Archie's POV
I roll over and adjust my pillow. I can't sleep. I think it's because we didn't do much today so I'm not tired. I roll over again and kick at my blankets. It's too stuffy in here.
I hear low whispers coming from the other side of the room and lean out from under Ethan's mattress to take a look. It seems to be coming from Zac's bed, but he's very clearly asleep, lying on his side with a deep frown on his face. I almost laugh. He always looks so serious when he sleeps.
I spot the phone held loosely in Zac's hand. I slide quietly out of bed and tiptoe across the room. Zac's fist closes slowly after I remove the phone from his grip. I pause an Avril Lavigne album on his Spotify and replace the phone next to his pillow.
I get back into bed, but I still can't sleep. It all feels wrong: sharing a room with Zac's school friends, sleeping on the same bunk as a total stranger, watching Zac spend all day with some girl. It's not that I have problem with Alice—she seems like a perfectly nice girl—but she's annoying and super clingy; doesn't she have her own friends? I've barely seen Zac all summer because he's so busy. I would never admit it to him, but Zac is the only reason I even come here. Sure, the activities are fun and we get to rock climb and kayak and everything, but I also get to spend time with my best friend. And now my only reason for coming here is ditching me for her. I may have a problem with Alice.
I roll over and pull the covers up to my chin. It's not like I really have a reason. It's none of my business who Zac dates or wants to date. And it's not Alice's fault he's not spending time with me. He has other friends. He's allowed to have other friends. I should stop getting upset about this. Only, I can't. I miss my friend.
I lie on my back and put my hands under my head, staring up at Ethan's bunk. It's not weird that I miss him more than my school friends right now even though he's only on the other side of the room. He's further emotionally. And I've known him way longer than them so it would make sense that we're closer. It's not weird.
Having settled that, my eyelids droop and sleep finally comes.
"Miss me?" Zac saunters over to my bed and sits down next to me.
I grin. "How did you know?"
He leans down to whisper in my ear. "I know everything. About you, anyway."
A shiver runs down my spine. I force a laugh. "You wish," I say nervously. He has leaned back from my ear, but his face is still very close to mine.
He half-laughs and his warm breath tickles my neck. "Yeah, I do."
I don't know what to say to that and that coupled with my words getting stuck in my throat is enough to render me speechless.
"You know I missed you, too, right?" Zac stares at me lovingly, gently brushing my cheek with his thumb. My heart skips a beat.
I hold his gaze, unable to look away. "R-r-really?" I stammer.
He nods. "Let me show you how much." He leans in slowly, covering the small distance with ease.
His lips only brush mine at first, then he leans closer, deepening the kiss. I'm so surprised that my eyes are still open. He grips the back of my neck, pulling me closer. My hands are in his hair and my heart is hammering in my chest, playing out an up-tempo rhythm on my ribcage. Does this mean I like it?
I Love Rock 'N Roll starts playing in the background and Zac returns to a sitting position, pulling me with him. We break apart and while I gasp for air, Zac trails kisses down my neck. That's when I notice I'm shirtless. And he's shirtless. And he might as well be pants-less as well because his shorts do a terrible job of hiding his—
I wake with a start. What the fuck?!
I don't want to get up the next morning. I can't face Zac. I know he doesn't know what happened but I feel like he'll somehow read my mind and know and hate me. Who has a sex dream about their best friend?! It makes no sense. I don't like Zac. And I'm straight. I mean, I've never actually kissed a girl so I don't know but I know, you know?
Oh. My. God. Am I gay?
"Hey," Zac whispers. "You awake?"
I flinch.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Yeah, uh, I'm awake."
He smirks. "I can see that."
"Right." Of course he can, you idiot.
"Anyway, we're about to go get breakfast. You wanna come?"
I shrug, not really wanting to. I need some time to think. A lot of time.
"Okay. See you later?" he asks hopefully.
I just nod, knowing I'll regret it later.
Zac leaves, followed by everyone else. Ethan is the only other person still in the room and judging by the sound of his gentle breathing, he's still asleep.
I put my pillow over my face and scream into it in frustration. There's no way I like Zac like that. We've known each other for years and I've never felt anything towards him before. Either my unconscious is trying to tell me about a recent development or it's trying to mess with me. I mean, that would never really happen; Zac whispering in my ear, and holding me, and trying to kiss me...
I feel something shift under the covers. That's new.
Ethan's bed creaks and my head snaps upward. He climbs down and reaches under the bed for his suitcase. His eyebrows shoot up when he sees me. "You're still here?"
I nod.
He shrugs. "Okay. I'm going to breakfast." Ethan gets changed and heads for the door.
Becky catches the door as Ethan leaves and knocks on the doorframe. "Hey. I didn't see you in the mess hall. You feeling okay?"
I shrug.
"Okay...Do you still want to do something today?"
I don't know. Spending time with Becky is definitely better than spending time with Zac right now. "Sure," I sigh.
"You don't sound so sure."
"I am." I force myself to get out of bed. "Let's go."
Becky smiles and follows me out the door. I don't even care that I'm still in my pyjamas.
"So..." Becky says, fishing for conversation topics. "Did you sleep okay?"
"Yeah. You?"
She shrugs. "I guess. My cabinmates were up until midnight trying to get this TikTok perfect. Sometimes I wish we didn't have Wi-Fi out here."
I laugh. "Are you kidding? We should switch cabins. There's never Wi-Fi in ours." The few times I tried to use it at least.
Becky grins. "Maybe I'll take you up on that." She sighs. "Can we just walk and talk? I don't really feel like doing anything else."
I'm relieved to hear that. I don't really feel like doing anything right now either. "Sounds good."
"Great."
Becky and I veer onto a path that goes around the lake. It's quiet since everyone else is at breakfast.
"Have you eaten?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "No. I'm not hungry."
"Me neither."
"Really?" she says with interest. "Is there something wrong?"
Yes. "No."
"Oh. Okay." Becky smiles quickly and then lowers her eyes to the path. She sounds almost disappointed.
"Are you okay?"
She shrugs. "Can't complain."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I mean, my life's great, but..." she trails. "You'll think it's stupid."
I lean down, trying to catch her eye. "I promise I won't."
"I think Paul is ghosting me."
Paul, her boyfriend, is clearly a jerk. Becky is one of the nicest people ever. Maybe she's not my type, but she could easily be just about anyone else's. "He can't be ghosting you. Why would he do that?"
"Maybe he wants to break up." Becky plays with her fingers, eyes downcast.
"Don't say that. You're awesome and he's lucky to have you. Give him a chance to explain before you jump to conclusions. Like you said, Wi-Fi's bad, so maybe he can't reach you."
She looks up at me and blurts, "Are you gay?"
My eyes widen. "What?! Why would you—No, I'm—Why do you think I'm—I'm not gay," I splutter.
"Oh. Sorry," Becky whispers, cheeks turning pink.
"It's...It's okay," I say gently.
She nibbles her lip contemplatively before explaining. "I just thought maybe...You know, because you were being so nice..." She smiles apologetically. "I guess it's just me having a big head. I-I thought since you didn't want me to break up with Paul..."
"It's okay," I repeat. "I don't like you like that, but even if I did, I wouldn't want you to break up with your boyfriend. Break ups are hard and unnecessarily painful. I wouldn't want you to hurt like that." Not that I know. I've never been through a break up.
Becky smiles softly before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around me. "Thank you, Archie."
By now we've passed the furthest point of the lake and started around the other side, facing back the way we came. Over Becky's shoulder, I can see Zac and Alice sitting by the jetty, waiting for the others. Zac lifts a hand to wave but I can't bring myself to wave back. I wonder if he thinks this is some sort of double date; him and Alice and me and Becky. I scowl at the thought.
Becky pulls back and sees my expression. "Are you okay?" She follows my gaze to Zac and smiles sympathetically. "I know."
"You...do?"
"Yeah. Being left out sucks."
I sigh. She doesn't know.
I'm not even sure I know.
A/N:
Hi, guys. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was another short one. I'm hoping they'll get longer as I go.
So, I know it wasn't technically a sex dream, but to Archie it might as well have been because he was dreaming about his best friend and a guy and everything. I just wanted to clarify that.
Anyway, thanks for reading :)
- Zoe