For a long time, I refuse to believe that the water has stopped dripping. Surely there is another drop coming, and dread coils in my stomach like a snake waiting to strike. But, at last, the light above my head turns off. I blink my eyes, struggling to take in my surroundings.
I'm exactly where Dr. Averys strapped me in all those hours ago. Everything looks the same, even if my mind feels like it belongs to a stranger, and my usually ordered thoughts are loose and disjointed.
Dr. Rodriguez stares down at me, his face impassive. "Subject failed to activate her genetic variant in response to the stimulus."
"Same result as the rest," Dr. Averys says from somewhere across the room.
Same result...
"Why?" I croak. "If you knew it wouldn't work, why do it?"
Dr. Rodriguez ignores me, as if I really am just a rat in his experiment. But I think I know the answer. This wasn't really about inducing a vision or activating any latent abilities. It was about breaking me. And it's in my best interest if they believe they've succeeded.
Dr. Rodriguez shines a light in each of my eyes, and then unstraps my arm and neck restraints, allowing me to sit up.
"How are you feeling, Joan?"
I swallow the urge to hurl vitriol at this psycho. "Weak...sir."
A real smile stretches across his face. "I had a feeling that you and I would get along better after today's lesson."
"How long was I...?"
"It's been 20 hours. But rest assured, your body was given fluids and nutrients through your IV, so you're not dehydrated."
"Thank you, sir."
His eyes narrow, and I wonder if I've laid it on too thick this time. I blink innocently back at him, summoning Sweet 'Lil Joanie. Just like every other Evolved prick I've used it on, he swallows my performance.
"Are you ready to explain how your genetic mutation manifests?"
I wish that I could say that I'm too drained to come up with a lie, but the truth is that I answer Dr. Rodriguez's question honestly because I'm afraid of what he might do to me if I don't tell him the truth.
"I have these visions where I see little pieces of the future."
Dr. Rodriguez smiles. "Good girl. Anything else?"
"My visions of the future...they don't always come true. Sometimes things change."
Dr. Rodriguez frowns as he considers my answer, and then removes the IV from my arm. "We're going to allow you a rest period now. The Darwin wants you looking well for your interview tomorrow. After that we can start on some of the more strenuous tests."
My fists clench so hard that my knuckles go white. The good doctor notices and jots a note on his tablet. Then he unstraps my ankles, watching me as I rub my sore muscles. He must trust that he's I've been brought to heel and that I won't attack him.
And he's right, I won't leap on him and stab that IV needle into his neck, like I desperately want to. Instead, I force myself to breathe slowly. I'm weak, inside and out, and I don't know if my team has all the information they need yet. I'm not done playing his game.
The white door I entered 20 hours ago opens, and I hobble across the room and back into the pod. The lights lead me to the food dispenser, and I print myself a meal. After forcing it down, I walk to my bed, even though I can see that Ciara and Mikao are in the living area, watching my every move.
I give them a nod so they'll know I'm not totally broken, and then crawl under my covers. My body is desperately tired, but the dread I felt between each drop of water still sits in my stomach. I can't banish it, even as I remind myself that my ordeal is over.
My bed dips as someone sits next to me, and I whip around in shock. Addie looks down at me, her eyes full of something I can't name.
I make a noise more animal than human and wrap her in a crushing hug. "How did you get them to allow you down here?"
Addie strokes my hair and whispers softly into my ear so that her words won't be picked up by any of the cameras recording us. "I outed myself as a spy the day before I knew you'd be here at Strand. It was the only way to get access to this pod, so I could be here with you through it all. They needed someone to do cleaning and other housekeeping for the pod after the last Molly...didn't work out. They think they're killing two birds with one stone by keeping me from escaping while also putting me to work."
I pull away from her. "Addie, why would you do that? They're as likely to kill you as release you."
"Leave that to me. You have your own mission to focus on."
I want to scream and cry at the same time. "You're more important!"
Addie's expression becomes a stern one that I recognize from the times she caught me sneaking out of the house at night to meet up with friends in high school. "I have a plan. I'm in far less danger than you. What happened today?"
"Nothing too terrible," I lie. "I'm unhurt."
Addie touches my wrists. "They restrained you."
"I let them."
She shakes her head. "Lay down, Joan. You need to rest so you're ready for whatever comes next."
I have more questions, more things I want to insist, but my body has other ideas. With Addie beside me, some illogical part of me foolishly thinks I'm safe. The dread has vanished from my stomach, and I'm so tired I can't even summon the energy to sit up.
With Addie's fingers combing through my hair, I fall into a dreamless sleep.
***
I wake before the morning chime, wondering where Addie spent the night. At least she looked fed and well when she was here last night, though I'm ashamed that I didn't ask her more questions about her plans for escape.
After getting ready and heading to the living area, I check my tablet to see the schedule for the day, but it's empty. All I have to go on is Dr. Rodriguez's cryptic comment about an interview that Lexi has planned for me.
"Today shines brighter than yesterday, it seems?" Mikao greets me, his gaze searching.
I nod. Even though my thoughts keep skipping from topic to topic, unable to settle, the dread that was eating me from inside is muted.
"Did you see me when Dr. Rodriguez was giving you your...treatment?"
Mikao takes a long, deep breath. "My treatment was to observe your own. To see if your distress activated my healing abilities."
"Did they?" I can't help asking.
Mikao nods, once. "I was in the sealed corner of the room, prevented from interfering. Know that I tried."
It's dangerous for him to admit that, and my eyes well with tears of gratitude. All my emotions are so close to the surface, and I have to swallow twice to keep from crying.
"Thank you."
The panels around us shift, and a path opens back to the room where I met the Sofia when I first arrived at Strand. Mikao meets my gaze, and then gives a tiny shrug of his shoulders. Whatever Strand has planned for me, it isn't something that even Mikao can guess at.
I follow the lights in the floor out of the pod. The Sofia is waiting for me in her office, and she stands when I enter.
"We need to get you straight to hair and makeup."
"Any chance you could tell me what's happening today?"
"The Darwin has selected you to join her on First Morning Light to talk about the research you're partnering with her on."
"Dr. Rodriguez's torture, you mean?"
It takes effort not to let my disgust show in my expression. Tressa, the host of the morning talk show, is an Evolved supremist of the worst kind. She blindsided Justus when he came on her show and made it seem like he was raised by barbaric Throwback parents and only his superior, un-cloned genetics kept him from a life of poverty and failure.
"What time do we have to be at Tressa's set?" I ask, wondering if Harriet will use my trip to stage an early rescue.
"Tressa has agreed to do the taping in Strand's studios, so there is no need for you to leave the campus. And Blake Greene has kindly prepared some remarks for you, so you don't have to worry about a thing."
It's all I can do to suppress my groan. Blake Greene was the director of the Strand promotional vid I starred in with Nic, and he is a nightmare of a human. If he's writing my lines, they're sure to be syrupy nonsense aimed at making me seem like Strand's perfect lapdog. And with Addie trapped here, all I can do is comply.
On the elevator ride up to the main floor, I'm hit with an intense vision that I instantly recognize as one that will include Lozen. Her contact with me is always brighter and louder than the visions I had outside of Strand.
Lozen's shoulders are hunched, and she clutches her arms around herself, as if she's trying to physically hold herself together. I want to ask her if she's okay, or what her plan might be, but I'm only a passive participant in this interaction.
When her eyes meet mine, they are as sharp as ever. "Steal a hairpin during hair and makeup. Before it's time to leave, ask to use the restroom. In the last stall, you'll find a vent in the corner. Use the hairpin to loosen all the screws holding it to the wall, but don't let it fall off."
I'm yanked back into my body, and the Sofia is staring at me.
"Still a little rattled from my first treatment," I say, and it isn't a lie. "I'm not sure how much more I can take, and it's only been a day."
"Your treatments may seem harsh, but you don't know how lucky you are. It would take years to clone a new group of Joans and raise them to adulthood so that they could access their abilities, so Strand needs you alive. The rest of us must be perfect at all times, and, even then, if we are in the wrong place at the wrong time, we will be retired. We are replaceable. You are special."
Whether it's because I'm still fragile after yesterday's torture, or because the Sofia reminds me of my friends in this moment, I don't have an angry, sarcastic reply for once.
Instead, I grip her hand tightly in my own. "What's your name?"
"Bella McChild."
"Bella, there's no replacing you, or any of us. Remember that when they treat you like you're another cog in their machine, rather than a fully formed person with an inner life and experiences unlike anyone else on Earth."
The doors of the elevator open, revealing Strand's public-facing wing.
"Take today an hour at a time," Bella says. "You'll be OK."
Easy for her to say. Knowing that Lexi and Tressa will be running today's show means that I'll be facing a whole new type of torture—one that I'm even less adept at navigating.