"I don't want you to avoid me."
--☆--☆--☆--
For the past few weeks Josh's life has felt normal again. He no longer spent every free second thinking about Cassie and how everything went wrong. He didn't watch her from across the hall wishing she'd look up and see him. Things were getting better, he was feeling better.
Then this economics project came and whacked him back to December. Rory was the group leader for their project and now her grandpa was going to be their advisor. The Gilmores were coming at him left and right, and now he was watching Cassie walk through the hall again.
Josh was pretending to look for his binder in his locker. Except the binder was in his hand, and his eyes were on Cassie. She was walking to the end of the hallway, a smile appearing on her face when Rory and Richard walked up to her.
Cassie gave her grandpa a hug, not caring that people were shooting confused glances in her direction. Josh couldn't help but smile as he looked at her. He couldn't take his eyes off her, until-
"Hey!"
Josh flinched when Stella Hayes appeared at his side. He quickly forced his eyes off his ex girlfriend and onto his new one. "Hi."
"Whatcha looking at?" She asked him, noticing the distracted look on his face.
"Oh, I was looking for my econ binder," He replied. Stella looked down at the binder in his arms, pointing to it. "Right," Josh forced a laugh.
"You're lucky you're so cute," Stella told him. "So wanna walk me to class?"
Josh shook his head, "Can't. I have this econ project and you know Paris," he said, using the Geller girl as an excuse.
"God she's so annoying," Stella shook her head. He nodded in agreement and before he knew it her lips were on his. It was a quick kiss, nothing special, they were both pulling away after five seconds. "I'll see you after school," She said, with a suggestive smirk on her face.
"Sure," he nodded, knowing what she meant. Then she was walking away, and his head turned to where he last saw Cassie. Except she wasn't there anymore, and neither were Richard or Rory. "Crap," He whispered under his breath, realizing he was now officially late to class.
"Okay, but that means that we would actually have to build a robot," Rory said to Madeline as Josh quickly walked into the classroom and took an empty seat.
All eyes, including Richard's, went onto him. "You're late," Paris told him.
"Won't happen again," Josh replied only then noticing the look he was getting from Richard. "Nice to see you again Mr. Gilmore," He said, using a very polite tone of voice. Richard simply nodded at him, not saying another word.
"Okay..." Rory broke the awkward silence. "Let's just try to keep the ideas down to things we can actually accomplish," She said and at the same time Paris stood up and put a heavy binder on everyone's desk. "And I guess Paris is next."
"The average teenager spends seven hours a day at school. Seven hours where he or she is busy walking from class to class..." Paris continued talking but Josh didn't listen to a word she said.
He just sat there for the next hour, thinking about the project leader's sister.
--☆--☆--☆--☆--☆--
"Agh!" Lorelai cringed as she continued reading her book. "Blah!"
"Mom, I can still hear you!" Cassie yelled from the kitchen. She had her computer open, trying desperately to finish her essay. Except her ideas kept getting interrupted by-
"Yuck!" Lorelai shook her head as the phone began to ring on the table behind her. Neither of the Gilmores went to grab it, since they already knew who was calling. "Agh!"
"Hey!" Rory yelled as she ran into the house.
"Gah!"
"Oh my god!" Cassie let out a groan of annoyance.
"Guys!" Rory ran over to the ignored phone and picked it up just as it stopped ringing. "Hello?" She waited for a reply but the person was already gone. Rory dropped the phone, "That ringing isn't just in your head, you know?"
"You've gotta read this Motley Crue book," Lorelai told her from her spot on the couch. "I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, it cannot get any grosser, then you turn the page and oh, hello, yes it can! It's excellent."
"Why didn't you guys answer the phone?" Rory asked them, leaning slightly so she could see Cassie in the kitchen.
"Because I firmly believe that once you've experienced something five thousand times, you need to move on," Lorelai answered.
A confused expression formed on Rory's face, "What are you talking about?" She asked as Cassie stood up from her chair and walked into the living room.
"We knew who it was," Cassie told her as she leaned against the stair railing.
"Who was it?" Rory asked.
Lorelai smiled, "The same person who's called the machine so many times now that I actually heard it sigh."
It only took Rory five seconds to figure out who Lorelai was talking about. She glanced over at Cassie who just nodded her head, confirming Rory's suspicions. "Dean?"
"Dean the determined," Lorelai smiled, finding this more amusing than either of her daughters.
"Oh man," Rory sighed just as the phone began to ring.
"Five bucks says I know who that is," Lorelai said with a smirk as Rory answered the phone.
"Hello? Oh, hey Grandpa."
Lorelai let out an annoyed sigh as she reached for her purse. "He did that on purpose," she sighed as she handed Rory five bucks.
"I'm gonna try and finish my paper," Cassie said before walking back into the kitchen. She looked at the screen looking at the empty document that was supposed to be filled with her thoughts on Black Elk Speaks.
Currently all she had written was her name and the title. Everything else was blank. Hell even her mind was blank. It was like every thought or idea she's ever had disappeared.
"What'd he want?" Lorelai asked after Rory hung up with Richard.
"He wanted to move the location of our meeting to his house tomorrow," Rory answered her, "and to cost you five bucks."
Rory's words caught the attention of her sister. Instead of looking at her book Cassie was now leaning back in her chair, trying to hear into the living room.
"So that's going well, huh, Grandpa doing that thing with you at school?"
"Yeah, I think he's having fun with it. Well, except," Rory looked into the kitchen and Cassie quickly looked down at her book. "Except for Josh." Now Cassie was really listening in.
"Really?" Lorelai's voice got quieter, both her and Rory thinking that Cassie couldn't hear them.
"He's being Grandpa, you know? He's polite and weirdly formal," Rory told her and Lorelai nodded her head. "But I think I saw him roll his eyes when Josh got to the meeting late."
"Really?"
Rory nodded her head, "He didn't actually say anything though. But now Josh has to go to their house tomorrow."
"No escape. So did you talk to him?"
"A little," Rory admitted, "after the meeting was over. We just agreed that things don't have to be awkward."
"Well that doesn't sound too bad."
"It wasn't. The only weird thing was when Stella found him," Rory told her mom, again still thinking Cassie couldn't hear her.
"Uh oh."
"She shooed me away just so they could make out."
Cassie shook her head as she stood up from the chair. She closed the laptop and her book, putting both of them into her backpack. All her movement caused Lorelai and Rory to look into the kitchen, both of them wondering what she was doing.
"Honey?" Lorelai slowly stood up from her seat and headed towards the kitchen. By the time she got there all of Cassie's school stuff was back in her backpack. "What are you doing?"
"I'm bored of homework," Cassie told her, which was true. "I'm just gonna call it a night."
"It's only six," Lorelai reminded her.
"Well, then, I'm going out to get ice cream," Cassie came up with a quick excuse that'll get her out of the house. "I just adore ice cream," she backed towards the door, picking her jacket off of the chair as she walked.
"Cassie."
"I'll be back in a few," She quickly walked out the door and ran around to the front of the house. She didn't want Lorelai or Rory to comfort her. Frankly Cassie didn't think she needed to be comforted. She just didn't want to hear about her ex-boyfriend.
Cassie ran straight into town, not stopping the entire way there. She only slowed down when she reached the gazebo. Her hand went to her chest as she tried to catch her breath and Cassie suddenly remembered why she hated running.
She walked up the steps of the gazebo and sat down on the bench. Cassie was so sure that she was over Josh. She thought she had successfully moved on. Except now whenever his name came up her heart fluttered, when she heard he was with someone else she felt sick. She didn't know what to do.
Josh would always be the first boy she ever loved, Cassie knew that. She understood that her feelings for him wouldn't just disappear overnight. But god she wished they did.
--☆--☆--☆--☆--☆--
Josh was incredibly uncomfortable. He was squashed between Rory and Brad and man this sucked. Louise was dictating the music choices the entire drive and if he heard one more *NSYNC song he'd fling himself out of the car.
Then when the car finally stopped moving they were outside Emily and Richard's house. Not exactly where he wanted to spend his afternoon.
"We should've waited for Paris," Rory said once all of them were out of the car.
"Hey, she's the one who threw a fit about leaving no later than 3:10," Louise shrugged her shoulders.
"But she could be standing outside the school right now waiting for us," Rory reminded her.
"She has my cell number," Madeline told them.
Louise looked confused, "I thought you lost your phone."
"I did... oh."
"We'll call her when we get inside," Rory said as she rang the doorbell.
"Tell her I wanted to wait, okay?" Brad asked desperately and Rory nodded.
The door opened and surprised faces appeared on everyone outside. Paris held the door open, smiling at her fellow group members.
"Paris?"
"You're right on time. Come on in," Paris stepped to the side like this was her grandparents house and not Rory's.
"Uh, okay."
"In the dining room, everyone," Richard said from that very room.
Everyone walked into the house but Josh was stuck at the door. He watched as everyone walked in the living room but he was still at the door. Rory turned her head, noticing where he was.
She quickly excused herself then walked over to him. An awkward but familiar smile appeared on her face, "You can come in, you know?"
"Yeah," Josh nodded slowly, "I know. It's just... awkward, I guess."
"It doesn't have to be," Rory told him, trying to comfort him a little. "You moved on, right?"
It took him a few seconds before he finally answered her, "Sure. Yeah, I've moved on. Has, uh, has she?"
"Are you asking me if Cassie's seeing someone else?" Rory asked him.
Josh nodded, "I saw her once, with the new guy."
"Jess?"
"Yeah. Jess."
"She's not with Jess," Rory informed him and she noticed how he seemed to relax a little bit. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Josh replied.
"Do you miss her?" Rory asked.
Josh debated lying to her, afterall he knew there was a chance she'd tell Cassie whatever he said. But he also knew that Rory would probably be able to figure out if he was lying.
"Everyday."
Rory nodded before stepping to the side again, essentially telling him to walk into the house. Josh looked around the room, doing his best to put his worries aside then he stepped into the room. He turned around just as Rory closed the front door, eliminating his escape.
"Come on," Rory started walking towards the dining room and Josh followed behind her. "Woah," She gasped softly when she saw Richard and Paris put together.
"Welcome, everyone, to the first official board meeting of the StyleAid Corporation. Will everyone please take a seat?" Richard said and all the group members found a place to sit.
"I feel like Ivan Bosky."
Josh took a seat at the end of the table, awkwardly trying to find a comfortable position to sit in. He looked into the hall, part of him hoping Cassie would walk in.
"Now, at this point, I would like to turn the meeting over to Paris who will bring us up to date on our latest developments," Richard raised his hand gesturing over to Paris.
"Thank you, Richard. First, let me say that I'm glad to see you all here today, at the beginning of what I think is going to be a very exciting experiment," Paris said as she slowly walked around the table.
Brad turned his head, looking over at Josh with worried eyes. "She doesn't have a baseball bat in her hands, does she?"
"Now, I'd like everyone to turn to page one in your presentation booklets," Paris said everyone pulled the books towards them. "Hey," Paris' voice startled both Josh and Brad. But Josh was pleased to learn that she was looking at Brad. "We haven't gotten to the pencil part yet."
"Sorry," Brad apologized quickly as he set his pencil down.
"Well, how is everyone doing in here?" Emily asked as she walked into the dining room.
"Just fine, Emily," Richard told her.
"Good," Emily nodded, having not noticed her Granddaughter's ex-boyfriend sitting at her dining room table. "Is there enough food?"
"Yes, there is plenty of food."
There was a knock on the door and Emily looked away, "Excuse me." Everyone was still looking at their booklets so everyone could hear when Emily got to the front door. "Oh Cassie! We weren't expecting you."
Josh's eyes widened and suddenly all eyes fell onto him. Everyone knew his and Cassie's history, the whole school knew. So they all knew how awkward this would be.
Paris was first to break the silence as she tried to get the group back on track, "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the RX-2002," Paris lifted up their emergency kit.
"Very nice."
Emily walked back into the room, quickly getting Rory's attention. She waved her over and Josh watched as Rory stood up from her chair. Rory quickly excused herself and walked into the foyer, out of Josh's view.
"Now, listed in front of you are all the contents contained in the RX-2002, plus the additional style options, twelve in all," Paris continued trying to keep the group from getting distracted.
Josh let out a short breath, knowing part of the awkwardness was because of him. If he wasn't here Cassie would've just walked in. She wouldn't have to feel awkward in her own grandparent's house. He wanted to get out of his seat but it was like he was glued in. He couldn't bring himself to get up.
"Every one of them waterproof, fireproof, and comes with a five-year warranty," Paris carried on as Rory walked back into the dining room. She sat down, trying to act like nothing happened.
"Which is longer than most of your high school careers," Richard smiled.
It was clear that all of them had decided to carry on like nothing happened. Josh heard the front door open and close again, he knew right away it probably meant Cassie left. He stood up, not saying a word as he went to the front door.
He opened the door, seeing Cassie walking towards the gate.
"Hey!" His voice made her freeze and she slowly turned around, seeing him standing there by the front door.
"Hi?" She looked confused.
"You don't have to leave because of me," He told her. Him still standing by the door and her by the gates.
"I wasn't."
"You weren't?" He asked.
Cassie shook her head, "Rory had my Calc binder. I need it to finish my homework," She told him, holding up the calc binder she had in her hands.
"Oh," Josh laughed awkwardly. "I feel like an idiot."
"I just didn't interrupt the business meeting," Cassie added and when she took a step closer, Josh did too. "I wasn't trying to avoid you."
"Oh," He said again, taking a few more steps towards her. "Well that's good. I don't want you to avoid me."
"No?"
"No."
Cassie sucked in a short breath, "So, uh, how are you?"
"Alright, I guess," Josh answered. "You?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "Good."
"Good. That's good," Josh nodded.
Cassie nodded too, not knowing what else to do. "How's Stella? You guys are dating right?" The second she asked the question she regretted it. She wasn't really sure if she wanted to hear his answer.
"Yeah, yeah. Couple months," Josh told her.
"Months," Cassie repeated. "Wow. Months."
"So Rory told you... about me and Stella?" Josh suddenly felt embarrassed again.
"No. No, I saw it in the cafeteria," She told him.
"Oh Right," Josh looked down, not being able to hold eye contact with her. "Sorry... I should've told you. That's not how you should've found out."
Cassie shook her head, hoping to reassure him. "You didn't have to tell me. It's not my business anymore. That's what happens when you break up, right?" She heard Josh wince when she spoke, like her words caused him physical pain.
"So it's not weird or anything?" Josh asked her.
"No, of course not," Cassie lied, hoping he'd believe her. "People move on, it's normal. In fact, I think it's great."
"You do?" He asked.
She nodded as he took another step closer to her. "You seem happy with her. I don't want you to not be happy. Like I'm not manifesting, uh, unhappiness for you," she told him, choking on her words as she spoke.
"So you want me to be happy?" Josh took another step closer to her. Only then did Cassie notice the distance between them, a distance that only seemed to be getting smaller.
"Right, yeah."
"What if she doesn't make me happy?" Josh stepped towards her.
"What?" Cassie looked up at him, realizing Josh was now right in front of her.
She lifted her head to meet his eyes. Those eyes that she used to be in love with. And he was looking into hers, the eyes he was still in love with.
Neither of them had a chance to say anything because before they could a car was pulling up outside the gate. The moment was over and Cassie was moving away from him so quickly you'd think he had the plague.
Josh knew if that car hadn't pulled up he would've tried to kiss her. Cassie knew it too. He could see the realization in her eyes. If only he had another second, just one more second. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to her to love him the way she used to.
"I guess I should..." Cassie nervously cleared her throat.
Josh nodded as he looked over at Sophie's car which was right outside the gate. "Yeah, yeah. I should probably go back in," He gestured back to Richard and Emily's house.
"Can't keep Paris waiting too long," Cassie nodded as she backed away from him. "I'll see you at school or something."
"Yeah, school or something," He replied.
"Bye Josh," Cassie turned around and headed out the gate.
He watched her get into the car, wishing he had followed her out. But he didn't and his feet were taking him back inside. Just before he walked back into the house he turned around, just as the car drove away.
"Bye Cassie."
a/n: so... that almost happened. How are we feeling? I must know. Personally I'm feeling very conflicted. But that's all for this chapter, I hope everyone was entertained and hopefully a new chapter will be out soon.
[unedited]