ETHAN R.
"I DONT WANNA TALK RIGHT NOW"
as i lay in my bed i think about the memories me and my girlfriend had together as a couple. we recently just broke up because i cheated on her. i feel bad for her, she didn't deserve that. she's always been so good to me and i hate that i did that to her.
as i was once again deep in my thoughts i heard a knock at my door. "can i come in, its jay!" i groaned as i heard my older brother requesting to come in. "i dont wanna talk right nowwww!" i yelled back
"I JUST WANNA WATCH TV"
i began to get bored so i decided to watch tv. i cut on me and leilani's favorite show survivor.
as i watched i began to felt guilty again, seeing the people suffer on this show made me think about lei. about how she's suffering right now. ik how she feels because my ex did me this bad. thats how i began to act "heartless"
"ILL STAY IN THE POOL AND DROWN, SO I DONT HAVE TO WATCH YOU LEAVE"
id rather drown than watch leilani leave me for good, id always have to be the one who leaves first. i couldnt deal with that. i just think about myself, and look where that got me. standing on my own.
LEILANI C.
"I PUT ON SURVIVOR JUST TO WATCH SOMEBODY SUFFER"
i put on me and nottis favorite show "survivor" . as i watched the show i began to realize why, i turned this on just to watch somebody suffer.. that's usually likely of notti not me. i guess it portrayed my state of mind best right now. i felt a bit tired.
"MAYBE I SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP"
nah. im not really tired, just drained.
"SINKING IN THE SOFA WHILE THEY ALL BETRAY EACH OTHER"
as i sat on my super soft sofa in my living room watching them all betray each other once more, i thought
"WHAT'S THE POINT OF ANYTHING?"
as i thought of my favorite people ever, i began to realize.
"ALL OF MY FRIENDS, ARE MISSING AGAIN"
i had dropped my friends, who actually cared about me because i put notti before them. and only talked to them when me and notti got into it. i hate how i treated them. they didn't deserve that. but i guess,
"THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE"
"YOU DONT HAVE HAVE THE TIME, YOU LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIND"
"you tell yourself it's fine your just inlove"
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authors note!
short but i might make a pt2 😘