~Ayla~
"Wow, he really did not do well in school," I commented, peeking over Killian's shoulder at the screen in his lap. Logan Rivera's high school report card was dismal at best. He'd barely passed enough to graduate.
I could tell being cooped up was making Killian agitated, so I'd offered my laptop to him to give him access to the alpha database. I'd done some digging into the warriors we were housing already but hadn't found anything incriminating, unsurprisingly. While I loved to think Alpha Cox was an idiot, he'd have to be really stupid to plant assassins with any sort of easily accessible, suspicious history onto my territory.
Minutes after I'd logged into the database and handed my laptop off to Killian, I'd realized I was giving Kilian access to information every assassin dreamed of having. He could explore all current and past pack ties of any werewolf, half-breed, and even human ally in this country.
What surprised me the most was the ease with which I entrusted it to him. This transgression likely fell into the realm of treason, and the council could quite literally demand my head for it if they found out. They never would. I knew with certainty Killian would never mention this to anyone.
"Didn't you mention something about having meetings today?" Killian asked, clearly irritated by my presence.
I shrugged. "Rescheduled one. The other is much later."
He sighed, finally bringing his eyes away from the laptop to meet mine. My breath caught in my throat. Ever since this morning, my body had been on edge around him. The line of tension between us had been pulled taut.
Killian's lips pursed, and it took all my willpower to stop myself from looking at his mouth. I was already embarrassed at how needy I'd been earlier. I absolutely could not allow myself to imagine what kissing him would feel like.
"You didn't need to do that," he said, and for a second, I couldn't remember what it was I had last said.
"And have someone wander up here? Too risky."
"You're the only one that's been up here in a while. All the other scents have gone stale."
A sardonic laugh escaped me. Leave it to Killian Murray to accidentally wave my loneliness into my face. Most people around my age in the pack were close acquaintances of mine; it was hard to not know everyone well when you quite literally have known them since you were born, yet outside of Saleem, I didn't have what I considered a solid friendship in this pack.
I watched as Killian's eyes narrowed. "Seems like lover boy has decided to come freshen his up."
If I hadn't also caught the growing scent of Saleem, I would have needed clarification. Lover boy? Seriously? As I slipped out my door to meet Saleem in the hall, I gave Killian a scathing glare.
"What's he doing up here?" Saleem immediately asked, clearly on edge and with the smallest hint of disdain in his voice.
Having expected Saleem's usual indirect way of going about things, I was stunned for a second. Saleem looked angry, and I had never seen Saleem angry.
"He came to discuss something with me. I asked too many questions, everyone decided to go on a walk today, and alas, he's stuck here for the time being." It wasn't necessarily a lie. I was becoming good at the art of the half truth, and I hated it. I'd always been someone that spoke her mind, so lying of any sort didn't sit well with me.
Saleem nodded, seemingly accepting, but I could see his clenched jaw still ticking.
"Did you catch his scent from downstairs or..." I trailed off as I suddenly felt awkward knowing Killian could likely hear the conversation.
He shook his head and gently grabbed my hand by my fingers. "I just wanted to come see you. You haven't come over to hang out in a while."
I felt awful immediately. Saleem was my only real friend here, and I'd been so busy with Killian and the assassination attempts that we hadn't even had a good conversation in a long time.
"You're right," I agreed. "I'm sorry. We can watch a movie tonight? We never finished our Lord of the Rings marathon. I can be free if you're free."
"Always." Saleem smiled.
He was typically so reserved that most people never noticed his smiles, but I'd learned to pick out even the slightest upturns at the corners of his mouth.
"Perfect," I smiled back. "I'll come over after the pack dinner?"
"That works." He squeezed my hand and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to leave.
I waited for him to begin descending the stairs before I slid my room door open just enough for me to fit back through.
Killian hadn't moved from his spot on the chair and didn't bother to go through the immense trouble of glancing up when I slipped in.
I scoffed. It's almost like he thought his little "loverboy" comment was not petty nonsense.
"You know what would be nice?" I began as my hands came up to my hips. "I would really appreciate it if you two could just get along with each other and stop with this bullshit."
When Killian didn't dain to shift his attention from my laptop, I continued. "Loverboy? What the hell is your problem? He's not some lovesick child. He's an adult and one that is damn good at what he does. His name is Saleem. Use it."
Killian shut the laptop and placed it against the side of my armchair in one quick motion. "My problem with him," Killian declared, leaning back into the chair and crossing his ankles as if this all amused him greatly, "is that he's exactly that. A lovesick child. And he's not good at what he does. If he had been, I would have been dead before we met."
"That's not fair to say. You're an assassin, Killian, and you have a very accurate scent replica. That's outside of the realm of most tracker's capabilities."
He scoffed. "He has the capability. He just doesn't have the focus. Instead of doing his job, he spends too much of his time trying to get you to love him back."
"See that's where you're wrong. We've been friends for a very long time. He doesn't love me like that."
"You sure about that?"
"I'm sure. He doesn't."
Killian stared so pointedly at my cheek that I had to stop myself from reaching up to wipe it. There's no way he knew Saleem had just kissed me there; it's not like the man wore lipstick. Besides, Saleem had always been a touchy person with me. A kiss goodbye on the cheek meant nothing to him.
"He doesn't," I repeated.
"You know, you always have a lot to say when you know you're right but very little to say when you know you're wrong."
Stunned, my lower jaw dropped open slightly.
"There's nothing wrong with you two being in love," Killian said. "I just think he should either make an effort to keep his love life and duties separate or give up his position."
"We're not... I don't..."
Killian was right; I was at a loss for words.
"While you may not love him now," Killian's voice turned soft as suddenly as his coffee eyes turned sympathetic, "I think you could, in the future, and there would be nothing wrong with that, as long as he gets his act together."
I was angry. I was confused. I was disappointed. All my interactions with Saleem had begun to play out in my head, and I felt very, very stupid and very, very insensitive.
"I can't," I said after a while of silence. "I won't ever."
Killian understood without needing any elaboration. "Well, why not?"
"He's my friend. I don't think I'd ever see him that way," I said simply, when really I meant 'he couldn't ever compare to you.'
I didn't love Killian, but I could see why we were mates. I needed someone that challenged me, someone that didn't just back down when I tried to stomp all over them. Saleem would never be that person for me.
Killian was quiet.
Needing a moment alone to think, I announced, "I'm going to work in my office. I need to prepare for my afternoon meeting."
~~~
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I finally got over some serious writer's block I was having at a spot later on in the story, so I'm going to attempt to post on a regular bi-weekly schedule. I like to be pretty ahead in my writing. Sometimes I'll go and re-write scenes many chapters before the one I'm working on just so I can set the future scene right. This chapter is an example of that. There were things I wish I could've added into earlier chapters, but when I was writing this chapter, I had already posted the ones I wanted to edit. I'm telling you all this because I want you to know that I will complete this book, even if it is at an irregular pace. I promise.
Question of the week: What do you need in a significant other? Someone who challenges you, someone who likes to remind you of all the things they like about you? Better yet, what's your love language?