chapter twelve
❛we are the same (it's perfectly strange you run in my veins)❜
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You're late to Kazuya's birthday dinner.
An entire half hour late, to be exact.
The collective joke around Kazuya's dating and flirting skills when you were younger (and still now, to be honest) was that he sucked at it. Terribly. Considering his nasty personality and overall not great interpersonal skills, that's just how the cards fell. Of course, despite that, he made it work, because of course he did. But you...
Well. You might turn out to be the one accepting the 'World's Worst Girlfriend (And Best Friend)' award by the end of the night.
You groan at the thought.
You got held up on the way, because of course you did. No rest for the wicked and no rest for you, either.
"Look, I'm almost there," you say, the restaurant in sight, as well as the apartment building next to it. You stashed your things there earlier for efficiency's sake.
"Hey, I'm not the one you have to explain yourself to," comes Hiromi's slightly too-smug voice over the comms.
"Thanks, D. Really."
They just snicker.
You two upgraded to this kind of communication after everything in September. It helps keep you updated but their teasing is unavoidable, too. Yeah, after breaking the ice, they and Kazuya get along like a house on fire. (He takes the role of annoying older brother very seriously, too, which endears you to a stupid point.)
You land silently on the roof of the apartment building, then peek over the edge into the alley. Past the fire escapes jutting out to the side and the dumpster for the restaurant, it is empty, except for -
"Well, look who it is."
You grimace, looking down at Kazuya standing there with his hands tucked in the pockets of his jacket. Late November brings cold temperatures and harsh wind chills, the leaves turning brown and brittle as the trees shed them. Tonight, the full moon is hidden behind thick clouds.
A chilly breeze ruffles his hair. He peers up at you with a blank look on his face that makes guilt stab at you. You're about to drop down into the alley to grovel when he speaks.
"Oh, Spider-Woman," he starts, expression morphing as he pretends to be downtrodden with an undeniable and familiar sense of mischief. "Won't you come down and console me? You see, my girlfriend and best friend of over a decade didn't show up for my birthday dinner. I just don't think I deserve that kind of treatment."
Tension leaves your shoulders and you bite your lip to withhold a laugh. You leap, balancing nimbly on the rail of the top-most fire escape, then jump, extending a hand to the bottom of the fire escape, web tethering it to you. The fire escape holds your weight as you flip upside down, both hands wrapped around the web, your knees bent.
Slowly, you lower yourself until you're face to face but upside down, with him watching you with an amused smile and a warm gaze.
"Sorry."
Nothing more to be said. You both know it'll happen again.
You try, you do, but sometimes, there are situations that you cannot ignore.
He shrugs, oddly nonchalant about it. He usually likes to give you a little hell about it (mostly in good fun, since he just likes to be difficult sometimes).
You put that to the side for the moment and add, "You didn't have to come out and wait, either."
"No," he says, scratching his neck, huffing a little. "That's not why. This is just a bonus."
You squint, watching him. If not for you, then...
"Narumiya came, didn't he."
A tempting pout forms on his lips and he rolls his eyes; you watch a familiar childlike sense of annoyance form on his face.
"Yeah, he did. Have no idea how the hell he found out but I don't even care. He's in there hogging all the attention. Attention hogger. It's my birthday dinner, not his. The nerve of him."
"I can set him straight, if you'd like." You couldn't, not really, not in a way you'd like to, but you have it on good authority that the spider bite made you a little more off-putting
"Off-putting? What does that even mean?" you had asked when Eijun said it.
He scratches his head. The two of you are feeding the cats dinner now. One of them, a more domesticated one named Miko, curls around your legs, purring.
"Remember when we used to have those arguments about us helping you with your night work?"
"Yeah?"
"Sometimes, when we really upset you, you got kind of... scary. Or maybe not scary. Just, y'know, off-putting. Dangerous, I guess."
"I would never -"
Eijun smiles at you. "I know, senpai. We know that, too. But it doesn't change the fact that we feel it sometimes. Like... I dunno, like when it's nighttime and the street is quiet and you feel a little on-edge."
The warning of something primal, ancient, a leftover of your biology. Their biology, to be certain, and the cause of your own that was altered by the spider-bite.
You understand.
But just because you understood didn't mean you didn't find it mildly upsetting, especially when you two went inside and you asked the others if it was true.
It was true, but...
"We know you won't do anything," Wakana says again.
"I think we could all take you, anyway," Youichi says, before stuffing a handful of shrimp chimps into his mouth, his eyes on the TV. "Like if you tried to kill us or something, I think we could all take you with combined efforts."
"That's really great. Thanks."
Kazuya shrugs when you look at him. "I notice it. But fear isn't quite what I'm feeling -"
"That's fucking gross, Miyuki, can it. No one wants to know that."
"She should."
"Jesus Christ."
It's an undeniable facet of you now, though. And it's not like it isn't useful when you're out there, either. You'd rather no one close to you feel it, even if unintentional but you can't do anything about it. You're just more aware of it, making sure to be cautious if any of you get in an argument or something.
You would hardly mind utilizing it on Narumiya Mei, though.
"If only," he mutters, scuffing his shoe on the ground, then looking back to you, gaze sparking in a familiar way that has your stomach clenching. "Anyway. I don't want to talk about Mei."
"No? What do you want to do, then?"
"This."
He reaches for your mask. You let yourself drop down a few more inches as he rolls it above your lips. Blissful cool air rushes in, touching the exposed skin, but then Kazuya is in your space, warm lips on yours.
You savor the feel of his hands on your jaw, the shiver that runs through him when you drag your teeth over his bottom lip.
You kiss him for another minute, tasting the shochu he's had already, something sharp and sweet, then murmur, "I'll make it up to you."
"Yes," he breathes. "You will."
The next press of his lips is harder, a little less controlled, his fingers curling over the edge of your mask, not moving it, but just needing to hold on it.
You're considering letting go of the web to get your feet on the ground and push him against the wall when the back of your neck tingles - hide - and you pull away instantly, cursing quietly as he tries to chase your lips.
"Gotta go," you whisper, pressing one last kiss to his lips, fixing your mask, twisting your body so you're on the ground; you grab your bag that you stowed away, then leap. You pull the webbing with you, unsticking it, then use the wall and the fire escapes to flip back onto the roof. You land right as you hear someone call Kazuya's name.
Not just any someone, but a familiar annoying voice.
"Don't tell me you're out here moping about her."
"Actually, I was just trying to catch a break from seeing and hearing you. There goes that, I guess."
Narumiya laughs. "Don't be like that, Kazuya! I'm much better company than she is, you know. You should be grateful."
You roll your eyes. Classic Narumiya. He was a common nuisance when you guys were younger. For Kazuya, an excellent pitcher but one with a mouth that could push even him to the edge of his patience. For you, just an annoying boy who would never stop bothering you or Kazuya. Maybe some jealousy, too.
The thought makes you pause.
If it's like that for you...
Huh.
"Oh," Kazuya sighs, wistful. "I wish she was here. If only so I could get the pleasure of watching her tear you a new one."
You grin at that, shaking your head. You don't know if he knows you're still here. Ideally, you should go to the next alley over, change, and come here but your curiosity gets the best of you like always.
"Oh, please," Narumiya scoffs, sounding annoyed now. "There's nothing to be scared of. She's your shadow. I'm not scared of shadows, Kazuya."
"Mei," Kazuya says pleasantly in a way that makes your senses prickle. "I know you bank on our history to cover you when you say stupid shit like that, but that excuse is quickly becoming tiring. Your surprise appearance is the latest annoyance on a long list today, so, watch how you talk about her. Got it?"
God, you're gonna make it up to him. You're gonna make it so up to him.
Face warm and chest buzzing pleasantly, you turn and leave, ignoring Narumiya's snappy response about leaving anyway since the food isn't even that good. You have to laugh.
Classic Narumiya.
You drop into a nearby alley, change into heeled over-the-knee boots, a pair of jeans and a cashmere cream sweater, then pop into the nearest bathroom to freshen up your appearance. You don't have the time to apply your makeup - which sucks because you did bring your makeup bag with you, hoping you'd patrol quickly then come back and get ready - so you settle with quickly applying lip gloss then heading out.
You bump right into Narumiya on the sidewalk.
His eyes narrow at you.
But you have to pretend you had no idea he was even here in Japan.
"Narumiya," you say, raising an eyebrow. "Didn't know you were back in the country."
He glowers at you, deciding to forgo formalities, as usual. "You don't deserve him. Being late to his birthday dinner -"
"At least I didn't crash it," you say lightly. "But let's be real. You say I don't deserve him but do you?"
Narumiya just harrumphs and walks away, shoulder checking you.
Attempting to, anyway. You should ease up, let your body go with it, but you don't, allowing your shoulder to catch his roughly if only to hear him curse and stumble.
You resume your walk to the restaurant, pleased.
In front of the entrance, Kazuya waits for you.
He turns when he hears your footsteps. "Did you hear -"
"Everything," you say, before grabbing the front of his jacket and hauling him against you to press a bruising kiss on his mouth. You weren't going to, if only for your lip gloss, but seeing him again after bumping into Narumiya sends a pleasant fluttery feeling through you.
You pull away after a breath. His eyes are wide, a shade darker, lips shining faintly from yours.
"Let's go," you say, taking his hand and using your other to clean up your lips for any errant streaks of lip gloss.
Rendered speechless like he usually is when you let some of your control slip, he follows without a word.
-
You and Kazuya's relationship is no surprise to anyone that knows you two in any kind of capacity.
For example, Tetsu told you all that Kataoka and Rei were not at all surprised upon learning it from him.
(You wanted to know why on earth he thought it was okay to mention it; Tetsu said the magazines were already talking about it, which was tragically true.)
In any case, according to him, after hearing the news, Kataoka had grunted and nodded, not looking surprised (or showing any emotion at all) while Rei had murmured Finally in a particularly long-suffering tone of voice.
Everyone else, including your old upperclassmen, plainly told you they had a running betting pool about it. Most of the old team did. Some expired, with certain people like Shirasu and Nori believing Kazuya would come to his senses in your third year of high school. Others, like Youichi and Sachiko, gave you a far wider margin of error (embarrassingly enough).
With all that said, upon you and Kazuya returning to Iriya for winter break, your parents (and his dad, he will tell you later) are not at all surprised.
In fact -
"We knew as soon as it happened," your mom tells you matter-of-factly later that night.
You blink. "I'm... sorry?"
"Youichi told us," your dad adds. "We were in on the bet."
"What."
"Oh, don't be like that," he chuckles. "We like to have our fun, too."
"Still having it, actually," your mom says, pleased.
"Is that... is that some weird euphemism to sex, which, gross, if it is, or are you saying -"
"There's another one," your mom says, nodding. "This one is for when you two will get married. Youichi and Wakana think you'll do next year in September, so a year since you got together. Eijun and Haruichi think you'll do it only after Kazuya's first season with whichever team signs him. And your father and I think it'll happen after the two of you get settled in the States, so, oh, about a year from now? A little bit more? Certainly before the season starts."
You put your face in your hands. "You guys are the worst."
"Oh, don't be embarrassed. It's just a fact for you two."
"But that's a little outrageous? Shouldn't - shouldn't you be telling us to take our time? To... I don't know, wait?!"
Your dad snorts. "How long did you two wait to get together? Given that track record, we think it's best to nudge things along."
"Besides, you've known him for much longer," your mom adds. "That's basically marriage. You two know everything about each other. A lot of couples don't have that privilege. Don't get us wrong, you don't need to rush into it, but try not to wait until you're thirty or something, okay?"
"Jesus Christ."
"Okay. I'm glad we had this talk."
"Jesus Christ."
You have to take a cold shower to get your face back to a normal temperature. After that, you hide in your old room, scared about what else your parents might bring up. God, you guess you wouldn't be surprised if they had a running bet on when you two had kids.
If you have kids. You don't know. A lot of the future, at least regarding that, like settling down and stuff, is up in the air. Not just because of Spider-Woman but also because of how it's altered you at the genetic level. How... some of those things might or might not carry over. You haven't been to the doctors since. You don't get sick at all anymore and you're in peak health but still. If you did get to that stage, it would be unavoidable, wouldn't it?
Ohhh, you're going to stop thinking about it.
That's in the future. Way later.
For now, you can stew in your embarrassment about your parents and everyone else's apparent perspectives on how quickly you and Kazuya are going to do things.
Marriage. They're insane.
You grumble about this as you shuffle through your things on your desk, fishing around for your planner, the pack of post-op instructions the doctors gave Kazuya for the surgery, and a dry-erase marker.
You lean up to mark down the dates on the whiteboard calendar above the desk, the edge digging into your hips as you glance between your planner and the calendar. While physical therapy helped mitigate the pain in his shoulder, the tear is still there and will still be there until it either gets worse or he gets surgery.
Ever the pragmatic one, knowing the things that baseball in the States will demand of him, he chose to go through with it, anyway. The staff on the team didn't disagree with him.
It's the third week of December and the surgery is scheduled for the twenty-seventh. He'll have a long, long road to recovery in front of him but Chris, having flown in for his family since he, too, is in the States playing for the big leagues, promised to come and help him with it until he had to leave again, which wouldn't be until next year in February.
Kazuya has good prospects for recovery. There is little doubt that he won't get back to baseball. Because of that, teams are still interested in him, and you, by proxy. More than a couple job offers from MLB teams have landed in your email inbox. You two have to look over them, since the fine print to these offers is that he will join those teams, too.
You write that down in the margins of the calendar, then mark out the days for the surgery and the time you're supposed to be there, too.
You ease back, capping the dry-eraser marker and setting your planner down as well.
Tap. Tap-tap-tap.
The noise scares the shit out of you. You whirl around, eyes narrowing as you find Kazuya standing a few feet away from your window, tossing pebbles at it. He visibly laughs.
You shake your head, going over to quietly unlock and slide the window open.
To annoy you, you're sure, he throws one last pebble right as it lifts above your face. You snatch it before it can hit you, letting it fall between the roses in the bush below your window. Frigid air rushes in, the sky dark and murky; Tokyo is set for a few inches of snow over the next few days. Goosebumps break out over your exposed arms and legs. You start to regret your cold shower.
"What are you doing?"
He shrugs, smirking, his hands tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. His breath comes out white when he next speaks.
"Have I mentioned how much I like those shorts on you?"
"Yes, you have."
"Just making sure." He scratches his cheek, then leans back to squint down at the rose bush beneath your window.
You smile and brace your arms on the windowsill, ignoring the way the cold metal digs into your skin. "Did you come out here to just say that?"
"I was hoping to back it up with a demonstration of how much, exactly, I like those shorts."
"Uh-huh."
"So?" he asks, mischief dripping from the rounded vowel, eyebrows raising.
"Not happening," you say pleasantly. "My parents' bedroom is literally right above mine."
He grimaces as he remembers that, too. "Yeah, alright, fair enough."
"But I wouldn't say no to your company, either..."
"Oh, you wouldn't, would you?"
You grin, warmth fluttering inside your chest, chasing away the cold.
Kazuya grins back, eyes twinkling with fondness.
"You want my help?" you ask, teasing, gesturing to the rose bush. "I could cradle you in my arms and just walk up the wall."
"Tempting. Truly," he says, eyes flickering over the rose bush and the windowsill. "But let's not forget where we came from. I'm a grown adult. I can get around this easy."
You snort and move your arms from the windowsill, hugging yourself instead.
Kazuya squints, clearly thinking it over. Or trying to remember. It's been a long, long time since he's climbed into your room this way.
"I got this," he says, snapping his fingers.
"Do you?"
He ignores you, moving to the corner of the rose bush; it spans the length of your window and then a couple more inches just to be sure (your dad was concise about it). He extends a hand to you and you unwrap your arms from yourself, leaning forward to take it.
"Easy," he says, using his other hand to brace on the side of the window.
Concern prickles at you now. No real danger, just concern at Kazuya's apparent stubbornness and loyalty to old traditions (honestly).
"Ready?" he asks.
"Don't hurt yourself. Seriously."
"How could I when I have you here? You'll save me, won't you? My hero," he croons.
You just shake your head and tighten your grip on his hand, ready to lean out there, take him into your arms, and get him safely inside.
Instead, using his strength and yours - a much more reliable source these days, fortunately - he pushes off his feet with a grunt, lifting himself over the rose bush in one swoop and bracing a shoe on the windowsill, his other floating above the bush.
"Kazuya -"
"I got it, I got it."
He does have it.
But then he gets cocky, bracing in the window without your help and attempts to take off his shoes. Why, you don't know. They're going to touch your floor, anyway.
"Well, put them someplace they won't," he says when you point that out. But one hand leaves the windowsill and he balances on one leg and immediately regrets the decision as he sways backward.
Then you're leaping forward, yanking him into your room. He stumbles, regaining his footing, and you don't falter, holding up his weight like nothing. It is nothing. He and the others are like feathers to you.
Your other hand extends to close the window using your webbing.
"You're annoying," you say when he's steadied.
"I love you," he says in response.
Everything inside you heats up and turns into goo. You press your face to his chest, his clothes cold, his hands even colder as they come up to pry your face away from him. His lips are cold, too, as they touch yours and you work to remedy that.
You hear the sound of him finally slipping off his sneakers, then he gently guides you forward, away from the window and the small draft there. To the center of the room, where a small space heater hums quietly. It soothes away the gooseflesh on your legs.
"So," he asks when he pulls away, pleased as the canary that got the cream, his eyes bright. "How'd they react?"
You roll your eyes, stepping away from the circle of his arms so he can pull off his hoodie and toss it over your desk chair.
"Not surprised. Not even a little bit."
"I sort of expected Dad to be," he says, dropping down to the floor, with his back to the bed, well in range of the space heater and rubbing his hands together.
"Was he?"
He snorts. "No. Kind of embarrassing, to be honest. But what's more embarrassing..."
"Can I try to beat you for this one?" you ask, sitting down next to him, the skin of his arm - still cool - brushing yours as his hand slips into the pocket of his sweats.
"Let's hear it, then."
"Apparently, they found out as soon as the others did because they were in on that bet Youichi was talking about."
He muffles a laugh into his fist. "That's -"
"It's not funny. I mean, honestly. You know what's worse? There's another bet running for us."
Kazuya calms his chuckles. "Really? What's that all about, then?"
Your face heats up. You scowl. "For when we get married."
A look of shock, before he starts snickering, turning away when he sees the look on your face.
You poke him in the side. "Seriously? Kazuya, it's insane. I mean... what makes them think..."
"I don't know," he says, mirth still in his voice as he looks back at you; his eyes crinkle in a way that makes your chest tight with affection. "I'm starting to think there's precedent."
"Look, I know it took us a while to get together but I don't think -"
"Not that," he chuckles. "Well, yes, that, sort of, but mostly..."
He pulls out something from his pocket. It catches the overhead light, winking at you.
You gawk. "Is that -"
"Mom's engagement ring. Yeah."
The thin band is gold, the diamond small and unassuming, but still beautiful all the same.
Blood rushes in your ears, your heart pounding, and you look up at Kazuya, unsure.
He cracks a smile. "Relax. I'm not proposing. And I'm not just lying about not proposing since you're clearly not ready for it -"
"Kazuya," you whine.
"Kidding, kidding! I just," he stops, glancing away, rubbing the back of his neck; the tips of his eyes turn red. "I dunno. He wasn't exactly telling me to do it now. Just that it's mine. And well. What's mine is yours and all that. No secrets, right?"
"No secrets," you echo, your arm pressed against his. You can smell his shampoo. Warm and cozy.
You keep staring at the ring. Your fingers twitch to reach out and grab it.
But before that can happen, Kazuya closes his hand around it and starts to put it back in his pocket.
You stop him. "What are you - okay, come on. Don't put it there. Don't want you to lose it. Hold on."
You spring to your feet and step out of your room, closing the door behind you and going down the hall that opens into the living room. Your parents sit on the couch, watching the nightly news.
You step into the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers before finding a small snack bag and deciding that's good enough.
"Tell Kazuya we said hi and goodnight," your mom says as you pass behind the couch.
Your face warms and you mutter, "Okay."
You slip inside. Kazuya looks up from his hand, now open again, the ring in his palm.
You give him an exasperated look. "My parents say hi."
He snorts and accepts the baggie, dropping the ring into it and closing it up.
The both of you look at it for a moment.
"So, it's just... Dunno. Like I said. Wanted to let you know."
You frown slightly. "You don't know what?"
Kazuya sighs. "If that's something you can do. You know. I mean with what you do. It's fine if not. Really. I don't mind. But I don't know."
You bite your lip, taking the baggie from him, running your thumb over the thin band, feeling the groove of the diamond, before you turn and set it on your nightstand.
"Well," you say, shoulders drawing back as you look at him again. "Spider-Woman is allowed to want that kind of stuff and I am, too. S-So... yes." You falter at what it sounds like to your ears and hasten to clarify. "Not now. We still have your surgery. Then we need to look at my job offers. And we need to graduate. And -"
You stop, mystified as he touches his index finger to the tip of your nose. You blink at it, then at him.
Your stomach swoops like you missed a step when you see the open expression on his face, a soft smile tugging at his lips, brown eyes warm.
"I know," he says, and you know what he knows.
His hand moves to cup your cheek. You lean into his palm, looking up at him, bursting at the seams with love. So much of it you feel like you might split open and it will all come rushing out between you.
So, you say, "I love you."
Kazuya pulls you into his lap, arms encircling you, hugging you. Something about it feels so terribly intimate. You bury your face in his neck.
"I love you," he sighs into your hair and you curl yourself tighter against him.
I'm yours, your cells seem to sing at the way you want to sink into him and never let go.
All the way down to your atoms, which don't work the way other atoms do, thanks to your biology, and it affords you the privilege of having that closeness no other person could have.
This is how it's supposed to be for you two.
This is how it will be for the rest of your life.
You will do everything in your power to make sure of it.
The comicbooks might've tried to sell a model of loneliness, of working on your own, but you know better.
There is no you without your friends. Your family.
There is no you without Kazuya.
━━━━━━ author's note
well that's it!
i know my sudden completion might be coming out of nowhere but the short of it was that i did not have the energy to proof a chapter each week for this on top of my two other fics currently ongoing. so i'm just 'sacrificing' this one to help with that.
it also helps that across the spider-verse recently came out and i saw it and was just... so full of emotions. especially as i read these chapters again. a lot that went on here unintentionally echoed it, so i'm really pleased. not to mention i've had two people tell me they thought about this fic while watching the movie so that was :')
in any case, i really hope you all enjoyed. this fic is definitely my baby and one of my favorite ideas that i've ever had. writing it was such a joy and i hope you guys managed to get some joy while reading too ^_^