Khadijah awoke to the sun shining on her face. She yawned, fixing her bonnet on her head as she turned over. Arion's arms around her tightened as she moved, holding her closer to his body as he, too, shifted. She snaked his hand beneath his shirt, loving the warmth that radiated from his body—she let out a content sigh as she drifted back off. Arion mumbled something above her, but she just groaned sleepily, tucking her face beneath his chin, pressed up against his collarbone.
She was in such a sleep-induced daze that she didn't register that it was already morning.
The sleep was hitting too good.
She laid on top of Arion's chest, hand trapped beneath his shirt, feeling his chest raise and fall with each breath.
Last night felt like a lucid dream—she couldn't have possibly snuck out of her house and went to an actual party, right? But Arion was here, and that was proof enough.
Wait—Arion... was here... in her room.
Khadijah blearily blinked her eyes open as the thought set in—looking up at Arion's chiselled jaw as he snored lightly, peacefully sleeping in her bed.
She was so confused—so caught off guard, that she didn't register the sound of footsteps approaching her door until it opened tentatively before it slammed open, rattling the whole room. Khadijah pushed herself up, one hand on Arion's chest, as he opened his eyes tiredly—no longer feeling the same euphoric high from last night. She turned her head slowly, her heart palpitating as she took in her mother's form in her doorway, mouth dropping open as she scrambled away from Arion, tumbling in the sheets, and falling off the bed in a heap of blankets onto her floor.
"Khadijah! What on earth is he doing here?!" Her mother screeched—loud enough to wake up the whole block with her yell.
"Oh shit," she heard Arion mumble as he got up off her bed, "Miss Timera, I'm sorry—"
"You sorry?!" Her mother continued to yell, stepping into the room. "You're in bed with my daughter, Arion—in my house, uninvited!" Khadijah winced, hearing the New York accent thicken within her mother's voice—knowing things were about to get seriously out of hand. She straightened her tank top and pyjamas shorts, standing up from the floor.
"Hooyo, I can explain everything—please just—" Khadijah tried to say, but her mother was having none of it.
"Zahid! Kaalay oo arka cidda gabadhaada guriga soo gelisay (come and see who your daughter has brought into the house)! Khadijah, you have disappointed me greatly and you—defiling my daughter like this—have you no shame?" Her mother yelled and in an instant, her father had appeared as well. Khadijah wanted to groan, but she bit her tongue in the presence of her parents, who ripped into them with ease. She felt embarrassed and incredibly awkward as she stood off to the side with Arion gathering his things around the room—collecting his hoodie that held his gun between the folds.
Her father walked him out of their apartment with the meanest mug on his face that Khadijah had ever seen. She sat on the edge of her bed, curling into herself as her mother came over to her—smacking her on the back of the head.
"Waxaan ku nidhi ha ka laadlaad-laadin! Haddana, waxaad keenaysaa mid iyaga ka mid ah saqafkeena hoostiisa (we told you not to hang around them! Yet, you bring one of them under our roof)!" Her mother had shouted, and Khadijah didn't even have words to defend herself. Her mother slapped her shoulders a few times before she exhausted herself from yelling. Her father came back into the room, staring at her, partly in disbelief and partly in disappointment. Khadijah knew as soon as she looked at him.
There was no going back.
Her parents had shouted at her a few more times—going back and forth, arguing over what to do with her, before her mother finally stormed off. She couldn't even bear to look at her anymore. Her father lectured her for a while—long enough for tears to spill out of Khadijah's eyes. He'd taken her phone and forbid her from leaving the house.
"Aad baad ii niyad jabisay (you disappointed me so much), Khadijah," her father had said before he finally left the room as well, the door clicking shut behind him.
She just buried her face in her hands and cried.
✧
Her father had always told Khadijah that her name held weight.
Khadijah itself meant trustworthy, but her father had chosen the name because it symbolized respect. She was expected to be a respectful girl--respect her elders, follow rules, and act accordingly to what was expected of her. As a young girl, she eagerly ached to fulfill her father's dreams for her--becoming a lawyer, and making it big enough that they'd be able to move out of the Bronx and never look back, but all that had changed in her sophomore year of high school.
Her mother had walked her to the subway the next morning, glaring vehemently at Arion and Kevin, who stood outside waiting for her. Thankfully, her mother kept quiet—just forced Khadijah to stick to her side until the train came, watching carefully to ensure Khadijah stayed away.
She stayed stoic when the train left the station, watching her mother's face turn into a tiny dot fading into the distance from the window before she let out a tired sigh.
Khadijah exited the subway alone, dodging Kevin and Arion as she made her way to her locker. It wasn't long before they caught up to her, though and showered her with endless questions.
"Bro, are your parents mad mad?" Arion asked her.
"What the fuck do you think? They took my phone," she grumbled, shoving her bag into her locker, "all because Kevin didn't stick to his fucking word and come get you last night. Why the fuck were you popping percs anyways, Arion? Are you crazy?" She bit out at Arion, a glare on her face. He seemed a bit taken aback, pursing his lips slightly.
"Shit took longer than expected—I was tryna text and call, but niggas were slumped," Kevin sighed, shrugging his shoulder slightly.
"I'm sorry, Jah, deadass—I ain't mean to—" Arion stumbled over his words, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
"Just stop, Arion," she snapped at him, holding her palm in the air, "my parents are on my ass about this. If they see me with you guys, they'll ship me back home, and they weren't fucking playing this morning. I just can't believe that shit happened." Khadijah whispered the last sentence to herself, just exhausted with the morning's events. "So from now on, in public, just act like you don't know me. Thanks." Khadijah spoke dryly, slamming her locker shut. She spun on her heel, walking away towards her social sciences class; hearing the two guys mumbling behind her.
"You fucked up, Dougz, I ain't gon' lie to you."
"Shut up, Kay—like you didn't go on a fucking drill last night and left me with her."
"At least I wasn't popping percs like a bitch—"
She rolled her eyes.
✧
It's the middle of second period when the classroom phone rings. Arion had long given up trying to talk to Khadijah, the girl steadfastly enjoying her silence as she worked. He sat next to her, scrolling through his phone as he peered at her curiously—trying to gauge her mood, but Khadijah ignored him promptly.
The phone ringing made Khadijah look up, seeing Mrs. Hu sigh before she got up from behind her desk—crossing the class to pick up the phone, holding it to her ear.
"Hu speaking."
Khadijah bowed her head, focusing back on her work as the teacher chatted with whoever was on the phone. Half the class was talking and socializing while the other half tried to attempt the math problems Mrs. Hu had assigned for homework so there was a healthy bit of noise in the room that Khadijah used to clear her mind—dissociating from everything else. Until—
"Khadijah, the phone," Mrs. Hu called to her, gesturing to the phone.
Khadijah furrowed her eyebrows, placing down her pencil. She stood up from her desk, thanking her teacher as she moved to the doorway with the phone, putting it up to her ear.
"Hello?" She said hesitantly.
"Khadijah," her mother's voice chipped through, shaky as though she'd been crying, "aabahaa... shil buu galay (your father... he's been in an accident), meet me at the general hospital now. I already spoke to your teacher. Just—hurry, please."
"What?" Khadijah's voice cracked.
"Hurry." Her mother said simply before she hung up.
Khadijah pulled the phone away from her, staring at it incredulously as the information sunk in. She put it back on the receiver, numbly walking back to her seat. Arion stared at her as she gathered her things.
"Where you going?" He asked her, sitting up in his seat.
"I-I need... I n-need... " Khadijah stammered, head spinning as she gathered her pencils and pens into her pencil case, "I need... to go to t-the h-hospital. Right now."
She felt like she wanted to throw up.
"What?" Arion jumped up, sliding his phone into his pocket. "What happened, ma?"
"My dad," she said blankly, picking up her binder and textbook, "h-he's been in an accident. I gotta go."
Khadijah left the classroom—hurrying to her locker, so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Arion following her. She just shoved all of her things into her bag once she reached her locker, items askew as she quickly zipped her backpack closed. She glanced to her left, seeing Arion waiting for her patiently.
"What are you—" she wanted to ask him but he cut her off.
"Kay's in the back, he can drive us," Arion said, gesturing towards the packing lot towards the back of the school.
"Okay," Khadijah muttered, unable to argue. She felt as though all her movement was robotic as she moved. She looped her arm with Arion's, feeling her feet begin to drag as she imagined the worst. He didn't say anything which she was immensely grateful for—just grounded her as he led them towards Kevin. Kevin stood outside with Setty, sharing a blunt which he quickly crushed beneath his foot at their arrival. Arion and Khadijah got into the back while Kevin got into the front—there was conversation but Khadijah barely heard it, just so zoned out as Kevin began driving. She didn't even realize they'd arrived at the hospital until Arion opened her door for her and she climbed out hesitantly. She fished out her phone, leading the trio of guys into the hospital—trying to figure out where her mom was.
It was already too late. By the time her mom texted her, it was already too fucking late.
"They... they said there was an accident... " Her mother sniffled, carefully holding her daughter's hand. They sat in uncomfortable chairs located in the waiting room, Kevin and Arion waiting out in the hallway to give the Karim women some privacy. "A-after this morning, y-your aabo decided to go back on the r-road. He'd taken another assignment, trucking to Penslyvania for the day. I'm not sure what he was transporting but they didn't take the proper precautions. T-there was a minor collision and the truck... " Her mother paused, biting her lip harshly. Harsh enough to draw blood.
"The truck exploded, they said... your father died on impact."
Khadijah inhaled sharply, squeezing the life out of her mother's hand. Her mother couldn't hold it together anymore—breaking down into tears. Khadijah held her—as best as she could, feeling the tears threatening to spill.
Her father was gone.
As people walked by—doctors and nurses stopping briefly to check-in on them, Khadijah felt as though the world moved in slow motion. Every breath she took was calculated. Every movement she made happened slowly and carefully. Her mother seemed to only be an accessory, clinging to her daughter in her grief.
They sat in those chairs for hours upon hours.
People watched them sympathetically, wordlessly offering their condolesences to the woman who lost her husband and the girl who lost her father. Khadijah ignored them—their apologies and sympathies meant nothing to her. None of it would ever bring her father back so she didn't even respond to the fifth doctor who stopped to check on them, offering his condolesences. Eventually, her mother got up, excusing herself to the bathroom once she exhausted herself from her tears. Arion and Kevin rounded the corner two minutes later and Khadijah couldn't even be bothered to ask why they'd stayed. Instead, they sat next to her—one on each side. She leaned against Arion—tired of being strong in the face of her mother, one hand moving to hold Kevin's hand in her lap firmly.
Kevin squeezed her hand and Arion pushed her face into the crook of his neck as she finally began to cry.