deadly games
❝celebration❞
PAIN HAD SUCH A STRONG FEELING. Whether it was physically or mentally. Both ways could drain a person so much until they choose to give up. And giving up sometimes could be wise, but most of the time it comes under the form of a mistake.
When you found yourself focusing on your breaths — counting them, you realized that you didn't want to give up. Giving up on yourself would also mean to give up on the ones you love.
The same thing was happening for Chishiya, because now he had you and a strong wish to be alive. Do whatever he couldn't do before he met you. He felt as if he was just reborn and now he had so many things to do.
As for Niragi, who was next to Chishiya, he always felt as if he had so much ahead. He wanted to have the life he gave up on back, knowing deep down that it was too hard to redempt.
Every new day in the borderlands was like a blessing. The next day was never promised, but even so, the ones with the will to live were able to survive every obstacle.
Most people would immediately decease if what happened to Niragi would've happened to them. Niragi had the strongest will to live, to prove everyone that even if you're the villain, the worst human being, you can still survive anything. It was like an oath he made to himself — proving everyone wrong. But as much as you tried to understand his ways, you just couldn't. There was no trace left of who he used to be. The human decency he once had was gone.
"You guys still alive?" Niragi asked chuckling to himself.
You could barely keep your eyes opened while keeping your head on Chishiya's shoulder the entire time. And him pressing his own head against yours. The way you two were there for each other, in the same hurtful situation, was still a beautiful sight to anybody. Including Niragi who's head was turned to look at you.
"Do you still blame yourself, Y/N?" Niragi simply asked and you already knew what he was talking about.
"For what...?"
"Yamato and me." he answered and just that name successfully sent a chill over your spine. Because you answered with silence, he continued. "My parents made me say that... they needed the money. If you've been wondering how he's doing now... His father's firm went broke and they lost everything..." Niragi revealed and a lazy smile appeared on your exhausted face.
"Deserved..." you said content to hear about his misfortune. "And... thank you for saving me back then."
Niragi's lips slightly parted, surprised that you remembered that part.
"Sure..." it came out more as a mumble from him, because he knew how much he changed. How he wouldn't do the same now, for anybody.
For a split second this conversation felt to you as if you were speaking to your old friend. The Suguru you knew as a kind, sweet boy. Sometimes even clumsy, but his smartness was making up to that. He was always getting back on his feet, until he didn't.
His change was the worst and scariest that could happen to someone. It didn't only affect him, but also the people around him. Niragi was now perceived as a pathetic and monstruous human being — exactly how he felt when he was beaten up by Yamato and the others. Not just perceived, he was indeed the monster he tried to become. There was no going back, only parts of regret that would stick with him for the rest of his life. And he deserved it. Suguru Niragi deserved every pain he went through during his time in the borderlands and from now on.
There were lots of people in the borderlands who fought for their lives even though they held regrets connected to a dark past. Soon, even these empty surroundings could become part of that dark past many tried to hide. But hiding it would never make it disappear. It would just keep returning until you can finally face it and deal with it. Look at it and get used to seeing it in front of you — as a part of you. Every memory, good or bad, is a lesson to someone's growth. Without experiences a personality wouldn't exist. Everything would just be plain and not worth living for.
"You okay...?" Chishiya asked you and you were relieved to hear his voice. At any time, it could stop being heard.
"No, you?" you asked with your eyes closed, imagining a world where there were no obstacles for the two of you. A world where there would be peace.
"Not at all... But at least... you're with me."
"Always will be." your words comforted him.
It was surprisingly good to finally have someone, even though Chishiya would've never thought so before. You changed him a lot and he was aware of it; what he thought it was a waste of time became exactly what he would want to experience every second he had left.
"You know... I hated you guys together, but I think in reality... I was just jealous. It's rare to find someone that accepts you exactly as you are. You're a lucky man, Chishiya..." Niragi said through shaky breaths. "And you too, Y/N."
Only Niragi knew how much he meant what he said. To you and Chishiya, it seemed as if he was trying to wash away his sins before dying. But unfortunately, nothing could ever be so easy for someone who caused so much pain. To himself and to others.
It was a shame that someone who could've been so great, had to let insecurities overcome him and own him, turning him into something unrecognizable that no one wanted to have anything to do with.
"I despise the person you've... become, Niragi. But I also miss the one you used to be... If you ever get out of here and have the chance to start off from zero, be better." you told him and Niragi knew you were right. However, he had no idea how it could ever be possible.
♤ ♧ ♡ ♢
The time was passing painfully slow. There was a depressing silence, that no one dared to break. Three heavy breaths were the only source of sound left. And while you focused on yours, you were relieved to also hear Chishiya's.
Your mind also flew to how Arisu and Usagi were doing since it's been a while since they left to defeat the King of Spades. Even if they successfully did so, there would still be Mira left. The Queen of Hearts, who'd mess up with their minds in a way that no one could even imagine. She was probably watching everyone struggling — even you. Finding some sort of joy and excitement as she watched Arisu fight as much as he could.
There were only what ifs running through your head, things that could be happening now or in the future. But also some that already happened and were set in stone.
All you wanted was for Chishiya to get better and finally live the life he secretly wanted but had the desire for locked inside. For Kuina to return to the original world and be with her mother, maybe even set some common ground with her father. For Arisu to return without a single regret and stronger than he ever was, to finally settle with a stable job and maybe have his endgame with Usagi. Because you've never seen anyone before looking at each other the way he looked at Usagi and she looked at him. That love was as pure as a new drop of water falling on a rainy day.
Everyone went through so much, that you couldn't bear to hear someone else you knew to lose their life.
Interrupting yourself from thinking, you focused on something else. A loud explosion from afar, in the direction Arisu left and the King of Spades' blimp went as well. He did it. You knew it was him who'd pass you soon enough, in order to get to the last blimp standing. You were so proud of everything he did and how strong he was during his time in the borderlands.
"You heard that...?" you asked Chishiya.
"I did." he answered and both of you tried to form a lazy smile.
Chishiya's only source of focus was your scent and the sound of your heavy breath, those were the only things that made him fight his pain. The only motivation he had was you and the life he grew to desire having with you back in the original world.
"Let's just hang on a little longer..." you whispered. "We'll be fine."
Your words were meant to come out as a comfort to the blonde, but he knew that you were mostly trying to convince yourself. Chishiya thought you deserved more than anyone else to escape this world and go back safely. You've been through so much emotionally and physically during your stay. You lost people that you took for granted and always thought they would be there. But you also surprisingly found someone who you would never take for granted. Because Chishiya was the one for you and you were sure of it.
Steps started approaching and you watched Arisu coming closer from the distance, while holding Usagi who seemed to be seriously injured.
Arisu's eyes immediately ran at you to make sure you were still alive and once he saw your eyes half opened, he felt relieved. But having so many people he cared about hurt determined him to do his best and finish the last game by defeating Mira. You didn't say anything to Arisu, but the look you gave him said enough. You wanted him to kick her ass once and for all. It was something you wished you could do by yourself, but lately you didn't feel as motivated as you were before. The games drained you from every point of view and you needed a break.
"If we return to our world... alive..." Chishiya started as a bit of hope after seeing Arisu rushed inside of him. "Should we get married?"
Chishiya used to hate the entire concept of devoting yourself to a person that wasn't your own. He used to think it was a facade just to not die by yourself. In a way, he could've been right, but after he allowed himself and got out of his comfort zone for you, his mind changed. He wanted to wake up with you and go to sleep with you. In a boring way, not in a way where tomorrow was never promised.
His question totally threw you off guard, because it was something you would've never expected coming from him. And as you replayed his just said words, you wondered how much of the old Chishiya was left. You adored to see him more open to you, but at the same time you hoped he changed for himself more than anything else.
"I don't know... Should we?"
"I think we should, wifey."
"Hmm... let me think more about it, hubby. I didn't even receive a ring just yet."
"And here I thought you weren't the materialistic type..." he sighed as he faked a hurt expression, even though his physical pain didn't ease up even a little bit.
"I'll say yes after... the final blimp will expode." you said it in a way for the both of you to keep fighting.
Having a conversation with him was surprisingly more helpful than you would've thought. You fixated on him, instead of the pain and the unstoppable loss of blood.
"We could not make it..." Chishiya's negativity spoke.
"At least...we'd be dying together."
It was something you meant to come out as a joke, but as time kept running from one second to one minute, you realized that it could easily become reality.
You weren't ready to die — who was? But if you did, it would happen while you had no regrets. You did your best while also finding something you didn't search for in the first place. Love. The thing everyone kept talking about and you never understood why. You never saw it as something so great, until Chishiya changed your mind. Ironically, the same man you were arranged to marry in the original world. And now, he asked you willingly to devote yourself to a life with him. Something you wouldn't particularly mind.
And while you kept replaying all the moments, good and bad from your life, your eyes slowly closed. You felt them getting heavier, your breath as well, so you let them take the lead. It was scary to think that you could leave in that moment and never come back. Never see the people you care about still alive and doing well. The time felt as if it was stopping, but it kept going. The moon was replacing the sun, the surroundings darkening.
There were still things you wished to undo, or repair, but didn't get the chance to. You wanted to repair your situation with your parents, as draining and obnoxious it felt, in reality you needed them. Your family. The concept that's supposed to guide you through all the positiveness in the world during your childhood. It rarely happened, however it was too late to change it, but not too late to replace it with something better. Even though your thoughts kept screaming at you to keep going, it was just so difficult to do so.
Just like that, on the point of giving up, you heard fireworks. And the sudden noise made you try to ignore the pain and the thoughts occuring in your mind.
Celebration fireworks.
An explosion.
It was over.
𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙸𝙳𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙾 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝚈 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃𝚁𝚈 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙴 𝙸𝚃.
𝙾𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽,
𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙼𝚄𝚂𝚃 𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙸𝙳𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙾 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃 𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝚈 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃𝚁𝚈 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙴 𝙸𝚃.
The final breaths you still held were the only way that allowed you to answer.
"I'll... have to decline." you said feeling your voice cracking.
"I want... to turn it down, I think." Chishiya's response would've been so different a while ago. "What are you gonna say?" Chishiya asked Niragi.
"I decline." Niragi answered, knowing so well that this was the chance he had wanted. To escape his worst self.
Your eyes slowly moved upwards, to look at him quietly. The fight he had with himself could finally get an end and he knew it.
Chishiya cracked a smirk, feeling content that he did his best and survived to see the end.
"I guess you'll... have to put a ring on it..." you said referring to your hand.
"I guess so..."
After so many lies and manipulations, blood and tears, you were finally free to return to that boring life you grew to miss. Together with Chishiya, which was all you wanted.
It felt like such a long time in which you had to play games, so giving up on it was the very needed break.
Your eyes met Chishiya's, both pairs visibly in pain, but lovestruck by the sight of each other. Both of you knew it was over and now you could live a better life. Your time here, however, taught you to be patient, to know what to change whenever you'd go back to the original world.
But after all, it was you who decided it was what you should do. Not the games, not the borderlands, not the deaths. Because after all, what could the games do for you? They were just some deadly games.
(A/N : dont worry guys there still a special chapter coming soon!)