lately everything that motivated me and kept me going doesn't motivate me anymore so it's like i'm just doing everything on autopilot- like an empty void just walking around n doing stuff
school starts tomorrow so idk how far i can go, life's been harder to live as it goes on, not even music helps me feel better
nothing helps me anymore, but at least i have u horny bitches with me :>
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She had asked her out, sort of. She had insinuated that it might be nice to go to her place after they closed the bar. She hadn't really meant to, but the thought of another night in her stark white apartment, heating up 2 day old take out, made her feel like a slowly sinking tug boat.
So that's how she had found herself with her coworker sitting on her shitty iKEA couch, looking tired, but beautiful in the pink hue of the LED lights her roommate had put up, calling it mood lighting. He wasn't wrong. Jennie's long brown hair is starting to fall out of her top knot, framing her soft face in just a way that made Jisoo want to stare at her for hours. Which she felt like she might end up doing, because she never planned out this sort of thing.
The tension in between Jisoo's shoulder blades wouldn't go away, and small talk was just not flowing between them. She wanted to skip to the part where she was touching her, where another human body was touching hers.
"Are you in school?" Jisoo asks, already knowing the answer, not because she was a creep, but because the bartender intrigued her since she had started working there 6 months ago.
Jennie shakes her head, her soft smile faltering for a second. Jisoo doesn't understand the reaction, quickly pushing down the curiosity that bubbles up in her. She was nosy, and Jennie seemed like the type to disengage if she pushed too hard on any one thing.
"What do you like to do." Jisoo follows up, desperate to fill the silences with something.
"Read." Unsurprising, she rarely sees her without a book in her bag or hands.
"What genre?"
"Anything really, mostly fiction."
"Cool.. Cool.." Jisoo says lamely, her face pulled into a fake smile, her voice coming out unsure. " sorry... I'm not good at this."
"You're fine... I'm just not really made for this." Jennie looks at her, her brown eyes holding something unspoken. "Humans are... confusing"
"Is this when you tell me you are a hundred year old vampire?" Jisoo let the joke slip out before she could really refine it, before she had even thought about it really.
"No," she says, smiling in a far off way, her gaze on some obscure part of her wall. Jennie's eyes attached to her suddenly, and it was the first time Jisoo felt like she was seeing a light behind them. "like the world isn't really made for any of us, it's broken and dirty, but for a few people, it's manageable."
"Only manageable, that's sort of sad."
"For people more like you. People who are good at this, people who can navigate the suck and somehow still have hope intact at the end of the day." Jennie leaned forward, her sudden intensity surprising her. It's like she had struck on something very important and intrinsic to her. "That's not me"
"You seem to navigate" Jisoo ventures, knowing instinctively that Jennie wasn't looking for pity, but just explaining something she had come to realize about herself.
"I cope. I can't help it with the way the world is, but it makes it hard to commit to much of anything."
"I didn't know things were like that for you" Jisoo smiles softly, feeling like she was seeing behind some curtain, her normally quiet coworker showing her what she was away from the noise of the nightlife. "you always seem so... not happy, but, you're funny, and calm."
"I hide well." She says, a pensive look on her face, she tips her beer back, finishing off the last bit of warm beer. The swirl of the two beers she had already had and the intense loneliness that settled into her chest cavity, wrapping tightly around her lungs, a constant reminder of what she was not. She leans on Jennie's shoulder, initiating touch, unable to keep herself from feeling someone, anyone. She's astonished that she allows her to stay there as they slip into a comfortable silence.
"I'm not looking for commitment." Jisoo whispers, feeling the liquid courage spill out of her suddenly.
"Perfect." Jennie says, and it's like she was just given the green light, which perhaps she had been. She tips Jisoo's chin up, and she thinks she's going to kiss her, but she tilts to the side, attacking her neck with kisses. Jisoo is reminded of her dumb joke when she feels her teeth graze across her jugular, and for a dizzying second she thinks she somehow ended up in some strange version of twilight.
"Is this ok?" Jennie says, bringing Jisoo's focus back to her lips, which are very close to her lips. It takes her a second to realize she is undoing the top button of her sweater, revealing the top of her bra and the skin underneath.
"Yes." Jisoo breathes, undoing the rest of the buttons herself and shrugging out of it, as Jennie kisses what feels like every part of her, her hands on her waist squeezing the flesh there.
"Kiss me." Jisoo whispers into her ear.
"Patience." The answer is muffled under her skin as Jennie starts sucking a mark on her neck. Normally Jisoo wouldn't allow it, wouldn't want marks showing for everyone at the bar to gossip about. Jennie was different for some reason.
"Uggh" a mixture of a moan and sigh of exasperation slips out before she can stop it. She can feel Jennie smile against the skin of her neck, the mischievous little shit.
"Kiss me or I'm going to lose it." Jisoo hears the begging in her voice, and apparently that was all she needed to do to remedy this situation. Her lips are on hers a second later and she tastes like vanilla chapstick and light beer.
She feels the heat start to puddle in her, the desire finally taking shape. She had brought Jennie here for one reason, the way she looked at her with such open desire, her eyes grazing over her body with interest. It had been too long since she felt the touch of someone else, felt any hands other than her own on her.
Jisoo's hand slips up her skirt, not surprised to find her already wet, ready for her.
"Oh... oh." Jennie says.
"You first." Jisoo says gleefully, liking the surprise she saw on her face.
Jennie looks like she wants to protest, to push her down and make her scream for her over and over, and Jisoo wanted that (oh god she needed that), but first she wanted to treat her. She smirked at her, which seemed to rile her, she tangled her hand in a fist full of Jisoo's red hair, bringing her in for a bruising kiss.
She knew from rumors that Jennie was giving, dominant to almost a fault, unwilling to relinquish control, which suited her just fine. She didn't need to be in control for this.
"Tell me what to do." She whispered against her neck as her hands roamed her back, nails grazing down her spine, sending a shiver up her back. Jennie captured her lips again, tugging her hair the slightest bit, Jisoo can't help but moan at the sudden pain.
"On your knees" she rasps, her breath already heavier than before.
She dropped to her knees without hesitation, sliding off the couch, settling in between Jennie's legs as she shimmied off her skirt leaving only her black underwear. It was plain, conventional, nothing like the
lacy, red affair she had slipped into while she left for a restroom break earlier. Jennie's legs close again with a smirk on her face.
"Can you open these, please..." Jisoo looks up at her, a smile playing on her lips. Jennie is in charge, and she wants Jisoo to know that.
"You ask so nicely." She says in that deep voice that makes her head spin a little.
"Please." She whines, and sees it hit just the right notes for Jennie.
She kisses the soft skin on the top of her thighs, and her legs open slowly for her. She touches lightly between her thighs, exploring how she reacts to touch. Her body relaxes as she runs her hands up and down on the dark fabric. She grips her thigh tightly with her other hand.
"Can I?" She asks, pulling lightly at the fabric. A curt nod is her reply. She pulls them down, and pulls her hips forward gently, bringing her closer.
She kisses down her thighs, teasing her like she had teased her earlier, taking her time, paying attention to everywhere except where she knew Jennie needed her to. Jennie grunts, and she knows it's frustration, and smiles. She finally focuses on her center, on the place she knows is aching to be touched, kissing, and then flipping her tongue on her core. She continues to grip her thighs as she starts to arch her back against her.
"God.."
Jennie's hand tangles in fire red hair again, pushing her further into herself. Jisoo liked the slight pain when she pulled slightly too hard.
The noises she is making were high pitched, which surprised her, she had always thought of her as a deep well, her voice lower than most. She quickened her pace as Jennie started to get louder, and buck against her. She liked the way she tasted. She had forgotten how good someone could taste when you have been lusting after them for weeks.
"Jisoo." She was breathless and sweating when she came, she could feel the rushing of blood, and her face being crushed between her thighs. She felt a tug on her hair and released the pressure.
"Fuck. I wasn't expecting that," Jennie says, voice heavy with exhaustion.
Jisoo kisses at the delicate skin on her stomach, peppering her legs and thighs again, wanting to worship every part of her. She was about to get up, to crawl into her lap, but she wasn't quite satisfied that she had left a lasting impression on Jennie.
"I think I could stay here all day." She teases, opening her up again, her lips grazing just above her still sensitive core. Jennie shudders, a whine slipping from her lips. She teases her again, pressing her tongue flat, then curving it around, Jennie jolting against her, letting out uninhibited moans now, unable to control herself in her pleasure.
Her tongue dips deep inside her, and Jennie's almost silent gasps tell Jisoo she's almost there. Her thighs are clamped tight around her face again as she coaxes another shuddering orgasm out of her, her name on her lips again, begging for release.
She finishes, and Jisoo smiles up at her, still on her knees, wiping her face. She looks completely undone. Her hair had lost its fight with gravity, falling loosely at her shoulders now, a big perplexed smile on her face.
"Did I do well?" Jisoo asks, knowing the answer, but waiting to be praised.
"You did great." Jennie says, her tone almost disbelieving. She pushes herself up on her elbows, her grin permanently plastered on her face. "Give me a second. I don't really remember how to think."
"I'm fine," Jisoo says with a smirk. She knows she's good, loves to surprise people with just how good she can make them feel. Satisfying someone, feeling their body move under hers was all she had wanted, all she had needed to fill in the spot where she kept her loneliness. She gets to her feet, about to go get Jennie some water and perhaps another beer for the both of them when Jennie catches her wrist.
"That's not how this works babe" and Jennie is already pulling her onto her lap, unhooking her bra with godly speed.
Jisoo gasps as her teeth run against her recently freed breast, her hands greedily slipping up her skirt and under the lace.
Hungry is the only way she could describe being fucked by Kim Jennie. That and a dozen other synonyms for satisfying. Her mouth felt like it was on every part of her as she gently guided her onto her long fingers, a hand on her hip moving them up and down for her.
"Fuck me" Jisoo stammered as she moves herself up and down on her fingers, feeling herself tighten around them.
"Shhh..." she says, a smirk on her face as she kissed her again, still grasping her hip. Jisoo can't think about anything when her long fingers start to corkscrew, pushing something between a moan and a scream out of her lips.
"That's it baby." She says as Jisoo shudders through her climax, her energy completely spent, her face and chest covered with a thin veil of sweat. Jisoo likes the sound of her voice, she likes being in her arms as she slowly pulls her fingers out from inside her, kissing Jisoo's neck as she slumps against her chest. She nestles by her neck until her breathing is back to normal.
"We have to do that again." Jennie says after a minute of silence.
"I thought you didn't do commitment." She looks at her, surprised to see the slightest bit of shyness creeping across her face. It's gone a second later, but the endearing feeling fluttering up in Jisoo's chest stays.
"I'm committed to fucking you again... and again." She says with a brashness that makes Jisoo just the slightest bit turned on despite the tiredness that settled in her bones. The naked desire of the statement.
All Jisoo does is laugh in reply and she can tell by the way she feels in her embrace that she would say yes anytime she asked. Kim Jennie was dangerous, the type of danger that would have you scream-crying on the bathroom floor. She is the type she could fall in love with, and be heartbroken by and still come back for more.
But Jisoo was ready for the ride.
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2328 words
~!CONVERTED!~
claim if yours :)