crook of her neck. Layne felt herself blushing and wondered if he had done something wrong, and that was why he was acting so nice. It was almost like he needed permission from himself, that when they started dating, he could act like a decent human being. They got changed, and Layne brushed Rafe's hair, him sitting on his bed while she stood between his legs. Her hair was drying in the towel and he ran his hands up and down her legs.
Layne ran her hands through his hair, shaking it gently to get the dripping water out of it. She then brushed her hair, tying it back in a braid. They brushed their teeth together, and Rafe took a picture of them in the mirror. Layne flushed and spat out the toothpaste, washing out the sink. He turned off the lights in his bedroom when they left, and Layne secretly checked her phone when he was walking down the steps in front of her. She ogled at Matty's text and chewed on her lip anxiously, hesitantly typing back.
don't miss me too much
She sent it without thinking, and was wondering where all this confidence came from. Normally she wouldn't have said anything—maybe she would've blocked his number. But it felt exhilarating and having a secret to compare to the hundreds of secrets Rafe kept from her, it didn't feel so bad. She would've loved to see the amount of girls in his phone and wondered if he ever answered any of them.
She got herself comfortable in the sweaty passenger seat of his car, the leather hot to touch. He kept the windows down instead of turning on the AC, and reached over to hold her hand. Layne was self conscious that her hand was sweaty, but he still held it, softly rubbing his thumb over her knuckles and drawing circles on the back of her palm. "This is nice." she whispered, and Rafe looked over at her with his eyes knitted in a straight line. "Hm?"
Layne flushed a bit and shook her head. "Nothing." she chewed on her free thumb nail, and Rafe strategically turned into the Wreck with one hand on the wheel, nodding his head along with the music. He pulled into a spot that looked right into the trees that surrounded the restaurant. Layne pushed out of the car, Rafe following her and adjusting his hat on his wet hair. Sometimes Layne thought he was more self conscious about his hair than a girl would be.
"Fuck." she muttered under her breath, seeing the trio of pogues that she did not want to see while she was going on a date with Rafe. JJ Maybank, John B, and Pope were all sitting around an outdoor table, throwing food at a laughing Kiara as she wandered inside, apron tied around her waist with an empty tray in her hand. "Our fucking luck." Rafe spat, narrowing his eyes at the three boys. Layne rolled her eyes, nudging him gently in the side.
"Don't be a fucking asshole."
"Don't call me that." he spoke, fully serious, and Layne bit her tongue. Layne pulled his arm slightly, as if to try and get him to go the other way, but he puffed out his chest like he was trying to prove something to them. Layne hated boys. She hated all of them and how stupid they were, how they needed to try so hard to prove themselves to each other. Layne didn't like how her and Rafe only really seemed to love each other behind closed doors, but at least he didn't act the way he did when he was around his friends, or in public; as if he was scared to show affection and didn't want to show off the fact that he had a girlfriend, other than bragging about their sexual escapades.
Layne saw John B look in their direction, and then nudge JJ and nod his head toward them. The two boys looked over at them, JJ with a smug smirk on his face, and Pope looking as though he had a seen a ghost, and tried to hide his face from Rafe.
"Hi Layne!" JJ announced, getting up from his seat with arms spread. Pope leaned forward to pull him down by the shirt, and Layne gave them a small wave. Rafe looked at her with such horror, as though she had shot someone right in front of him. "Oh, hey Rafe. Looking good, buddy, can I get your autograph? Maybe score some of that coke in your pocket?" JJ teased, and Rafe tried to lunge at him, but Layne pulled him away by his shirt.
"Have fun on your date!" John B called out after them, as Rafe pulled himself away from Layne's grasp. "Fucking dipshits." he muttered under his breath. Layne rubbed his back. "They're just kids."
"Yeah, little fucking assholes."
"You were the same way, you know."
Rafe looked at her with such disgust in his eyes Layne was almost offended. They were seated quickly in the corner and Layne prayed to God that Kiara was not their waitress. She seemed to be working the section on the deck and outside, and Layne made sure to take the seat that faced the wall. She fingered through the menu, everything seemingly unappetizing.
"What're you gonna get?" Rafe asked, and she shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe a salad."
"Is that gonna fill you?"
Layne shrugged again, picking away at her nail. Rafe kept looking between the menu and her face. "You look sunburnt." he mentioned, and she breathed heavily out of her mouth, not answering. Her phone lit up next to her with a text from Matty. She hadn't saved his number, so it just looked like an unknown number. Rafe peeked up from his seat and Layne turned her phone off. "Who was that?"
She avoided eye contact with him and shook her head. "Just my mom."
"You don't have your mom's number saved?"he asked, and Layne was nervous that he had even caught onto that. "She got a new number...just forgot."
He looked at her, concerned, but sighed before continuing to look at the menu. They ended up ordering drinks, Rafe getting a beer (somehow) while Layne just got a water. He ordered a burger and she got a salad. Layne watched him in disgust as he scarfed it down, as well as the fries. He offered her some, to which she took a few fries and dipped them in the ranch that came with her salad.
"Fries in ranch? You're so weird." he chuckled, taking a hearty sip of the cloudy, potent beer. She giggled back, having not eaten fries in so long they tasted like the best thing she's ever eaten. Her eating had gotten a bit better since her mom noticed, but it was still hard to stomach things, but she had a few fries and didn't feel the need to throw it back up.
"You know there's a hurricane coming this week, right?" he asked her, right as the waitress had dropped off the bill. Layne had finished her entire salad and was feeling quite accomplished, but his looming glances made her a little embarrassed, that she had forgotten to answer his question.
"Hello?" he spat, and she blinked out her daze. "Oh, uh—yeah I know. Good for surfing." she nodded, sipping her water. He blinked at her and shook his head. "You can't surf in that shit, you'll die."
Layne scoffed and smiled at him. "Not my first rodeo." It really wasn't. Her, John B and JJ used to surf in hurricanes all the time. She would even do it with her parents once she got a little older, although they weren't as limber anymore.
"You're crazy." he shook his head, signing the receipt and slipping his card back in his wallet. "You got any cash for tip?" Layne never took him as one to tip. She nodded her head wordlessly, reaching to grab her wallet and pulled a few bills out, handing them over. He stuffed them under their empty glasses that Layne had graciously stacked up, and both of them got up to leave. Layne saw Kiara on the way out, and she offered a small wave, to which Kie was going to return until she saw Rafe. She then only gave a tight lipped smile and quickly disappeared into the kitchen. The boys were gone when they went outside, and when they got in the car, Layne took the opportunity to look at Matty's text.
Can't you just stop by for a little? I'm sure Rafe won't mind
She stared at the text for a moment, looking over at Rafe, who was focused on the road, one hand hanging out of the window. Redemption Song by Bob Marley played off the speaker.
maybe. what do i get out of it?
She turned off her phone and flipped it over in her lap. She made the impulsive decision to mention the bonfire to Rafe. "There's this bonfire going on tonight if you wanna go." she avoided eye contact with him, and he released a heavy sigh. "Why would I wanna go to that?"
Layne shrugged, playing with the loose thread of her shirt. "Dunno...something to do, I guess."
"Tyler is having a party tonight, though." Rafe mentioned, and Layne tried to act like she knew who the fuck Tyler was. Rafe had too many friends that it was hard to keep track. "You know I don't like going to those parties...you always ditch me." she muttered, and Rafe scoffed. "Cmon, babe. You know I'm not gonna do that now."
Why wouldn't he do that now? Because he won't have to worry about people judging him for being with a dirty pogue? Because everyone knew they were dating and didn't give a flying fuck, so there was no reason for him to hide anymore? Everyone was scared of him, scared of his wrath and his anger, that they knew better than to say anything. Rafe had been a ticking time bomb since he was a child. Not much has changed since then—if anything, it's only gotten worse.
"Can we go to both?" she asked, as he put on his blinker to turn left at a light. The headlights from the other cars blinded her, and she squinted in the bright lights. Her phone buzzed against her thigh and she picked it up while Rafe wasn't looking.
You get to see me and AJ isn't that enough
Layne tried not to laugh at her phone and blew air out of her mouth.
rafe's dragging me to this kook party. maybe after
Matty started typing immediately, like he was waiting for her to respond.
I'll be waiting for you
Layne put her phone on Do Not Disturb when she saw Rafe peeking at her phone in his peripheral. Her heart was racing slightly but she tried to hide it and flipped her phone around in her hand. "Who're you texting?" he asks, and she sighs, throwing her head back as he pulls onto a dead street, that was quiet save for thumping music in the distance. "Why do you care?"
"Is that why you wanna go to this bonfire tonight? Some guy you wanna fuck gonna be there?" He was so insecure. Technically, he wasn't wrong, but she felt so gross when he phrased it like that. "That's probably the reason you wanna come to this party, right? All those blonde kook girls that are all over you. You love it."
Rafe angrily stepped on the gas until he flew by the house, trying to look for a parking spot. Layne felt scared in that moment, that he was somehow going to crash and flip the car, killing them both. She held onto the side of the car, physically recoiling away from him and towards the door, as if she was about to jump out. He parked down by the beach, about a block away from the kid Tyler's house, and Layne felt herself started to tear up.
"Show me your fucking phone." he demanded, holding out his hand as if she was going to give it to him. "Why? Why don't you trust me?"
"Because if you weren't hiding anything, you'd show me your phone."
Layne scoffed, looking out the window, listening to the waves crashing in the distance. For a moment, she wondered what would happen if she just got out of the car and walked away. Maybe she would finally walk away from him and this would all be over—she'd never see him again. But they had been doing so good recently, she was almost too scared to do anything that would make him break. She tossed around the different outcomes of both situations, but just ended up dropping the phone in his hand. Her heart was racing so loud she could hear it in her ears.
He unlocked her phone so easily but it seemed like slow motion. He scrolled through the text messages so quickly Layne wondered if he even read them. "Who the fuck is this? Who is AJ?"
"They're just—"
"And don't fucking lie to me, Layne."
She took a deep inhale and closed her eyes. "They're literally just some kids I met surfing. That's it. They said there was a party tonight so they asked for my number."
Rafe scoffed in disgust and threw the phone back in her lap. "You gave it to them?"
"Technically they gave it to me."
Rafe groaned, running his hands over his face. "Layne, that's fucking worse." Layne pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to quell her tears. She didn't know why she felt like complete and utter shit whenever he was disappointed in her. It felt worse than when her mother was upset with her, when she clung to Rory and soaked her shirt with tears.
"I know—I know, I'm sorry, OK? I wasn't thinking...I was being stupid, I'm sorry." she reached to hold his face, and Rafe tried to pry her hands off of him, but she kept them on his face and made him look at her. "Please." she pleaded, and he looking between her eyes and her lips and sighed in defeat.
"No one know about this happening, OK? I don't wanna look like a fucking idiot with a slutty girlfriend." he got out of the car and slammed the door behind him. Layne felt herself beginning to cry and tried to subdue the knot in her throat. That sleeping tiger.
authors note: yayyyy finally an update!! sorry it took so long for me to update this story, this summer has been going and going and i feel like i never got a break to write until recently!!! i really was going back and forth in my head about whether or not to introduce a new boy into the story (or two...haha...) but i thought it would add a little more spice to the story considering the REALLY juicy stuff doesn't really come until the second season.
butttttt when i was thinking of what the situation would be with matty and aj i was randomly reminded of challengers (2024) and i was like wait.....josh o'connor...mike faist....maybe...haha...and then the rest is history ok. i really don't know what i'm doing but that's the best way to do this story honestly. ok love you guyssss <33