MARCH 6, 2023・MONDAY・12:34
"Jasmin," Maya says as she walks a bit faster to try and catch up with her.
Jasmin looks back and sees her. She immediately increases her pace, attempting to lose her.
Maya, determined to catch up with her, starts to run.
Jasmin steals another glance at her and extends her strides more.
After awhile, Maya manages to lessen the gap between them and eventually catches up with Jasmin. "Jas, hulat lang."
"JAS, SLOW DOWN."
She stops by the entrance of the school gymnasium and turns around, annoyed. "Unsa man imong gusto, Maya?" she asks, trying to catch her breath.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT, MAYA?"
"Gusto lang ko makipag-isturya."
"I JUST WANT TO TALK."
"Dili ko gusto makipag-isturya sa imo," she turns away again to start walking.
"WELL, I DON'T WANT TO."
But then Maya grabs her arm gently. "Jas," she calmly says. "Tama na. Imohang asthma."
"SLOW DOWN. YOUR ASTHMA."
Jasmin turns back to face her and sighs.
"Isturya ta please."
"LET'S TALK PLEASE."
Jasmin shrugs.
They take a seat on one of the outdoor benches outside the gymnasium.
Maya nervously fiddles with her hands trying to think of what to say. "Kabalo ko nga giingnan nimo si Pamela sa nahitabo sa atoa."
"I KNOW YOU TOLD PAMELA ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED."
Jasmin nods and gives her a smirk. "Nakabalo na gyud ang tanan kung unsang klase nga tao."
"FINALLY, EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT KIND OF A PERSON YOU ARE."
Maya looks her in the eye. "Jas, undangon na nato ni. Naa pa ta'y isa ka tuig ani nga school. Dili ni pwedeng ingon ani lang ta hangtod mugraduate ta. Gusto ka ani? Pirme na lang ta masuko? Mag-sinipatay, mag-libakanay?"
"JAS, WE NEED TO STOP THIS. WE STILL HAVE ONE YEAR LEFT IN THIS SCHOOL. WE CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS UNTIL WE GRADUATE. DO YOU ENJOY THIS? ALWAYS JUST SO ANGRY? ALWAYS JUST SCOWLING AT EACH OTHER? TALKING BEHIND EACH OTHER'S BACKS?"
Jasmin purses her lips and takes a moment to think. Eventually, she shakes her head.
Maya tucks some of her hair behind her ear. "Dili nako gusto ana, Jas. Gikapoy na ko."
"I DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE, JAS. I'M TIRED."
She doesn't say anything.
"Kahinumdum ko atong Grade 3 ta, unya ni-transfer ko diri gikan Davao, ikaw ang pinaka-una nga nakipag-amigo sa akoa. Nakita ko nimo nga ako lang isa nag-lunch unya gisabayan ko nimo. Suko kaayo ko kang mama ato nga gitransfer mi niya dinhe sa Carmen after sila nag-bulag ni papa. Kahinumdum ko nga gusto ko mulayas kay naa tanan akong mga amigo sa Davao. Pero atong adlawa, for the first time, nafeel nako nga basi'g pwede ko mustay dinhe. Kahinumdum ko ato nga daghan kaayo ka'g mga amigo. Unya feeling nako swerte kaayo ko kay apil ko ato."
"I REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE IN GRADE 3, AND I TRANSFERRED HERE FROM DAVAO. YOU WERE THE VERY FIRST FRIEND I MADE. YOU SAW ME EATING LUNCH ALONE AND YOU SAT AND ATE WITH ME. I WAS SO ANGRY AT MY MAMA FOR TRANSFERRING ME HERE AT CARMEN AFTER BREAKING UP WITH PAPA. I REMEMBER JUST WANTING TO RUN AWAY BECAUSE ALL MY FRIENDS WERE AT DAVAO. BUT THAT DAY, FOR THE FIRST, I FELT THAT MAYBE I COULD STAY HERE. I REMEMBER THAT YOU HAD SO MANY FRIENDS. AND I JUST FELT SO LUCKY TO BE ONE OF THEM."
Jasmin continues to remains silent, just gazing at her.
"Ikaw akong pinaka-best friend, Jas. Pero giguba nako to. Ug..." Maya gestures to herself, her tears falling down. "...Ug hugaw kaayo akong panan-aw sa akong sarili. Suko kaayo ko sa akong kaugalingon tungod ana. Kada gabii, before ko matulog, ginabalik-balik nako ang mga atik nga akong naingon sa imo. Ginahuna-huna nako ang sakit nga imohang na-feel kay gitraydor ka sa imohang best friend." She begins to sob.
"YOU'RE THE VERY BEST FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD, JAS. AND I FUCKED THAT UP. AND BECAUSE OF IT..."
"...BECAUSE OF IT, I JUST FEEL SO DIRTY DEEP INSIDE. I'M SO ANGRY AT MYSELF FOR IT., EVERY NIGHT, BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP, I ALWAYS REPLAY THE LIES I'VE SAID TO YOU. I ALWAYS THINK OF THE PAIN YOU MUST HAVE FELT BECAUSE YOUR BEST FRIEND BETRAYED YOU."
Jasmin begins to cry as well, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Pero dili na ko gusto ma-guilty tungod ana, Jas." Maya shakes her head and closes her eyes. "Dili nako gusto masuko pirme sa akong kaugalingon." Maya catches her breath. "Kabalo ko dili ni siya excuse. Pero ato nga time, labo na kaayo mo ni Noel, Jas. Sige ka'g ingon sa ako nga gusto naka makipag-bulag sa iya, nga dili mo bagay sa isa't-isa. Pero ako Jas, love kaayo nako si Noel ato. Gusto kaayo nako bawion tong akong gibuhat. Gusto kaayo nako tanggalon ang sakit nga akong nahatag sa imo. Pero dili nako na mabuhat. Ang ako lang mabuhat karon kay mag-sorry sa imo. Sorry, Jas. Sorry kaayo sa tanan nga akong gibuhat sa imo. Sorry kay gitraydor tika ug giguba nako atong friendship."
"BUT I CAN'T KEEP BEING GUILTY MY WHOLE LIFE, JAS."
"I DON'T WANT TO KEEP BEING ANGRY AT MYSELF."
"I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT AN EXCUSE. BUT AT THE TIME, EVERYTHING WAS GOING BAD WITH YOU AND NOEL, JAS. YOU KEPT SAYING HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH HIM, AND THAT YOU TWO WEREN'T MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. BUT JAS, I LOVED HIM. SO MUCH. I WISH THAT I COULD TAKE BACK WHAT I DID. I WISH THAT I COULD TAKE AWAY ALL THE PAIN I GAVE YOU. BUT I CAN'T. ALL I CAN DO NOW IS JUST TO APOLOGIZE. SORRY, JAS. I'M SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT I DID TO YOU. SORRY THAT I BETRAYED YOU AND I DESTROYED OUR FRIENDSHIP."
Jasmin clenches her jaw as more tears fall from her eyes.
"Wala ko naga-expect nga pasayluon ko nimo. O ma-amigo ta'g usab. Ang gusto lang nako kay tratuhon ko nimo ug tarong. Kay gikapoy nako nga libakon o pag-tsistmisan. Gikapoy nako ug sige'g away."
"LOOK, I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO FORGIVE ME...OR THAT WE'LL BE FRIENDS AGAIN. I JUST WANT YOU TO TREAT ME BETTER. BECAUSE I'M SO TIRED OF THE BACKSTABBING OR THE GOSSIPING. I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING."
Jasmin bites her lower lip and wipes off her tears. She nods. "Okay." She looks at Maya. "Muundang nako. Tama na ang away."
"I'LL STOP. NO MORE FIGHTING."
"Okay," Maya says, a bit surprised. She wipes off her tears and looks at Jasmin again.
It's quiet for a while as the two of them sit on the bench in silence.
"Kahinumdum pa diay ka sa akong asthma?"
"YOU STILL REMEMBER MY ASTHMA?"
"Of course," Maya chuckles. "Ako baya imong pirme ginauban sa school clinic."
"HOW COULD I FORGET ALL THOSE DAYS AT THE SCHOOL CLINIC WITH YOU?"
"Wala na ko'y asthma."
"I DON'T HAVE ASTHMA ANYMORE."
Maya nods and looks at her and smile. "Okay."